Kiss Me, I'm the Chef

A DSL Challenge of Situational Non Sequitur

A/N: Written some while back for DSL: an FF based group. This was dedicated to my friend Tuatha (who still writes here I believe) for her dedication to Auron and our giggles over his one-liners.


"A pinch of paprika and stir gently," the chef said stirring the pot gently. "We let this simmer until volume has reduced by half; add a little wine and it's ready."

"Let me taste it," Rikku demanded with eager enthusiasm in her eyes and her fingers wiggling towards the dish.

A spatula flicked from out of nowhere slapping Rikku's fingers. "No!"

"Ah, you're a meanie!" she exclaimed and turned to Tidus and Yuna sitting behind her. "Isn't he a meanie?"

Yuna surveyed the kitchen and the vast array of cooking utensils, food amidst preparation and the pots and pans on the stove. "Uhm, Rikku, maybe you should just let him do his job," Yuna suggested.

"Yeah Rikku. It was only a spatula, this time," Tidus said with a smile.

With a mock frown Rikku moved away from the kitchen counter but just far enough to watch at a safe distance.

Finally, dinner was ready, the meat presented on a platter with grains and small vegetables; gravy redolent of paprika and red wine sat in a boat next to the platter. In a large bowl was mashed and whipped potatoes with green onions and garlic and butter. Lastly, for desert, a fruit cobbler simmering in its own juices and crusty with sugar.

Everyone settled around the table with ooohs and aaahs as each dish was presented. Auron removed his apron and smiled with pride.

"That's how it's done."