The Bachelor Party
Chapter 2
A Tales of Phantasia Fanfiction By Cremrock
Brief ultra small foreword: Thanks to any who read, and many thanks to those who reviewed, whether it was this chapter, a previous one, or what have you. Enjoy! With any luck Chapter 3 and the Epilogue will arrive sooner than this did…
Elwyn was in hell. But unlike the personal hell he'd been driving himself into, he found that the one he was in presently was much more of the immediate type of discomfort, unlike the self-inflicting funk he'd been driving himself into over the loss of his wedding rings.
Onehell took the form of his friends, his guests, and generally anyone who might be watching. His closer friends looked away, ashamed to let their friend see the smiles on their face, but some of his "Friends" couldn't help laughing, while others shook their heads as if in disgust, though their grins betrayed their intent.
The other was the anguish he felt at having lost the wedding rings, and the fear of what that meant.
Of course, there was no such thing as two hells, and as one might have guessed, the two hells; the immediate, and the lingering, were connected. They were connected almost as firmly as the band of cloth that connected his left foot to the right foot of the only man who could deliver him.
Elwyn could have removed that cloth and ended the torment that way. It would result in disqualification of himself and his partner, and he would've seriously considered that… But that would leave his partner to be teased and tormented himself, bereft of the protection only Elwyn could bestow, the only person everyone at the party knew and the only one that everyone knew wouldn't take it too personally.
Elwyn was unwilling to sacrifice his personal principles or his friend for the result of a quick escape; and so he grasped Cless Alvein by the arms, trying again to pull him to his feet, to will him across the finish line, despite the fact that Elwyn was certain they already had the worst race time in the party; maybe in all existence. His physical effort proving ineffective, he found his voice above the din of the heckling race-watchers.
"Come on, Cless! Please? You can do it… We're almost to the finish line…"
"Can't…" Cless whimpered, his face ruddy from the exertion and what he'd had to drink earlier. He didn't really seem to be aware of what was going on.
"Please? I know you can do this, Cless…" Elwyn tried again, trying to mentally will Cless the next five feet over the finish line. He'd tried dragging Cless, but Cless was like a stone, outweighing Elwyn by a good fifty pounds, and wasn't willing to be dragged along besides.
"I'm sorry…" Cless murmured, and it all came together for Elwyn then; Cless's expression, the way he'd labored throughout the race, the way he smelled, and most notably the way that he'd gotten it all wrong every time he'd tried to take a step in sync with Elwyn.
Elwyn looked around helplessly, and some of his closer friends waved at him as if to urge him to disqualify himself, or to throw in the towel. Most everyone else was being thoroughly entertained by the ordeal, with faces as red as that of Cless', though those were red from laughter.
Groaning, Elwyn did the only thing he could think of. He reached down, (A collective sigh came among the laughter, as they thought he was removing the cloth that joined him with Cless and thereby ending the farce) and pulled Cless to his feet, supporting him with one shoulder. He then threw himself over the finish line, bringing Cless along for the ride and ending the ordeal. He untied the cloth band and lay on the ground in a bitter, defeated heap.
As the judge read off the time, Elwyn found that he was shocked. He'd figured they'd taken at least 200 seconds, but had only clocked in at a not quite as bad but still horrible 189 seconds, as the average finishing time before their race had been 45 seconds. Weary, he sat up and looked around at the spectators, his friends, his guests.
Not one of them moved, until one man, and then another, and another, began clapping in mock amazement. Rolling his eyes as the entire crowd followed suit, Elwyn stopped to reflect what this stinging defeat meant for him. Naturally, he overreacted. He'd lost the race, and therefore lost any chance he thought he had at getting new wedding rings, and thought about the consequences of how this would affect his relationship with Nancy. He envisioned a million and one situations; all of them horrible, the wedding being postponed, Nancy being angry, Nancy hating him, Nancy breaking up their relationship. If Elwyn had actually stopped to contemplate the down-to-earth goodness of the person he was marrying, would probably have led him to realize that Nancy wouldn't have cared about the rings much anyway. But in his state the one thought that could have saved him was the furthest thing from his mind; the party had to go on, Elwyn reminded himself. He heard the clearing of a throat, and looked up to find Klarth F. Lester standing in front of him, one hand extended to help him up. Klarth was grinning, as if he'd noticed Elwyn's sour face and was trying to snap him out of his mood. The reality was that Klarth was trying very hard not to laugh, but he wasn't the kind to kick a man when he was down and after watching the latter portion of the race, figured that Elwyn had suffered enough already.
"There's the lucky bachelor! Why the glum face, um… Elwyn, was it?"
Elwyn took the hand, allowed Klarth to help him to his feet, and managed a weak smile he didn't feel.
"I was just thinking about my fiancé, Mr…"
Klarth didn't miss a beat; though he cast a wary eye past Elwyn to make sure Cless was all right. Cless was on the floor, lying there like a stone, but he was blinking and moving his arms around, so Klarth figured he would be fine for the moment.
"Lester. Thanks for finding Cless for me; he had a little bit of an accident… And now he's not quite himself." Klarth snorted, elbowing Elwyn in the ribs good-naturedly. "As if you hadn't noticed already, eh? I hope you're not too angry with him… He and I both really appreciate this party you've thrown."
Elwyn cast a glance over his shoulder at Cless. A part of him wanted to snap at him, blame all his problems on the swordsman, but Elwyn was the responsible sort. He'd lost the rings, and Cless had been the one to help him by running the race with him… even though it was clear to Elwyn that Cless didn't have any business running a race in his condition.
And so, the bachelor continued his falsehood with the same weak smile. "No… it's all right. I didn't think he was the kind to drink much, though. At least, not before racing… you know."
Klarth chuckled. "It was really more of an accident… let's just leave it as our little secret, okay?" Klarth narrowed his eyes "And cheer up! It's just a race. No need to look like you've lost the world, or something! Why, I can see it in your eyes."
"Thanks for the sentiment… It's just that… What the heck?"
Elwyn's voice trailed off as he saw two new guests enter. Apparently his dad knew a lot more people than he'd thought. These two were some of the weirdest he'd seen yet.
"What?" Klarth asked, turning to look at the entrance, spying the two new guests himself. Before frowning. "They look… odd."
The first looked entirely too large to be a normal man; clad in armor, black tights, and a huge red cloak that concealed a sizable hunch in the man's back. He walked with the gait of a man that had probably broken a leg or three in his lifetime, and Elwyn wondered if he was an old war veteran or merely a mercenary his dad had once employed to protect his shipping from pirates. The other man appeared to be aristocratic; he had on a black coat and pants, and a white shirt that Elwyn thought could very well have come out of his own wardrobe. If he'd stopped to think about it, he would have realized they looked rather effeminate, but as a businessman, Elwyn was used to dealing with all kinds of odd-looking people, so he didn't give it much thought.
"Must be more guests of my fathers'…" Elwyn muttered off-handedly, wondering why these two were so late. "If you'll excuse me, Mr. Lester, I'd better go greet them…" Elwyn started towards the entrance.
"No problem." Klarth shouted in his direction. "Remember to try not to look so bad… it's your party, after all! See you later. And thanks for finding Cless for me!"
Elwyn only raised a hand in reply, though Klarth heard him mutter, "I wish it was her…" Klarth wondered if Elwyn's problems extended beyond losing a simple race. Klarth didn't know the half of it, wondering if Cless would know, or if he would be sufficiently recovered to give out that knowledge. Klarth knew well enough to stay out of that kind of business, but his curiosity would've gotten the better of him if he didn't at least have an inkling of what was going on. He watched the two new guests curiously for another moment, even though he wasn't sure he could trust his eyes since the two were so far away. Something about the armor and cloak the one was wearing looked terribly familiar, and when he scanned the face, he thought he recognized the eyes… But he'd never placed those eyes with that outfit, so he shrugged it off.
"Cless, how are you feeling? Do you know what's bothering Elwyn?" Klarth asked matter-of-factly, his back still pointed where Cless had been lying. He received no response. "Cless?" Klarth whirled around, only to find that while he had been talking to Elwyn, Cless had sauntered off again. "Damn it!"
Klarth would have loved to spend more time placing the eyes of that newcomer, or trying to figure out what was bothering Elwyn, but his priorities immediately shifted back towards finding Cless.
Ironically, without even knowing it, Klarth and Elwyn's situations had changed immensely with the addition of the two guests. Elwyn's chances of resolving his problem in a satisfactory manner had just increased tenfold… while Klarth's chances of concealing Cless's condition took a drastic swing downward. Neither of them had any idea their fortunes were about to change… But such was life.
Had anyone been distanced from their reveling to notice, they would have seen a sight rivaling the absurdity of Cless's racing exploits on the other side of the room. One of the new guests seemed to be having a problem with his (her!) outfit, as his bright red cloak kept flowing in a very unnatural manner.
Naturally, there was a good reason for this, as the wearer of the cloak was Mint Adnade. The problem was that Arche Klaine was hiding UNDER the cloak, and crawling behind Mint. The disguise had nearly been ruined several times already, as the two girls had been having communication problems. Arche would bes resting on the cloak as Mint would move, or Arche would move before Mint did, thinking the healer was ready. Had anyone known what was going on and been able to appreciate it, it would have been sheer comedy.
Nancy had been their saving grace, as she managed the duo with patient understanding. Being the only bystander Mint and Arche had to point out when there was a gap in the disguise, she kept moving deftly around to cover the gap, lest one of the guests see the third "guest" peeking out from under the cloak. To Mint and Arche's credit they remaining patient, but Nancy got the sense that something was going to give soon.
For the third time in the past few minutes, Nancy whispered, "Don't move!" to Mint, nudging a fold out of Mint's cloak with her shoe and pretending to drop a coin so that she could check on Arche as she bent to retrieve it. She took comfort in the fact that no one had noticed the disguise yet. She lifted the cloak up and peeked under, trying not to let exasperation creep into her voice or taint her 'everything is fine up here' smile. "Are you all right under there, Arche?"
The half-elf's hair was plastered to her forehead, and whether her skin was red with aggravation or heat, Nancy couldn't tell. Suffice to say, Arche had quickly discovered what a bad plan it had been to go with the cloak. Cless's cloak was made of wool, which would have proven quite snuggly if the conditions were right and it was cold inside. They weren't.
"Can I have a drink? Please?" Arche's, voice was weak, as if she might faint at any second. It was two-thirds truth and one-third acting, but Nancy bought it, her heart going out to Arche, who truly looked miserable. Not to mention that if Arche fainted, their cover would be completely and irrevocably shot.
"We'll go to the food tables first thing, okay? Mint feels really bad about this… She thinks you should get out from under here when we can do it without attracting suspicion."
Arche's only response was to nod. Perspective and suffering changed everything; she still didn't want to be seen in Klarth's outfit, but ANYTHING had to be better than the awful heat. She was about to wave Nancy away when her sensitive ears picked up Mint whispering something desperately, hoping to get Nancy's attention. Nancy couldn't hear it over the din, and Mint didn't dare speak louder for reasons which were suddenly clear to Arche but unclear to Nancy. The witch's eyes widened as she heard Mint repeat the plea, and she shut her mouth, worried that someone would hear her if she warned Nancy verbally. Hoping that Nancy would get the hint, she swung her chin upward and pointed. All she accomplished was pointing at Mint's rear, still clad in Cless's black tights (The most revealing thing Mint had ever worn in her lifetime, and that probably included her birthday suit), but Nancy got the sense that something was amiss.
"What is it?" Nancy whispered sharply, and Arche grabbed the sides of her own face and pulled, trying to make her face look more manlike. Unfortunately, Nancy had never played charades before. Wincing, Arche pointed up and mouthed a single, two-syllable word that Nancy failed to interpret. Arche was getting frustrated enough to start screaming out a few choice monosyllabic words. The exertion made her face turn even redder, and Nancy half expected to see steam coming out of Arche's ears.
"Funny? This is no time to be funny, Arche…" Nancy began. Arche was out of options. She reached out, grabbed Nancy's nose, and smashed her face up against her own.
"ELWYN!" Arche whispered fiercely, and finally Nancy understood. Despite her lack of training in the not so subtle arts of somatic innuendo, the gal possessed quick reflexes. She got out from under that cloak and leapt to her feet just in time to see her future husband closing towards her and Mint. His face was a mask of confusion, but Nancy thought him even more handsome than she remembered him being earlier in the day. He was dressed in his best after all. She just hoped he wouldn't recognize her in his second best. He smiled as he approached, but Nancy knew enough about the smile to tell that he was just being polite at this point. The distant look in his eyes told her that he was practically running on autopilot, his mind engaged with other matters.
"Welcome to my bachelor party… is there something I can help the two of you with?" Elwyn extended a hand, and Mint clasped it. Their arms pumped slightly, but Mint's handshake was anything but firm. An awkward smile creased her face as she opened her mouth to speak, but blush came to her cheeks instead.
"Thank you!" She blurted out brightly, catching herself in all ways but one: She'd forgotten to change her voice. Elwyn's eyes shot open in confusion, thinking he'd heard the unexpectedly feminine voice before. Once again Nancy came to the rescue, trying to speak gruffly.
"He had an accident in the war… And lost his… well… Y'know…" Nancy's voice trailed off, and she glanced away as if it were something Mint would rather not talk about.
…"Vocal chords?" Elwyn asked, trying to spare the guest's feelings, and Nancy shook her head and indicated that she would really rather not talk about it.
Realizing what body part Nancy was referring to, Mint suddenly turned bright red. To her credit, she drooped her head and glanced in the other direction, and suddenly became very busy in wrapping the cloak around herself, as if she wanted to avoid this line of conversation. In reality it was to hide the fact that another set of ears had caught Nancy's words, and now a part of the cloak was quivering up and down as if someone under it was trying very hard not to laugh. It was all Mint could do to tighten it so Arche wouldn't be given away.
"He's rather sensitive about it, as anyone would be… Don't let anyone know, okay? He's usually good at hiding it, Elwyn… He's been practicing his voices, but something he gets excited and forgets." Nancy whispered to him. Elwyn understood, his years of etiquette training shining through, but then he realized that he hadn't told these two guests his name yet.
"How do you know my name?" He asked Nancy, curious. He sure didn't recognize either of these two guests.
It was time for Nancy's eyes to widen in shock, completing the set originally begun by Elwyn himself. Mint picked up the ball and ran with it, deepening her voice this time. It sounded fake, but that fit Nancy's story, so Elwyn let it slide.
"We knew you when you were very little… Your father played cards with us back in the… old days." Mint felt terrible to be lying, but she'd had to come to terms with it to pull off the deception in the first place. It was to find Cless and keep him from getting into trouble, so it was for the greater good, right?
If Elwyn noticed any of Mint's personal agony he didn't let on. In actuality, he'd figured that these two were odd enough and wanted to get away from them, the better to go in a corner somewhere and contemplate his misery. His voice drier than his mouth if he'd eaten twenty crackers, he muttered his apologies.
"Right. I'm sorry I didn't remember you two. I'd better get going now… Things aren't going as well at this party as I would like. Please enjoy yourselves and don't hesitate to ask someone if you need anything."
He smiled at them half-heartedly and turned partially away, before gazing at Nancy for a moment, thinking he recognized the eyes. Nancy stared back, worry creasing her face, before Elwyn shook his head and murmured an apology.
"Sorry. Your eyes reminded me of someone… which I find very odd… It's been a long night. Again, enjoy the party." His voice sounded quite a bit sadder than it had a bit ago, and he made no effort to hide it as he sauntered away.
Mint watched him go and spoke Nancy's thoughts out loud, displaying her incredible knack for recounting the obvious. "Something's bothering him… What do you think it is, Nancy?"
Nancy shrugged, putting a slender hand to her chin and contemplating before coming up empty. "I don't know… I'm going to find out as soon as I can, though. At least he didn't recognize us… Let's go get some food and see if we can figure it out there. We still need to check on Cless, and I'll be able to keep a better eye on Elwyn from there. Besides… Poor Arche is probably still dying under that cloak."
Mint smiled, trying to be reassuring. "I'm sure Elwyn is fine… We'll get to the bottom of it. Will you tell Arche we're moving now?"
Nancy nodded, tapped the cloak, dropped yet another coin, and bent down, peeking under again.
"We're moving again, Arche."
"Yay." Arche replied, tapping a hand on the floor and looking bored. "Good cover up on Mint's… um…" She grinned slyly. "Affliction. Byyyyyyyyy the way…" She said cajolingly, smiling with hidden knowledge. "If you're wondering what Elwyn's so upset about, it has something to do with you… he was muttering 'I wish Nancy were here' while he was walking away. Kinda cute, I suppose. Might help you solve your little mystery…"
"Really? That's sweet of him… thanks, Arche! I wonder if he thinks I can help or something… We always tackled our problems together before, maybe he needs that now!
Arche pressed two fingers together, looking around sheepishly. Though the witch had a good deal more common sense than she often let on, this wasn't her forte.
"Riiiiiiiiight… We'd better get a move on, Nancy. If people see you looking under here so much, they're going to expect something is up." Arche's stomach growled suddenly, and Nancy got the point, standing back up.
"She's ready to go." Nancy said, and Mint smiled in reply. The three began picking their way to the food tables, Mint walking as if someone had wrapped their hands around her ankles… Someone had. At the mention of food, Arche was taking no chances this time…
The trio made it to the tables a moment later without problems, unaware that Klarth was trying to track Cless down on the other side of the room. Naturally, since they'd done a good job avoiding problems so far Murphy's Law stated that there would be a problem when they got there. There was, this one taking the form of the fattest, most obnoxious guest of the party. He sneered at the two of them as they approached, having arrived at the party late himself, and was now monopolizing the entire food table. Nancy recognized him immediately as Elwyn's childhood 'friend', Gurk.
Mint didn't see him as a problem, clumsily walking up next to him and tapping him on the shoulder, with a smile as sweet as honey gracing her face. Nancy reminded herself that she'd have to tell Mint to smile less, or smile more gruffly, or smile with teeth, or SOMETHING. That smile of hers was beautiful, but it looked too feminine for a façade like this!
"Um… Excuse me, sir." Mint asked. Gurk didn't even acknowledge her, focusing on devouring a particularly delectable looking piece of cake. Mint realized that he had left a piece of cake and was eating the REST of it. His maw alone was enormous!
Confused, because manners and politeness were always Mint's best policy, she looked up at him and tried again. Somehow that smile's sweetness went from honey to something resembling the contents of a city block sized bakery. Nancy thought it looked like Mint's face might explode with joy, and realized she'd have to ask Mint where she'd learned to smile so kindly.
"Excuse me… Could my friend and I get some food? We're very hungry, and it looks like there's plenty to go around…"
Gurk's only reply was to shift to the left slightly as if to allow her room. Nancy noticed the evil grin that spread across Gurk's face, even as Mint grabbed a plate and began filling it with everything she thought Arche would want, starting with a salad, adding a well-done piece of veal, and finally going for the last piece of cake. Gurk's hand slammed down, trapping her wrist inches from the cake, causing Mint to cry out in pain, a tear rimming her left eye. She looked up to find Gurk staring down at her, even as she put the plate down and clutched her wringed wrist.
"Why… why did you do that?" Mint asked, not understanding the problem. Gurk chuckled at Mint's tear, reveling in the fact that he could still boss people his own age around, and drive grown men (Or so he thought,) to tears. What he failed to notice was the terrible wrath that was awaiting him, or the look of pure rage in Nancy's eyes. Under the cloak, Arche was burning red too, and this time the temperature wasn't a factor at all.
He shrugged matter-of-factly, harshness creeping into his tone and mannerisms as he glared down at her. "That's mine. You've got enough, fatty. A big strong man like me needs his sweets. Look at you… you're practically crying. I'm the groom's best friend… I can do whatever I want. Get out of here or I'll tell everyone what a baby you are."
"That's not what HE would say," Nancy yelled, butting into the conversation and stepping forward protectively in front of Mint, forgetting that she wasn't supposed to know Elwyn for the moment. Elwyn had always told her what a beast Gurk had been to him when he was little, and the day Elwyn had introduced Gurk to her had been one of the worst of both their lives. Elwyn had been polite then, allowing Gurk to bully him around, but forbidding Nancy to inflict the punishment that so desperately needed to be shown this one. Elwyn wasn't one to hold grudges, but Nancy knew the pain Gurk had inflicted on her fiancé as a boy, and she wasn't about to let him do the same to anyone else. Especially when no one would know that she was the one doing it…
"Nancy… Let's not worry about this, he'll leave soon…" Mint whispered meekly, rolling her wrist around to see if it was all right. It was only a mild sprain, but her grimace only incited Nancy to higher peaks of rage. Confrontation wasn't really Mint's thing, but Nancy wouldn't be swayed, rearing up to her fully unimpressive 5'6 height. Gurk towered over her, but it was more a result of fat than an excess of height, as the measurer would've been generous indeed if he said Gurk was over six feet. (Gurk had forced that, too.
"Who do you think you are?" Nancy shouted, poking a finger into his chest and watching as his nostrils flared in reply. "This is a party; you shouldn't go throwing yourself around, you big blob! You hurt my friend!" Gurk was at a loss for words for a moment; no one had ever bothered to defy him before.
The silence ended quickly, as Gurk decided to do what came naturally. "BLOB? BLOB? I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!" He shrieked, his voice at a much higher-pitch than could be expected. Thrusting his hips forward, he used his girth to full advantage, belly bouncing Nancy. She fell backwards and landed on her tailbone with a thud. Her groan belied her pain, but not her toughness, and she was back on her feet in a minute, rolling up her sleeves as if she was actually going to fight Gurk right then and there.
Mint tried to step in between them,.and got knocked down for her trouble, crying out in pain as she broke her momentum with the same wrist she'd sprained earlier. Miraculously, the cloak remained over Arche, even though Mint landed on top of her.
In truth, the landing was probably a good thing, for if Arche hadn't been held down by Mint's weight at that moment, she would probably have jumped out from under the cloak. It wasn't enough that Gurk was impeding their path to food, but he'd hurt Mint. Like Nancy, Arche simply wouldn't let that stand.
"I'LL SQUASH YOU BOTH LIKE BUGS FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!" He knocked Nancy down again and raising an oblong, distended foot to step on the girls, while some of the other guests watched the spectacle in horror. The party's lone guard was making his way to the table as quickly as he could, but there was no way he was going to make it in time…
Those guests failed to notice a hand emerge from the cloak to grab Gurk's foot before he stamped downward. A flash of fire occupied the slim space between hand and foot, and a moment later Gurk was hopping around screaming in pain. Arche took advantage of the chaos to scurry under the table, hoping that Nancy would do the rest.
"Cannonball!" Nancy screamed, getting to her feet, and charging right into Gurk's gut. She'd always had a good sense of balance as a little girl, and back in the days while she'd been living in Euclid, some of her most entertaining moments had been when she'd tumble up and down the hills all day long.
Already off-balance, the impact sent Gurk tumbling to the ground with a loud crash, and his head grazed the table, knocking him out cold. Nancy dusted off her hands as she rose to her feet. Underneath the table, Arche was dusting her hands off as well, but that was in anticipation of a meal.
"Are you all right, Mint?" Nancy whispered, and Mint nodded gamely, rotating her wrist a few times to show that it still worked and rising to her feet.
Around the fallen Gurk, some of the guests whistled, and a few applauded, having wanted to dine at the food table themselves but having been turned away by the fat oaf each time. Finally making his way to the table, the lone guard came up and looked at Nancy with a stern look on his face.
"What happened here?" He asked sternly. Sternness was really the only emotion he seemed capable of displaying. It was a guard thing.
"He had a little too much to drink, and tried to start a fight…" Nancy lied smoothly, not wanting to implicate Gurkany more than necessary despite the hatred shecurrently held for the man."I defended myself, and he passed out… He was really being disruptive."
The guard nodded (Sternly, as one might guess), and hauled Gurk away single-handedly. He'd have put up more of an investigation, except that he'd received complaints about this one all evening and had been quite eager for a reason to kick the man out. Mint and Nancy both rolled their eyes as a familiar voice under the table squeaked, "Oooooooh, he's pretty strong…" And it was easy to imagine that the guard's rippling muscles were being observed by one pink-haired half-elf.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Arche." Nancy murmured, glad that none of the guests had the wherewithal to look under the table. Mint walked up beside the table, glanced around to see if anyone was looking, and smoothly slid the plate she'd prepared under it. There was a pause, and a moment later Mint and Nancy both felt something tugging on their legs. The jumped in surprise for a moment, before looking around and trying to act casual.
"What is it?" They both whispered.
"Something to drink?" Arche asked in hushed tones, while Mint and Nancy tried to cover up the discrepancy in voices by pretending to talk to one another. Mint felt as though she was out of the woods at last; her disguise would be much easier to maintain if Arche wasn't trailing behind her. Nancy slid a goblet of fine wine under the table; Mint a glass of flavored, bubbling water. It didn't take a rocket scientist for Arche to figure out who had given her what, but she thanked them both just the same.
"I'm going to stay here for a bit and relax… Soak up the party… You two can search for Cless just as well without me, right? I've got what I came for… So far… Mint's okay right?" Arche said; her voice clipped as if in-between bites of food.
"Yes, I'm fine, and that sounds good, Arche… Do you want me to come back for you?" Mint asked. Arche shrugged, a whimsical, contented smile etched onto her face.
"Stop by… If I'm not here, I was either able to stomach these clothes or I had to move to not be discovered… It doesn't matter to me. And have fun! Live a little, Mint! I'll come save you if that oaf comes back." Arche's hand patted her lightly on the ankle, and Mint smiled in reply, even though Arche couldn't see it.
"I will…" She whispered, before turning back to Nancy. "Let's go find Cless and Elwyn again, okay Nancy? And… thanks for the help with…" Mint hesitated, and for a moment Nancy thought she was actually about to say a mean thing. Instead, she shrugged, and finished with, "…that guy."
Nancy winked at her. "No problem, that's why we're a team! Maybe Gurk was bothering Elwyn and him leaving will cheer him up… you never know."
The two women, bereft their backseat passenger, trotted into the crowd, while Arche sat under the table with her legs crossed and continued eating, not even bothering to wipe her vest when an errant bit of sauce fell on it. There were simply more important priorities for her right now, and the fact of the matter was that she was wearing Klarth's clothes. She reasoned she would have to do something about that if she wanted to go out and mingle with some of the guests. The outfit still repulsed her, though she was enjoying the fact that it was about as roomy as her custom-made pink pants.
But for the moment she was happy… until she realized that she hadn't tried the pie. She quirked an eyebrow, peeked out from under the table, and saw one sitting just on the edge of the table. Poking her head out, she looked all around, and grabbed it when no one was looking.
One of the guests near the table could have sworn he heard someone whistling innocently, but shrugged it off and blamed it on the two drinks he'd had that evening. Underneath the table, Arche realized she'd forgotten a knife. She contemplated going after one, realizing she'd only intended to have one piece, before she looked at the pie again and grinned to herself. It looked to her like the most delicious thing in the world at the moment... And, she reasoned, if no one had noticed it was gone already, then it was hers.
She plunged her face into the pie, a deliciously gooey blackberry one, and began chewing. After all, you only live once, and Klarth's vest was a handy thing to wipe ones' face on. Arche almost felt as if it were some kind of Halloween party instead of a bachelor party. After all, she was in someone else's clothes, and a pile of sweets was right in front of her.
While Arche, Mint, and Nancy had been battling Gurk, Klarth had continued his search of Cless, asking anyone and everyone if they'd seen an intoxicated young man race past them. So far his search had come up empty.
A guest finally pointed him to a corner of the room, and as the guest pointed towards an ornate, finely crafted statue of a knight complete with sword and armor, Klarth smirked in triumph, realizing that only a fighter could truly appreciate it. As he'd suspected, he saw Cless wobbly admiring it… until he reached up and attempted to pry the sword from the grasp of the armor. Wondering what in the world Cless was up to now, Klarth started walking slowly towards the armor.
A loud crash shook the ground beneath his feet, and distracted, he turned around for a moment to see a sight rivaling the craziness of Cless; those two shady looking guests were standing around the fallen form of the fattest man Klarth had ever seen. He observed them for a moment, before realizing that the crash had been loud enough to make the floor shake. Getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, Klarth turned to look back at the statue. An "Uh oh" accompanied his fears, as he noticed how much the statue was wobbling… before he broke into a run. The new guests at the party had suddenly shifted to the back of his mind, as a much more important issue was thrust upon him. The statue looked as if it might teeter over and crush Cless at any moment, and the drunken warrior's excessive pulling on the sword wasn't helping matters. Klarth considered it a minor miracle that the statue hadn't collapsed yet.
"Stop him before he hurts himself!" Klarth shouted, hoping someone would figure out what was going on and assist, but no one paid him any heed, and so he ran on. After all, He could conceal Cless's drunkenness from Mint when he met her back at the inn, but he doubted he would have been able to conceal half a dozen lacerations and fractures. Grunting with the effort, he charged into the crowd separating him from Cless and began pushing and excusing his way through.
"Excuse me! Pardon me! Whoops! It was cheap wine anyway! Really! Nice hat, I have one like it myself… pardon me… for the love of the gods will you get the HELL out of my way! Thanks!"
Cless continued his impromptu tug of war.
"Come out, sword, come out! It was never this hard to grasp you before…"
Hewas simply too drunk to realize that the sword was completely welded to the suit of armor; the artist who'd designed it figured it was safer that way.
Unfortunately, said artist had failed to realize how unbalanced the entire suit of armor was; a good strong pull, like the kind that came from a skilled, strong swordsman, wouldn't dislodge the sword, but might just cause the suit of armor to fall forward.
On the plus side, the statue was made of fine gilded silver and gold. The artist, never one to be chintzy, had made it of solid gold instead of gold covered lead. That meant it only weighed a thousand or so pounds instead of, say, two tons…
None of this occurred to Cless, who continued pulling and pulling, too sloshed to notice that he came closer and closer to disaster with each determined tug. He felt naked without his sword, but he was remarkably close to feeling flat with it.
Even if Klarth had had some sort of mystical, otherworldly connection with his favorite outfit and the number of stains that might appear on it,(He didn't), it would have been the furthest thing from his mind as he neared where Cless was tugging, still trying to remove the sword from the golden statue. It was wobbling an awful lot now, and but the swordsman remained oblivious, and Klarth couldn't tell if it was Cless's usual demeanor or from the alcohol. Probably the alcohol. Cless was occasionally dense, but he was still fairly bright… for a non-scholar, anyway.
"Cless! Quit pulling on the sword! That statue's going to fall on you!" He summoner screamed, but Cless seemed not to hear. He had found his sword, and nothing was going to keep him from it.
Muttering a curse and ignoring the way his knees seemed to resemble a bowl of rice crispies, Klarth gritted his teeth and tackled Cless at the last possible moment. The two rolled away as the statue clattered to the ground next to them, cracking the floor.
Klarth rolled off of Cless and groaned. His back was wrenched but he was confident that his friend was safe and sound. Safe and sound Cless was, but his mind was evidently anything from sound, leaving Klarth to again wonder just how much Cless had had to drink. Using reflexes Klarth didn't think a drunken teenager could possess, Cless leapt to his feet and clapped his hands to his cheeks. Fear lined his eyes, which came to rest on the statue and the crack on the ground. In his own little world, the statue confirmed Cless's deepest fears and suspicions.
Klarth sat up, the look in Cless's eyes willing him to forget his own aches for the moment.
"Cless, are you all right?" Cless's only response was to continue to stare at the crack, and Klarth began to wonder if he had been injured in the fall. It wasn't that Klarth hadn't seen a first-time drunk act oddly before; it was just that Cless was displaying so much emotion and intensity.
"Cless, tell me what's…"
Cless suddenly bolted for the food tables, screaming "EARTHQUAKE!" at the top of his lungs. He'd felt the vibration from the ground when Gurk had hit the floor a few moments earlier, and figured that the vibration caused by the statue he'd pulled down was the aftershock.
Luckily for Klarth, most of the partygoers were still engrossed in the music and mingling to hear, but Klarth heard the cry quite clearly. He was able to follow the sound and watch as Cless dove under the food table, nearly knocking it off one of its legs.
As Klarth stood up he realized that several of the guests were looking in the direction of the fallen statue. In particular, one of the guests that had recently entered was staring right at him; he thought he noticed familiar eyes lined by an uncharacteristic frown of worry. The familiar red cape that Klarth thought he'd seen before, didn't look nearly as lumpy as the first time Klarth had seen it. The man was far off and out of earshot, but Klarth could swear he saw recognition in those eyes. Had he been able to read lips, he would have noticed that guest elbowing his partner and mumbling, "Was that Cless?" That would probably have been enough to allow the quick-witted Lester to realize that he was looking at Mint Adnade, albeit Mint Adnade in Cless's clothes.
Alas, Klarth had never been able to read lips, and as a result, he still had no idea. Instead, he looked up at the ceiling and groaned again, rubbing the arch in his lower back and resignedly mumbling to himself, "I'd better go get him… Now I REALLY feel like a father… I hope he stays put this time."
Dejected at how suddenly un-entertaining the party had become, Klarth put his hands in his pockets and began walking moodily to the table, still trying to figure out where he'd seen those eyes before.
On the other side of the room, Mint was wondering if it had been Cless that had blown past Klarth towards the food tables, but Nancy tugged on Mint's cape, having noticed the roped off area of the room while Mint had observed the latter portion of the spectacle.
"Do you want to run a race? I didn't think he'd have put that in the party itinerary, but I know that it's Elwyn's favorite game, and maybe he didn't do as well as he thought. That would explain why he's in such a bad mood…
"Sure." Mint replied, reasoning that Cless could wait, though she desperately wanted to see him, she trusted in her good faith that the blur flying towards the table hadn't really been Cless. It was actually rather hard to recognize Klarth without his vest, hat, and facial paint, so she couldn't eliminate the possibility that it hadn't been Klarth next to the wildly running man. Shrugging away her fears, she realized they could find Cless later. Helping Elwyn out was more important to Nancy and therefore more important to her for the moment. Nancy had helped her out, and even if there weren't a favor to return Mint would have gone along with it. She walked with Nancy towards the registration area.
Mint had little idea of knowing that one of her worst nightmares was suddenly possible under the food tables. Cless was truly drunk, and a blackberry pie-covered Arche Klaine was about to find that she wasn't alone under the table…
Two minutes… two people. The party was a blur, as was the world around them, but these two people were on the verge of the most satisfying experience any living being could know. It only took one minute for the two to feel completely and utterly bonded to one another, for all inhibitions to fall away. The time that followed was a brilliant combination of steps, turns, maneuvering, thrusting… all to accommodate a single satisfying act in anarrow space. It was a thing of beauty to behold, for it was asif the two… had become one.
At the climax of the moment, they stared into each others eyes, at the sheen of sweat lining their faces, and…
Grinned, as a cry of "Finished!" Echoed around them.
"What did you call this again Nancy?" Mint whispered, bending down and removing the rope that had bonded her to her friend's ankle. "I can't say that I'm familiar with it."
"It's the three-legged race. I guess whoever organized the party knew it was Elwyn's favorite… I'm amazed we did so well! When I tried this with Elwyn once, we fell at least three times… I thought he'd be over here, but I guess he wasn't. And don't call me Nancy… we're men, remember?"
Mint blushed and nodded, but no one had seemed to notice. Because of that, she couldn't resist, adopting a mildly concerned look. "What will we call ourselves, then?"
Nancy smiled. "It hasn't come up so far… we'll be fine, and think of something if we need to." Mint nodded, finding the answer acceptable.
The two women turned men were ushered in front of a table, at which a very bored man in a red tunic sat, recording times and names to determine the winners of the contest, which would apparently be announced at midnight. It was evident he was an official, at least if one judged that status by the huge sign behind him that had the word 'official' inscribed on it. Behind them, a few onlookers stared in shock, as Mint and Nancy's time in the race had easily been among the best so far. They'd been amazed at how well the two had worked together. Of course, after Mint and Nancy had kept Arche concealed for a good portion of the night, a simple thing like being tied together was easy in comparison. The official congratulated them, as they approached, not even bothering to look up.
"Good time, maybe the best. I'm sure the bachelor will be happy to know people are still enjoying this… After the horrible time he ran with that drunken idiot…" He glanced up, his face neutral, and took in each of their faces. "May I have your names, Misters?
"Drunken idiot?" Mint stammered, casting worried looks Nancy's way.
At the same time, Nancy muttered, "Horrible time? Is that it?" Wondering if that was the reason for Elwyn's poor spirits.
The official, not one to be rushed in this state, nodded. "Yeah. The guy was Elwyn's partner and they ran this thing in 189 seconds… you two ran it in about 35. Of course, if you think that's bad, you should've seen what Elwyn's 'best friend' ran… But anyway, about Elwyn's partner… Look at this; I can't even decipher his name! It's all scribbled, which shouldn't come as a surprise given the way that oaf was stumbling around…" The official shook his head, and then looked at Nancy and Mint again, trying to get back on track. "So anyway, your names were?"
Nancy stared off into space, wracking her mind furiously, even as Mint groaned, realizing it was the one detail of their disguises that they'd completely neglected.
"Er… Names?" Mint said, struggling for time and realizing that the time Nancy had alluded to had "come up".
"Yes, your names, please." The man replied, somewhat testily. It had been a LONG night.
"Our names are…" Nancy began.
"YES?" The official asked.
"…Pat… and… Pat." Nancy finished.
The official quirked a brow in confusion, unsure if he had heard them correctly. "Pat Pat? What kind of name is that?"
"No no, Pat, AND Pat. We're both named Pat." Nancy hastily explained, and the two girls relaxed for a moment.
Their relaxation was to be short-lived. "Pat… And Pat… weird." He muttered, going along with it for now. There'd been two Miguel's at the party, after all. What are your last name's initials?"
"M." Mint said, her face a wall of stone, trying to recite the initial as if she'd used it all her life.
"N." Nancy said, with a similar look etched onto her features.
The two girls had spoken simultaneously, but at the realization that they'd both thought of exactly the same idea for their last initials, grins creased their faces as they turned to glance at each other.
Unfortunately, the official was not amused. He'd had to put up with grief all day, whether it was a runner finishing with a bad time, a tie, or that disastrous run in when Elwyn and his partner had come in dead last. Or the hissy-fit Gurk had thrown when he'd failed at his race. He'd grinned then, vowing to get his revenge and that the gald would be his, but the official had paid him no heed.
"Right." He grumbled, not believing a word of it. And should I go find Pat O, and Pat P too? What about Pats A B and C?" He groaned, and Pat N rolled her eyes exasperatedly. Naturally, it fell on Pat M's shoulders to smooth the whole thing over, being the non-confrontational shemale that she was.
"No no!" Mint intoned, the grin rapidly disappearing. "Those really are our last initials! Its just coincidence, nothing more…"
She was about to go into more detail when the official's head dropped and he raised a hand to silence her.
"Whatever… I don't care if your names are Steaming Pile and Of Crap at this point… Pat M and Pat N it is. Now that I've got your… 'Names', I'd better check to see where you placed… it's only a few minutes until the bachelor has to announce the winners, and then I'm told that a very special ceremony will be taking place. You two might win, so you'd better be there"
The two girls bowed and marched a few paces away, but both their minds were on the same two people: Elwyn and Cless.
"Do you think that maybe Elwyn's upset because he didn't win the race?" Mint asked, electing to smooth Nancy's worry lines first.
"We've never won before… It didn't upset him then." Nancy groaned. "Though I was the best race partner he'd ever had, he said that once, so maybe that's what he meant when he was wishing I was here."
"Maybe so…" Mint said, not entirely convinced, but she patted Nancy on the shoulder and smiled, looking towards the stage. "We'll know soon enough, I bet. What are we going to do if we win?"
Nancy grinned.
"We'll get to see Elwyn easily that way, have a few words with him in private… It could work out for the best! What do you think Pat?"
Mint giggled in reply, unused to the name already. "Oh Nancy, stop being so silly! If we go up there, you're going to be doing all the talking… I'm going to be trying to spot Cless from up there. I still haven't seen him…" The mirth quickly vanished into another worry line, this one belonging to Mint. "What if that 'drunken idiot' Elwyn raced with was Cless?"
Nancy chuckled. "I wouldn't worry… Elwyn knows a lot of 'drunken idiots'… Company men, friends of his father… Have a little bit more faith in Cless than that; he seems like a good sort. Why, I haven't forgotten what he did when we returned to talk to Elwyn's father… Regardless of what might happen here, you know he's a good person at heart! Maybe he just… lost himself, or something. I'm sure he's fine."
Nancy's optimism reassured Mint, and the healer smiled. "Thanks, I needed that I think… Let's go over there and wait for the contest winners to be announced… I see Elwyn going up towards the podium now."
The two watched and waited, even as Elwyn began to walk up to the stage, and the musicians were ordered to stop so that everyone around could hear.
While Mint and Nancy had been three legging their way to the party record books, Arche was eating her way to a personal record. Smacking her lips and discarding the pie-pan off to her side, she felt as if she'd just swallowed a watermelon whole. A shallow moan of contentment escaped her lips as she loosened Klarth's belt, feeling like a pig, but one so wonderfully full of goodies.
Blackberry juice stained her hands, cheeks, and nose, and she spent a moment idly licking the goo from her fingers. That was when something suddenly charged under the far side of the table, racing directly towards her. Unfortunately, it was going to crash into the biggest thing possible to stop its momentum, and Arche's stomach was the biggest, plushiest, most tender thing around at the moment.
The witch's eyes registered the sudden movement, and she thought she recognized Cless in the split-second it took before he hurtled further under the long table, unaware of her presence. Her eyes widened about as big as the pie-pan she'd just discarded, and she thrust her hands out in front of her.
"Hey! WAIT! You're going too fast!" She screamed, her disguise and hiding place the last thing on her mind, but she was too late. Arche's swollen stomach broke Cless's momentum, and he crashed into her head-first.
It was only a a cast-iron stomach and half-elven constitution that enabled Arche to spit out only blackberry juice as her face scrunched up in pain, but she would have found it infinitely preferable to the experience of sending an entire blackberry pie out of her digestive tract. As it was, the impact put her in too much pain to care, and the force of the movement sent her skidding backwards. Miraculously she remained under the table. Cless was still strewn over her, wondering what had just transpired and why he'd stopped.
Arche was in too much agony to do anything but sit straight up; the closest thing she could do to doubling over and clutching her stomach. Unfortunately, as she did it she smacked her head off the underside of the table, before her back came crashing back to the ground with a thump, one hand wrapped tightly around the top of her head, the other clutching her stomach. Her moan of blackberry-induced pleasure had given way to a groan of collision-induced pain, and she rocked for a moment with her eyes clenched shut. Amazingly, Klarth's hat had not left her head throughout the entire ordeal.
When the pain had dulled a bit and she felt she could open her eyes, she did, only to find Cless's face staring down at her with the innocent, bewildered look of a child, albeit an intoxicated one. "Are you taking shelter against the Earthquake too?" He asked with all seriousness, even if the words were a bit slurred.
"U… Ugh…?" Her eyes worked, but she'd still taken quite a blow to the solar plexus, and was simply trying to breathe. The groan touched some faint instinct in Cless, the instinct that maybe this person was hurt. Unfortunately, the instinct was a befuddled as the rest of him, in his current inebriation.
"Are you injured? I'll save you! I saw my mother do this once!" Arche figured he was going to put a hand on her head to check her for a fever, so she rolled her eyes and prepared to accept the lunacy, still in too much pain to move. The pain multiplied about three or four times, as Cless abruptly pushed on her stomach twice and cupped his mouth over hers, trying to breathe air into her. Naturally, being not at all in need of CPR (or the Tales equivalent of such,) Arche started choking, and Cless eased back a bit, his drunken look of concern giving way to a drunken smile of success; truly thinking he had saved a life. Arche continued coughing, but her eyes glared daggers at him. His breath had been awful from the alcohol he'd consumed earlier, and though Arche had daydreamed about Cless kissing her in some errant fantasies, the act was almost certainly NOT what she had in mind.
"What's gotten into you, Cless?" She hissed, poking him in the chest, finding it as firm and muscular as she'd assumed it was underneath all the armor he normally wore. She would actually have been overjoyed to find Cless if it wasn't for the fact that she wasn't quite over the pain he'd inadvertently inflicted on her, and acting so oddly on top of that.
Cless blinked, as if he hadn't heard the name in a long time, and looked around confusedly. It seemed to snap him back to some form of reality.
"I don't… know? I feel all warm inside, and dizzy, and…"
Cless belched in mid-sentence, and Arche knew she had her answer. She glanced around to be sure no one had heard them under the table, and leaned in to look him straight in the eye, as a tiny smile creased her face.
"You're drunk, Cless. Completely and utterly drunk. Do you even remember what you were doing five minutes ago?"
Cless shrugged, before a sudden thought crossed his face, and of all things, he started to cry. "What'll I tell Mint? I swore I'd never do anything like this… I don't like it…" He groaned, burying his face in his hands, and Arche simply shook her head. There apparently wasn't a single drop of lead in Cless's heart of gold, but as she began to build the frameworks of a plan in her head, she realized that it wouldn't hinder her much. She hated to take advantage of Cless's condition, but she knew she was going to have to if she wanted to pull this off. She patted him on the shoulder, dusting it off a bit. She didn't want Cless in trouble with Mint any more than she herself would've wanted to be in trouble with Mint.
"Don't worry about Mint… She's an understanding person… You won't get in trouble…" Cless was nodding as Arche reassured him, before Arche fired away with the point of her deliberations. "We simply won't tell her about this little event, okay?" Not surprisingly, Cless's head moved from an up-down motion to a left-right shaking motion.
"I can't do that! It'd be dishonest! I can't believe I did this… I don't even remember why, or how…" His eyes began to rim with tears again. Arche hadn't expected it to be that easy. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close, staring into those eyes of his. Caught up in the sudden intimacy of the moment, Cless stared back at her in shock, too surprised to cry.
"Arche, what are you…" He said, embarrassed by the rash action and confused about EVERYTHING. Her voice was almost an excited squeal.
"Tell me where you got drunk. There's something I need to do. You wait here, and I'll go, uh… talk to Mint about it. She'll understand."
"I think it's all over at that… table… to the left of this one."
"Right." She pushed him away, having found the answer she'd wanted, and winked at him. "Be back in a minute, 'Kay?"
Cless hung his head, too ashamed to even look up or contemplate what Arche had in mind. "Okay."
He didn't even see her leave.
Klarth continued his purposeful stride towards the table he'd seen Cless scurry under when he noticed something odd; the tablecloth was swaying, almost as if someone or something had just crawled out the other end. From his vantage point, he couldn't see if it was Cless, but assuming that it was, he groaned and began to walk around the table. To his great surprise, it wasn't Cless that emerged from under the table, but instead a short man who was rather exotically dressed. He had to stop and admire the man's fashion sense for a moment, as it looked pretty damn similar to something he could foresee himself wearing, admiring the outfit from the ground up… until he got to the hat.
He knew that hat, every inch of it, from the rim, to the not quite pointed but not quite round top, to the band laden with symbols and tokens. His confusion was compounded as he realized just how loose the clothes looked on the man, almost as if they didn't fit. And the oddly effeminate voice that greeted his ears, as the hat-wearing man smiled at a guest that was regarding him coldly and explained that he'd dropped a fork under the table.
It all hit home when the hat-wearing man excused himself and practically flew to the adjoining table, the one with the beverages. Klarth blinked once, hoping he was just imagining what he was seeing, but as he saw the figure scoop up several mugs of beer and make a mad dash back to the first table, half giggling, half grinning, he knew that the way the "man" was acting was in accordance with his suspicions…
…Not to mention that Klarth didn't know any man who had pink hair, as in the man's frenzy to get to the beverage table, a few locks had slipped out the back of the hat. That was no man at all; that was Arche Klaine. Klarth would've bet fifty gald that Cless was with her, since he surely couldn't have scurried away from the table, and why else would Arche go back under it?
Klarth didn't know if any supernatural being was listening, but it didn't matter, as he shrugged resignedly and glanced up at the ceiling as if to say, "Why me?"
By the time he glanced down, Arche was back under the table. Glaring, he strode towards it, intending to scare the living hell out of her and to finally rein Cless in. He thought it seemed a fine opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.
Back under the table, Cless was confused. Again.
Arche had returned, and she quickly thrust two mugs of liquid into Cless's hands, smiling all the while.
"Drink these! You'll feel much better! I talked to Mint, and she said it'd be okay!"
Cless wasn't convinced, as he sniffed the mugs, before looking up at her warily. It was pretty obvious that he was oh-so-slowly beginning to sober up.
"They smell funny. Like I did before…"
"That's because they're magic! Look, I'll prove it to you…" She grinned, and held up her own mug, indicating she wanted Cless to follow suit. "Down the hatch!" Cless didn't look entirely convinced, but he was still in a suggestible state, so he did as Arche asked. He did it again. And again.
Arche was a magician, but even she knew that she'd only been able to pull off her deception because Cless had already been drunk. She'd managed to convey to him that she'd had three mugs like he had; the reality was that she'd only had one, and had used the empty mug for the other two swallows.
She could get smashed later; right now she had to go through with her plan.
"Whooooooooo… are youuuuuuu?" Cless slurred.
"Your buddy." Arche replied, smiling. "You have to go to the bathroom now; I'll make sure you get there okay!"
She indicated an exit, and Cless dutifully crawled out, as she prepared to follow. She hoped he knew where it was, as he seemed to be heading in the right direction…
It was sheer coincidence that Klarth happened to be peeking under the table at the exact same moment, only from the opposite end. Confused, and not the least concerned about his dignity after chasing Cless everywhere and anywhere, he crawled under the table for a closer look and still found nothing.
Peeking out, he saw what looked like a pair of brown shoes on the other end of the table; roughly the same kind he wore. Grinning wickedly, he reached out to grab Arche's ankle,remembering howeasily she startled if the morning's events had been any indication...
Grimacing, Elwyn strode up to podium, calling for silence. Elwyn opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated, tightening his lips and trying his best to smile. Most of the partygoers didn't notice that it was being forced, but one in particular did.
Nancy's concern was continuing to mount. If Elwyn really had been bothered by the race, he wouldn't have looked miserable for this long. There was a pile of gald behind him, locked securely in a safe, but he kept glancing nervously at it, then back to the crowd. There was no reason for him to look so upset… was there?
At that point, Nancy didn't just want to win the three-legged race; she prayed she'd won. More than ever, she wanted to have a talk with her beloved, because he looked absolutely miserable.
Again, Elwyn opened his mouth to speak, but the voice that every suddenly heard was nowhere near Elwyn's tone.
"KYA!"
One-hundred and one heads whirled around in the direction of the scream, only to see one of the strangest sights the party had had yet; as someone with very pink hair. (For his, or her) hat had flown off when she jumped. Arche spent a moment staring at all the people as hushed gasps exploded behind her, before she sprinted for the door that led out and charged through it as fast as her legs would pump, cheeks reddening with mortal embarrassment.
"Oh my… Was that?" Mint began.
"Yes." Nancy groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead. She'd have felt sorry that Arche had apparently been found out if it wasn't for the fact that she really, REALLY wanted to get to Elwyn. But Arche was her friend, and in the name of friendship, she felt she had to at least watch in bewilderment as she scrambled away.
It got weirder, as Klarth emerged out from under the table, shouted, "YES!" and grabbed his hat, placing it on his head and looking entirely too smug. The hat gave him a remarkably outlandish appearance, at least when combined with his finer clothes. The summoner pumped his fist once in a most uncharacteristic victory pose, before realizing that all eyes were on him, including Elwyn's from the podium. He wilted under their glare, and in a rare moment, both his cheeks flushed bright red as he realized that he'd picked the appropriately WRONG time to pull his trick on Arche. If he'd yet realized that Mint was there too, he would have seen her eyes glaring daggers too. Scaring people was, after all, a not so nice thing to do.
Klarth took a step back, and grimaced, taking his hat off and holding it in both hands. This was almost as bad as that dream he'd had where he'd been all ready to forge a contract with his first summon spirit… before looking down and realizing that while he had his ring of contract all right, he'd somehow shown up for the affair in his underwear. Naturally the Sylph spirits had commented on the heart-embroidered boxers, especially since they matched the hat so well. His subconscious never forgot the hat. He started inching for the bathroom door, the blush of his cheeks not diminishing in the least. "Heh… I have to go to the bathroom… um… sorry about… that." He muttered in low tones, before his inching turned into a full out sprint. No one stopped him.
Mint nudged Nancy gently.
"Did you see Cless with him?" Came the predictable request.
"No…"
"Good… I think."
Unbeknownst to Mint, Cless had miraculously made his way to the bathroom in the chaos.
At the podium, Elwyn cleared his throat and finally began to speak, and the 101 pairs of eyes whirled to look back at him, the incident not forgotten, but inappropriate to discuss at the moment.
Nancy had never ignored her husband before, and she didn't try to this time. Just the same, most of the introductions that Elwyn gave went through one ear and out the other, before he began the magic words, casting another nervous glare at the gald as he did so.
"And the winner is…"
