Disclaimer: They belong to other people. Then again, if said other people treated them properly, I wouldn't be writing this.

Spoilers: "These Are the Voyages"

A/N: How come Archer and T'Pol were the only ones grieving for Trip? This is my attempt to make more sense than Paramount, which has required a slight tweaking of canon. Just imagine an empty seat, okay?

To My Left

To my left is an empty VIP seat. Apparently Captain Archer made it very clear that he wanted the seat to remain empty as a reminder of our loss.

It was supposed to be Trip's seat. He should be here, smiling at the captain's attempt to minimize his role in this alliance, the first one to stand and begin clapping, and the first face the captain would seek out in the crowd. If Captain Archer is the man of the hour, than Trip is his de facto brother.

Was. Trip was his de facto brother. I keep thinking of Trip in the present tense, as though we hadn't just made arrangements for his funeral.

Hoshi is on my right, and she glances over to the empty seat. I know that she's thinking the same things I am. This just isn't right. Of all the people who should be here, Trip is foremost. Travis is consciously avoiding looking past me, as though doing so would validate his worst fears.

Ten years ago, I never could've imagined this. Trip, the southern American with bad taste in movies, was not someone I would've picked out as one of my closest friends. And yet, this momentous event seems incomplete without him.

He was going to work with a warp 7 engine next, and as much as he would miss Enterprise, I know that the idea of the new engine thrilled him. Trip alwaystook good care of his engines. Though those of us who knew and worked with him suffered the most acute loss, Starfleet lost a hell of an engineer.

I saw Captain Archer hug his parents. I'm going to speak at his funeral, but I don't know what I'm going to say to Mr. and Mrs. Tucker. How can I possibly explain how much their son meant to me?

Only the knowledge that Trip would never have allowed me to wallow in feelings of uselessness keeps me from blaming myself. Hoshi pointed that out. It all happened too fast. There was nothing I could've done.

Captain Archer will be coming out any moment now. I can imagine Trip sitting to my left, grinning and making some ridiculous remark that we'd laugh at. The people sitting around us would give us strange looks, then. Trip never cared.

I think that empty seat to my left is the only vacant seat in the whole room. It's conspicuous, a hole where there is obviously supposed to be someone.

The clapping alerts us to Captain Archer's entrance. From here I can't see his face, but I know that, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, his sorrow will show in his eyes. There's another thing I would never have imagined myself thinking ten years ago. Trip told me that.

"You gotta look in his eyes, Malcolm," he'd explained when I mentioned how unflappable the captain looked. "No matter what he does, he can't hide how he's really feelin.' It's in his eyes."

That was nearly seven years ago now, during the Xindi mission. I think that was when I really understood why Captain Archer chose Trip as his Chief Engineer. We got a first-rate engineer, but we also got someone who cared about his crewmates. Even through his own pain, he never stopped caring about the rest of us. A lesser man would never have been able to do that.

An expectant silence has fallen over the room. Every journalist has their headset trailed on Captain Archer. Millions of lives will be changed by this event, but for me it is tainted with loss.

To my left, there's an empty seat where Trip should be.