Drool Masters
Note: A parody of the horrible anime series "Duel Masters". Babies can play card games ? Well, in the realm of anime anything (and I mean anything) is possible. Shogoo is the main character.
Main Theme
Get in The Powder Zone !
Liars !
Drool Masters !
Farters !
Drool Masters !
Biters !
Drool Masters !
Barkers !
Drool Masters !
Who's got a diapered derrière ?
Shogoo !
Wets his pants most everywhere ?
Shogoo !
Waging pacifiers in the zone
Shogoo !
One day he'll take the winnings home !
Shogoo !
Drool Masters !
Drool Masters !
The Powder Zone !
Chapter 1—Enter The Powder Zone
Shogoo had been playing the game of Drool Masters since he was born and he was passionate about becoming the Master of the game. He had won many games even before he learned how to walk and talk. The only function he hadn't been able to grasp was potty training and his weak bladder. If it became tense during a duel he would usually wet himself or worse.
When the latter happened, his opponents would usually leave the Powder Zone gasping for air, exclaiming, "Air ! I need air !" Other would laugh until they had caught a whiff of Shogoo's foul stench. It wasn't something that spectators admired about him. In layman's terms, he reeked.
It was a typical day and Shogoo had entered the Powder Zone to wager some powerful pacifiers that he had found along his travels with his friends and fans. Even at his young age, he had an entourage of lovely debutantes following him wherever he went. Some even went as far as to call him Mac Daddy, but others thought that was going a little too far and he didn't need an ego boost. His perception of reality was already distorted and he didn't need to be more confused and clueless as he was most of the time.
Shogoo met his opponent, another baby his age who had victory set in his mind and conquest in his hands. Or so he thought. The infant's name was Rash, which explained his character as well as the unfortunate affliction he endured. Sadly, Rash was allergic to certain elements such as animal dander and different types of pollen. He was already breaking out and looking positively awful but had decided to go ahead and go through with the battle. He wanted to prove himself in the world of Drool Masters and also with his flock of fan-girls that followed him around everywhere he went.
Chapter 2—Thunder Down Under
Rash and Shogoo began battling and Rash was beginning to show his prowess. His confidence had proven him correct and he was beginning to win the game. Shogoo on the other hand, had never had a loss before so he was going to do everything to gain back the upper hand. However, he wouldn't cheat. His family name would be dishonored if he did so and he would have to live with that shame for the rest of his life. He couldn't risk that, and besides the guilt would reside with him wherever he went. It would haunt him and harangue him wherever he would travel. Then, the worst happened. He began to feel his stomach moving. He had given everyone fair warning. Those that were cheering for him realized what was about to happen. Shogoo's nervousness had gotten the better of him yet again. Suddenly, a loud crapatation could be heard and Shogoo's friends already had their gas masks while the other team was already far away from the putrid stench. Poor Rash, who had been winning the game thus far, had passed out from the smell and the referee had given the win to Shogoo. It might've not been an honorable method to win the battle but Shogoo had won once more and had walked away with more pacifiers than any infant could've ever desired.
Chapter 3—Who Will Become Drool Master ?
As the quest continued, Shogoo won more battles and collected new, more powerful cards to add to his deck. Shogoo wanted to become master even if he had to grow up in order to do it, but one thing held him back. He still hadn't become potty trained and he had to take a break for his personal butler to change him every so often. He could do everything else independently but the control over his bladder didn't exist. Until that happened he would never become Master, as he had wanted. But perhaps he wasn't the one chosen. Shogoo didn't mind. It was the game he had come to love and the friends that had made everything worthwhile.
Besides, they were the only ones that could stand behind him even if he accidentally broke wind.
EpilogueShogoo went from place to place battling for "priceless items" in the Powder Zones. He had encountered strange people and even more peculiar places. He had finally mastered the art of the toilet and continue his real journey of becoming Drool Master once more. He was a little older than most children his age to have come to this point in their lives. So, he was a late bloomer and a slow learner when it came to control. He had conquered something he never thought he would be able to. The master tourneys were coming and he would once again enter the battle with more confidence in himself. Perhaps he would become Drool Masters as he had often seen in his dreams. Even if he wasn't the one Chosen to become Master, he could confidently say he had made it to the master tournaments, which many players never had the chance to witness or participate in.
It was a long, rough trip but Shogoo had beaten every opponent that he had faced. Not only could he be proud of the trophy he had won but the prizes that came afterwards and the fact that he now wore big-kid underwear as well as more fashionable clothes. Truthfully, he had been just another card-collecting geek but at least now he could call himself a chic geek. He could now say he was rolling in the dough…Play-Dough that is. He was now more popular than ever and was the envy of every toddler on the block. They only wished they could be as cool as Shogoo. Wherever they went, they sang his theme song to welcome him and he was treated like a king. He couldn't have been more grateful or pleased that he had accomplished so much.
He also knew that the best was yet to come and he could only be prepared for greatness.
The End
May 14, 2005
