I do not have legal rights to these characters; I doubt that the owners would be happy with what I'm doing with them. Only Marvel, Hasbro, and Devils Due can make money off of these characters.

I am NOT, I swear, making up any of the poker card games listed in this story. I did make everything else up, though. I can't believe no one has written this storyline yet…

The rating is for: gambling references, language, adult situations, and nudity. Nothing too graphic, but a lot of innuendo.

G.I. Joe Headquarters, the Pit, Utah,

It had been a slow week for the Joes at the Base. There hadn't been a peep from Cobra in almost a month, and since Beach Head and Flint were both on fact-finding missions and Hawk had left for Washington, only Duke was left to keep everyone in line. But since Scarlett was at the base, too, he hadn't been keeping much of an eye on anyone but her. The team felt like they were on vacation—no early morning PT, no lectures on cleanliness, and no one to bust up the late night poker games.

Ace, Breaker, Gung-Ho, Torpedo, and Alpine were all gathered around a circular table set up in the communications area. Technically Breaker was on duty, but as long as he was facing the monitors, he figured he could divide his attentions with no problem. His pile of chips was considerably smaller than it had been at the start of the game. But that was all going to change. In his hands he held the best cards he'd had so far that night. He chomped down hard on his gum, blew a bubble, and as casually as possible, slid his remaining chips into the pile in the center of the table. "Ok, flyboy. I'm raising you everything I've got."

Looks passed around the table. Gung-Ho smiled. "So your luck finally turning, eh, Breaker? I find that hard to believe." He, too, slid most of his remaining chips to the center pile. Alpine looked at both of them for a moment, then said, "No risk, no glory. I'm in." His chips joined the others. Torpedo set his cards down on the green felt. "Nope. Not me. Maybe next time."

They all turned to Ace. "Ya know, guys, it's too bad we can't get together like this more often. I'd be a rich man. Well, if we were playing for money, anyway. I meet and call." He raised a hand. "But, just so you know for future reference, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret." He turned to Gung-Ho first. "You, Cajun, always play with your hat when you're bluffing." He reached for the large man's cards and turned them over, revealing a pair of twos. "And Alpine, no offense, but you are always bluffing." He flipped over the climber's cards. Three sevens. "Not bad, but if you'd held on to that five, you'd have had a full house." Alpine sputtered, "How…" Ace turned to Breaker. "You really shouldn't chew gum when you play. You only blow bubbles when you think you've got something. However, master that I am, I'm gonna take you down anyway. Let's see 'em." Breaker laid down, one by one, a two, three, four, five, and six. Everyone whistled, and Ace started laughing. "Oh, man. That was really a good try. Really. Keep it up." The pilot smiled as he laid down his hand, revealing a royal flush. Everyone moaned. "Shit, Ace, why do we even bother?" Torpedo asked.

"'Cause you think that some day, somehow, you're gonna get the better of me. It won't happen, but it's nice to dream, isn't it?"

"You cheat, don't you?" Breaker stared at Ace. "You must. It's the only possible explanation." Ace held up both his hands. "I don't know why I'm in a revealing mood tonight, but I'm gonna give away one more secret." He lowered his voice, and everyone leaned in closer. "I've only cheated once, and it wasn't tonight." He paused, remembering. "It was about a year ago…"


Only a skeleton crew was manning the Pit. It seemed like Cobra was everywhere these days, and nearly everyone was out on a mission, or on vacation after one. Word was the team was going to get a new commander, and the higher-ups wanted as many Joes in the field as possible, showing off. New teammates were on their way, too; the Joes remaining at the base would soon be training them.

But for now, the six Joes on base were bored out of their minds. They had been alone on base with no real duties for five days now. It was a good thing that Duke wasn't around, or they would have been busted several times already. As it was, Flint was the highest ranking member present—and he was up to as much mischief as any of the others. The only one who hadn't broken any fixtures or put holes in the drywall was Snake Eyes, who kept volunteering for comm. duty.

At the moment, Flint, Ace, and Shipwreck were playing tackle football in the hallways after being kicked out of the rec room by Cover Girl and Lady Jaye. Those two were watching movies, but as neither of them had been shopping off base for some time, they had to choose from titles that they'd seen a million times already.

It was their favorite scene, though. As the dramatic music swelled, and the girls started to sniffle at the death of the young woman on screen, the moment was broken by a large form hurtling over the couch. It was followed by two more, each of whom grabbed a leg of the first. The three men crashed unceremoniously into the laps of their female teammates. All was chaos. "Ugh, my eye!" "Move your elbow, you jerk!" "We got you! You're down!" "No way, I made ten yards, easy!" "Lady Jaye! Watch where you put your hands!"

The men eventually got up and dusted themselves off, only to find the two women sitting, arms crossed, with identical glares on their faces. "Uh…" started Shipwreck, "Thanks for the soft landing!" The girls' eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Hey, guys, why don't we go get the girls some… ice cream, or… chocolate…" Flint gulped as the eyes swiveled in his direction and narrowed to mere slits.

"Naw, they're just as bored as we are," Ace put in. "Look, they're watching Steel Magnolias again." He considered the screen for a moment. "Ew."

Lady Jaye turned to Cover Girl. "There's three of them. That means we each get to kill one, then kill the other together. Who do you want to take down?"

"Now, ladies," Ace purred. "No reason to get upset. Look, obviously we need some… distraction." He had been considering this suggestion all day, and it seemed like the perfect time. "How about some poker?" Ace hadn't played a lot with these particular teammates, and the other Joes who were aware of his skills were too embarrassed to spread stories of their stupendous defeats at his hands. Perfect.

Cover Girl and Lady Jaye glanced at each other and shrugged. Then a small smile crept over Lady Jaye's features. "We'll play on one condition." She raised an eyebrow at the boys. "STRIP poker." Everyone's jaws fell open, and Cover Girl let out a strangled gasp. Then it was the guys' turn to share identical expressions: huge goofy grins of anticipation.