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Thanks for the reviews last time. It helped to know that more than two people wanted me to continue
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
The Diner
It had been about two months since Ryan's accident. Marissa had kept vigil inside his room for everyday of that time. She spent so many sleepless nights by his bed, praying to God that he would wake up, and they could be happy again.
On the home front, Marissa broke up with DJ, or ended whatever relationship the two of them had, which wasn't really more than hooking up when they could. The relationship was more of one of a rebellion against her mother. She had always secretly hoped that her mother would find out so she could just shove it in her face, but she never wanted Ryan to find out. And when he finally did, both of their lives were ruined.
Marissa sat in Ryan's hospital a day after school. She was waiting for Sandy so they could go to lunch together. Sandy and her had made it their tradition to meet after Marissa went to school, come back to the hospital room, and then go to get a bite to eat. Sandy would use his lunch break for this time with Marissa. It enabled him to get to know her better, and basically give both of them somebody to talk to without Ryan in their lives.
Sandy had realized that the absence of Ryan had left a gaping hole in Marissa's life. Sandy knew that she drank to solve her problems. Ryan had once confided with Sandy about this after their Chrismukkah bash last year. He told him about the night before, and the open container of vodka, everything. So Sandy knew, and he also knew that he needed to remain close to her, so she wouldn't do anything stupid.
The two forged a relationship that was almost paralleled that of Marissa and Jimmy's. Sandy at one point was even closer to Marissa than her own father was. And that led them to today.
Sandy walked into the hospital room, and saw Marissa sitting in the corner of the room up next to Ryan's bed. She was holding his hand, as the respirator pumped breaths in and out of Ryan. She was speaking softly to him. Sandy moved in closer and closer to her to see what she was saying.
"Ryan, I know I have let you down. Just know his I didn't mean to hurt you. DJ that is his name, the guy you saw me with….I don't love him. I love you. And I am so sorry." Marissa cried to Ryan, toughly clutching on to his hand.
Sandy moved in closer to Marissa, resting his hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump.
"It's okay Marissa! It's just Sandy!" He reassured her, but she knew that it wasn't alright. He had heard everything, and it was only a matter of time before he deserted her just like everybody else in her life had done before.
Marissa hesitantly turned around, slowly looking up to Sandy with her tear-stained eyes. He could see the hurt in her eyes, and from what he heard, knew that there was something that she was bottling up inside of her that was eating her alive.
"Marissa, let's head over to the diner, and you can tell me what is wrong. I heard some things, and I want to know everything. You know you can trust me." Sandy stated, looking directly into her eyes.
Marissa nodded, and walked outside side by side with Sandy, but not before planting a kiss on Ryan's bruised cheek. They walked out and down to their respective cars. Marissa got into her red mustang, and Sandy into his black BMW. They drove down the street and across town to their favorite diner Newport's Best. That was the place they had met in for the past three weeks, like mentioned before.
When the got to Newport' Best, Sandy and Marissa both got out of their cars, and walked inside. They got their usual table, right next door to the fish tank. They had basically become regulars in the place, and everybody seemed to know who they were. They thought that Sandy was Marissa's father, and had even told him how much of a good kid he had. They never took time to correct them; it would just be too confusing.
They took their seats, and ordered what they normally did. Sandy the meatloaf and Marissa the burger. IT was a good opportunity for her to enjoy meat, especially when she pretended to be a vegetarian to please her mother.
After they ordered their drinks and food, they waited for their meal. Now was the perfect time to talk, and boy did they have a lot to talk about.
"So.." Sandy started, "Marissa, what was that I heard earlier about you and another guy. Is there something that you haven't been telling me?"
Tears built up in Marissa's eyes and fell as she began.
"It all started over the summer. I was really lonely and I drank a lot as you know. I then began a relationship with the gardener. When Ryan came back, I wanted nothing more than to be with him again, but then there was DJ. I wanted Ryan, but I was scared he would leave again. I found myself seeking DJ again after he came back, and Ryan caught me kissing him. That was the night of the accident. He crashed about five minutes later….." Marissa said, trailing off towards the end. She had tears falling from her eyes, and ran outside.
Sandy didn't really know what to do. He finally decided to give her a couple of minutes to calm down, and come back in, or he would go outside and see how she was personally.
Sandy waited for two minutes, and then finally walked outside, and saw Marissa leaning on the rail, looking over at the ocean. The wind blew her hair back and forth, slowly drying her tears. Sandy walked over to her side and stood next to her.
"Beautiful sight, isn't it." Sandy said to her, trying to start conversation.
"I used to come over this way when things got tough for me. It always helped to walk around the pier, and sometimes stop by the shops, or grab a bite to eat. Whenever my parents had a fight, or me and Luke would fight, this place was my hiding spot, it would make me feel safe. Same thing when I broke up with Ryan last year, or had any problems, and I would run here. This is my safe spot, my place to run away, my place to hide from all the troubles in my life. I guess I have a lot more reasons to come here now than I ever have before."
"Marissa, do you feel guilty?"
She looked down at the boardwalk below, and sadly looked up and caught Sandy's eyes. He knew the answer to the question.
No words needed to be said. Sandy took her into his arms, embracing her like a Father would his daughter after a loved one had died.
"Don't feel guilty Marissa, it wasn't your fault." Sandy whispered into Marissa's ear.
But she knew that it was all her fault. If she hadn't lied to him, been unfaithful, or done whatever you would want to call it to him, she was the cause of the accident, and she knew it. She saw the tears in his eyes as he drove away that fateful night, and knew that what she did hit him hard, especially since she had never seen Ryan cry before in his life in Newport Beach.
"But it was my…." She trailed off at the end. Sandy grabbed her hand, and brought his arm around her shoulder, and walked her back inside the diner. They sat back down, had a few drinks (cokes of course), and started talking about the glory days. The days when Ryan was around, and everything was perfect for everybody, even though nothing could be perfect in Newport Beach.
Right after Marissa ate, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Once inside, she went into a stall, and sat down on the toilet seat. Marissa proceeded to take her finger and work its way down her throat. She caused herself to gag, and bring up everything she just ate inside the toilet. When she was done purging, she walked over to the sink, wiped her mouth, popped in a breath mint, and walked back to the table with Sandy.
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