Disclaimer: I own Nada. Except what I make up.

Thanks for the reviews last time. It helped to know that more than two people wanted me to continue

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Home Sweet Home It Is

Ryan stared at the sorry sight that lay before his eyes. It was something that he was used to living in Chino, but not in Newport with the Cohen's. He was so happy and excited to go back to life in the pool house, but now, it was in a small two bedroom apartment in the numbered streets, similar to what Jimmy used to live in. But Ryan wouldn't complain. This was better than nothing. This was better than being in a coma for the past three years. But Ryan couldn't help wanting to know what happened the last three years, that resulted in him living somewhere else.

Sandy walked around and got the wheelchair out of the trunk. He moved over to Ryan's door, and helped him out of the car and into the wheelchair. Sandy shut the door and locked the car, wheeling Ryan over to the door.

"Sandy, Why are you liv…." Ryan began, but Sandy cut him off.

"I'll explain everything when we get inside.

Ryan nodded his head. He knew things were bad, but he had no idea what he was in store for when he got inside. When Sandy opened the door. Ryan saw the filth he was living in for the past year or two. There were pizzas boxes piled on top of boxes all over the floor. There were empty soda bottles on the floor. Beer bottles on the counter, and at least ten empty bottles of vodka sitting next to the couch. He could actually see the ants swarming near the areas where Sandy had spilled food, some of which had mold growing. Ryan couldn't imagine how any single person could live like this, nor could he imagine how they would get a wheelchair into the house with such a mess.

"Sandy?"

"Yea?"

"How am I going to get the wheelchair in the apartment, when this place is such a …."

"Mess, I know. I guess I didn't get a chance to clean it in the past oh couple of months. If I knew you were going to be waking up again, I would have made this place look respectable." Sandy joked, but Ryan was not laughing.

"Not even a Chrismukkah miracle could make this place look respectable." Ryan kidded.

"Sandy, what happened? Why are we living here, and why is this place such a pig sty."

Sandy knew this question would come up. He didn't want to tell him the answer, because he knew how it would make himself look. But Ryan knew Sandy was having trouble with something.

"Well, I guess there is nothing better than the truth. I don't live in our old house anymore."

"No Shit."

"When I got the divorce from Kirsten, she actually won the house, even to know she would be living in New York. They said that since Caleb bought the house for Kirsten, that it should be given to him. Rightfully so, it was handed over to Kirsten, and I was forced to move out. I thought that since it would be just me, I would get something cheap and affordable. So I got this two room-apartment. It was a lot cleaner when I first bought it."

"So…Why are there two rooms then instead of one?" Ryan asked, as he saw Sandy begin to break down.

Sandy had a couple of tears in his eyes as he answered, "Cause I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, Seth would come home. I guess that hope doesn't get you anything does it?"

"You got me."

Sandy smiled, "That's true kid."

"So, Sandy, what is really going on?" Ryan asked Sandy, concerned for his foster father's situation. He could tell that something bad was really going on. There was something that Sandy wasn't telling Ryan that has really upset him.

"Well, it all started when Kirsten divorced me……..

FLASH BACK

Sandy was sitting in the bedroom of the house he had been living in for the past 15 years of his life. He had known this day would come for so long, since he and Kirsten had gotten separated over a year ago. The divorce had been settled, and he was to move out by the end of the week. He lethargically packed away his life, into a few suitcases. He basically lived his life in an empty house anyway, with Kirsten taking a big chunk of things when she moved to New York City. Seth's room was empty, and basically so was his.

There was that gaping hole in his life that would never be filled. This new apartment that he would be moving into would help him forget. It would help forget the bad times, and the turmoil he experienced over the past two years. The times since Ryan's accident have been nowhere near happy. Sandy looked back on everything he had been through.

He remembered how on some nights, he would stay up late, drinking himself to sleep. He specifically remembered the night where he drank too much, and didn't wake up for another eighteen hours.

Then Sandy moved into the apartment. He didn't remember the last time he actually cleaned it. Basically, he would take his clothes off, throw them on the floor, eat food, and spill whatever crumbs there were, without vacuuming later. He would drink vodka; leave the remains on the counter. He didn't care. He actually once thought of killing himself.

"Good evening Mr. Cohen. I am Dr. Melfie."

"Like the doc on the Sopranos?"

"Yes, I don't hear that enough." She answered, her statement dripping with sarcasm

"What is the problem?"

"Well, I have been having suicidal thoughts of late. My son or foster son has been in a coma for the last two and a half years. My wife has divorced me, and my real son hasn't spoken to me in months, or seen me in over a year. I have been battling depression since he got into this accident. Ryan, my foster son, accidentally got his ex-girlfriend pregnant, and went to live with her in Chino. We didn't see him for over five months. My son took off the same day because he couldn't deal with living in Newport without Ryan. Ryan comes back, thinks everything is normal, and then this. Things just haven't been the same. I had a marriage where we constantly fought, and my wife and son were driven away. I find myself drinking, sometimes taking sleeping pills just to get to sleep, and I am having mood swings. The only thing I live for anymore is work, and my visits to Ryan. But I am starting to feel like I can't do the visits to Ryan anymore. I just want my family back together……

PRESENT

Ryan actually had tears in his eyes for the first time in well three years, since he saw Marissa on that fateful day. He didn't really know what to say to Sandy. Sandy had always been the strong one. The person besides him who held everybody together. But now, he saw the weakness in him. He couldn't help but feel guilty He had ruined everybody's life since this accident. Kirsten and Seth were in New York. Sandy was a wreck without the rest of his family, and everything was just so out of wack.

Ryan missed the way things were. He missed the pool house. He missed Seth's bickering, and Kirsten's wispiness. He missed the fun and sarcasm-filled meals at the Cohen household. But most of all, he missed Marissa. He hadn't heard anything about Marissa yet from Sandy. Somehow he wasn't telling him anything, as if to protect him.

Ryan thought back to that day again, and how he caught her kissing some other guy. He needed to talk to her, because he knew he still loved her, and he needed to know what went on, and what happened so long ago.

"Sandy, what happened with Marissa?"

Sandy paused, "So, do you like the place."

"TELL ME!" Ryan said this time, looking straight into Sandy's eyes.

Sandy knew he couldn't keep this from Ryan forever. He knew that he needed to come true. He needed to tell where Marissa was.

"Ryan, Marissa is gone. I'm sorry."