'I know.'
'But, Chief, this is serious stuff. Sixty million dollars.'
'I know.'
'How's the city going to afford to pay that creep?'
'We'll have to call Batman; he'll have to help us.'
'I guess he knows Bruce Wayne, maybe he can make a donation to the city?'
'Somehow, I doubt that.'
Gordon turned to the young officer.
'Look, I don't really want to talk to him while you're here,' he let his voice trail off. The officer took the hint, and disappeared through the office door, closing it with just a little too much force; Gordon winced and picked up the phone receiver.
'You don't have to do that,' a voice from the window. It was Batman.
'You know how serious this is?'
'I'm sorry Commissioner. If I'd known that the city would be put in so much peril, I might only have broken one of his legs.'
'Peril!' Gordon shouted, and then thought better of it, whispering. 'Peril. If only this was peril. I've got an army of lawyers outside asking for files I thought were long closed; they're really digging up some dirt on you.'
'I had a few issues, y'know.'
'No. I don't know. A guy in a bat suit with issues, I really couldn't have guessed,' Gordon sighed. 'Do you want to explain what these issues are, exactly, so the city can at least mount a defense based on momentary lapse of sanity?'
'Well, the perp looked like my Dad.'
'And that's an excuse? I thought you loved your father?'
'Well. I do, I mean I did,' Batman brooded in the window; he seemed to be grasping for the right words. 'It's just, when Dad died, he left me alone y'know, I was only a kid.'
'So you have abandonment issues? For fuck's sake Batman, what next?'
'Well, when I saw the guy, he was mugging some woman. And she looked like my mom.'
'Fuck.'
'Yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it either. I suddenly got all defensive, I started screaming 'Leave my mom alone', the poor guy didn't know what hit him.'
'And now the city's been hit with a sixty million dollar lawsuit.'
'I won't pay this criminal.'
'I know you won't, we'll sort it out. Just like we sort everything out.'
'Thanks Gordon.'
'Does anyone else know Wayne Industries is up the shitter?'
'Not yet, I have some very creative accountants. Plus the government kickbacks keep the wolves from the door, y'know. If Wayne Industries goes down, so do half the senate.'
'That's a pleasant thought.'
'Hey, this kind of reminds of the time I slept with that hooker, cos she looked like Barbara.'
'Yeah, I can see where you might get that idea.'
'Thanks for helping out on that one too.'
'Well, we need you to fight those really serious fruitloops, like The Joker and Twoface.'
'I'm good at that, aren't I Gordon?'
'Well, kind of.'
'What do you mean?'
'Sometimes, I just wish you'd kill the fuckers.'
