Torn – Chapter 1
Luke's Impromptu Engagement
Disclaimer: If I owned these characters, I'm fairly sure that my current financial problems would no longer be considered an issue. Also, a few of the lines of dialog between Rachel and Luke belong to ASP. I have faith that you can discern those from the rest. (Oh, and this fic has nothing to do with the song Torn by Natalie Imbruglia. Whatever happened to her, anyway?)
A/N: Well, this is my second Gilmore Girls fanfic, so if the characters seem a bit OoC, I'm working on it. This is an alternate ending to the Luke/Rachel plot in episode 121, Love, Daises, and Troubadours. In order for this to work, you must understand that, since Rachel didn't actually leave, Luke never came over when Max and Lorelai were about to leave on their date. Therefore, Max never got all possessively jealous and asked Lorelai to marry him, and Lorelai definitely never lost her head in a dream-induced-stupor and agreed to said heinous proposal. In other words, Max is still around, but not engaged to Lorelai. Oh and Dean and Rory did get back together, although that's not important for this series. I might make mention to Dean from time to time, but I don't want to get into the Rory drama. In addition, there's no Jess. As much as I love the hoodlum, his presence would open a whole other can of worms. That said, if anyone is still following me, well, all the power to you, my friend!
"Rachel, come on!"
Luke's heart pounded unmercifully in his chest. This wasn't happening; it could not be happening. He was drawing a complete blank as to what to do or say. Instead, numbly, he watched Rachel leave his life again. Was it once and for all, this time? Did he want that? No, he couldn't want that; he didn't want that. He liked her. A lot. Yeah, he liked her a lot. He wanted to have her around. It was… nice. It was nice and comforting. It was familiar. Having her around was familiar. Talking to Rachel in the mornings, sensing her presence as she worked beside him – that was all comfortably familiar. Even watching her walk out the door and out of his life was familiar, although, in actuality, this time, it was a completely different situation.
For once, she wasn't leaving for her own benefit, but she was leaving because of him. He had caused this rapidly approaching abandonment without even realizing he had done so. Suddenly, he was gripped by panic. Luke didn't want to have that guilt hanging over his head! Besides, it wasn't as if he had a chance with Lorelai. She was, well, Lorelai. And she was dating that teacher from Rory's school – the preppy guy with the phony smile and the constant Lorelai-touching. What was up with that, anyway? Nevertheless, Luke reminded himself as Rachel turned the doorknob, he had no chance with Lorelai; not that he wanted a chance with her. But even if he did, she was madly in love with Max. Plus, Luke wanted Rachel, not Lorelai.
Rachel had paused and, as Luke was brought back, crashing headfirst into reality, he saw her lips form words. He stared blankly for a moment, before registering what she had said.
"So, don't wait too long, okay?"
"To what?" he asked, baffled.
"To tell her."
Luke stared in amazement as Rachel shifted her luggage, almost as if she was giving him a chance to respond. However, his mind was again drawing a complete blank, so she walked out the door without another word, as the bells above jingled merrily in her wake. He continued to stare, watching her retreating figure through the window of his diner. Before he could register it, his legs were dragging him outside and he jogged to catch up with Rachel, grabbing her by the wrist. She hesitated briefly, before turning to face Luke. By the light of the moon and streetlamps, he could just barely make out the tears running down her cheeks. His heart broke just a little bit, as he took in a deep breath and licked his dry lips to speak.
"Don't leave," he said in a strangled tone.
"Luke…"
"No, you don't know what you're saying! No," he repeated, "I don't have feelings for her. I only have feelings for you."
"I want to believe you, Luke, but –"
"Marry me," he blurted out.
Rachel's eyes widened. "What?"
"Marry me," he declared with more certainty.
"Luke, this is crazy. I can't –"
"I'll get you a ring first thing tomorrow morning. I can get down on one knee if you want, but you know how much I hate that fruity stuff, so I'd rather not…"
"Luke."
"Unless you want me to. If you want me to get down on one knee, I'll do it, even though it's ridiculous."
"Luke," she repeated.
"Okay, I'll do it," Luke continued, releasing her wrist and getting down on one knee. "Rachel, ah, this is dumb. No, okay, Rachel –"
"LUKE!"
"What?"
"Get up."
"What?" he asked dumbly.
"Come on, get up." Rachel grabbed his hands and tugged, helping him to his feet. She cocked her head to the side, studying him with a puzzled expression on her face. Luke remained silent the entire time, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage. "Why?" she finally whispered.
"Why what?"
"Why are you asking me to marry you?"
Luke stared at her, his mouth hanging open as he processed the situation. "I – don't know, exactly… I just – it feels right, ya know? It just… feels like something I need to do."
"I see." Rachel paused and licked her lips. She shifted the luggage on her shoulder again, watching him with a slight frown on her face. "I want to believe you…"
He nodded vigorously. "You can believe me."
She sighed, shrugging her shoulders as she did so. For a moment, she silently covered her face with her hands. Luke stared at her expectantly. "Okay, Luke."
"Okay?" he repeated blankly.
"Yes." She paused, struggling, as he watched her curiously. "I'll… marry you."
He exhaled loudly. "Good. That's, uh, good. You know that I'm not lying. I really only have feelings for –"
"I know," she replied quietly, looking down at the pavement.
He paused for a moment, regarding her with a furrowed brow. When she didn't add anything more, Luke said, "Good. Ah, let's get back, okay?"
Rachel nodded as Luke took the duffle bag from her, guiding her back to his apartment. Although Rachel had said yes to his marriage proposal, he could not fight off the nervous energy that filtered through his veins. It was a lot to take in. Hell, he had just been worried about her moving the milk and now, there he was, engaged. It was insane! And yet, it was okay – at that moment, anyway. Tonight, he wouldn't think about anything except keeping Rachel close to him. Tonight, he would celebrate.
They reached the diner and Luke dumped her bags on the floor beside the door, before locking it. He then turned to her. She was smiling nervously at him, and he smiled back, blushing slightly. Yes, he decided; tonight, he would celebrate. There would be plenty of time to contemplate his bout of insanity tomorrow.
The next morning, Lorelai shrugged off her light jacket as she took a seat at the counter of Luke's Diner. She let her head slump down as she stared at the countertop. She was exhausted and definitely regretting her choice to stay up until 2 AM talking to Max on the phone after he'd returned home from the town meeting last night. She had attempted to get off hours earlier, but every time she tried, he would say something persuasive enough to convince her stay just a little while longer. Lorelai sighed, lifting her head slightly and looking around the room curiously. When she didn't spot Luke, a slight crease appeared on her forehead and she pouted a bit; she wanted her coffee! This is like the twilight zone or something, she thought to herself, standing up slightly to catch a glimpse of the kitchen. Still no Luke. This was very weird, indeed. Luke never missed the breakfast rush. Suddenly, Caesar bustled out of the kitchen with four plates balanced haphazardly on his arms, and he placed them down at various tables. Lorelai attempted to get his attention, but he just retreated to the kitchen without a second glance. She sighed and let her head drop to the counter again.
The bells above the door jingled as another customer walked inside. Lorelai was aware of someone standing behind her, but she was too tired to move. "'Mornin', Hun."
Slowly, Lorelai lifted her head and smiled weakly at Miss Patty. "Hey, Patty. How are you?"
"Oh, I'm doing fine," she replied distractedly. "But boy, do I have some gossip for you!"
Lorelai perked up slightly. "Do you?"
"Oh yes. Very juicy gossip."
"Do tell!"
"Well, you know Luke…"
"Stubbly-chinned man that's having an affair with flannel? I think I've seen him around before…"
"Well, you're not going to believe what he did this morning…"
"Joined the Navy?"
"I wish." She paused in a pensive daze for a moment, as Lorelai looked on, amused. "He bought an engagement ring!"
Lorelai thought Patty was going to tell her that Luke finally kicked Kirk out of the diner or stole Taylor's Revolutionary War hat. Instead, she felt as if someone had dropped a few tons of bricks onto her head. She had not been expecting to hear that Luke bought an engagement ring! "What?"
"Yes, I spotted him and Rachel leaving the jewelry store - fourteen carat, three diamonds!" exclaimed Patty approvingly. Lorelai began to laugh. At first, it was just a subdued giggle, but it quickly gave way to a fit of uncontrollable, hysterical laughter. Patty watched Lorelai with a puzzled look on her face. She frowned slightly and placed a sympathetic hand on Lorelai's shoulder. "Are you okay, Dear?"
"What?" she asked, a hint of laughter still present in her tone. "Of course I'm okay. I'm just laughing at the thought of Luke getting hitched! I mean, who would've thought?" She cocked her head to the side suspiciously. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"
"Well, no reason in particular," replied Patty carefully. "It's just, you and Luke have that… thing."
"Right." Lorelai paused. "What thing?"
"Well, you two are close."
"Yes…"
"And well, there's always been that… thing."
"Right," she replied skeptically, "we covered the thing."
Patty sighed. "Never you mind, Lorelai."
"Okay…"
"I'm gonna go," she pointed to a table behind her, "sit over there. I didn't mean to offend you…"
"I'm not offended." Off Patty's skeptical look, Lorelai added, "Really, I'm not. Thanks for letting me know."
Patty nodded and slowly made her way to the table. Lorelai watched vacantly for a few moments, before turning her attention toward the stairs to Luke's apartment. Luke was going to get married? It couldn't be true, it just couldn't! It's Luke! She said to herself. It was pretty ridiculous to picture Luke married. After all, he had just spent the past few days hiding from Rachel at Lorelai's house. And true, Lorelai had advised him to go back and make things better with Rachel, but surely he couldn't have taken her advice to mean get married… could he have?
No, Lorelai told herself forcefully. Luke would never get married without contemplating it first. Yes, once in a while Luke could hastily jump to certain conclusions when enraged, but, in general, he wasn't an irrational man. He wouldn't have just asked Rachel to marry him on a whim. He would have taken time to think about the repercussions; perhaps even time to discuss the decision with someone close to him, like herself… wouldn't he have? After all, they were friends. Good friends, even. Surely, he would have at least hinted to it…
Lorelai was jolted from her thoughts when she heard heavy footsteps on the apartment stairs. She exhaled loudly and tapped her fingers against the counter, pretending to merely be waiting impatiently for coffee. She looked up, giving Luke her best 'desperate for coffee' stare, and watched as he passed behind the counter and entered the kitchen. She waited, lifting herself off the stool just a tad in order to get a better view of the kitchen. Luke piled scrambled eggs onto a single plate, grabbed two slices of wheat bread, and quickly bustled through the diner and back up to his apartment. Lorelai frowned at his apparent loss of interest in his business, biting her bottom lip anxiously as she strained her ears to hear any sounds from the apartment overhead.
After a minute of hearing nothing, she covered her face with her hands and sighed heavily. She was being silly! Sure, she was a bit hurt that Luke didn't tell her about his engagement – that was, if it was actually true (Miss Patty was only usually right about these things, not always) – but this reaction of hers was bordering 'selfish Lorelai' territory. Okay, she reminded herself, this is his life, not mine. I just have to give him space. She nodded slightly at that revelation, realizing that it really did make sense. However, she couldn't quite get rid of that nagging feeling that she really should be upset about the whole situation, especially Luke's lack of detail-sharing.
Lorelai had become so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed Rory enter the diner until she heard her daughter call to her.
She blinked a few times at Rory before answering with a distracted, "Hmm?"
"Is everything okay?"
"What? Of course everything's okay."
"Okay," replied Rory skeptically. She paused. "How long have you been here?"
"I dunno, ten minutes?"
"Where's your coffee?"
Lorelai scowled. "Didn't get any."
"What?"
"Yeah, Luke's been up there -" she pointed at the ceiling -"the entire time."
"Oh my God, he wasn't downstairs for the morning rush?" questioned Rory, outraged.
"No! Well, he came down for a minute, grabbed a plate of food, and went back up again without saying anything to anyone! I really want some coffee, damnit! Stupid diner man," she grumbled as an afterthought, before going behind the counter to pour herself and Rory some coffee.
"Wow. I don't think I remember a morning without Luke being down here."
"Yeah," agreed Lorelai with a sigh, "me neither."
"What do you think this means?"
Lorelai swallowed hard and forced herself to meet her daughter's eyes. "That things are going to be very different now."
"Well…" said Rory hesitantly, "maybe it's just a one-time thing. Maybe Luke's feeling sick or something."
"Yeah," Lorelai agreed distractedly, glancing at the apartment stairs again. "That's got to be it." However, Lorelai struggled futilely to ignore the incessant voice in the back of her mind that was screaming just the opposite.
TBC…?
A/N: I promise this won't be like Luke and Nicole's marriage. For one thing, I actually like Rachel. Gasp, I know, I'm a traitor. I like Lorelai more though! A review to let me know if this is worth continuing to post would be nice. Thank you for reading! (Oh, if you know anything about the book Candide by Voltaire, especially anything involving the types of satire, and want to write an essay for me, I will love you forever! Just kidding… maybe.)
