New ficcy out! Read it or die! Oh, the National Anthem we sang belongs to Kretzing. Jimmy belongs to Katie.


After we were done sobbing, we went inside Katie's house. I'm serious! That is the most beautiful song you can here in life! Better than that Every daisy has it's needles or whatever thatcrappy song is.

"Okay, so he's from a video game?" Zoe asked. We nodded

"And he came out of a destroyed PS2?" Nod.

"And Psycho's his only fangirl?" Nod.

"Squee!" I went taking in pride that I was his one and only fangirl.

"And you put him back in once and that resulted in the cancelling of Barney, Teletubbies, and Spongebob?" Nod again.

"And you came to me why?"

"You're the only one who knows what's going on in life!" I chirped. Zoe got a super-sized sweatdrop on her head and she turned away. I think she's annoyed with us already. Sledgehammer looked around and pulled a heartless out of the cushions.

"What the?" he said. The small heartless aqueaked and jumped on Sledgie's head.

"AAAAAAHHH! KILLER RAT! GET IT OFF! And stop calling me Sledgie!" he yelled. He's still reading the typing? The shadow scratched Sledgehammer's face and hissed. He grabbeed it and threw it off. It would have hit the wall, if Katie didn't jump in front of it and grab it.

"Stop! You could've hurt Jimmy, David!" Katie yelled as she hugged the heartless and stroked its horns. Apparently she's still convinced he's David Hasselhoff.

"Jimmy?" I asked. I knew she had a pet heartless under her sister's bed (that would explain the odd creature that lived under there that she aptly named Fred), but I thought her parents would make her get rid of it! But she was keeping it! Do you know what could happen with a heartless in your house? (crickets chiring) Apparantly not.

"Yep! Isn't he cute?" she asked.

"No! Well, yes, but that thing could easily rip out your heart while you were sleeping!"I yelled trying to get as far away from the pint-sized threat. Katie glared at me.

"Jimmy would never!"

"Then explain that." I pointed out the window we all looked out and saw Jimmy standing on a dead guy snacking on his heart. Behind him were twelve other ppl! Hearts ripped out! Not pretty!

"Well... Are you gonna help me out now?" Sledgehammer asked impatiently. We were still shocked by Jimmy's "betrayal", that we didn't remember why we were here. Zoe looked at him.

"Erm... What are we going to do to him?" she asked. We turned around. Or I did. Katie ran out trying to convince the SWAT team that Jimmy wasn't a threat.

"I'm not sure. We could leave and go find someone who might know what's going on," I suggested. Zoe nodded.

"That's a good idea, but what about him?" she asked pointing to my boyfriend.

"I'm not your boyfriend!" he yelled and came at me with his hammer.

"Sqeek!" I yelled and dove behind the couch. I looked up cautiosly.

"What about him?" I asked.

"We can't just leave him here by himself! What if someone sees him? We don't need two visits from the FBI today!" she yelled just as Katie slammed the door behind her. I looked at her purse. Since when did it have horns?

"AAAAAAHHH! MUTANT PURSE!" I screamed ant ducked behind the couch again. Zoe raised an eyebrow and a little lightbulb appeared above her head.

"Hey! Why doesn't Katie watch him?" she said cheerfully. Katie's face lit up.

"You mean, I get to spend quality time with Davy Wavy?" she asked as her eyes turned into large hearts. I nodded.

"Yep. Here are the ground rules Katie.

1. No leaving the house. With or without Sledgehammer. No one can know about this.

2. No inviting anyone over while he's here. Otherwise, your friends will think you're crazier than you already are.

3. Absolutely NO accepting calls from my sister! She really doesn't need to find out about this!

4. If you do talk to her, don't say anything about Sledgie!

Follow these rules, and I'll give you a cookie!" I said. Sledgehammer threatened me with his hammer again. I wish he would stop reading what I'm typing!

"We'll be back soon!" Zoe yelled. We were about to leave when Sledgehammer grabbed our ankles.

"Please don't take long! Your friend is begining to scare me!" We looked at Katie and she was on the ceiling fan, holding a chainsaw (thank God it wasn't on!), and chanting:

"Pie esu domine, dona eis requiem..." And then she whacked herself in the head with a broken off piece of the wooden blade. (w00t! Monty Python!) She continued to do this until I turned on the ceiling fan and sent her flying.

"Leprechauns!" she yelled before flying out the window. A few seconds later she was on Sledgehammer's head again.

"Bye guys!" she yelled as we closed the door and left.

"Mwhahahahahahaha..."


I have a piece of advice for all of you. Never, I mean NEVER, go to a video game store and try to exlain a bizzare situation to the master of all games. We tracked him down in the local Babadges and we told him our problem.

He called us insane and threw us out. The nerve of that guy. Feeling defeated, we trudged back to Katie's house, only to find something worse...

Katie had Sledgehammer on puppet strings! That isn't even the worst part! She had him in a pink tutu- although it looked rather fetching on him- and was making him dance the Nutcracker! I've seen things that were sick and wrong, but this takes it to a whole new level!

"Bwahahahaha! Dance my puppet! Dance!" she commanded. Sledgehammer glared at her and tried to rip the stings off. This made Katie angry.

"You shall pay for this!" she yelled. She pulled the strings apart and made him do a split. Ouch!

"Now...I know why they...call it the 'Nutcracker'!" he wheezed. ...Ewwwwww! That's nasty, but funny in a way!

"Bad David Hasselhoff! Now we must do it again!" She made him do a split again and he screamed in agony. Ooh, that had to hurt! Zoe shook her head and pulled out a cookie.

"Here Katie! Go get the nice double chocolatey chip with m&m's and sprinkles!" Zoe called. Katie dropped the strings and ran to Zoe. She grabbed the cookie and stuffed it in her mouth. I quickly detached Sledgehammer and he ripped off the tutu. See folks? This is why men shouldn't wear pink! He grabbed his hammer and came at all three of us.

"I don't care if you are my only way out! I'm killing you all! Right here, right now!" Oh shitaki mushrooms...

We took off in three different directions: Katie right into Sledgehammer (but she missed and went out the open window...), me up the stairs, and Zoe through the kitchen. Sledgehammer looked out the window and searched for Katie. He found her, but she let go of the top of the window and landed on his head screaming: "I luv you David Hasselhoff!"

He gave up searching for her when she decided to follow a squirrel down teh road and into Starbucks. I guess he knew what could happen with her there...

He walked up the stairs looking for me next. Normally, I would be overcome with joy to see my fantasies come true, but when someone you stalk/worship (not really. I worship God! But I do stalk him!) tries to kill you, you normally want to get away as fast as you can. He opened the door to the bathroom. No me. Katie's room. Nope. San Francisco. Nada. Just between you and me, I'm in the laundry room!

"Thanks for that!" he yelled. Crap! He's still reading the typing, isn't he? He walked in and grabbed me by the throat.

"Ack! Can't breath!" I yelled. What happened next was something even I couldn't have seen coming. Katie's heartless, Jimmy, jumped on his head again.

"AAAAAAAHHH! IT'S BACK!" he yelled while trying to pry Jimmy off his adowable head. Tee hee! Jimmy scratched his face and hopped on my shoulder. I ran outta there, holding onto the heartless and not looking back. Zoe came out from under the sink.

"Is he gone?" she asked.

"No, but I'd run if I were you!" We ran towards Starbucks and found Katie. She looked at us and was twitcching like a madman.

"H-h-h-hi guys! Wh-wh-what's u-up?" she twitched.

"Katie? Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded and said.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yep! I've only H-h-h-h-h-h-h-had t-t-t-t-tw-tw-twelve cappucinos!" she yelled. Zoe, Jimmy, and I hugged each other and shivered. This wasn't going to end well. The clerk behind the counter tapped me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me? Is there a miss Crazy-Psycho-Chic here?" she asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Phonecall for you." I took the phone and held it to meh ear.

"Mushi Mushi?" I said.

"GET YOUR LAZY BUTT BACK HERE AND GET ME INTO LONDON!" a voice roared. I knew who's voice that was.

"Hey! Don't yell at me! You're the one who tried to killus!" I scramed back. I heard a frustrated growl on the other line. (sigh) His voice sounds so sexy when he's angry!

"...You're really starting to creep me out, ya know?" Zoe said.

"Oh great! Now everyone can read the typing!" I yelled angrily.

"Well, duh! We're in a fanfiction! We can do whatever we want!" Sledgehammer yelled on the other line.

"Yeah! Like fly!" Katie yelled. She got on top of Starbucks and jumped off. She landed with a hard thud.

"Okay! We still can't do that!" she yelled. Oooh! That one really had to hurt! Ew! Blood everywhere! Oh wait, that's roadkill. Ah! There she is! Wait, how is she perfectly fine? She fell from like, two stories or something! Aw,who cares! We got some cappucionos to go (decaf for Katie!) and headed to Katie's house. We found Sledgehammer sitting on the couch.

"I'ts about time!" he yelled. We glared at him and Katie held Jimmy in front of her.

"Fear the heartless!" she yelled. Sledgehammer stood up and grabbed Jimmy. Katie's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't!" she gasped. Katie pulled out the puppet strings and held them towards him.

"Aaah! Not again!" he cried. He threw Jimmy at Katie and she caught him.

"Wait! I know someone else who can help!" Katie yelled as she put her pet down.

"Who?" we asked.

"Follow me!" Katie yelled. We went up to her room and she lifted the bottom part of the covers of her bed. Before we knew what was happening, a pair of hands grabbed Zoe and tried to drag her down. I grabbed her hair and pulled.

"Ow! Psycho! That hurts! Quit it!" Sledgehammer grabbed my ankles. Katie laughed and kicked him. We flew under and Katie and Jimmy crawled in after us.

To be continued...