Disclaimer: don't own Trip or Sim or any of the characters they mention. Also the title is from a non-related song but yeah… the phrase isn't mine either.

These Are the Voyages… devastating. Heartbreaking. I rewrote this afterwards to offer some conclusion. This is an alternate version, dissimilar enough from the original that I feel it's allowable to post both.

If I Saw You In Heaven

Alternate Version

He was not ready to die. He was barely in his forties, damnit, he had a hell of a lot of life left to live. But lying in the oxygen chamber, Trip Tucker knew that his life was about to end.

Oh, shit.

At least it wasn't a painful death; the meds were seeing to that. But he was so… restless. Frustrated. This dying-young thing was total bullshit. He was not ready to die. There was so much to do first. Helplessly, he tried to beat his hands against the side of the chamber, but found he couldn't lift them. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound emerged. Y'know how you figured you'd find God at the end of your life? A little voice in his ear whispered. You better find him fast.

Now he felt like crying, and it was getting harder to breath. At least he'd died saving lives, right? That had to count for something. An uncontrollable wave of agony coursed through his body, of grief, regret, things never said. I didn't kiss T'Pol enough. I should've talked to Jon more. I've never told Malcolm how much he means to me, that stubborn old bastard.

Then suddenly, he was warm. It was oddly wonderful, even thought Trip really had no clue what was going on. It was an overwhelming peace, so soothing, so welcoming that he merely drifted off into the Light. Everything negative left his mind, and peace was granted to him in a single instant.

He died.

Heaven wasn't much like he'd read about in books or seen in movies- it wasn't a cloud city, it looked more like the beaches along which he grew up. It looked so much like Florida. Florida, pre-Xindi. The Florida of simpler times. The water was clear and blue and the sand was hot under his feet. It was everything he'd hoped it would be as a little boy in Sunday school.

A wind swirled around him, lifting his shaggy hair around his head and sending whispers running through the air. On the horizon, over the water, shapes approached. Their voices picked up slightly, and Trip caught a few phrases. Most of them were welcoming him, the rest were just saying how much they loved him and how glad they were to be together again. His grandparents, his sister… his daughter. Who would he see first? Tears pricked at his eyes as he realized he left behind a family, but was rejoining another. It was hard to be angry here, and Trip found that he no longer regretted his death. That feeling, just by itself, was heaven.

"Hello," a voice said behind him suddenly. Trip spun quickly and faced- himself? It seemed so, at least- same sandy hair, same inquisitive blue eyes. But there was something different. Breathing slightly, he took a wild guess.

"Sim?"

Trip watched his clone- himself?- nod. "In the flesh, so to speak."

"No offense, but you're the last person I'd expect to be Heaven's welcome wagon chairperson."

Sim grinned- a cocky, half-grin that Trip knew so well. "Yeah. I know."

Trip didn't respond, merely stared and tried not to look rude. Why was Sim- someone he'd never even met face-to-face- delaying him from his reunions, dammit?

"I know you're impatient," Sim said gently. "You're going to see them in a moment."

"What, I have to face my demons first or something?" Trip snapped.

"No. I'm just here to show you the way."

Trip paused. "That's strange."

"You do seem to find yourself in strange situations," Sim commented. "Especially with genetics, have you noticed that? I mean, there's me, there's Elizabeth…"

"Don't you talk about her!" Trip exclaimed. A shadow of the anger returned.

"Relax," Sim told him. "You're in heaven. She's in heaven. You can see her right now."

Trip froze. "I… what?"

Sim stared out at the sea, and waved as though beckoning someone. Trip turned to see who.

His knees went instantly weak. His sister Elizabeth stood before him, her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. A bundle was in her arms.

Trip went to her, kissed her cheek, and accepted the baby from her. His little girl, with his eyes and T'Pol's ears. He hadn't known her for long, but he loved her all the same. Trip felt himself break down crying, felt Lizzie's arms go around his neck and hug him. He looked up at her, meeting her eyes and opening his mouth to speak, but finding that no words were needed.

In that moment, he was perfectly, blissfully happy.

Lizzie grinned. "Your little heroics were kinda stupid, you know that, big brother? But so brave. I missed you, though. Is it selfish of me to be glad you're here?"

Trip smiled back at her. "I'm not offended."

Lizzie looked down at Elizabeth, a reached out to stroke her hair. "I have a niece," she murmured happily. "I can't believe you named her after me."

"I wasn't gonna name her after grandma Gerty," Trip replied quietly, still smiling. The tears falling down his face were tears of pure joy.

"Speaking of Gram," Lizzie said, "are you ready to go?"

Trip wiped the tears from his face and nodded. He was ready; he was so ready. Away from his demons, away from his mistakes. Away from his life, and across the ocean.

"You come too," he told Sim. "They're your family, too, really."

Lizzie smiled, her arm around Trip's waist, and Elizabeth cooed in her father's hold. Sim led them towards the water.

Maybe Trip was okay with this, after all.