Disclaimer: not mine, I'm just borrowing for the sake of it.
Ok, so now it's Jeff's turn, what's the daddy thinking? It's all just so confusing isn't it? This may be confusing, I don't know what its like to run a house full of kids (though I plan to have many as soon as I find the right man) or what it would be like to lose a child. So I'm sorry if this isn't quite up to scratch at the moment. I've tried my best, but I just don't seem to have all the right words for it. Ah well. Read it and tell me what you think. I'm open to revising this chapter if it really doesn't make sense.
Chapter 5Jeff Tracy pulled up outside a 24-hour garage, he opened the car door and got out, rubbing his eyes tiredly, he had been straining his eyes as he drove to see if anyone he had passed was John. So far he had found nothing.
He went into the garage and straight to the counter. "Hello, you haven't by any chance seen a boy, twelve years old, about 5'4", blond hair, blue eyes?" he asked hopefully.
"Ain't seen no kids in 'ere tonight-sorry." The man shrugged.
Jeff sighed. "Thank you." He went back outside and got back into the car and started it up. Wondering where on earth his son had gone.
He blamed himself of course; he should have remembered the science fair, after John had practically begged him to go. But there was more than that to blame himself for suddenly. Over the past number of years after his wife's death he hadn't been as good a father as he should have been. Especially to John if he was completely honest.
He had been shattered after Lucy's death. Scott had risen to the occasion at the age of twelve to take control of his younger brothers, after a few weeks Virgil had started to help him. John had quietly taken on a lot of chores around the house to help out. So when Jeff had finally come back to himself two months later, fumbling and confused, not knowing what to do, he had sometimes taken his frustration out on the boys, yelling. Scott and Virgil had yelled right back; John just took it and moved on.
Jeff had put a lot of responsibility on John's shoulders because he never argued like Scott and Virgil. Yes, he had forced his eight-year-old son to grow up far too quickly. And yet, that was not the thought that haunted Jeff. No what he was thinking about was more painful to a certain degree.
Xx
Jeff opened the door to John's room to find his middle son sitting on his window seat, staring out. "John, you should be in bed." He said softly.
John turned to him and smiled sadly. "I can't sleep."
Jeff went to the window seat. John moved a little to let him sit down. "John, I know losing your mother is hard, but she wouldn't want you to wear yourself out like this, by not sleeping… and Scott was saying you haven't had dinner for the past three nights." He had over heard Scott and Virgil talking earlier, one of the reasons he had come up.
John looked back outside. "I know dad… I just… I…" he blinked, his eyes shinny with unshed tears.
"You miss her?" Jeff whispered, feeling the familiar pain well up in him.
John nodded.
Jeff watched him struggle with the tears. "John, it's-"
"Daddy." Four-year-old Alan said from the door. "Daddy, I had a bad dream." His little face was streaked with tears. "It was about mummy." He burst into a fresh set of tears.
Jeff hurried over and picked him up, Alan had been having nightmares almost every night since the accident. He shushed him softly. Turning to John, about to say something.
"I'm ok dad, go settle Alan."
Jeff smiled his thanks to John as he took Alan out of the room and back to his own. Determined to come back and talk to John as soon as he had Alan settled.
Unfortunately Alan's cries woke Gordon and it took Jeff and hour and a half to settle them both back to sleep. Emotionally drained he went back to John's room, to find him in bed, the lights off.
But by the light from the window Jeff could see that he had been crying.
Jeff closed the door with a soft sigh.
Xx
He had never had the chance to have that talk with John, never had the chance to talk about Lucy's death to him. Something had always come up, and John had always told him to go.
John was always putting somebody else's needs before his own. It was for precisely that reason Jeff had always felt John would understand if he had something else more important to get done. Now Jeff saw just how wrong he had been. Nothing should have come before his son. Nothing.
He pulled the car away from the curb and kept searching.
Well? I hope it was ok. Thanks everybody who reviewed. I love you all.
who do you think is up next?
