Smemily: Yeah I know what your thinking, back so soon? Hehe, I have a bad headache right now But I've been watching Fruits basket and I really needed to write the next chapter. I'm not typing really fast as I usually do so I might not make as many spelling and grammatical errors. I've noticed a lot of them in my past chapters. I thinking I need a beta. Oh well, I'm drowsy and I just found out that I spelt Uo wrong all throughout chapter 3. I am in no mood to change It right now but I promise I will later!
Kuhu: Now on with the chapter!
Smemily: That's my line I'll on with the chapter when I damn well feel like it. -waits about 10 minutes- Ok now I feel like it,
Koya's thoughts
Yuki's thoughts
/flashback/
Chapter The Eighth
Stolen Promises
He continued to stare at the taller boy before grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him into the house.
"School be damned, we need to talk."
Yuki dragged the surprised boy through the kitchen, up the stairs and into his room. One look around the place and they both felt embarrassment caused by the memories of the last time they were together in that room. Regardless Yuki pushed Koya into the room and motioned for him to sit down or at least make himself look less like a deer in the headlights. After they both calmed down considerably Yuki repeated his last words.
"We need to talk." he said, Koya nodded and sat down on the chair this time while Yuki sat on the bed.
"Look Yuki I'm really sorry about yesterday. I just came by to get my books, if you never want to speak to me again, that's fine." Koya said motioning for his bag that was still sitting in the corner fo the room where he had left it. Apparently Yuki didn't want to move it for fear of more incriminating memories. Yuki just shook his head and told Koya to stay put. Koya remembered something about that mornig that he thought he should bring to the attention of Yuki. "Oh yeah, and that guy, Ayame. Yeah he saw us yesterday."
"What?" Yuki asked incredulously.
"Yeah I was talking to him before you got outside and he said that he saw us, -ahem- getting friendly the whole thing. I don't know how he managed to see without us noticing." Yuki looked enraged.
"That little snake! I can't believ he would do that, this is a new low even for that jerk!" Yuki said.
"Ohhh, he must me a member of the zodiac, the snake I'm assuming?" Koya asked.
"Yes, yes, how can you be so calm about this, he invaded out privacy and he even had the gaul to talk about it with you!" Koya blushed and laughed a little, Yuki just blushed he was still a little pissed off though.
"He told me no one else knew, I think he meant it he said Shigure didn't notice him leaving and no one else had been watching so I don't care that much besides I don't think he has a problem with it, in fact he said something about me being more you r type, or something." Koya blushed even more if possible. "The fact is I don't think he' going to tell anyone any time soon,"
"Damn Snake." Yuki mumbled under his breathe.
"Yeah he mentioned you two didn't get along, why is that? Koya asked curiously, although he was kind of trying to attract attention away from the inevitable conversation that was soon to follow.
"No we never have. We were separated when I was very young and I never really got to know him, by the time I had I realized he was basically my exact opposite. So I didn't see the point in even trying to get along with him. A couple years back he tried to get closer to me and get to know me better, tried to be the typical big brother but it was far too late for that and I wouldn't let him in, if anything I pushed him farther away. Recently he got angry at me and told me he was giving up on me, that I was a lost cause, he said he had no brother and that I was dead to him. We haven't had a decent conversation since then but at least he has started talking to me, right after I..." He cut off, and Koya nodded, He understood that attempted suicide wasn't something that people normally talk openly about.
"I don't know If we will ever be able to have a civil conversation again ,not that we have had many. But, the fact that he would spy on me just boils my blood. Gods I hate him so much!" Yuki said his voice raising again,
"Yeah that was a crappy thing to do, I'm sorry It's all my fault if I hadn't been here he wouldn't even have had anything to spy on."
"Oh no, I said we need to talk, that means a conversation is required." Yuki said sternly as is he had just made up his mind about this.there was no avoided the conversation now. Truth his this was kind of spontaneous, Yuki had planned on avoiding Koya for as long as he possibly could, temporarily forgetting bout his bag being left there, but when he saw the other boy just then, he decided he needed to sort a few things out. He hadn't planned on this and he wasn't planning what was going to happen next. He looked down at his hands that were twiddling with each other as he spoke. "Besides, you're not the one who should apologize anyway, I started it, if anyone should be sorry it's me, and I am." Yuki said timidly. Koya allowed himself a small smile, how Yuki could go from so determined and demanding to shy and timid was amazing, yet another surprising thing about the rat boy.
"Don't apologize it was my fault."
"No it really wasn't it was mine."
"No I swear if it wasn't for me..." Koya was cut of by Yuki sighing,
"Ok, Let's settle with we're both to blame. We aren't getting anywhere by arguing about whose fault it was," Yuki said Koya nodded but then realized something.
"Where is it exactly we are trying to get?" He asked puzzled, truth be told, neither of them knew, they both just wanted a logical and totally platonic reason as to why they were mercilessly sucking face in that very room just the other day.
"I don't' know where we're trying to get, I personally just want to sort this out so we don't have to avoid each other."
I don't know what I would do If I could never speak to you again.
"Yeah," Koya agreed, "So how're we gonna do that?". Yuki thought for a moment
"Well I know I won't be able to forget that," He blushed. Who could? "So we can't just say forget it, I think we both need to explain our cases to each other in a logical and clear manner. Then we can forgive each other and come up with an understandable..." and hopefully platonic "Solution to this problem." He finished and Koya couldn't help but smile.
How am I supposed to think up an excuse with him acting all smart-like. He has to know how cute that is. Gah!
"Yeah that should work." Koya said.
"Ok well I guess I'll go first, I'll start from the beginning.
"When I found you in that stall, slumped over and hardly breathing I was mostly concerned about what the hell I was going to do. How I was supposed to get you out of there, I was worried that you were going to die and that you were seriously hurt and all these things were going through my brain, like all the possible horrible gruesome effects it could have on you, I still have some of them, but way back in the back of my mind, I don't know, there was like something screaming at me. Why?
"Why would you do something like that? Put your life at risk for a few minutes of false joy given to you by something you knew was harmful. You knew it could hurt you and you had no idea what exactly was in it. I guess my main thoughts at that point were, how could you do that to me? If you had have died I would be all alone again and not only that but I would also be faced with the guilt of being there and not being able to do anything about it. I know It sounds selfish, I thought you were going to die and all I could think about was how miserable it would make me but I also felt hurt.
"Hurt that you wouldn't tell me. When I asked you about that guy and you said he was just some guy, you lied to me and I thought you could trust me. I mean. I trusted you with the biggest secret I have, and not only me but it also affects my entire family. I just don't see how you didn't think you could trust me?
"Once I had gotten my head straight and I managed to drag you back here I was worried sick about you I wondered whether I should get you something to eat or drink or perhaps even a bucket in case you heaved, I wondered how long it would take you to wake up and every second felt like an eternity until you finally opened your eyes. I was relieved I can tell you that but all the questions came back to me, all the hurt I felt that you couldn't trust me that you would leave me that you were going to die washed over me in a huge wave and I just needed to be as close to you as I possibly could, like, if I clung to you and kept you here, you wouldn't leave me and I had to hold tight or you would disappear.
"I guess that was when I kissed you, after you told me you would never do it again I was relieved but I didn't believe, I-I had to make you, I had to make you know that I wouldn't let you leave, I stole your promise. And I'm sorry." Yuki finished, and Koya could have sworn he saw the younger boy with tears in his eyes. He looked at Yuki and sighed.
He really cares, no one- no one has ever cared like that not about me,
"Yuki I'm really sorry about that. I'm just not used to people caring about me so much. I never thought anyone could be so affected by me and what I do. So when I saw the look on your face when I woke up I knew I had made a mistake. I knew you were a nice guy and really sweet, but I've seen so much of the human race's ignorance I-I just never knew anyone could really care that much about me, I should have known it would be you though,
"I felt like crap, physically and mentally. My head was spinning and all I could see was you staring at me, yelling at me because you were worried and you thought I was going to be hurt, and I saw how angry you were and I knew I had hurt you. Believe me Yuki I never want to hurt you. So I told you I would never do it again, and I meant it. Then you kissed me and all I could think about was how much I would have missed you, If I had actually died and gone to heaven or hell or where ever it is I'm going. My first true friend and I had just betrayed you. You're right I didn't trust you when I should have. You have given me every reason to tell you things and trust you and that just made me feel even worse about it.
"Yuki I'm sorry and I really want to forgive me but that of course is up to you. You can argue all you want with me about how this is your fault but we both know it isn't true. It was my own blind stupidity and lack of trust that got us into this mess." As Koya spoke he thought. His words came out of his mouth as he had never thought of them before. Little did he know the same had been happening to Yuki, they had been explaining and then they're deepest thoughts had come out. Arisen from the dust piles in the corners of their minds and made themselves known so that it came to a surprise to both the person hearing and the person speaking.
Koya stopped walking and looked over at Yuki. He could tell now it was obvious he was crying and Koya was about to get up but Yuki did first. He stood up and walked over to Koya. Head down, seemingly glaring at the floor. "Yuki had I known that it would lead up to something like this I wouldn't have even thought twice about talking to that guy. I'm so sorry you were affected like this..." Yuki fell to his knees in sobs he put his face in his hands and shook his head,
Why is this so painful for me? Why is he doing this to me, why can't he just say , 'whatever' or run away calling me a freak or a fag, If he had have done something like that at least now I wouldn't be feeling this again. This need to be near him.
Koya slid out of his chair and lifted Yuki's face to look at his own. He whispered. "I'm sorry" and then put his arms around the whimpering figure in a tight reassuring hug. Yuki hugged back and let his tears fall freely now onto Koya's shoulder.
I-I can't. This, I need this, I need him. I can't deny it anymore, whether he likes it or not, I have feelings for Koya, I guess I can't run from it anymore. But this feel so right so much better.
"I don't want you to leave." Yuki barely whispered, not even realizing he had said it out loud. Koya pulled away from the hugs and Yuki resisted the urge to whimper as he lost the warmth and assurance of it. He looked at Yuki and smiled slightly.
This boy, this amazing boy. He's, so unpredictable. How could I ever leave him?
"I'm not going anywhere Yuki." Koya said gently raising a hand to touch the pale cheek of the purple eyed boy. "And you don't have to steal this promise." He said as he slowly inched his face closer and closer to Yuki's, allowing him plenty of time and space to move away or stop the inevitable from happening but Yuki just closed his eyes. Ready to receive the kiss. He closed the remaining distance between them and kissed Koya, lightly and gently nothing like their last one, This was gentle and full of kindness and the boys basked in the bliss of it, and all the promises that came with it.
Smemily: -GAG- -cough cough cough cough cough- Im sorry -cough cough cough cough- I've just gotten caught up with all the cottony fluffness, I'm -cough- choking on it, -cough cough-
Kuhu: Awwwwwwwwww -heart eyes.- that's soooo cute! I love it!
Smemily: Oh but the fluff Kuhu! The fluff ! Its nausiating how did I ever create that?
Kuhu: I only took over your brain fro about 40 minutes of the time you were writing it.
Smemily: It took me half an hour to write this.
Kuhu: wooopsie. -runs-
Smemily: GAH Well, if you can stand the fluff in this chapter good for you if it is as disgusting to you s it is to me please don't hate me I have a gay damned angel living in my mind you cannot blame me.
Ok. So Koya and Yuki have settled this fight thing, sort of, they have both admitted to themselves that they have feelings for the other, if you didn't get that already. Yuki's pissed at Aya but right now he has other things on his mind. -wink wink- So Yuki and Koya have made a sort of invisible unspoken bond, kind of a relationship, not just yet but its getting there. Next chapter I'm going to finish up the realizaation and let our heroes do the whole "Coming out thing" It should be interesting and dramatic, lol, coming soon to Smemily's profile.
This chapter is the longest I have written for this story so far. I am very proud of it Im also proud of the fact that I posted like 3 chapters in one week. So I think I deserve some praise, REVIEW ME. Plez. Im not gonna hold chaoters hostage but so far motivation is LOW. I love writing these and I am by no means going to stop but Reviews help remind me that I have people reading and that I am appreciated. So plez review.
I made flash backs into /these/ now but I havent had one in a while, I will I promise! MUAH
Until next time Kids- STAY FRUITY
