A/N: Thank you for reviewing; for the most part we have the confusing bits outta the way. Now it's on to humor and fun! Just so ya know, the song in this chapter is a completely made up song...added by 'Mr. Bickles'.

Phantom of the Music Biz: Genie Gypped

Chapter Five: Mayhem is a Snap

A few weeks before opening night...

"This is whack man," Reggie grumbled.

"Yeah, something is seriously wrong with Mr. Bickles," Bri agreed.

"There'd have to be something wrong with him," Vicky seethed, "he cast that air headed pop diva as my professional singing opponent!"

"Hmph," Camille smirked thoughtfully, "she's your rival both on and off the stage now. What irony."

"So where'd Chip get too?" Bri questioned glancing around.

"He's staying at that hotel a few miles down from our apartments." Vicky answered, "Of course the princess of prissiness has a room there too."

"And speaking of Vicky's admirers," Troy spoke up angrily, "that Mark guy has some nerve showin' up and snatching my part right out from under me!"

Right on cue a black haired teen with wide admiring crimson eyes practically floated up to Vicky. "There you are Vicky my darling!" he swooned, "I have been looking over the script as the poofy pants director has instructed and I am most pleased with the ending!"

"Wonder why," Bri muttered.

"Perhaps I might now have a moment of your time so that we may speak in private?" Mark asked batting his eyes hopefully.

"Ugh..." Vicky grimaced, "only if you promise to keep your slimy hands off of me and beat it for the rest of the day."

"It is a deal oh voluptuous one!" he bounced happily.

"Dude," Reggie blinked, "where'd that guy say he was from?"


Near the new building a brown haired boy with a pink hat stooped down behind the hedges and awaited the appearance of his accomplices.

He didn't have to wait for long...

Poof!

"Hi Timmy!" a green haired fairy beamed floating over the bushes in plain view.

"Cosmo get down!" Timmy panicked jerking his fairy godfather behind the hedge.

Poof!

"Oh great," Wanda sighed staring down at Timmy who had Cosmo's wrist in a vice grip, "I take a few extra seconds to adjust my crown and Cosmo nearly goes and exposes our existence...again."

Exhaling in relief that the brains of the outfit was now present Timmy briefed them on their situation. "Okay, the last time we were here we definitely saw some crazy stuff happening."

"Yeah, like Britney Britney getting cast in the secondary lead female role while Vicky got to keep her lead part." Cosmo noted.

"Well...yeah," Timmy shrugged, "but what I meant was all these celebrities showing up to star in some lame college play, those two suspicious characters in the front row, and Mark leaving the shelter of the Dimmadump to chase after Vicky again!"

"Hm, maybe the Yugopotamian spacecraft heading towards Earth has something to do with that last part?" Wanda wondered aloud.

"WHAT!" Timmy burst out.

"Oh, that's right." Cosmo laughed conking himself in the head, "I was supposed to tell you. Wanda and I spotted Mark's parents heading towards Earth in a heavily armed war vessel."

Timmy's blue eyes bugged out, "You forgot! How can you forget to tell me something that important Cosmo!"

With an ear-to-ear smile he dug something out from his pocket and exclaimed, "I got distracted by this shiny nickel!"

"Mark's parents are probably here to take him back to Yugopotamia. I bet they figure he'll be around Vicky." Timmy guessed.

"And they'd be right!" Cosmo remarked cheerfully.

"But if they get here and Mark tries to take Vicky back with him again Chip will be crushed," Timmy pointed out.

"And that would be bad," Cosmo frowned.

"So there's only one thing to do!" Wanda concluded.

"Yep!" Timmy agreed, "We've gotta stake out Vicky until Mark's parents arrive!"

"And it wouldn't hurt if we could find out who's behind all the powerful magic that created this odd fiasco," Wanda added.

"But wait..." Cosmo objected as the wheels in his empty head finally started turning, "if the alien's parents arrive won't they just drag their son back to Yugopotamia and force him to marry that cute yet hostile warrior princess alien (who I'm not allowed to fawn over)?"

"Oh he's a big boy now Cosmo," Wanda wagged her finger, "and a prince! It's time he stopped running away from his problems and faced them head on. What's the worse that could happen?"

"Their families could unite their military combat forces and blow up the Earth." Timmy stated blandly. Maybe Mark dragging Vicky back to Yugopotamia with him wouldn't be so bad? I'm only four years away from sixteen and Chip shouldn't have too much trouble getting a new girlfriend...

"Well—uh—let's cross that bridge when we come to it?" Wanda stammered.

"Works for me!" Cosmo cried joyously, "Yay not thinking ahead! It's made me who I am today!"

Shaking her head Wanda sighed, "Were truer words ever spoken?"


A few picnic tables were scattered on the lawn beside the on-campus theatre. At one of these tables sat a very smug looking genie who watched with unmasked pride as his 'master' paced back and forth in frustration.

"I can't believe you Norm!" she finally shouted, "You're supposed to be helping me out here—or at least staying out of things—and all you've done is complicate everything!"

"Stop, you're ripping my heart out," he chuckled.

"Don't tempt me..." she warned.

Crossing his legs (yeah he'd finally snapped his misty lower half into a pair of human legs in beige slacks) he leaned back against the table and smirked. His bright companion didn't know it yet but he'd just set every piece into motion so that by the end of the game he'd come out the victor.

Not only do I get to ruin the love fairy's little matchmaking arrangement but once Turner shows up for the play (which—thanks to yours truly—will be a total disaster) I can exact my ultimate revenge!

"Ahahahaha!"

"Norm," Tootie poked him with narrowed eyes, "you're doing the whole 'outburst of evil laughter' thing again."

"Am I?" he blinked then shrugged, "Ah well, how was it? I mean did it sound intimidating? Or do you think it could use more work?"

Slapping a hand to her face she mumbled, "I really wish you would stop bugging me so I can focus on this mission."

The genie's violet eyes sparkled with mischief behind his designer shades. "You've got it puddin' cup," in a snap he'd transformed into an insect, "I'll never BUG you again!"

GONG!

With that Norm morphed back into his disguised human form.

Tootie growled in annoyance while he laughed at his clever trick. "Face it kid, you can't outwit me. I'm a fifty thousand year old genie!"

Before she could barrage him with insults a twelve-year-old really shouldn't be saying her communicator beeped.

"Oh no..." she moaned reluctantly pressing the button, "...here it comes."

"What in she-loves-me-nots is going on down there!" the pink haired cherub's image yelled. "I send you to stop one little alien from breaking up a fragile relationship and you bumble it up so bad that Chip and Vicky are practically on the rocks!"

Glaring sideways at Norm she replied, "There's been some random complications sir."

Ruining her sister's relationship and getting back at Turner, Norm mused looking quite pleased with himself, Just killing two birds with one stone.

"I don't want excuses young lady," Cupid snapped, "if you can't handle this then fine. I'll be glad to send in an expert!"

"No!" she shouted, "Please, I'll handle it Cupid. I promise!"

The cherub seemed hesitant but finally caved, "Alrighty then, ONE more shot. But if you blow this mission you can kiss your own love life good-bye!"

"Ouch," Norm grinned as the holograph disappeared. Make that three birds with one stone.


"What!" Brad gasped from the other line as Mr. Bickles chatted away on his cell phone inside the theatre. "Are you for real?"

"That's right Mr. Cuspidor, Chip Skylark is now our leading male! And Britney Britney has just agreed to play the second lead female role as Ms. Vicky's singing rival!"

"Dude!" Brad exclaimed excitedly, "If that's the case then you can count on a lot more than just a segment on my show! Heck, I'll televise the full production live on opening night!"

"REALLY!" Mr. Bickles squeaked, "That's fabulous! Oh wait til I tell the students!"


"Okay loser this is far enough," Vicky fumed jerking her arm out of Mark's grasp once they were halfway down to the parking lot.

Mark seemed okay with this as he turned and paused, clearing his throat before beginning. "Beloved Vicky, my cruel hearted bringer of pain and fear to children, you have probably been curious as to why I have waited until this moment to come calling upon you again."

"Not really," she remarked nonchalantly.

"The reason is that my parents are traveling now from my home world-"

"You mean Europe?" she corrected.

"Uh...right." he lied, remembering that she still thought he was some 'foreign exchange student', "Anyways, they like totally want to drag me back home and possibly force me to wed ManDIE, a warrior princess from—um—"

Rolling her eyes she guessed, "Asia? Africa? South America?"

"Yeah, let's go with that last one." he nodded, "The point is that I do not wish to marry her! For I am in love with you my sweet tormentor!"

"Well in case you hadn't noticed dweb, I am in love with someone else!"

Mark's eyes narrowed, "Do you refer to that hideously flawless male from the theatre? The one with the perfectly in-tune voice and blinding smile?"

"Yep," she smiled in a daydreaming sort of way, "and his name is Chip Skylark."

"Ha! I fear no threat from that puny Earth punk!" Mark declared, "For I am a warrior prince! What can he possibly have to offer you that I cannot?"

"Well let's see," Vicky grinned deviously and began counting things off on her fingers, "for starters he's cuter, well mannered, thoughtful, charming, romantic..."

"Ugh," Mark grimaced, "and what of his good qualities?"

"Those are his good qualities nimrod!" Vicky exclaimed.

Mark seemed more confident than ever now, "Ah-ha! Just as I suspected! This weak little human has nothing to offer you my love! Winning back your heart from this oh-so-feeble of rivals shall prove quite effortless!"

"Ya know this school has a psychology department," Vicky informed him blandly, "you should seek help."

Mark remained undaunted as she brushed past him and headed back to her friends. With a spark of determination in his crimson eyes he vowed, "My parents will arrive just after our first performance. And I swear on all that is vile that by then I shall have won back Vicky from the lowly Earth punk and have her return to Yugopotamia with me!"


Later that evening everyone was back in the theatre for rehearsal. Mr. Bickles was very strict when it came to perfecting every last detail of 'his masterpiece'; especially now that the whole thing was going to be broadcasted live on national television.

"Now, we're going to skip around a bit here people." he informed them, "Miles I'm gonna need you out here in the seats pretending to be the director for the big talent search. Remember now this is a contest to decide who gets to be the hot new female vocalist for the hit record company!"

"And the winner gets to star in multiple music videos and have her own worldwide concert tour...blah blah blah...fame, merchandising, groupies..." Troy muttered from overhead where he was in charge of positioning the spotlight.

"What?" Britney Britney gasped, "A worldwide concert tour, merchandising, and multiple music videos? How can they expect me to pass all that up!"

"Your script says you blow it by losing your voice during the audition," Bri reminded her with a threatening edge to her voice, "So just do the scene sweetheart."

"Hmph," Britney snatched the bottle of throat spray from Chip on her way out onto the stage, "typical pretty girl haters. I'll show them all what real talent is."

From out in the audience Norm frowned at the prissy blonde. No one was going to mess up his plans; he'd worked too hard to set everything up just right. So if the pop diva wanted a fight he'd give her one...

GONG!

Instantly the liquid inside the bottle was replaced with super carbonated soda. Britney failed to notice as she sprayed the stuff into her mouth.

"Mmm...grapey!"

Clearing her throat she prepared to dazzle everyone with her perky angelic voice.

"BURP!"

Norm snickered while everyone else was frozen in shock.

Coughing a bit she blushed and tried again.

"Do-ray-me-BELCH!"

This time several of the spectators started to crack up.

"Oh my gosh!" Britney exclaimed in utter embarrassment. "I—BURP! I—BELCH! I—BURP!"

Even Chip had started laughing by this point. Vicky could hardly contain her amusement as she and Bri both clutched their aching sides and doubled over onto the floor.

Tootie fought off a grin and glanced over at Norm, "I don't remember reading that in the script."

"You know that Bickles guy," the genie smirked, "always rewriting the lines."

Britney locked eyes with the snickering 'talent scout' and squealed, "EEEK!" before rushing offstage mortified that she'd humiliated herself in front of a potential big record company representative.

Mr. Bickles suppressed some chuckles of his own as he called out to the cast, "Alright now everyone simmer down! The show must go on! Interesting improvising Ms. Britney. Miles, I believe that now is the time for you to call Vicky forward for her audition."

In the back rows Timmy and Cosmo were rolling in the aisles with laughter. Wanda had to poof them both up a muzzle so they wouldn't blow their cover. As amusing as she had found the overrated pop diva's uncontrollable burping she knew better than to get careless and risk exposure.

"Okay you two, snap out of it." she smiled, "Vicky's up next and there's no telling what could happen."

Miles called Vicky up onto the stage and took his seat as she prepared to sing her part. She skimmed the room warily first. Admittedly Britney's little mishap had made her a bit uneasy about performing...what if she was next to screw up?

Please don't sway

I wish you'd stay

But I want my pay!

I'll watch the little twerp for you

All you need is ask me to

And throw in some free pay per-view!

I'll make him wash your car

In outfits most bizarre

And then his esteem I'll mar

So stay a little longer

Grow a little fonder

Just do it over yonder

Cause I'm still babysitting

In case you were forgetting

Timmy's still bed wetting!

Forgetting himself Timmy shot up abruptly from his hiding place, "HEY! No I'm not!"

All eyes fell on the enraged boy.

"Timmy?" Chip gasped.

"TWERP!" Vicky screeched, "What the heck are you doing here!"

"Turner?" Norm questioned tapping down his shades. It IS the bratty kid! Ha! This gives me an idea!

"Timmy?" through her peripheral vision Tootie managed to spot Norm in mid-snap. "NO!" she sprang onto him but not fast enough.

GONG!

"Do you mind!" the genie glared up at her angry expression.

"TIMMY!" Mr. Bickles squealed in delight, "I'm so glad you could make it!"

"You are?" the twelve-year-old blinked.

"Of course!" Mr. Bickles beamed, "Miles seems to have suddenly lost his voice so he won't be able to play the role of director in the play!"

Miles opened his mouth to object but found that his voice had indeed disappeared!

"Norm..." Tootie growled pushing herself back to her seat.

"Relax kid, he'll get it back..." Norm replied brushing off his arms and smoothing out his slacks, "...AFTER opening night."

"Whoa!" Reggie protested, "You're casting some kid in the play when you've got the rest of the drama department playing minor roles or doin' stage work!"

"Bogus man," Troy shook his head disapprovingly.

"Did I mention that this play counts as your midterm project?" Mr. Bickles remarked slyly, "And we all know that midterms count for approximately one-third of your overall grade for the semester. So let's not be questioning the director hm?"

This seemed to shut the students up. No one could summon up the guts to dare risk flunking their mid-term.

Reluctantly Timmy approached the stage and took the speechless student's place as director in the play. Two other 'kids' followed who he quickly explained were there to act as his assistant directors.

"Um...okay Ms. Vicky...action?" he mumbled nervously.

Muttering a few choice words beneath her breath Vicky reluctantly resumed her song.

In closing remember this

When parents need a break from their kids

Just call on—VICKY'S BABYSITTING SERVICE!

As a show of surrender to their director's insane alterations the students all applauded and continued with rehearsal as though nothing was amiss.

"What!" Timmy was astounded, "You mean they actually liked that garbage!"

GONG!

A sand bag dropped from the roof and smashed apart the seat in front of him. "Uh...I mean...congratulations Vicky; you're the new lead singer!"

"Really?" she asked in mock disbelief.

Cosmo and Wanda nervously nodded while staring warily at the ceiling.

"And now may I introduce everyone to our new producer, all the way from Yugopotamia, Chevy!" Timmy announced.

Vicky's pink pupils shrank when she saw her mindless admirer burst through the doors in something that resembled some kind of regal alien robes you'd see in a cheesy space movie.

"Vicky, my love! It is I, Chevy! What's up!" Mark exclaimed eagerly rushing towards her.

"Ugh...why can't you just stay in Europe?" she asked with apparent disinterest.

"This oughtta be good." Timmy whispered to Cosmo and Wanda.

"But Timmy," Cosmo objected, "what about Chip? He loves Vicky, and she may actually love him! How can you be rooting for the old boyfriend?"

"Duh," Timmy smirked, "because he'll make her life miserable. And they'll move like a trillion miles away!"

"Aw but honey," Wanda added, "think of it from a different perspective. What if I had chosen Wandissimo instead of Cosmo? Sure he was my first boyfriend but he was also a big self righteous jerk."

"Who cares?" Timmy folded his arms stubbornly, "It's Vicky!"

"B-but Chip," Cosmo whimpered.

"Chip can marry some other girl. Like Britney Britney," Timmy shrugged.

"I think he'd rather marry Vicky." Wanda pointed up to the balcony where Chip was glaring daggers down at Mark.

"Can we move on to the next big scene now?" Vicky grumbled.

"Of course," Mr. Bickles beamed, "Next we should work on the scene where the Phantom lures Vicky down into his dark domain to praise her for achieving victory in the big competition!"

"Whatever." Vicky sighed as the curtains were drawn.


Amanda/Artiste: Ow my aching shoulders, bad posture while typing can lead to stiff muscles. And that's my daily observation of the obvious. Next Chapter: Find out what Timmy's parents have to say about him being cast in the play. Chip Skylark must once again face the bizarre terror that is Timmy's dad. Tootie worries that Cupid will fire her and Norm continues plotting Turner's televised downfall! Keep reviewing please!

Mr. Crocker: :outraged: Hey! How come I'm not in this story!

Mrs. Turner: Oh wah, don't you ever stop whining?

Mr. Crocker: FaIrIeS!

Mr. Turner: Gah! He's handsome AND articulate! Honey, stay back! :grabs his wife and clutches her possessively: MINE!

:Norm's hovering off to the side.:

Norm: :sarcastically: Oh great, a whole town full of screwballs.