DICLAIMER : "Naruto" does not belong to us. But it would be awesome if he was… especially Sasuke… xD

REMINDER : we don't like yaoi. sometimes… it goes too far… xP… but…other times… its funnnyyyy. purpose: to make fun of every weird random pairing Naruto fans put out.

RAWR

Our story takes place many years later; after Orochi-bastard is killed by the combined forces of the previous Team 7, Itachi dies from deteriorated eyesight causing him to sleepwalk off a cliff and plunge to his death, and our ninjas find themselves in a modern world without the need of super trained shinobis, replaced by sports cars, microwave ovens, computers, high-speed internet services, and access to information, friends, and hentai (eww) at the click of a button.

In the fast developing Fire Country, Konoha still keeps the Ninja Academy to discipline the youth and upholds years of tradition of the line of Hokages.

Yes, Tsunade is still alive, younger than ever due to serious botox and massive amounts of chakra; thus unfortunate for Uzumaki Naruto, preventing his rise to power. Uchiha Sasuke's ambition was ruined by Itachi's freak accident and finally we arrive at the beginning of our tale: two somewhat depressed ninjas seeing an end to their exciting, dangerous, and adventurous lives.

Naruto stood on top of the middle three logs in the training field where they first became genins. Sasuke leaned against the other log as he stared apathetically at the sky.

"How old are we now," Sasuke asked, "what... about 200 years old?"

Naruto dropped down and sat on the wood, swinging his legs back and forth. "And yet, we're 21," Naruto sighed. Then suddenly, he laughed. "We can have sake now datte ba yo!"

Sasuke just rolled his eyes at the blonde's stupidity but secretly thought "ha ha ha ha, sake..."

They caught each other's eyes. Red rose in Sasuke's cheeks, much to his surprise, as he abruptly turned his head away to hide his blushing skin.

Naruto pondered the antics of his best friend but simply ran after Sasuke into a sake bar. He didn't see the tree root hidden under the leaves. At first, Sasuke decided to let him fall but his body took over and made it to Naruto, allowing Naruto to fall on him.

"Gahhhh!" Naruto screamed as he started to fall but was cut off at the presence of warmth on his lips. "What the HELL?" he yelled as he quickly got off of a bright red Sasuke.

"You dobe. Watch where you're going," Sasuke said coolly and half-dreamily as he lay there, still watching the clouds.

"It's not my fucking fault you were there! It was your fault you fucking baka!"

Sasuke just got up and dragged Naruto to the sake bar. "You wanted sake, right?" he said with that sexy smile of his.

Naruto saw his smile and thought "Damn...- ... WAIT! He's a fucking guy! What the fuck am I thinking?" as a light pink blush appeared on his face.

Inside, they sat a safe distance away from each other, quietly stealing looks at each other's lips while quickly hoarding down the alcohol; half trying to erase the feeling of each others skin on their, half trying to remind themselves, they're guys, this is gay.

The bartender, on their fifth bottle, suggested, "Maybe you two had enough."

"Don't tell us when we had enough!" they shouted in unison. They caught each other's gaze again, the Uchiha looking deep into Naruto's blue eyes.

Naruto stood to break the moment, swiftly punched Sasuke in the face, and hurried wobbling away. He muttered, "this is crap, this is crap" over and over under his sake stenched breath.

"That's right!" Naruto proclaimed as he stood a few feet from his apartment. "I... I, sir, am a guy! This is CRAP!" He punched a hole in the wall beside him as if to assure himself of his gender.

His speech started to slur and was promptly stopped by the sight of a drunk, emo Uchiha by his door.

"Naruto, we have to talk." Words of doom.

"Not now, Uchiha! I'M FUCKING DRUNK! Leave me alone..."

"No. Talk. NOW!" Sasuke yelled as he blocked the doorway.

Naruto, being the idiot that he is, looked into Sasuke's eyes. "Fine…we'll talk. Let's go inside." He began to open the door after Sasuke moved out of the way.

Suddenly shy, "…" was all Sasuke could say.

Naruto, remembering Sasuke's timidity, started the conversation to kill the awkward moment. "Oi, baka. What are we talking about? I'm fucking drunk and I want to fucking sleep!"

"…"

"GAH, fucking bastard! I'll just have to talk first! Uchiha Sasuke…I…There's something about you that I can't place…Every time I look into your eyes, I get this warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I don't know what it is, but its driving me fucking crazy. And about that kiss earlier…I-I really…I liked it, okay!" With that, Naruto chugged a sake bottle that just happened to be there.

"…Me…too…" Sasuke just whispered.

"Nani?" Naruto wondered at Sasuke's response.

"I…I liked it too…I get those feelings too…Naruto…I think I love you…There."

"… Damn it."

"What?"

"I think-… I love you too."

When Sasuke began to smile, Naruto quickly shouted, "Just don't tell anyone yet, idiot!"

Naruto continued, "So please, I need to think – alone."

"Okay… fine. I'll go. But remember Naruto, I'm in love with you." Sasuke left with a light pink blush on his face.

Naruto swiftly landed on his couch. "Man, I… like… guys." And he passed out.

OH EM GEE, TEH NEXT DAY.

Naruto, contemplating his inner 'gay' self, was walking to yell at the Godaime for not dying yet, oy, Naruto was promised the job of the Sixth. On the way, he saw a girl around the age of 21 with short, dark blue hair with white eyes. She was kneeling on the ground picking up her fallen groceries, mumbling, "shoot, shoot, shoot…"

"Oi! Hinata-chan! Need some help?"

Hinata's shy response was barely audible. "Hai.."

After they picked up all the groceries, Naruto walked with Hinata back home as he held her bags.

"Arigato," she said thanked timidly. Her heart began to pound as color rose in her face. Even after all this time, even after becoming an extremely awesome-y ninja and facing many A-ranked missions, Hyuuga Hinata was still as shy, quiet, and in love with Naruto then ever.

"No problem datte ba yo," Naruto replied; then added, "You know Hinata, you should try to speak up more, express your feelings. You know, vent it out when you're pissed!"

Hinata's rosy cheeks grew redder. She stood in front of him and looked nervously in front of him and looked up at the blond. "Na- Naruto.." she managed to stumble out. "I-, I have something to tell you then…"

"Nani?"

"Na- Naruto… I- …"

:MEANWHILE :

"Man, where is that dope? I was planning to follow him around…" thought the Uchiha, "oh someone's coming…" He hid in the trees. His went super O.O - wide -when he saw Naruto and Hinata smiling and walking… TOGETHER.

"NARUTO'S MINE! STAY AWAY!" Sasuke yelled as he jumped at Naruto, grabbed him, and ran away.

"SASUKE-TEME! NANDAYO!" Naruto pondered at Sasuke's crimson-filled face.

"Shut up you dobe. I love you, okay? Can't you see that? I can't stand you being all weird with other people. It's just… just… it hurts. It bloody hurts seeing you all emotion with someone else other than me, okay!"

Naruto started laughing. Sasuke glared. "What? Why are laughing, dobe!"

"You're jealous! Sasuke-teme is jealous!"

"Oi, baka, uresei."

"Ah, gomen. Don't worry Sasuke, the only one I have in my eyes is you and you alone."

By then, Sasuke had stopped in front of Naruto's house. Silence succumbed the two as they started to lean into each other. Sasuke's hands ruffled into Naruto's messy hair as Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist. Finally the two's lips were connected, Naruto pushing his tongue forward for acceptance. And Sasuke let him. Their tongues danced together in a passionate kiss only to be broken by Kakashi "walking through" with his gray eyebrows raised.

Their old sensei was now a least 40 years of age (yet still looks as young as he did before, of course). Now, he could turn the Sharingan on and off and, since his scar had finally healed, he didn't have to cover it.

"Naruto, Sasuke, what.. are you two… doing?" he said with one eyebrow raised and wiggling.

"What do you and Iruka-sensei do when no one's around, huh Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto replied with narrowed eyes. Before Naruto could say anything else, the silver-haired ninja (who went back to being ANBU) vanished with a loud POOK! Naruto muttered "I knew it was strange that he was reading less of that book…"

The two 21 year old jounins said their emo good-byes, gave each other a good-bye make-out session and finally went home.

((NEXT DAY ))

"SASUKE-KUUUNN! Happy Birthday!" shouted a familiar pink-haired girl. "I'm taking you drinking, like it or not! " and she dragged Sasuke to a sake bar.

Sakura bought a drink that had the most alcohol (like 50 percent) and cleverly disguised it as a low percent alcohol and gave it to Sasuke.

'Mwahahaha… my plan has already started,' she thought.

Sasuke chugged the bottle. Within one minute he was as drunk as… well we don't really know. But if you've ever seen Sasuke drunk, you've never seen him… REALLY drunk.

"La, la, la, la!" Sasuke SANG as he SKIPPED around the sake bar. "Hey… Saaakuraa… s'hup? … oi… didya know? I dernt like yooo… weee! I'm in love wit dat guy Naroootoh… ehehehe… :) " he sang.

Sakura went O.O and Inner Sakura took over her body and destroyed the sake bar. Shattered glass and broken wood covered the floor.

"HOW COULD YOU? WHY! WHY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And Sasuke ran away – er… skipped away, talking about rainbows, butterflies, and flowers with a cheery grin on his face.

"Naaaroootoh!" Sasuke cheered; his face suddenly popped on the other side of the blonde's window.

"What the hell datte ba yo!" Naruto shouted. "It's still 11! I was sleeping!"

"Naaaroootoh! It a beeeuutiful dayeeee outside! Come, come! Let us go an' skippy under da rainbow, wit da butterflies, among da flowers o' Konohaaaa!" Sasuke swung his legs into Naruto's room and sat dangling his legs gleefully on the ledge.

O.o … Naruto looked at the dark-haired ninja with an unbelieving look. "What did you smoke?"

"Oh Narootoh!" Sasuke said as he jumped and put his arms around him. "Let us gooo drink sake on this dayeee I was born into dis wondrous world!"

Suddenly, Sakura burst into Naruto's apartment with a loud and big bang. Naruto could actually feel the heat emitting from Haruno's veins.

"Na… ru… to…"

Naruto tried to look innocent, which proved incredibly hard with the Uchiha clinging to his neck. "Uh… haii?"

"GET YOUR EFFING HANDS OFF MY SASUKE!"

Naruto quickly turned to Sasuke. "What the HELL sis you tell her DOBE! I told you not to tell anyone!" But Sasuke kept smiling and singing to the invisible butterflies. Sakura rushed over to Naruto who couldn't escape due to Sasuke's grasp. With fires blazing in her eyes, she came within three inches of his face. Tears streamed down her eyes, and as if they took out all the flames, she quickly turned away and slammed out of the room.

"Oh whaaa a day for flyyy-eeee-ing!" Sasuke exclaimed.

SOMEWHERE ELSE

"INOOOOO!" Sasuke screamed as she burst into the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

"Nandayo, Sakura?"

"Sasuke! He… he… HE'S GAY! Wahhh!"

"Oh… Sakura, I'm so sorry…" Ino said. 'I'm gonna kill that bastard for hurting Sakura… grrr.' she thought.

Sakura was pulled into Ino's embrace. 'When… did she care about me? Why… is she so warm? Why do I like being held by het? … am I? … NO! I'm not! Am I?'

"Sakura." She snapped out of her thoughts. "You know that I've stopped liking Sasuke, right? Well.. I know now who I truly love. Sakura, I … I love you."

"Nani? …" thinking 'Sasuke, Ino, Sasuke, Ino, Sasuke… INO!'

"H… Hai. Me too."

And thus this chapter ends with the appearance of three relationships :

Naruto . Sasuke

Kakashi . Iruka

Sakura . Ino

And now onto the others…

xD

gin : my gosh... Sasuke is such a bickering girl in this story... A HA HA HA H XD

ookami : Sasuke is such a hot girl man