Authors' note: Terazuma's history is of our own making. This is not canon! Just in case anyone wonders... Lara and I just tried to make up a believable backgroun for him, explain his attitude, why he is as he is, and has been apparently, for thirty years. Hope you bear with us :)


It took another twenty-four hours for him to return to the lake, but only because there seemed to be no other place that had this peace, this harmony, and Terazuma scolded himself for going. Still, he did.

In a way he wasn't surprised to find the shikigami there, reclining against a tree, eyes closed, bathing in the sun that made it through the foliage. As Terazuma approached, the blue-gray eyes opened and the man smiled.

"You came back."

He stopped, undecided. "Yeah," he muttered.

Terazuma gazed at the other, meeting the inquiring eyes, and finally the man smiled.

"I don't bite," he said mildly. "And I'll gladly share this place with you."

Terazuma hesitated again, then finally nodded and walked closer, still keeping a respectful distance.

"I apologize for yesterday. I was rude."

"And I was asking personal questions. It's my place to apologize in turn," the blue-haired shikigami replied calmly.

"You sensed the Black One. I guess you were curious." Terazuma sat down cross-legged.

"I rarely meet shinigami who have parasite shikigami."

"Meet one of the novelties," the former detective muttered, feeling disgusted at himself again.

"You really don't like him, hm?"

A shrug. "I could do without, I guess."

"You said you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never heard of a forced possession."

Terazuma heard the underlying question and he struggled with his inner self whether or not to tell this shikigami what had happened. Finally he relented to the need to have someone know, to tell someone who wasn't a guilt-ridden partner.

Blue-gray eyes regarded him silently, waiting. The shinigami raked a hand through his hair, trying to find the calm center he always had when he partook in his passion: archery. Finally he raised his head, those shikigami eyes still watching him.

"I was a rookie," he said softly. "I was new to this whole business and I wasn't good working with someone else. Before I died I was a police officer and I didn't like partnering up back then either. But it was mandatory, so I tagged along with an older pair. They were supposed to show me the ropes. Something went wrong. Things got out of hand." He shuddered at the memories. "Jun... the Black One's former host... he was dying. I was there and he... he forced him on me. I had no choice; no one asked me. And no one stopped him."

He fell quiet, hands clenching as those dark moments returned, as he saw the bloody and torn and dying form of Jun once more. There had been no hope. Shinigami healed, but there were things that could kill them. Devils, for instance. Devils who knew what to throw at them, who had lured them into a trap, who had wanted to kill both the shinigami and his shikigami.

His life had been hell ever since.

"I never wanted a shikigami," he muttered angrily. "Relying on someone else makes you weak. Using a shikigami's strength to grow stronger is just cheating!"

Terazuma didn't know what had gotten into him, but he found he blurted out his story to this stranger, who just sat at his side and listened closely, asking a question here and there. Heck, the guy was a shikigami and he had just more or less told him that he would never trust one of his kind in battle.

"You think the shikigami makes his shinigami stronger?"

"Yeah. Why else challenge one of you and bind you to a master?"

There was a smile on those handsome features. "Yes, why? But now you have a shikigami, one who serves you."

"Yeah, and I hate every day of my life."

A tilt of the head. "You do have a bleak outlook on life."

Terazuma didn't answer and they sat in mutual silence until the stranger broke it.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now," he said calmly. "My job calls and I hate to have the people looking for me discover this spot. If you need to talk again, you'll find me here almost every day, same time like today."

Terazuma nodded and watched as the man took a gray overcoat and threw it over his shoulders. Somehow just sitting there and have someone listen, someone who neither knew nor judged him – it had been unexpectedly refreshing.

Then something occurred to him

"Hey," he called, "I don't even know your name."

The man looked at him over his shoulders and smiled.

"My name is Sohryu."

And then he was gone.

Terazuma leaned back against the tree, mind wandering, noticing with surprise that for the first time in a long time he felt at ease with the world in general and himself in particular.

° ° °

Another day in GensouKai passed with what could be called normality, but for Terazuma it was anything but normal. This was a world inside a computer, a digital world, once real but now just part of the world wide web, or something like it. Nothing here was real. Then again, how real was Meifu?

He had no idea if this world really would help him settle down the Black One. True, he hadn't had a transformation for twenty-four hours now, but that meant little.

Byakko, his host, showed thankfully little of himself. Servants brought the food and he was left to his own devices for now. Terazuma appreciated it. He was a loner by nature. He hated crowds, he hated attention.

But he found himself walking back toward the lake again, strangely apprehensive. He had thought about his meeting with the blue-haired shikigami and for some reason it had felt good to talk. It was like he had finally been able to get some issues off his chest without screaming at someone, mostly Wakaba who already nurtured enough guilt at his 'condition'.

Yes, it had been good.

When Terazuma found himself approaching the clearing and the small lake he felt hesitation bloom inside him, and at the same time his heart was starting to hammer in his chest.

What the hell? This wasn't a frigging date or something.

But the closer he got to the lake the more nervous he became. Was it because he hoped Sohryu would be there or that he wouldn't? But then he walked past the trees, stepping into the small clearing and there he was, sitting comfortably and relaxed against the same tree as yesterday. Sohryu didn't turn his head, but Terazuma knew that he had been detected all along. That man was a shikigami after all.

"I don't bite," he said in that deep voice and Terazuma started, realizing he had been standing there and had stared-- again. Great.

"Uh... sorry," he muttered, sliding down beside him, picking another cigarette. His initial one, the one after breakfast, had been reduced to a stub long ago.

"I'd be thankful if you could cut down your nicotine consummation a little, at least here."

"Uh-- do all shikigami have extended senses?"

"Most of us, yes. I'm very surprised you can stand that stuff."

"At least it won't kill me anymore," he muttered and stuffed the cigarette package into his pockets.

"And you consider that an advantage?"

A fine blue eyebrow cocked, eyes glittering with amusement watched him, and Terazuma shook his head.

"It's something I brought over from my former life. Sometimes I just do it to piss off people."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence before Sohryu spoke again. "You never told me your name yesterday."

"Hn? Terazuma. Terazuma Hajime."

"Nice to meet you, Terazuma."

"Thanks for yesterday."

"I didn't do anything," Sohryu only answered.

"You listened." Terazuma didn't look at him, just studied the cold cigarette in his hands.

"You never told your partner about this?"

He snorted. "How could I? She blames herself for my condition." He gestured at his face and body in general. "Wasn't like I didn't yell and scream at her in the first few days," he continued softly. "Not only had I found out I had become a shinigami because I couldn't let go of my life, now I also was host to a parasite and looked like a freak!"

Sohryu studied him. "Why couldn't you let go?"

That was a very personal question and Terazuma felt something inside of him clench at the memories once more.

"I was a police detective. I died on the job," he muttered. "I was just so fucking mad... I didn't expect it, and I didn't expect the killer to be a colleague. If I had been better, if I hadn't been so close-minded and hard-headed, I would have seen it sooner. As it was, he shot me and my partner."

"And you clung to that hatred." Sohryu nodded to himself. "And you still do, just that you now hate your shikigami as well."

"I don't hate him."

"No?"

"I just don't like him, okay? He changed me. Not just physically. I can live with the eyes and the ears and the stripes... hell, even with the transformations."

Sohryu held the red eyes, his own expression giving nothing away. "Then what is the problem?"

Terazuma shuddered a little. "I can't be touched."

That drew a surprised expression and he sighed.

"When a woman touches me... wham! The Black One comes out. It needs Wakaba to help me take control, to push him back." A derisive smile crossed his lips. "Sometimes I think she's more like my tamer than my partner."

Sohryu winced. "She fights him with ofuda?"

"Yeah."

"You know that it hurts him."

"Yeah..." Of course it did. The pain was what drove the creature back, gave him control of his body again, left him with shame and embarrassment and such anger... "Yeah, I know," Terazuma whispered. "But it's the only way. I lose myself in him whenever he comes out. I can't do anything. He destroys... everything. Just one touch and everything goes down the drain."

Sohryu was silent for a long, long time, gazing out over the lake, and Terazuma avoided looking at the handsome man at his side. He was talking about his shikigami with another shikigami, and he was telling him about the abuse the Black One was going through. Great move.

"Terazuma, I think part of your problem is that you don't like your shikigami," Sohryu finally said. "He senses that. Parasite shikigami have a mind of their own, but they are guardian spirits nevertheless. He protects you if he thinks you're in danger, he will even sacrifice himself for you if necessary. He might not follow orders if he doesn't like them, but still-- he wants your approval. You're his master after all and a strong master."

Terazuma snorted. "What does that mean, he wants my approval? I wasn't asked if I wanted him, and neither was he!"

"Yes, but still he is your shikigami."

"Then why make this fuss about women?"

"Stress level? You and him are conditioned in that way."

Terazuma let his head sink. "I haven't been touched in decades... It's..." he murmured, then stopped, embarrassment creeping over his cheeks.

"Frustrating?" Sohryu suggested. "Maybe he knows something you don't... Have you ever tried a man?"

"What!" Terazuma exploded, staring at the shikigami as if he had lost his mind. "Are you completely nuts? I'm not... gay or something. I like women, okay? I'm not into men! I'm not gay!"

Amused blue-gray eyes watched him as he paced. "Neither am I. None of us is. Actually," he added at the red glare, "something like 'gay' doesn't exist in GensouKai. We are a little bit more flexible and open concerning our partner choices."

Terazuma growled softly and tore the unlit cigarette out between his teeth, grinding it into the dirt.

"I don't care what you have here, but in my world 'gay' exists and I'm not one of them!"

Sohryu smiled. "Of course not."

Terazuma snarled softly. "You mean, if you... then you... ?"

Sohryu chuckled. "It means when I like someone I like someone. If both want to express their feelings through physical contact, giving and receiving pleasure, so be it. Besides, it's a damn good way to relax, and you look very tense to me. Maybe both you and your shikigami would benefit from a little relaxation exercise, don't you think?"

Terazuma gaped. And glared. And blushed.

"Are you coming on to me here!" he blurted in disbelief.

"Would you turn me down?"

tbc...