A/N: Confused yet? Well here's a list of the performers and their roles just to help you out (I'll update it throughout the fic if necessary):

Cast:

Chip Skylark...Phantom of the Music Biz (Vicky's mysterious 'singing coach')

Vicky...Aspiring Singer (uses her own name in the play)

Tootie...Critic

Norm...Mastermind Antagonist (others presume him to be a talent scout)

Mark Chang...Handsome Boyfriend Chevy (Phantom's Rival)

Bri (OC)...Ms. Bleary (Vicky's second-rate manager)

Camille (OC)...Nurse Maggie/Vicky's Friend (background singer)

Reggie (OC)...Doctor Dirk/Assistant Stagehand

Troy (OC)...Stage Manager

Mr. Bickles...Director (magically manipulated by Norm)

FYI: I'm adding a few songs in the play (or 'Mr. Bickles' is) just so this isn't a complete rip off and rewrite of the opera. I did however use a cool line from a favorite song of mine "Anything for Love" by Meatloaf. I don't own it! I just borrowed it a little.

Britney Britney: Like, when do I come in?

Cosmo: Anytime you want! :dreamy sigh:

Wanda: COSMO!

Cosmo: :nervously wrings his wand while wearing a sheepish grin: Oh, h-hi kitten.

:Wanda furiously zaps Cosmo into a smoldering pile of ash then angrily poofs away.:

Britney Britney: :blinks obliviously: Hot tub?

Cosmo: :still a pile of ash, recites mechanically: I can't, I'm married.

Phantom of the Music Biz: Genie Gypped

Chapter Four: From Bad to Worse

"Oh doctor," Camille stated sadly, "what a tragedy."

"Yes Nurse Maggie," Reggie replied in a solemn tone, "but luckily he survived the plane crash."

The two performers stared down with pitying expressions at the mummified figured lying atop the hospital bed. He was covered in bandages from his head to his foot, his right leg hung in the air while his left elbow was propped against the bed's railing.

"Doctor Dirk," she inquired, "will he ever sing again?"

"I don't know Nurse Maggie," Reggie shook his head in mock distress, "I just don't know."

"Well uh...why don't we just take the bandages off and find out?"

Shrugging Reggie reached out and started unwrapping the gauze from around the suffocating patient's face.

Once he was finished both he and Camille stepped back revealing Chip Skylark to the small audience present for the rehearsal.

"Sweet HMO!" Reggie gasped.

"AAAHH!" Camille shrieked in well faked terror, "H-his face! It-it's horrible!"

"What!" Chip exclaimed, "Let me see!"

Reluctantly Reggie handed him a mirror. The pop singer quickly checked his reflection before a look of horror appeared on his face too.

"NOOOO!"

"Brilliant!" Mr. Bickles stood giving the actors (and actress) a roaring round of applause. "The passion, the suspense, the raw heartfelt emotion! Inspired I tell you!"

Backstage Troy shoved a finger in his mouth and gagged. Why'd he bother adding this stupid scene?

"Mr. Bickles!" Bri shouted, "Is this a musical or a cheesy soap opera?"

"Bri my dear girl," he tsked her, "this is art and FYI you can't spell 'soap opera' without the word 'opera'."

Throwing her hands in the air she slumped back down in her seat clearly exasperated with Mr. Bickles's ridiculously unnecessary revisions.

"Now let's all take our places and move right into the scene where Vicky first meets the mysterious phantom-of the music biz!" he instructed.

"And by that he means everybody who hasn't been replaced by some last minute non-drama major," Troy scoffed.

"Man this bites," Bri grumbled.

Taking her place onstage Vicky sighed, "They're all getting recast while I'm stuck in the stupid lead female role. And I didn't even wanna be in this dumb play in the first place! What gives?"

From out in the seats Tootie glowered sideways at Norm. "Good question sis, Norm?"

"Hey, can I help it if that nerdy teacher keeps getting struck with completely unorthodox inspiration?" the genie grinned innocently. "I mean, what do you want me to do, revoke his artistic license?"

"You're not fooling me Norm," she warned, "and as soon as I figure out what your motive is your whole plan's going down!"

"Ha, right!" he laughed, "Like I'm scared of some moody twelve-year-old trapped in a teenager's body. Give it up gingersnap; I'm a fifty thousand year old genie. That's WAY out of your league."

Growling through clenched teeth Tootie snapped her head back around to face the stage. I'll get you for this Norm. Just you wait!


Meanwhile somewhere between the last couple of rows...

Poof!

"Well, here we are Timmy!" a swirly pink haired fairy exclaimed.

"Yeah and it looks like we made it just in time for rehearsal." Timmy noted.

The three new arrivals cautiously peered over the seats towards the stage where Chip and Vicky were about to begin the scene.

"Hey, wait a minute..." Wanda scratched her head in confusion, "who's that shady looking guy in the trench coat? He seems familiar somehow but I can't quite place the shadowy face."

"Yeah..." Cosmo added dreamily, "and who's the babe in the hot spandex outfit sitting next to him?"

A quick death glare from Wanda shut her drooling hubby up.

Timmy glanced at the odd pair his fairies were referring to. "Hm...they both seem kinda familiar. I wonder if they have anything to do with-"

"ALRIGHTY NOW, PLACES PEOPLE!" Mr. Bickles directed, "LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!"

The scene began and Vicky entered a backstage area designed to resemble a storage room. Her head was hung low, her eyes downcast, and a look of utter dismay was etched across her weary features.

"That's it," Mr. Bickles sniffled, "you're sad! Completely distraught, your dreams have been shattered as you've flopped out in yet another disappointing audition!"

Scowling at him Vicky tried to remain in character. Her next lines were pretty much all song, a lame totally out-of-place song that Mr. Bickles had added to explain the first meeting of 'Vicky' and 'the Phantom'.

Oh great, just great

Is this to be my fate?

To stay locked away

In dreaded poverty

Alone, alone

I'm feeling so alone

And far away so far away

From Home!

If only I could reach

That special melody

And land on the right key

They'd finally notice me.

From somewhere offstage Chip whispered a soft, "Vicky...hey Vicky..."

Vicky pretended not to hear and went on with her griping—ur—singing.

Lost hope no hope

Where oh where did it go?

Somewhere where birds sing

And cash flows like it's raining!

My heart's almost forgotten

Just what real progress is

Oh if only there was someone

To show me how to make it in the music biz!

Chip whispered again (only louder this time), "Vicky...oh Vicky..."

At last she paused. "Huh? Did someone just call my name?"

Shrugging she dismissed it, "Eh, must be hearing things." and resumed her singing.

Each note each day

Oh how they slip away

No talent for the starving

Man this room's unnerving...

I've gotta get a tutor

A real melodic wiz

If I'm to rise to stardom

And make it in the music biz!

Getting frustrated Chip hissed, "VICKY!...ICKY VICKY!"

The 'singer' halted in her tracks.

"HEY!" she exclaimed, "I thought when that broke loser creep Chip Skylark disappeared a year ago I'd heard the last of that stupid nickname!"

Undaunted by this Chip took advantage of her full attention to sing his lines.

Vicky dear girl

Shunned by all the world

Needing so much pity

Laughing stock of the city

"What!" she clenched her fists and could almost swear that she heard the twerp's snicker come from somewhere out in the audience.

From behind the curtain Chip smirked. Now it was his turn to ignore her.

The light, the light

The overrated light

While many go on seeking it

Only I have thrived within it

And I say to you

Each word 100 true

If fame is what you seek

You'll obtain it within the week!

"Really?" she asked in disbelief, "Okay Mr. Invisible, you've got my attention. How do I get famous that fast?"

Skylark's crafty smirk went unseen as he slowly edged behind the prop mirror.

Believe in me

Do as I say

Trust the music

Let it carry you away

This is almost as bad as the 'Icky Vicky' song. she inwardly groaned. But it was her turn to sing back and she was determined not to have to repeat the whole dang scene over again.

Why should I?

I've never seen your face

For all I know

You're some nerdy two-bit waste

Chip sang a reply (sensing a pattern yet?).

SING for me

You've but to SING for me

Through songs I'll give to you

Boundless popularity!

In accordance to her script Vicky feigned surprise then suspicion.

Wow? Really?

But how can this be?

I've never even met you

What's this deal got in it for you?

"Whoa," Mark was starting to get a headache from all the harmonious singing, "my aching brain cavity! This is the most brutal form of theatrical torture ever!"

"I'm with him," Timmy moaned. "This stuff is WAY too love-dovey. Where's all the action!"

"Aw but Timmy," Wanda swooned, "it's a love story! It's not about the action, it's about the romance...and Chip!"

"In other words," Cosmo summarized, "the action doesn't come until Chip and Mark start bashing each other's brains out in a jealous fit of rage!"

Back to Chip...

I ask but one thing

For these services I bring

Which is that we'll never part

Swear to me your icky heart!

Peeved once again by the mention of 'icky' she fumed.

Forget it pal!

There's just no way

I won't be yours

Not any day!

She's so cute when she's angry! he thought before responding slyly.

Then I guess you'll stay alone

Broke and poor, despised!

In your new career you'll daily moan

Would you like that with fries!

Every college student's nightmare...a lifetime trapped in fast food service! Vicky gulped and meekly changed her tune.

Wait sweet phantom

Let's make a deal

Protect me from

The world that's real.

I'll gladly do just what you say

To escape a life of minimum pay

Teach me the way to riches and fame

And I'll gladly take on your last name!

I can't believe I'm saying this

But I'll do anything

Anything you ask

Just help me make it in the music biz!

Mark was furious, "That puny Earth punk had better thank his lucky stars that this is only a highly offensive act!"

Spying the glare he was receiving from Vicky's 'ex-boyfriend' Chip sang smugly.

Very well, good choice my dear

Now follow me the time grows near

You haven't long yet much to learn

If it's praise and power you seek to earn!

Vicky noticed the mirror begin sliding away. It slid a few inches then got stuck. The sounds of metal gears grinding against each other echoed throughout the auditorium.

Two hands appeared followed by Chip's grunts as he tried to pry the darn thing open the rest of the way. "One second."

Now it was Mark who wore a smug grin. Tsch, this earthling's got nothing on me!

Vicky put her hands on her hips and waited impatiently. Finally the mirror gave and Chip motioned for her to follow. Sighing "Well it's about time," she obliged.

The curtain closed, sounds of scuffing and squeaky pulleys were heard. A few moments later the curtains reopened to reveal the ominous catacombs beneath the theatre.

"This is it?" Vicky commented unimpressed, "I can sum up your dorky secret lair in two words: dank and dumb."

"Stick to the script!" Mr. Bickles yelled.

Shaking her fist at the bothersome director she inhaled and sang.

This place, this frightful place

It's frightfully boring!

I feel myself snoring!

Determined to rub the upcoming love scene in Mark's face Chip eagerly sang out.

This place, this hideous domain

Where fear and darkness reign

No doubt that you're afraid

The redhead quirked an eyebrow at her boyfriend. Could he actually be enjoying this cruddy musical?

Afraid, why should I be afraid?

I can handle darkness

It's being broke I fear

So just stick to our deal!

Chip replied...

My love I've brought you here

For one thing I'll make clear

You must learn to sing

Pure and amazing

Rolling her pink eyes...

Man, this guy is crazy!

She purposefully lagged behind as he rushed across the stage with a torch held high to light the way. Turning to her he sang passionately.

I'd do anything for love!

Even pluck the stars from above!

So tired of singing all alone

Want a love to call my own!

Getting into character (for once) she smiled deviously causing Mark to swoon.

So you'll do anything for love?

Anything I could think of?

I like the sound of that...

Chip continued oblivious to her but still catching the heart shapes in his rival's eyes.

Sing for me my angel

Make each note hit home

Sing for me my muse

Vicky started to groan...

Do you ever shut your yap?

I've been singing the whole time

Nothing I put to song sounds right!

Wanda was glued to the play, Cosmo and Timmy were playing 'Go Fish', Mr. Bickles was hugging the script, Tootie and Norm were staring each other down, and everyone else enjoyed the silent feud going on between Chip and Mark.

Sing darling sing

Make my heart soar

Sing dearest Vicky

Like you've never sung before!

The redhead quirked an eyebrow, "Ya mean like in Spanish?"

Slapping a hand to his brow Chip muttered, "I can see I've got my work cut out for me."

But he titled his head upright again, and with a look of strong determination he melodiously declared-

But I'm up for it

Come push or shove

Challenging as she is

I'll do...ANYTHING FOR LOVE!

"BRAVO!" Mr. Bickles was up and applauding again.

From the back Timmy shook his head in disgust, "The only thing worse than all that mush is the lyrics Mr. Bickles wrote."

"I know," Cosmo winced, "that man should've stuck with his seafood restaurant job."

"But he almost turned the two of us into crab-ca-bob!" Wanda reminded him.

"True," the green haired fairy nodded, "but there are worse things than being boiled alive."

"Like?" she demanded.

"Yuck!" Timmy exclaimed shielding his eyes from the horror onstage, "Like Vicky locking lips with Chip! GROSS!"

"HOLD IT!" Mark snapped coming between the two, "That is improv! There will be none of that in this play! Mr. Bickles has clearly ordered us all to adhere to the treacherous actions defined by the script!"

"Can we go home now?" Bri griped, "It's gettin' boring just sittin' in the audience watching everybody but the drama students put on this poor excuse for an opera."

"Oh I think that I can liven things up a bit." Norm smirked while Tootie's head was turned.

GONG!

"You're right Bri!" the director shouted.

"I am?"

"Yes! What this play needs now is more action, more drama, more-"

GONG!

The side door swung open revealing pop diva Britney Britney staring dazedly out into the theatre with a hand to her head. "Um...hello?"

"STARS!" Mr. Bickles finished elatedly.

Slapping a hand to her forehead Bri moaned, "Not another one!"

"Is this like the set of my new music video 'Pet the Puppy One More Time'?"

Vicky was absolutely livid as she spun around to Chip and jabbed a finger between his ribs, "Chip! What's the matter with you? Why'd you invite HER here!"

"B-but Vicky I-" Chip objected.

"Did you think this was funny!" she demanded.

"No I didn't! I mean I-"

"Ah-ha!" Mark jumped in with a Cheshire cat grin, "It all becomes obvious now! The grotesque Earth punk with the horribly in-tune voice and disgustingly shiny teeth has brought another woman into the picture so that he may cast you aside. But fear not beloved Vicky, for I—Mark—shall be here to welcome you back with open tentacles...um...I mean arms!"

"This isn't going so well." Tootie whimpered with her left eye twitching.

"Really?" Norm smirked, "Because I think it's all going according to script...my script. Ahahahaha!"


Amanda/Artiste: Told ya Norm had more tricks up his sleeve (well...that vest thing he wears). Next Chapter: Britney gets cast in the play and the sparks start flying. With opening night just a few weeks away can Mr. Bickles pull the cast together? Maybe a bit of motivation from Brad (who offers to broadcast the WHOLE play) will help? Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda are still lurking around and it's only a matter of time before Norm and the fairies cross magic... Review!