Part 5: Purgatory, Inferno, Paradise
"I can only see death here. Everywhere lay the scenes of destruction. As if this place lies within the mind of a madman."- Cpl. Amelia Beckett a medic in Bravo Company, 117th PIR, 79th Airborne Division. This was quoted from her diary entry during the battle of Zalus.
December 15, 2010- Our next venue of this "exciting" tour of the Rydling region is the city of Zalus. Intelligence thinks that the Yukes have concentrated their remaining forces here after we managed to beat them at Kukof. Zalus is also important for two reasons. The first is so our two armored divisions can link up. The second is that is the only strategic area for the main assault on Myzem and Telemark. However, for most of us, we just want to end this damn thing.
As usual, they want us in the lead. General Collins(3rd Army commander) is starting to piss the Airborne guys off. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. That's all he wants. It's frustrating because our Division commander is outranked by this bull-headed guy. Many think he thinks were disposable. He kept changing the positions he'd wanted us in. We'd start to dig in. Then we'd have to go somewhere else, then somewhere else. Intelligence has been somewhat poor. It frustrated the officers because of the little time they had to plan; however, even with the planning time, it would have been mostly for naught with this crappy visibility.
Not to mention this rapid pace of ours is not being methodically done. I feel like were overextending ourselves. As we've advanced through the forest, we've had to deal with snipers, mines, more snipers. We've been constantly losing contact between squads and platoons. Most of us don't have radios. Only the officers, squad and platoon leaders have them.
Then I just saw something that made me sad. We were attacked by mortars around 1500 hrs. When they stopped, we heard shooting. Some guys from G Company had dealt with the enemy mortar team. So me and Dave walk to the east and hear some strange wailing. At first I thought we had a man down. So we ran over and found, of all things, a very large deer…with both of its hind legs either torn off or damaged beyond repair. The way this thing was screaming made me cringe inside. Dave took his 9mm and put it out of its misery. Why are still seeing things like this in this day and age?
December 16, 2010- I hate being right all the time. I felt we were walking into a trap, and I was correct. We entered the area of Zalus this morning, a larger town in this region. Taking this town would set up for the big drive toward Myzem, the largest city on this side of Yuktobania. If we can take Myzem we could proceed to Telemark, the enemy HQ.
The snow had been horrible here for the last few days. We had no idea what the hell the enemy had here. There was nothing. The town was empty.
We cleared each house with a growing, ominous feeling. 1st and 2nd Battalions of our regiment and 1-118th(or 1st battalion) were the first to enter the town. Us in 1st platoon managed to secure the chateau on the edge of town. Captain Jones ordered us to cover the windows and doors with machineguns. 2nd and 3rd platoons set up outside. Dave and I set up one in a 1st story window in view of a cresting road. It was perfectly placed to wipe out any infantry. Now all we had to wait for the tanks.
Suddenly, we heard rumbling. The forest itself was shaking. The sounds of artillery filled the air. Infantry poured out the woods wearing red fatigues and bayonets aplenty. The Ovanji Tangra had arrived. They pounded us with 88s, 105s, 120s. OP #1 was overrun almost instantly. We unloaded on them. So many fell, but they just kept coming. OP #2 was overrun. Eventually, they overrun the walls outside the chateau. We struggled to fix bayonets as they fought them outside and inside. It was brutal. They had all kinds of weapons. One guy even had a flamethrower. Johansson from 3rd platoon blew him up with one well placed shot. We fought around corners, up and down stairs, and in every romm. They just attacked, and attacked, and attacked. After some time, they retreated.
We breathed a sigh of relief. There were a lot of wounded; the fighting had spread all over town. Although exhausted, we still have to hold the line. The tanks were getting held up. I hope those Tangra don't come back. We gave them hell. But we almost got our asses kicked. I remember their faces, filled with intense rage and fervor. They were unlike any Yuke soldiers I've ever seen.
December 18, 2010- The whole division now defends this town. What's taking those damn tanks so long?
We're still in our in our relative comfort in the chateau. No one is sure whether the enemy will come back. We've been under small attacks from the Tangra for the last 36 hours. C company drove off a few approaching in APCs. At least we have some 50cal MGs now. Some Yuke planes rolled in on us, but were driven off by our own planes. We've hardly had any rest as they just keep harassing us.
Not two hours ago, 2 tanks and a bunch of infantry attacked along the west side of town. Captain Jones gets all the anti-tank units into action. Johnny and Miranda get set up to fire a TOW missile at one tank. I was right above them in a bombed out section of the mansion. Then, I hear a loud shot and I see both of them go down. Our mortars get humping, and Lally and his men change positions. They had to be 50 cal rifles. Johnny's gotta a hole in his head the size of a jawbreaker. That same bullet tore through Miranda's leg. I get down there only to see another guy behind him dead. Murphy. Damn sniper got three people with one shot. So I'm calling for a medic, and he gets there. The tanks were still coming. As we try to stop the bleeding, this poor woman's getting hysterical. Amazingly, the artery wasn't hit; it just tore off a huge chunk of her thigh.
We're trying to get her back inside, when a Yuke breaks his way though and starts running toward us. Then in a feat of dexterity, Cpl. Elliot throws his bayonet at the guy from the 2nd floor and got him in the head. He told me later he was trying to reload. So the attack was driven off yet again. The casualties are climbing. I'm not sure if we can hold this place much longer. We also learned the tanks had been struggling with anti-tank units and artillery as well. We don't know the status of 4th Infantry or the Marines on the far right side of the line.
I saw her at the aid station later; she just looked pale and and sad unlike anything I'd ever seen. She was just mute, didn't say a thing. So I tell her "I'm sorry about Johnny." She just welled up and cried. I came back 6 hours later...she was too weak to cry anymore. Now that I think about it, she didn't lose a brother...she lost half her own identity. Cpl. Howard was looking at the remains of his good friend Cpl. Derek Murphy. I don't remember his exact facial expression, but he was probably just as sad. Bluntly, his place has been Hell.
December 19, 2010- I, and all the others, have been unable to call our loved ones during this hellacious period. We've just been constantly under attack. Not 10 minutes after I finished writing the last entry, we were hit once again by the relentless Tangra. It's a shame. This town was once a nice place. Seemed liked a cool place for me and Jen to spend our first anniversary. That's in 6 days, and it looks like I'll be spending it on the front lines. I'm missing her so much. Even now, after having checked the status of my squad, I go back to my lonely thoughts.
The last time I spoke to her was 10 days ago. She'd volunteered to help sort and deliver the lists of KIA, WIA, MIA of every one in our regiment. I told her in act of extreme ego (in retrospect) that she wouldn't see my name on the KIA list. I wasn't known for such confidence, but she was pretty happy. I guess she wanted me to think that way to give us both hope. Hope is one of the most prevalent intangible ideals, other than love, hate, and faith.
If I ever get home, I will never take our relationship for granted. There will be no lack of appreciation for what I have. I would give just about anything to wake up, not in a frozen foxhole, but with in arm's reach of her soft, rosy colored skin. At the least I want to wake up anywhere but here. I dreamed about her long, black, flowing hair in the wind. I dream about that beach and the sea breeze near the base. I dream about what the neighbors must feel, maybe having lost sons, fathers, sisters, etc.
The current enemy has no respect for life, ours or their own. They shoot their brothers who intelligently fall back. Lt. D'Mornay told me a rumor about them killing their civilians and blaming it on us. It seemed too unbelievable, but it did not surprise me considering their brutality.
If I have kids, I would never want them to act as irresponsibly we humans have. It is here I witness this vicious cycle of life, death, victory and defeat that no child should see or experience. Yet sadly, it would be terribly naive of me to say that no children have so far. I hope they would be lovers of peace and harmony. Even most of the Yukes are, yet like me are forced to fight in a war we cannot truly understand.
December 20, 2010- It seems, for the most part, the battle for Zalus is all but over. We drove off yet another full-scale assault. They tried to flank us, attacking from all sides. I think the enemy was suprised we didn't bug out. However, several tanks broke though our defense line. The whole thing degenerated into a brutal street fight. Finally, our tanks broke through sometime later. We were somewhat livid. "Where the fuck were you 3 days ago!" Haley asked angrily.
It was a good thing they came when they did. We were down to nothing in terms of ammo and supplies. Our company lost 15 guys people including Marlowe, Johnson, Ramirez and Brooks. D'Angelis, the guy we all love to hate, bled to death due to a heavy sniper wound. He was in a rarely vulnerable position; he was losing it. Ironically enough, it was his old rival, Roxy that was the first person at his side. The whole time he was like "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh...GOD!" Then there was silence sometime later. The bullet cut the main artery in his leg. Miranda was lucky since it barely missed hers.
I, for one, was sad he was gone. He may have been an ostracized individual, but he fought just as hard as anyone ever did. Past his faults, he was an excellent soldier. He never let us down. He pissed some of us off, but he never let us down. I swear the moment he died, it started snowing even harder. It was so freaky.
The losses were lower than we thought, but some companies took heavy losses. I remeber one company of the 118th had only 37 combat-ready members remaining. All the officers were killed off by sniper fire or other horrible means. They didn't take any prisoners and neither did we.
However, we must collect ourselves. One of the last pocket of the Yuke resistance lies in Myzem. General Collins is sending everyone to surround the city. Now we march once again, hopefully being able to put an end to all this. Jen...just a few more days. Please. Please God, let me make it home...
December 21, 2010-As we move towards Myzem, little resistance is found. We are the on the far edge of the line, with Marines from the 4th Division supporting us on the MLR. One guy told me stories about the Tangra, things I couldn't believe. He told me at the earlier, the Tangra had civilian hostages and POWs and were threatening to shoot if they did not hand over POWs we'd captured, they'd kill them. Their commander oddly enough agreed...but as the two groups advanced they were shot down by those red shirt bastards. Later, it was discovered that the "hostages" were their own comrades in the paratroops! He told me about some prisoners who say that enemy command structure is in chaos. The paratrooper divisions are getting the shaft in terms of supplies; all the best stuff is going to the Tangra, despite the fact they've yet to win a single battle. It seems the Airborne command can do little since they're all outranked. I bet the airborne commander's like ,"With allies like these, who needs enemies?"
I were sort of behind in the news. We haven't had any news reports lately. I have been hearing even more rumors about the Wardog squadron being shot down. I still don't believe it. Tell me the truth or nothing at all is my school of thought. What good does news do us here? We're almost to the city. Some can taste blood. They want to exact revenge on the Tangra and smash any Yukes in our way. I can't worry about vengeance. I'm so close to being able to go home. I have to tread carefully. Take care of myself...ah, that's bullshit. I'm going to inevitably do something crazy because like most of us in the Airborne...we're fucking crazy. We jump out of airplanes! Can you get anymore crazy than that? We're all crazy together. That's why were closer than most infantry divisions. We'll make it out. I'll make it out. No time for complicated thoughts. It's almost over...
December 22, 2010- I sit exhausted surrounded by death and darkness as the icy mist and choking smoke fills the air. The city of Myzem seems to bleed from every pore.
We learned from prisoners that the Ovanji Tangra were ordered to guard the city to the last man. The infantry division that was defending the city was relived and now the red psychos hold the line. If they wanted to fight to the death, they were gonna get it.
We were ordered to simply advance. It made no sense. No artillery support. The air force was tied up with Yuke planes. So we had to run like hell was nipping at our heels. We were raked by everything. Everyone seemed to scatter. I was cut off from my squad, and those behind me were getting cut down. Everyone took cover behind wreckage, mounds, and in some cases, headstones. Roxy and I made it to the buildings; however, we did not know about everyone taking cover until we turned. There was just too much noise. Everyone was pinned down. We had no tank support in our area. We were trapped, and going back would be suicide. At this point, I had to make a decision. All the enemies were concentrated in the buildings. We had to clear it or the guys are just gonna take further damage. We fixed bayonets...
We chucked grenades in the buildings, and ran in shooting, stabbing, slaying our way to the top. We were possessed. We shot up and down stairs, around corners, through doors and walls. 50 dead Yukes later, I radioed in telling everything's clear. I hadn't realized that Captain Jones was trying to get in contact with me the whole time. Everyone surged into the city. There was no time to reflect, we still had a long way to go. Street by street, corner by corner was paid with Osean blood. By the time we got to the city center, we'd lost half our company. Sgt. Andy Lally, was one them. Our good friend, our "tank sniper", killed by a stray bullet that pierced one of the TOW rockets, killing him and Pvt. Pratt. Seville went nuts. He just started shooting like a madman, yelling obscenities every other word. Lt. Sabon tried to calm him down...but he was killed by a sniper not 10 minutes later. He just turned a corner...and another platoon leader was lost.
We approached the city center. It was chaos. They'd had plenty of time to prepare for our attack. But ironically, it was one of them that sealed their fate. They holed up in the courthouse...there was no way in hell I was going through that building. Then suddenly...and enemy plane crashed into it! Thank god! That did it. They all poured out there right into out guns. The regular Yuke soldiers, paratroopers as we later found out, mostly surrendered without a fight throughout the battle. The Tangra were determined to die fighting; we obliged them. For 13 hours, we fought and outfought the best the Yukes had to offer.
It was over when we took the city square. I remember that there was a Yuke flag on top of the courthouse. As the soldiers came out to surrender, my remaining squad went inside with elements of what remained of our company. SSgt Reese had been killed in the fighting outside; it left me platoon sergeant. As we cleared the place out we decided to go up and take down the enemy flag and put ours up. Pvt. Bennings actually had a flag with him. It was strange, carrying one around, but it came in handy here. So myself, Dave, Haley, George Bennings, Asuka, and Peter ran up to the roof. We lowered the Yuke flag in plain view of everyone down there. As the rest of the city slowly fell into our hands, the raising of the flag was a fleeting joy. For 13 hours, we fought and outfought the best the Yukes had to offer. However, we'd lost so many. Our company isn't really a company anymore.
Dave Gordon, my best friend in the world and one of the few guys in the company that hadn't taken a single injury, actually broke down and cried after that. Haley was doing the same. George and Asuka were jumping around all happy. I guess they were happy everything was over. However, that could not shake the humanity we'd lost. They did a good job of hiding it; everyone died a little inside; the soldiers who survived and the few straggling civilians that were trapped here. We all died inside.
December 23, 2010- We finally have an official death toll on our company. We've lost 70 people. I couldn't believe it. I mean dead. The living were still able to fight. It was bizarre. Among the dead are: platoon leaders Sabon and Masterson, Ramierz, Knowles, Reese, Carter,Webber, D'Angelis, Johnny Allen, Marlowe, Murphy, Howard, Lally, Pratt, Brooks, Ronny Johnson, Dalton, Kieran, Milton, Sasby, Callahan, Smith, Gibson, Woolward, Larsas, Vianoff. Among the lucky few to have survived this hell: Lts. D'Mornay, Dovitsio, Harris, Gillory, SSgt Macdowell, Burns, Christenson, Gordon, Miranda Allen, Freddie Johnson, Johannssen, Bennings, Elliot, Lewis, Wong, Yoko, Raji, Morrison, Valentine, Seville, Van Obierk, Hardy, Garcia, and myself.
Dalton and Reese's families lived just down the street from me. I expect Jen and all the others to get a lot of sad letters. It's just idiotic how many have died in this region. I can't believe we're taking this many casualties in this day and age. But as D'Angelis would say, "That's them breaks." The way it is, is the way it is. I wrote that Jen and I know many of the people in the regiment. Many have wives, husbands, kids, parents. Some of them were only kids, barely out of high school. Carter was only 19 years old. SSgts Price and Reese left behind families. Reese had 5 kids.
I saw a rare side of Lt. D'Mornay. I saw her sitting in a foxhole looking at the bodies her good friends Lt. Dutch and Lt. Aora from November company of the 118th PIR . She was just broken. Johnson had lost 2 brothers in this war. The other was in 11th Armored. Seville, Dave and I lost a good friend. Miranda had lost her brother. The father/son Dalton duo (his father was in Delta Company) both died on the same day. Hardy lost several friends and a brother. Morrison and Yoko lost his best friend and mortar team member, Gibson. I cant take much more of this...
Even the non-combatants were not spared. Many were caught in the crossfire of this tragic struggle. Thankfully my own sister-in-law, Alice Kamprand, survived. I have no idea how she's managed to stay alive; especailly since she's the only one of Jen's family that I can stand to listen to. She's the regimental news writer for the "Angel Warriors", a newsletter exclusively for the 117th PIR. She'd written many stories about us. She had an article about each company in the regiment per week. I remember when she covered our company's was the same week we'd secured Sevaspol. It was nice being in the limelight for once. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw the carnage and sheer destruction. I swear this woman was gonna hurl. There was just so many. She immediately wrote about the destruction she'd seen. "This is what it means to be a soldier," she wrote, "to continue with a stoic outlook on death while in view. In private, those memories one cannot reject. To see a living hell, and still march toward with so few. This is what it means to be a soldier: to them I owe my respect."
December 25, 2010- I received notice of my promotion to Staff Sergeant. A lot of people got promoted. Almost all the original St. Augustine privates are now NCOs. Captain Jones has moved up to battalion staff. Now a new Captain D'Mornay leads the company, with 1st Lieutenant Harris as company XO.
It is official; all resistance in the Rydling pocket has come to an end. The remains of Army Group Telemark has surrendered; 50,000 Yukes of the 10th Airborne Honor Guard, 123rd Airborne Sharpshooter Division, 815th Infantry Division, and 10th Airborne Armored Division. The Tangra Divisions were almost completely wiped out. We were relieved. There were things here neither us nor them would never want to see again. Yesterday, we were ordered to continue northward. It pissed us off. We were in horrible shape, not to mention the rest of the regiment. Some were still shocked by the carnage of this whole thing. Some were going to break like twigs.
The top brass seems to always want fast results, and we've been paying the price for it. Of course, heaven forbid General Collins to put his own divisions on the line!
So off for Telemark we went. My squad was in the lead, or what was left of us. What happened next astounded us. We stumbled upon a small town; white flags were all over the place. They'd just given up, a whole regiment's worth of them. I was approached by an officer, a Captain I think, who commanded the regiment. He must of mistook me for an officer at first. He told me the location of their Division HQ and the some 40,000 in the area who were ready to surrender. I tell Wong to go fetch an officer.
So our company shows up, with elements of 1st and 2nd Battalions. We get led to the enemy HQ, Telemark. This town is at the base of a 2500ft. mountain and it is something out of a fairytale. There were white snowcapped peaks, houses that looked like they were made from gingerbread, castles, old armor suits around, cobblestone streets. This would be a fabulous place to live. If something happens to me that I couldn't be in the airborne anymore, we are moving here. I'm serious. Most of us were put on guard duty, but for those lucky few like me, we got to meet the big man in charge.
Captain D'Mornay was introduced to the Division commander, a Brig. General Jabon Mizzirym and his adjutant Colonel Doten Minov. She knew no Yuktobanian; but I did, so I had to translate. They were good sports about it though. He said he was ordered to high command to burn the city and fall back to Cinigrad. He obviously refused. He said he took take no more of his superiors' foolish orders. There were 250,000 civlian refugees in the area. He had this remorseful attitude, saying he in fact had no control over the Ovanji Tangra. Their commander had taken his own life in order to evade capture. There was no way he was going to destroy his hometown in a fight he could not win. Then he talked about us, saying he knew much about us. He called us the "Razgriz of the ground"; I think it was out of respect from one paratrooper to another. So as he was led out by some of our guys, she turns to us with a smile (Dave, Johannson, van Obierk, Seville and myself), and says "You guys better take what you want before the brass get here." We needed no explanation and wasted no time. There were a lot of priceless artifacts there. They belonged to the Tangra's division commander and his staff. Do I feel guilty about this? No. These ruthless people were not soldiers, just murderers who had no concern for human life, theirs, ours, their allies, their families.
I managed to get my hands on a jewel encrusted sword that belonged to one of those guys. The captain, along with her friends in the quartermasters hid all the loot we and the rest of the battalion had and quietly began shipping it back home. It was a great feeling, almost as if the war was already over.
December 26, 2010- We received the shock of our lives earlier today. We were moving off the line. Not only that, we were going back home! Our fellow troopers in 13th Airborne are going to relieve us after Ocktabursk finally surrendered two days ago. The Yuke Army is coming apart at the seams.
We were transported back to Vijrundi, and it was a long ride. We were torn, Telemark was heaven compared to Sevaspol; however, a ticket home, even if it's for a short time, was also paradise. When our regiment got to Virjundi, we were greeted by the revered General Grambling, our division commander. He gave us long speech about our accomplishments, saying we'd become very famous for our actions in Rydling. Citations for medals were read by our regiment CO, Col. Lavitz. There only about 800 of us there out of the original 1,484 in the regiment. There were 25 Bronze Angel recipients, 13 Silver Angel recipients, 5 Angel Cross recipients(Dave Gordon being one of them), and 7 Seraphim Cross winners: myself and Roxy, Pvt.(now Cpl) Johansson, and Sgt. Rodney Ramsey of Delta company being the only living ones to get the award. They called us "Guardian Angels", the nickname for Seraphim Cross winners in our division. Captain D'Mornay was presented with her actual medal for leading a bayonet charge and wiping out an enemy company on D-Day. She was the first female paratrooper to actually get the award. We were all filled with immense pride, especially when they read out each of our citations for "valor unprecedented and a commitment to duty beyond any soldier."
Mine read something like this, "In a daring act of skill and bravery against an overwhelming and unrelenting enemy, this individual made a difficult decision to engage the enemy regardless of his own life. He and his fellow comrade-in-arms overcame the enemy and saved countless lives." I didn't think much of it; it was just something that had to be done. I became the 16th person in this whole struggle to have this citation. Our regiment also won a Unit Citation for its actions. I was, according to what I've heard, the most decorated paratrooper in our country's history. So far, I had four purple hearts, five medals, two citations. Most people don't even get one. I'd say a quarter of the division that's still alive as at least one medal. I have five. Everyone in this division deserves a medal I think, even the dead. Of course, who ever said a soldier will fight hard for a medal was full of shit. No one came here to get medals.
Now, we're waiting to head home. We were told that we'd probably be redeployed within a week but we'll get 3 days at the very least. It didn't matter. If I just go home and be with the one I love, even if it's just for two hours, the foxholes, the sticky humid weather, the bitter cold, the constant artillery, bullets whizzing by my head, the constant death...it will all be worth it.
December 27, 2010- Once we returned to Sierra City and Fort Augustine, it was like something out of a dream. It was surreal. Stepping off those planes at Black Creek AB, we could feel the sunlight glow of the early morning. We were extremely happy to be home and not in Rydling. It was just an idyllic scene. We were all jumping up and down, hugging and patting each other on the back. Smokes were passed around. I remember Cpl. Cantrell from 2nd Squad actually kissed the ground. However, there were still the lingering thoughts about those who could not be here; those that are lying in warehouses in body bags waiting to be brought home.
So after our euphoria died down a bit, we dumped our gear. Before we left Vijrundi, we were told we'd be participating in a regimental parade throughout Sierra City. Everyone was told ahead of time to be there to welcome us at 1100 hrs. And man… when we marched out there, we were like movie stars. Everyone was there. I mean everyone, at least as far as I could tell. There are 250,000 people in the city, and there were probably 200,000 of them there. There in the buildings, on the street, on the roofs. They had so many signs, welcoming us home. The cheers were deafening. I could see some people's faces though, people who'd known loss. Maybe they were from our company, or maybe Delta or Gamma Company. A little under 1,500 soldiers jumped into Yuktobania. We left with only 819. We'd lost 665 soldiers, 514 were KIA. That was about a 1 in 3 chance of becoming a casualty; and about 75 to 78 chance of actually being killed. We were damn lucky.
However, that thought quickly vanished as we basked in the glory of our success. For those few hours, we were the most important people in Osea. We'd taken everything that was thrown at us and threw it back. We'd been in those uncomfortable trenches in Bastok, endured the constant rain in Sonza, the unbearable heat of Jilachi, and the bitter cold of Rydling; all in 2 months. After the parade, we got a 72-hour pass. To hope for an end to the war in this time would be a pipe dream. I thought, "Thank God!" We can finally go back to our town of Moonwater. Some wanted to go and celebrate; I just wanted to go home to a place where I'm not getting shot at, and to a person that prayed and dreamed about me for nearly 4 months.
Our house is small, but hey, it's a home regardless. I wish I had a picture of her facial expression when she saw me. I had never seen anyone so happy. I hate to see her cry, but this time I didn't try to stop her. Hell, I felt like crying too. I only didn't because my soul seems to have been hardened only just enough to prevent any visible signs of vulnerability. So this is what I've fought so hard for; the chance to be with someone who loved me unconditionally. A person who completely understood everything I stood for. A person who knew what I'd gone through to simply spend a night, much less five minutes in her arms. A person who knew about those who gave their lives so that I could be here and the subsequent trauma it has caused. A person who knows that despite my longing to be here, I would starve, freeze, bleed or die for her or anybody in the paratroops who shared a foxhole with me. So Jen, SSgt Price, Andy, I thank you.
December 29, 2010- I remember writing about "if I had kids". Well, there may no longer an "if"! It's been a wonderful time so far. We'd go to clubs, despite the fact that I cannot dance worth a shit. Everyone was just so appreciative. Well, most. Some people were bitter about the whole war. I wasn't too up to date on military affairs as a whole, but I came here to relax and get away from the frontlines. We went a fancy restaurant, and ate on the house! It was unbelievable. It seems like a aura of peace already.
I read some of Alice's articles in the "Sky Warrior" about the Rydling battles. I had no idea it was a million times worse than we thought. The official casualty count was up towards 36,000-40,000. The human losses were staggering, even for modern times. Approximately 25,000 officers and men of all the branches died there. Our Division alone, about 15,000 strong, had casualty count of 6,000 with about 4,900 dead. The Yukes apparently lost 65,000 men killed, wounded, or captured. They called it "death on a scale unmatched except for the end of the Belkan war". Most of the dead were those freaks in the Ovanji Tangra.
In our town, there is a large memorial for all those killed in action. Every name of every paratrooper since 1950 who has died in combat is there. My grandfather's name is there on Wall 3. He was the CO of E Company of the 117th when it was activated in 1984, and was killed in 1986 in the First Verusian conflict a year I was born. Jen and I, along with Dave and Renee, his fiancée (the air traffic controller from nearby Black Creek Air Base), Alice, and some others visited as they were adding names to the new wall. We didn't stay very long. They printed 4 names and Wong, who was with us, just left saying, "I can't take it anymore..." They were some of his good friends, all replacements like him.
We were told that we'd be back in combat soon, but that thought vanished from my mind. Even as a write this I can finally enjoy the rather simple intimacy of a beautiful woman snoring on my shoulder. I'll never take it for granted again...
However, even now, how do I explain all I've seen to her? There are things I have seen...things that I dare not recall but still reside in my memory. There are some things that would shock even the most iron-stomached person.
