Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 and all its characters belong to SquareEnix. No profit is being made from this story.

Warning: This story will contain OOCness, slash, Mary Sues and Gary Stues, angst and wangst, plotholes, illogical crossovers, pointless cameos, bad language, purple prose and a few random in-text AN's.

Chapter warnings: Some OOCness, slash hints, bad language, plotholes.


Chronicles of the fangirl hunters.

Day 1, the gathering.

Reno

I have always thought that it's a strange world we live in. Hell, this is the kind of place where an insane general tries to cause Armageddon by crashing a meteor into our heads. But we dealt with that. Well, perhaps not your truly, but we are still alive.

However, lately weird things has begun to happen again. Split personalities seems to becoming an everyday thing. So is people coming back from the dead.

While we're on the subject of split personalities, well… I'm afraid that I have fallen victim to that myself. One day, I'm about the nicest guy you'd ever meet, the next I'm a raping bastard. Or a weepy fag. I have so many tragic childhood memories, but none of 'em are real.

The worse is still to come though. Earlier today, I had the misfortune of running into two men. One of them fought against me some years ago, during that whole meteor thing, and like me he's an ex-turk. With the difference that he went MIA some thirty years back.

The other guy… well, I never thought I'd see him again, I hoped I wouldn't. Now, I know I mentioned people coming back from the dead. I also mentioned a certain crazed general. Yep, you guessed it, it was Sephiroth himself, with the vampire wannabe Vincent Valentine in tow. I should have tried harder to stop them when they invited themselves into my apartment, but you know… Sephiroth still has that big-ass sword of his.

These people has been hit very hard by the split personality-thing, but at least they have some theories about what's going on. Sephiroth told me that a month earlier, he had woken up in the crater, accompanied by this young girl. He said that he was overcome by loving feelings for her, but suddenly snapped out of it. I had to drag this next part out off him, but it seems that he whole thing ended with his chopping her head off. He really has his way with the ladies, don't he.

After this, he said that he left the crater and went wandering. Eventually, he ended up with Valentine. How I don't know, they both refuse to talk about it.

Back to their theories; they say that all these strange things are caused by a weird kind of magic, somewhat similar to the manipulation ability. Ok, I guess I can buy that. Then they started to talk about voices in the wind. Vincent tried to imitate it, and I swear it was the funniest god damned thing I've ever heard. Stoic ol' Vince clasped his hands together and squealed something about how hot Sephiroth and Cloud looked together. I really thought that Sephiroth was going to kill him.

After I had wiped away my tears of laughter, I had to agree that some of their ideas make sense. I too have heard voices when there's no one around, or when I'm acting strange. Especially when I'm about to sleep with someone I've just met. I don't know why I always do that…

Oh God…

A suppressed memory just surfaced.

How the hell could I have ever thought that sleeping with Cloud Strife was I good idea?


Vincent

Blessed Holy, how did my life end up like this. I thought that after meteor, everything would be fine. We were called 'Heroes of the planet' and no one from AVALANCHE would ever have to worry about money ever again. Me, well, for the first time in my life, I have real friends. Chaos and the other demons have even stopped bothering me as much as they used to.

But now I sit here in a very messy apartment in Costa del Sol, listening to the sadistic laughter of Reno of the Turks. I swear that if he doesn't stop cackling soon, I will rip his throat out! Or bite it perhaps. Nibble lightly, let my tongue run over that smooth skin…

Oh no! Holy, save me! Not again!

We have to put a stop to this evil magic! It makes us all do horrible things.

Sephiroth is staring at me. I'm afraid he might have noticed that. Dear lord…

I guess it is time for me to tell you how I ended up here. Normally, I live in Rocket Town. Next door neighbor to Cid and Shera actually. However, for some strange reason, I often find myself in the ShinRa mansion in Nibelheim. This time, I woke up in my old coffin in the basement, with Sephiroth staring down at me. This caused me to turn into Chaos. When I came to again, he was laying in a bloody heap on the floor. Normally, I would have left him there, or put a bullet between his eyes just to make sure he was dead, but this time… I was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. Well, one thing led to another, and… this is hard for me to confess… I think you can guess what happened, and I really don't feel like giving you any details.

Now, during our… activities… I heard a voice. It sounded female and young and as if it was talking to someone about Sephiroth and myself. Or rather; squealed. I would hate to call that sound talking.

Afterwards, when we had come to our senses and stopped trying to beat each other into a bloody pulp, Sephiroth revealed that he had heard the voice as well. After some discussion, we came to the conclusion that we had been manipulated somehow. What scares me is that it wasn't the first time for either of us. I guess it does explain how I constantly end up in Nibelheim, having sex with either Tifa or Cloud…

As to why I decided to follow him, well, I can't say for sure why. But it seemed like we were on to something about that voice. I became even clearer as we traveled. Every now and then, one of us would fall under the spell, as we like to call it. Since we knew about the voice, we grew very attentive of it. What we concluded was, as crazy as it way sound, that some people take some kind of sadistic pleasure changing us and our world as they see fit. For what purpose we don't know, but they has to be stopped.


Sephiroth

It could be worse, I try to find some comfort in that. In comparison to a blond hedgehog that succeeded in killing me, or perhaps the first leader of AVALANCHE, two former turks isn't that bad. After hearing mine and Valentines theories, it seems that Reno has decided to join us as well. He says that he has suffered his share of manipulation himself.

Then the question is: where do we go from here? My suggestion to investigate the ruins of Midgar has been rejected. I even tried pulling rank to get my way, but Reno in particular just laughed at me. Turks. They have no respect for their superiors.

Valentine just came up with the idea to cross over to Junon. I don't know what he expects to find there. Reno agrees with him, just for the nightlife in Junon I suppose. But since the two of them have decided to impose democracy on our little trio, I guess we're going to Junon.