Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes"
Kelly Clarkson's "Behind These Hazel Eyes"
"I still remember those days. I promised, I wouldn't let him see my tears behind my eyes. I've never been this happy. This guy who snatched all this despair and sadness in me. And now I hate myself of loving such cold, arrogant, cocky and evil guy. I know; you know whom I'm talking about. Everyone here in Hogwarts knows who he is, and our story, that's unfolding. And, how people are amazed, amused, puzzled and been confused by the way we see each other. sigh I guess, it all comes to this... I cost a lot of sin to my family. Such a beautiful disgrace..
Disgrace. My mom was the most enduring and talented wizard in our family. She had the most numbered of suitors and the like. She got everything. And our family adored her so much. Until she met my father, a vampire. Thus, making me a half-wizard and half-vampire... Such strong breed! But it's an abomination to the family. So, my mom was killed as a punishment. And my father? Hunted by Lord Voldemort's death eaters for the power he possessed. Asking me? I was left behind to Professor Snape before my mother died. They are best friends when they're still students. The people who know my family still think that I'm a disgrace to our family. But, Uncle Severus thinks I'm not. He always tries to comfort me with sugarcoated words. I never trust him, neither his comfort nor care to me. Until, I met him. I hated before his guts, his gestures… his smirk! But, I love his icy blue eyes. Seems so mysterious and delightfully irresistible. What the fucking I'm saying! Guess this ends what I think. I think I'm going crazy.
And here I am, hearing voices in my head. Saying that what I'm telling and thinking is totally out of my mind. It might be a product of my childhood experiences, or any traumatic things that happen to me. Who thinks that it's only Harry Potter who has been sleeping in the cupboard? At least, he's in the cupboard and inside a house! How about sleeping out the house? Great, Famous… Harry Potter. I envy him. People love him. And, people hate him too. That part, I understand. People are bothered much of his presence, much of what he can do. Of course! He's the Famous – Harry Potter! Hey! He's nice. I've just having great time with his group – Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley! I just wish I'm a Gryffindor. Oh yes! You're a half-bloodsucker, dimwit! And, it's the obvious factor that you're in the bad side of the world.
Am I really a bad person? Or just where I came from is a bad image in this society? I wonder where's my father. Uncle Severus told me that my father is immortal, and was imprisoned by a death eater inside their house. I want him to tell me who is the death eater who has my father. And, one thing I fear. Will he accept me if he learns I'm a half-vampire? Nah! Hecate! Stop thinking that! At least, you're happy. Right? Or… will this bliss last?
Farewell…
Just I,
Hecate"
