Chapter 2
A/N- (disclaimer)-I DO NOT OWN THE ANIME NARUTO. And beware… SASUKE BASHING! WHOOPIE! I LOVE TORTURING HIM! This was taken place after Sasuke came back from Orochimaru, and Gaara's still KAZE-KAGE!
Sasuke mentally screamed when his two insane comrades started to chased him around with 'heavy duty' metal bats and bars that appeared out of nowhere. He mentally yelled at himself for his stupidity for forgetting the weapons. Suddenly, he felt a presence of another ninja. Naruto and Sakura must have felt the presence, too. They've stopped chasing him and look in the direction of that presence…
Neji Hyuuga….
…
…
…
There was a long pause… and everything was silent…
…
…
…
A totally insane idea suddenly popped into Naruto's mind as Sasuke suddenly ran towards to the Hyuuga and –
"NEJI! HELP ME! MY CRAZED TEAMMATES HAD GONE MAD AND STARTED TO CHASE ME WITH THOSE METAL BATS AND WAS TRYING TO KILL ME AND CALLING ME OROCHIMARU AND-" He was cut off by a sudden blow from Sakura. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Sasuke wailed
(A/N- snicker VERY OOC…. )
Sakura frowned, "YOU are not Sasuke- kun, so I have every right to kill and beat you."
"But I AM Sasuke!"
"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!" Naruto yelled, jumping from behind and start hitting him with a 'Heavy- Metal' mallet that appeared out of nowhere. "Oi, Hyuuga! Give us a hand here." Naruto called out to the confused boy. Neji stared blankly at the blond and nodded, meaning for him to go on.
"There's something wrong with our Sasuke- 'KUN'," Naruto gestured toward to Sasuke… or…. the remaining of Sasuke. "Can you use your Byakugan and see if that's the REAL Sasuke, or the FAKE Sasuke?" Naruto begged while Sakura took over Naruto's job, and start hitting Sasuke with the mallet. Neji hesitated, and answered,"Yes… but you need to help me hide from my teammates… INCLUDING my freaky teacher…" Naruto and Sakura grinned. "Sure!" Neji sighed with relieve.
"All right, BYAKUGAN!" Neji stared at Sasuke for a LOOONNNNGGG time, searching for any evidence that proves him fake, nothing…. until he reached to the head.
"… That's not Sasuke…" Neji declared at last. Sasuke flinched, Sakura and Naruto cracked their knuckles, and Kakashi…. Well… since two of his students were off killing the 3rd one, he has nothing to do, so…..
He left.
"WHY?" Sasuke cried dramatically. Neji just shrugged. 'Well, you have pimples; the Sasuke I knew was never OOC…"
"I'M OUT OF CHARACTER BECAUSE THIS STUPID FANFIC AUTHOR IS ISANE! SHE'S LIKE… A BITCH ON CRACK!"
(The author came bursting into the scene)
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALLED ME!" she screamed, whipping out a fencing sword.
"Umm… Nice sword…?" Sasuke gulped.
"He just called you a bitch on crack." Neji answered lazily, looking at his nails.
The Author glared at Sasuke, who let out a squeak of terror. Suddenly, she smiled, fingering the sword's blade.
"You know, this sword cannot cut people, but it sure can WHIP people… to DEATH."
Sasuke gulped.
The Author went into Offence mode, and advanced toward him.
Naruto nudged Sakura, holding out a bag of popcorn. "Hey, want some popcorn?"
Sakura sweat dropped, and Neji just stared at him. "Naruto, we don't have time for this...shouldn't we be saving Uchiha instead of eating… " But then Naruto turned to him and hold the bag out in front of him. "Oh, what the hell…" and he took the whole bag and sat down next to Naruto and Sakura.
Later…
After 30 minutes of bashing Sasuke, the author glared at the remaining of Sasuke… "BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-chokeHAHAHAHAHAHAcoughHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAdied" Naruto, Neji, and Sakura sweatdropped. Suddenly the Author jumped up." I'm REVIVED! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!taking out a smoke bomb SEEYA, SUCKERS!"throw the bomb onto the ground dramatically and smoke came steaming out everybody coughed and sweat dropped as they watched the smoke slowly disappeared and the Author was still standing there, coughing. "Damn, Plan A, failed… oh well… PLAN B!" she yelled as she jumped onto a sled that appeared out of nowhere was pulled by a pack of Huskies. "SEEYA, SUCKERS!" and she was gone in a poof.
Neji was the first one to recover. "Hell… that author WAS hysteric…" somewhere in distance, a screech was heard "WHO ARE YOU CALLING HYSTERIC?" and a mallet came flying at Neji, knocking him off his feet and fell into the river.
"EEP!" Sakura and Naruto shuddered, "Man, she's scary…" They turned and spotted Sasuke unconscious, and decided to leave him there while they go help Neji hide from his team.
With Tenten-
"ARGHHHH!" Tenten screamed, randomly knocking down trees and buildings. Lee and Gai had disappeared off somewhere, rambling about FLAME of YOUTH and stuff like that. "WHERE THE HELL IS NEJI!" She cried out. Suddenly, Tenten decided to ask for help from Team 7, and ran off toward to Team 7's training ground.
Somewhere at the entrance of KONOHA village-
"Oi, Gaara, what are we doing here again?" Kankarou asked, looking around. Gaara just shrugged as he kept walking. He, the Kaze-Kage, had received an urgent report from the 5th Hokage, and he needed to get to Konoha immediately. 'I wonder what it is…' Gaara thought.
Temari walked lazily behind Gaara, plotting a certain ninja's next torture session mentally in her head. (A/N- cough- aka- Shikamaru- cough)
With team 7-
Naruto and Sakura were helping Neji out of the water, until they felt a murderous presence coming towards them at a really high speed. That could only mean one person.
Tenten.
Naruto grabbed a bamboo stick (A/N- you know… those ones with a hole through the stick… like a straw… ARGH! Forget it…) and propel it into Neji's mouth. Ignoring the protest coming from Neji, Sakura and Naruto shove the poor Hyuuga back into the water again. Neji gurgled, and sank to the bottom of the river with the straw sticking out of his mouth for air.
On the side of the river-
Tenten ran over to Sakura and Naruto, ignoring the crumbled Sasuke lying on the ground. "SAKURA, NARUTO! I NEED YOUR HELP!" She cried, throwing herself at Sakura dramatically (A/N- Not like that, you perverts…) "Can you help me find Neji- Kun? I can't find him anywhere." Tenten begged on her knees.
"Umm….." Sakura and Naruto exchange looks. "Well… sure…."
"REALLY? THANK YOU! I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! JUST TELL ME!" Tenten cried happily.
Naruto and Sakura thought for a moment, and answered at the same time. "Tell us if he," They pointed at Sasuke, "is real or fake." Tenten sweat dropped. "Sure…"
The weapon master ran towards to the unconscious Sasuke and carefully scanned her eyes through him, and she froze as she spotted the pimple. Tenten slowly stood up, facing the other two ninjas. "It's not him." She said.
"AHA! NOW THAT'S OROCHIMARU FOR SURE!"
Tenten sweat dropped.
"Ooookkkeeeyy… can you now help me find Neji?"
"…."
"…."
"Well?"
Sakura and Naruto exchanged a worry glance. They've totally forgotten Neji. Hell… This IS BAD.
Somewhere at the bottom of the river-
Neji sat at the bottom of the river. He's currently suffering from:
1. cold water,
2. floating rocks that happened to hit his head every few seconds,
3. fish…
And finally…
4. ….. he needs to fart.
HE, the Great- O- Mighty Neji Hyuuga, needs to fart. It's very urgent, too. It's not like he's not a human being… right? Human needs to fart in order to live.
'What's taking them so long!' Neji thought frantically, not daring to move, or there will be lots of air bubbles going up to the surface. 'This Hyuuga Neji must not fart…' he thought, feeling sick already.
With Naruto, Tenten, and Sakura -
"All right, here's the plan," Tenten said, taking out a parchment with the map of Konoha Village on it, and a bag of figures.
"First, we taking out 3 figures labeled Naruto, Tenten, Sakura find that Hyuuga taking out a figure that labeled Neji, then we trap him by the bath house Moving the stick figures towards the bath house on the map and then I throw some shurikens at him to pin him on the wall, and…"
"….Tenten?" Naruto asked, raising his hand.
"WHAT?"
"…. I need to…" Naruto mumbled.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"I need to…to…t..to"
"LOUDER! SPEAK UP!" Tenten's losing her patient.
"I need to…. to… to… pee." Naruto managed to cough out the last word, and blushed in embarrassment.
Tenten and Sakura sweatdropped.
"O-K, but don't do it in front of a girl…. Especially two… " Tenten paused. " Go do your business over at that river." Naruto starts to sweat. Sakura nervously starts playing with her finger. "Ano…" Naruto said nervously, and twitched slightly under Tenten's glare.
"Nevermind…" Naruto sighed in defeat.
He forced himself to walk over to the river. 'Pleace forgive me, Neji.'
SOMEWHERE AT THE SOUND VILLAGE-
It was quiet… TOO quiet…
Kabuto twitched slightly at the silence, and walked down the hallway to Orochimaru's bedroom. He raised his hand and was about to knock on the door…
"KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" came a thrilled shriek from Orochimaru himself.
"WHAT HAPPENED? OROCHIMARU-SAMA?" Kabuto practically knocked down the door and burst into Orochimaru's room. "OROCHIMARU-SAMA, ARE YOU OK?" Kabuto began to worried. Orochimaru was kneeling on the ground, and a single page from the PEOPLE magazine was laying on the floor.
"WHY! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BETRAY ME? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?" Orochimaru grabbed Kabuto's collar and shove the paper into his face. "LOOK!" Kabuto rolled his eyes and took the paper. He sat down on the floor and start reading. Ah yes, it was the headline. BRITNEY SPEARS HAD MARRIED ONCE AGAIN!
Kabuto sweat dropped as he finished reading the article, and look up from the paper at Orochimaru. "…."
"WHAT?" Orochimaru asked.
"you…like her?"
"YA! SHE"S THE BEST! OH MY DEAR BRITNEY SPEARS! HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! BUT YOU HAD TO MARRIED TO SOME OLD MAN AT LAS VAGAS! " Orochimaru cried dramatically while Kabuto fall off from his chair. "Oh well, there's more chicks out there, right, Old buddy?" Orochimaru smirk when he heard a faint "I'm not old" coming from Kabuto's crumbled form. "Kabuto?" the sliver hair ninja looked up, " You need to pay me a new door...You just killed my $1,000 door...you know?"
end chapter
A/N - YES! I'M DONE WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER! Go on, just click the buttom below Tell me if you like it or not. FLAMES ARE WELCOME-
