Title: First Snowfall
Disclaimer: Uh, yeah, I was planning on buying SVU from Dick Wolf, but the deal fell through. Apparently there's some sort of thing where you actually have to pay for it or something. So, I currently do not own SVU, but I'm working on it! Only about a bazillion more dollars to go!
a/n: Please don't be too mad at me for killing who I did! I put a character death warning!
We had our first snowfall last night. The ground is covered in a completely untouched bed of snow that stretches endlessly for miles. It gleams like you eyes, sparkling wherever the sun hits it. I don't know how long I've been standing out here. About three hours, maybe four, I'd say.
I woke up late last night. I was thinking about you. My body just started moving. I got into my car and drove for about an hour. I know the way here like I know you. I kept going and only stopped once to pick up some flowers and continued until I reached this spot. To everyone else, this seems like just another strip of highway. But to me, it is the place where my one and only love was lost forever.
I kneel down and brush away the cold, white snow off the cross that someone placed here. In front of it, there is a picture of you. You look perfect, just as you always did.
My mind drifts off to the day it happened, the day of your accident. We were on a case that was tough on the both of us, especially you. I could see the fear fill you eyes when our main suspect threatened you. Then, he skipped bail, and I saw the terror engulf your feminine features. I know I should have stopped you from leaving on your own. I should have had someone give you a ride home, or I could've taken you myself. But I just stood and stared as your car sped away, my feet weighing a thousand pounds.
But I didn't know that your car would skid off the road and roll over into a ditch, no one did.
I stand up and go back to my car to retrieve the flowers that I bought. They're red roses, your favorite.
I look out once again at the seemingly endless snow covered field. I know that the year ahead of me is going to be a year of firsts: first Christmas without you, my first birthday without you, your first birthday without you. I know it's going to be tough, but I know that I can make it. Hell, I've already made it through the first snowfall without you.
I remember you used to always love being the first person to step in the freshly fallen snow. "Like being the first person to dip a knife into a newly opened jar of peanut butter," you used to say, with a smile on your face. I look at my watch and realize that it's time to go. No need to have Cragen worrying about me if I'm late for work.
I kneel down one last time next to the cross and say a silent prayer for you. I delicately place the bundle of roses next to your picture. I have to go now, but I promise I'll be back later.
As I drive away, I can't help but look back at the flowers through my rearview mirror. A colorful, bright reminder against the sparkling, cold, white snow, fresh from the first snowfall.
The End
