She's Gone 7 – Doublemeat Danger
"You're firing me?" Faith couldn't believe how hurt she felt. First that fuck-up with Xman that had them scurrying to avoid one another. And now G was giving her the push from The Magic Box.
When she'd first returned to Sunnyhell she'd hated the idea of working in such a boring position as a shop assistant but now she took pride in a job that didn't involve her dancing either on a table or round a pole. And she was fucking good at it. "What have I done wrong?" She wouldn't cry, she'd been rejected plenty of times in the past. But this was different, she thought G really gave a shit about her.
"Faith," G made to put his hand on her arm but at a look in her eyes wisely decided against it. "You've done nothing wrong; your work has been exceptional. No," the Watcher passed her a folder. "This assignment is strictly undercover."
"Uh?" Now her anger had changed to confusion.
"Over the past three months ten employees and five customers have disappeared in the vicinity from Doublemeat Palace. I'd like you to work undercover to see if a demon's preying on the fast food establishment. I understand you're starting college in two weeks but by then I'm sure you'll have solved the case."
"You wanna me to go 007?" Faith grinned. This sounded kinda cool. She frowned as a thought struck her. "How can you be sure they'd hire me?" It wasn't like she had masses of legit work experience.
The Englishman smiled mysteriously. "Read this."
Curious, Faith took the proffered piece of paper and began reading. "Quick to learn, hard working, enthusiastic, punctual, trustworthy, and good with people." Faith's spirits lifted for the first time in over a week as she realised the letter was her reference. "Fuck G. I am going deep in undercover," she joked to hide her emotion.
"Every word is true," the middle-aged man smiled. "And given the employee turnover they'll be dying to hire you."
"Oh yeah G," Faith snorted. "You're a regular laugh-riot."
* * *
"Maybe they died of boredom," Faith muttered as she watched the Doublemeat training video. She'd got the job; the interview with the chronically nerdish Manny had been a cake-walk. She'd just smiled and pretended an interest in Doublemeat products and regulations. But this video – if the restaurant had been on the fourth floor of a skyscraper she'd have been convinced that the employees had committed suicide by leaping out of the window to escape it.
"And now we'll take the tour," Manny beamed.
"Oh joy," Faith muttered before forcing a smile and dutifully following the manager out of the darkened office. Her tour continued the theme of absolute boredom but she did note that many areas were off-limits to all but the most senior staff. "Wicked weird."
Finally Manny led her into the break-room. "And these two gentlemen are Phillip and Timothy. They're on the Doublemeat fast-track, you work hard missy and you could be too."
Now there's an incentive Faith mused. "I'll certainly try Manny," she promised with all the sincerity of a double glazing salesman. God, she was so wishing she was still psycho. This place needed wiping from the face of earth. Once Manny the manager had left she turned to her co-workers. "So boys," she fluttered her long eye-lashes. "You gonna steer me round the curves?"
* * *
Three hours later and she was convinced there was something off. Three hours and neither of her trainers had made a pass at her – they were like fucking Doublemeat Drones. "Faith!" a voice called from the back of the fast food establishment. "Your break-time!"
"Five by five," she turned away from the grill, her nose wrinkled in disgust. She stunk; she thought the stench would never wash out. Sometimes she hated Slayer senses.
On her way back from her break she saw a freezer door in one of the no-go areas. "I wonder." She'd barely taken three steps towards the freezer when Manny appeared by her side.
"Now missy," the pimply-faced manager scolded. "A multi-national conglomerate only prospers if all its employees stick to its rules."
"Sorry Manny." Faith replied dutifully. G, you are so fucking dead, she silently promised.
Apparently accepting her apology Manny nodded. "That's more like it missy," he praised. Faith resisted the urge to roll her eyes, Jesus Christ she had a fucking name-tag on and he couldn't think to use it. She could tell why he was a fast-food employee. "With this new attitude its obvious you're ready for more training."
"Can hardly wait."
Manny's brow furrowed at her mutters comment. "What was that?"
"I said I could hardly wait," Faith beamed. Her jaw was beginning to hurt from all this smiling. God, she'd rather go back to pole dancing than work here for the rest of her life.
"Oh yes, you've definite management potential." Faith shuddered at the thought as Manny turned away. "Follow me."
"You want me to grill?"
Manny beamed at her. There was a smile that showed all the evils of a high sugar, teeth rotting diet. "An integral part of being a Doublemeat employee missy. Phillip will show you how to do the business."
Faith entertained herself with thoughts of introducing Manny's face to the grill as Philip explained how it worked. "You put the beef on the grill, you hit the button, and then it beeps. You flip the beef, hit the other button, then it beeps. You put it on the bun," Phillips paused. "There's not a button for that."
"You'd think they'd build one."
Philip either didn't hear or ignored her muttered comment. Instead he dropped some meat patties on the grill. "Every burger at every DoubleMeat Palace is the same. People don't like variation."
Faith nodded obediently. "Got it. Variety is the spice of bad."
"Mm." Philip had his arms crossed as he stared at the meat. Steam rose as the meat cooked.
"So ..." Faith nudged the man with a hip. "What's the secret ingredient?"
Phillip's eyes didn't shift from the grill. "It's a meat process."
Faith's brow furrowed. "What does that mean?"
"It's a process they do it to the meat."
Faith fought back her impatience. "But, what *is* it?"
"It's just the name of the process."
Faith gave up. "Thanks, it's a lot clearer now."
The grill beeped. Philip picked up a metal spatula and passed it to her. Faith looked distastefully at the grill. "So, I ... guess we're gonna get ... kinda greasy, huh?"
Phillip nodded. "Skin, hair, eyelashes, nostrils." Faith felt bile rise in her throat. "Inside your ears." The fast food employee looked at her. "You wanna look inside my ears?"
"No. No, that's okay."
"Once I noticed I couldn't hear and went to the doctor. He said it was grease ... that made a plug." Phillip smiled. "They gave me a kit. Kit for cleaning my ears. It's got this little bulb mechanism".
Faith groaned. "Oh yeah," she muttered. "Prison was definitely better than this."
* * *
"Faith."
Faith bit back a curse. She was wrong, after two hours on the till things couldn't get worse. "Xander," she hissed. "What the fuck do you want?"
"A smile and service would be nice," Xander replied, his own smile fixed. "We need to talk and as you avoid me at home and ignore me on pat-."
"Fuck this!"
"Is there a problem Faith?"
Faith grinned at Manny's voice, an evil idea germinating. "Yeah Manny," she put a tremble in her voice and forced tears to well in her eyes. "This is my ex. He won't take no for an answer, home, the gym, and now here. He won't leave me alone!"
Manny fell hook, line, and sinker for her scared little girl act. His chest puffed out, the fast-food manager shouted imperiously. "Gary! Timothy! Phillip! Please remove this man from our establishment!"
"Fai-."
Faith pointed at the fuming man as he was herded out of the building, barely able to prevent from giggling. "You're barred mister!"
* * *
"I don't believe she did that!" The house shook as Xander slammed it shut. "That was -." "What has Faith done now?"
Xander slowly turned to face him as he met the youth in the lounge doorway. "G-Man. Shouldn't you be at work with Anya?"
"I told her I had some errands. Filched your house-keys from her handbag and came here to see you. Are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Faith?"
"Nothing."
Giles sighed. "Xander, I have rarely met a more unconvincing liar."
"Fine," the male Scooby's eyes hardened. "Then try this. It's none of your business!"
"Now bloody hold on!" Giles roared. "Faith's well-being is of paramount importance to me! She is my charge and I am not going to allow her fall into hard ways again. Now are you two having an affair?"
"What?" Giles was relieved to see a look of horror on the younger man's face as he slumped down on the lounge sofa. "No." Xander shook his head. "Nothing like that."
"Then what?" Giles pressed. "You two have been like scalded cats for the past two weeks."
"Eleven days actually."
"Pardon?"
"It was the memory spell," Xander explained. Giles groaned, oh bloody hell. "We'd just finished slaying four vampires. And," the young man glanced down to the floor. "We were kissing when the spell broke."
"Oh bollocks." Giles took a second to collect his scattered thoughts. "And what did Faith say about it?"
"That's the problem," Xander shook his head. "She won't talk about it."
"Oh." Giles steeled himself for his next question. "And what do you feel about it?"
There was a long pause before Xander raised his head and began to speak, his expression troubled. "That first night I met her outside the Bronze I started to fall for her." Giles blinked, he'd never suspected. "I think I cheated on Cordy with Willow to push away my feelings for Faith, how warped is that? Then she turned bad," Xander's eyes filled with pain. "I could tell she'd been abused as a kid. It takes one to know one and I knew the anger she'd feel. The night she tried to kill me in her motel room – nothing, the Master's Tunnels, Spike, Angelus, the Judge, Graduation, or Glory scared me like she did." "She's changed," Giles commented softly.
"I know. When you told me she was returning I was terrified, angry that she of all people was replacing Buff," Giles flinched at the mention of his surrogate daughter. "But I also hoped she'd managed to beat the past -."
"And she has," Giles broke in. Xander nodded. "You haven't answered my question?"
"Faith's everything a guy could want. She's sexy, funny, smart, and energetic. And that night-."
"Please. No details," Giles said shakily. At his time in life he didn't think he could cope with the images.
"But she's not Anya."
Giles released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. The one thing he didn't need was an angry former vengeance demon trying to kill his son and his Slayer. "You'll have to speak to Faith."
"I've tried. She just got me thrown out of the Doublemeat Palace! And I love that place!"
Giles hid a grin at Xander's out-raged look. At Xander's age he'd been thrown out of far more exclusive places. And less lofty establishments too. His amusement died as she realised what he had to do next.
* * *
Giles winced as the shop door crashed shut and a volcanic looking Faith stormed in. "Do. Not. Say. A. Word!" The Bostonian Slayer barked.
At that moment Dawn walked in from the training room at the back. "Hi Faith! Want to spar?" the teen's beaming smile slipped to be replaced by a grimace. "Oh maybe after you've cleaned up a little-."
"DON'T!" her face contorted in fury, the east coast native stormed past the ex-key and into the gym.
Giles cast the bemused looking teen an irritated glance. "Oh thank you Dawn. Have you considered a career in the diplomatic service?" Muttering expletives under his breath he hurried after the brunette bombshell.
When he entered the gym he found the raven-haired Chosen One pounding the practice dummy with a ferocity that made him wince. He did so hope she wasn't visualizing the unfortunate mannequin as either him or Xander. At his arrival Faith turned towards him, her dark eyes smoldering with rage. "There better be something up at Doublemeat Palace," she growled. "Otherwise the Council will find themselves short a stuffy former librarian."
Giles decided to treat Faith's words as hot air, otherwise he'd been booking a ticket back to the motherland. "We need to talk about you and Xander," he declared, pushing the door shut behind him.
In an instant Faith's expression changed from furious to wary. "There is no Xander and me."
"Faith, I'm aware of your kiss."
"Xander's got a big mouth," Faith shook her head. "It's none of your business."
"I'm afraid it is," Giles allowed a hint of steel to enter his voice. "You are my responsibility. And Xander is your back-up. More than that," Giles softened his tone. "I worry about you."
All sign of rebellion left the brunette's face, softening her beautiful features. "Fine," she sighed before slumping down on a bench. "You know that since I went to prison I haven't got any?" Giles groaned a sex talk? This wasn't in The Watcher Manual. "First morning in prison, five bulls surrounded me in the showers. Decided I was going to be their bitch. Lucky for them I managed to stop myself from killing them just hospitalised them. A few days later I was in the laundry and found three dykes holding this girl down. They were gonna rape her with a broom handle." Giles felt his stomach clench as the Slayer shrugged. "I stopped 'em. I started a gang – first-timers, kids, just protecting them from the predators. It wasn't Slaying but I was helping. Point is, any one of my girls would have gone down on me, some because they actually wanted me but some just to keep me sweet. But while I was inside Angel and the prison shrink made me realise that I was worth more than just being somebody's quick fuck. Prison isn't real conducive to long-term relationships and besides I'm not a muff-diver." Oh there it was again, Giles hid a grimace at the images. "And I wasn't going to fuck a guard," Faith's expression took an expression of distaste. "So I figured I wasn't going to get any again," Faith winked at him. "Lucky I had my fingers and memories."
This time he groaned. "Fascinating," he said dryly. "Can you hurry to the point?"
"When I got released I was terrified about a ton of shit. Could I stay good? How would you guys react? Did I still have the moves in a fight? Would I be able to resist going back to being a nymho?" Faith paused. "At first things were rough. Then after I staked Spike, me and Xman started to talk. I kinda liked Xan, but back in the day me and steadies didn't mix. But now I started to think about him as a potential, he had all the goods – he's pretty decent in the sack," Giles rolled his eyes, the girl was sex- mad. "Funny, kind, loyal, honest, and brave. But he's got a girl-friend," Faith shrugged. "So he's off-limits to the new Faith. And I was five by five with that. But after that kiss-." "Faith, Xander is exceptional," Giles commented. "But he is not unique. There are plenty of good-."
"What decent guy's gonna want a murdering former jailbird?" Faith interrupted with a shake of her head. "Besides, I don't want anybody else."
"Faith, Xander worked with Buffy for years while harbouring feelings for her. And he's your friend, you more than most know how precious friends are."
Faith nodded slowly. "I'll talk to him."
"Good girl," Giles paused. "Faith if you have problems. Of any nature you can talk to me. That's what I'm here okay?"
His words were rewarded with a small smile. "Thanks G."
* * *
"Where's Gary?" Faith asked as she shoved her gear into her locker. She'd hoped he was working today; he was the only vaguely human staff member.
"Hasn't turned up today," Manny replied. "He's definitely not management material."
And I bet he's heart-broken about that, Faith mused. Another employee missing. And nobody knows what is in a Doublemeat Medley burger. Suddenly Faith made a horrifying connection.
* * *
"G," the Watcher looked up at her entry. She nodded towards the Englishman before sauntering over to the table, dropping her package on the table in front of Xander, and hurried back over to the shop counter. "I think I've solved our mystery."
"Oh really?" the Englishman looked excited. "Do tell."
Faith nodded obediently, G was going to be so stoked. "The ingredients that created a DoubleMeat Medley are this big secret right? And all the people have disappeared around Doublemeat." Faith paused. "I figure that burger isn't animal meat, it's people!"
"Oh crap!" Faith spun round to see Xander coughing up part of the burger she'd brought, his back being patted by Anya. "Why did you bring it back with you?"
Faith hid a smirk at Xander's distress. "I figured Pip could run a chemical analysis on the burger to see if I'm right."
"Good idea," the middle-aged man praised before turning to Pip. "Can you do that Dawn?"
The teen looked at the burger with distaste before nodding. "I'll get right on it."
"What will you do Faith?" Giles asked.
Faith grimaced. "I'm going back, maybe I can catch them in the act."
* * *
"You're sure that's the result. There's no meat in the Doublemeat Medley?" Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. God he felt so violated.
Dawn nodded. "I've run the tests twice."
Xander looked at Giles. "You realise what this means?"
Giles nodded. "That if there is something going on at Doublemeat it might not be someone human and internal at all, Faith might be caught by surprise by a demonic attack."
Xander grimaced. "I'll head over there."
* * *
"Is that you? Oh," Faith looked across the deserted restaurant to see an old woman she'd seen last two lunchtimes. "Hello. Sorry, I thought it was a friend. What can I get you?"
For a few seconds the elderly woman stared at her and then smiled kindly. "Just you dear."
"What the fuck!" Faith's eyes widened as the woman's blue wig flew off and her neck lengthened to giraffe proportions, her old lady's head still sitting on top. Shaking off her shock, Faith vaulted over the counter and charged the demon.
As she neared the demon it vomited a white gunge at her. She dived to her right but was caught on the left leg by the liquid, her mouth drying with fear as she felt her legs grow numb and sudden lethargy overcame her. She was screwed.
Suddenly the fast food joint's outside door swung inwards. Oh shit, Faith forced a desperate scream. "Xan! Run!"
Before the male Scooby had chance to move, the demon hit him with some of its milky white liquid. Without even a whimper Xander hit the floor. The demon's head bobbled from Xander to her, its eyes widening with delight. "Not one but two tasty treats? Oh such service!" Faith tried to move, but nothing.
* * *
Clem hummed merrily as he hurried through the night towards his destination and his new friend. He liked Faith. At first he'd thought her brash but then he'd realised that beneath her brittle armour there lay a longing to be loved and to belong. Just like him in fact.
And even better she'd promised him food.
Shoving the restaurant doors open he walked in and stopped dead at his two friends lying motionless on the floor, a long necked figure stood over them. Even as the demon turned towards him Clem forced away his shock to race forward. Ignoring a white fluid that hit him square in the face he grabbed his friends' attacker by her elongated neck and waist, lifted the writhing demon over his head and threw it into the meat grinder behind the counter.
Racing over to the grinder he punched the demon in the mouth as it attempted to climb out, knocking it back down. After turning the machine he hurried back to his friends, relieved to see that Faith at least was moving. "So Faithy where are those burgers you promised me?" he asked eagerly.
"Trust me Clem," Xander said dryly. "You so do not want to eat them."
"Hey! I make good burgers!"
"You're firing me?" Faith couldn't believe how hurt she felt. First that fuck-up with Xman that had them scurrying to avoid one another. And now G was giving her the push from The Magic Box.
When she'd first returned to Sunnyhell she'd hated the idea of working in such a boring position as a shop assistant but now she took pride in a job that didn't involve her dancing either on a table or round a pole. And she was fucking good at it. "What have I done wrong?" She wouldn't cry, she'd been rejected plenty of times in the past. But this was different, she thought G really gave a shit about her.
"Faith," G made to put his hand on her arm but at a look in her eyes wisely decided against it. "You've done nothing wrong; your work has been exceptional. No," the Watcher passed her a folder. "This assignment is strictly undercover."
"Uh?" Now her anger had changed to confusion.
"Over the past three months ten employees and five customers have disappeared in the vicinity from Doublemeat Palace. I'd like you to work undercover to see if a demon's preying on the fast food establishment. I understand you're starting college in two weeks but by then I'm sure you'll have solved the case."
"You wanna me to go 007?" Faith grinned. This sounded kinda cool. She frowned as a thought struck her. "How can you be sure they'd hire me?" It wasn't like she had masses of legit work experience.
The Englishman smiled mysteriously. "Read this."
Curious, Faith took the proffered piece of paper and began reading. "Quick to learn, hard working, enthusiastic, punctual, trustworthy, and good with people." Faith's spirits lifted for the first time in over a week as she realised the letter was her reference. "Fuck G. I am going deep in undercover," she joked to hide her emotion.
"Every word is true," the middle-aged man smiled. "And given the employee turnover they'll be dying to hire you."
"Oh yeah G," Faith snorted. "You're a regular laugh-riot."
* * *
"Maybe they died of boredom," Faith muttered as she watched the Doublemeat training video. She'd got the job; the interview with the chronically nerdish Manny had been a cake-walk. She'd just smiled and pretended an interest in Doublemeat products and regulations. But this video – if the restaurant had been on the fourth floor of a skyscraper she'd have been convinced that the employees had committed suicide by leaping out of the window to escape it.
"And now we'll take the tour," Manny beamed.
"Oh joy," Faith muttered before forcing a smile and dutifully following the manager out of the darkened office. Her tour continued the theme of absolute boredom but she did note that many areas were off-limits to all but the most senior staff. "Wicked weird."
Finally Manny led her into the break-room. "And these two gentlemen are Phillip and Timothy. They're on the Doublemeat fast-track, you work hard missy and you could be too."
Now there's an incentive Faith mused. "I'll certainly try Manny," she promised with all the sincerity of a double glazing salesman. God, she was so wishing she was still psycho. This place needed wiping from the face of earth. Once Manny the manager had left she turned to her co-workers. "So boys," she fluttered her long eye-lashes. "You gonna steer me round the curves?"
* * *
Three hours later and she was convinced there was something off. Three hours and neither of her trainers had made a pass at her – they were like fucking Doublemeat Drones. "Faith!" a voice called from the back of the fast food establishment. "Your break-time!"
"Five by five," she turned away from the grill, her nose wrinkled in disgust. She stunk; she thought the stench would never wash out. Sometimes she hated Slayer senses.
On her way back from her break she saw a freezer door in one of the no-go areas. "I wonder." She'd barely taken three steps towards the freezer when Manny appeared by her side.
"Now missy," the pimply-faced manager scolded. "A multi-national conglomerate only prospers if all its employees stick to its rules."
"Sorry Manny." Faith replied dutifully. G, you are so fucking dead, she silently promised.
Apparently accepting her apology Manny nodded. "That's more like it missy," he praised. Faith resisted the urge to roll her eyes, Jesus Christ she had a fucking name-tag on and he couldn't think to use it. She could tell why he was a fast-food employee. "With this new attitude its obvious you're ready for more training."
"Can hardly wait."
Manny's brow furrowed at her mutters comment. "What was that?"
"I said I could hardly wait," Faith beamed. Her jaw was beginning to hurt from all this smiling. God, she'd rather go back to pole dancing than work here for the rest of her life.
"Oh yes, you've definite management potential." Faith shuddered at the thought as Manny turned away. "Follow me."
"You want me to grill?"
Manny beamed at her. There was a smile that showed all the evils of a high sugar, teeth rotting diet. "An integral part of being a Doublemeat employee missy. Phillip will show you how to do the business."
Faith entertained herself with thoughts of introducing Manny's face to the grill as Philip explained how it worked. "You put the beef on the grill, you hit the button, and then it beeps. You flip the beef, hit the other button, then it beeps. You put it on the bun," Phillips paused. "There's not a button for that."
"You'd think they'd build one."
Philip either didn't hear or ignored her muttered comment. Instead he dropped some meat patties on the grill. "Every burger at every DoubleMeat Palace is the same. People don't like variation."
Faith nodded obediently. "Got it. Variety is the spice of bad."
"Mm." Philip had his arms crossed as he stared at the meat. Steam rose as the meat cooked.
"So ..." Faith nudged the man with a hip. "What's the secret ingredient?"
Phillip's eyes didn't shift from the grill. "It's a meat process."
Faith's brow furrowed. "What does that mean?"
"It's a process they do it to the meat."
Faith fought back her impatience. "But, what *is* it?"
"It's just the name of the process."
Faith gave up. "Thanks, it's a lot clearer now."
The grill beeped. Philip picked up a metal spatula and passed it to her. Faith looked distastefully at the grill. "So, I ... guess we're gonna get ... kinda greasy, huh?"
Phillip nodded. "Skin, hair, eyelashes, nostrils." Faith felt bile rise in her throat. "Inside your ears." The fast food employee looked at her. "You wanna look inside my ears?"
"No. No, that's okay."
"Once I noticed I couldn't hear and went to the doctor. He said it was grease ... that made a plug." Phillip smiled. "They gave me a kit. Kit for cleaning my ears. It's got this little bulb mechanism".
Faith groaned. "Oh yeah," she muttered. "Prison was definitely better than this."
* * *
"Faith."
Faith bit back a curse. She was wrong, after two hours on the till things couldn't get worse. "Xander," she hissed. "What the fuck do you want?"
"A smile and service would be nice," Xander replied, his own smile fixed. "We need to talk and as you avoid me at home and ignore me on pat-."
"Fuck this!"
"Is there a problem Faith?"
Faith grinned at Manny's voice, an evil idea germinating. "Yeah Manny," she put a tremble in her voice and forced tears to well in her eyes. "This is my ex. He won't take no for an answer, home, the gym, and now here. He won't leave me alone!"
Manny fell hook, line, and sinker for her scared little girl act. His chest puffed out, the fast-food manager shouted imperiously. "Gary! Timothy! Phillip! Please remove this man from our establishment!"
"Fai-."
Faith pointed at the fuming man as he was herded out of the building, barely able to prevent from giggling. "You're barred mister!"
* * *
"I don't believe she did that!" The house shook as Xander slammed it shut. "That was -." "What has Faith done now?"
Xander slowly turned to face him as he met the youth in the lounge doorway. "G-Man. Shouldn't you be at work with Anya?"
"I told her I had some errands. Filched your house-keys from her handbag and came here to see you. Are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Faith?"
"Nothing."
Giles sighed. "Xander, I have rarely met a more unconvincing liar."
"Fine," the male Scooby's eyes hardened. "Then try this. It's none of your business!"
"Now bloody hold on!" Giles roared. "Faith's well-being is of paramount importance to me! She is my charge and I am not going to allow her fall into hard ways again. Now are you two having an affair?"
"What?" Giles was relieved to see a look of horror on the younger man's face as he slumped down on the lounge sofa. "No." Xander shook his head. "Nothing like that."
"Then what?" Giles pressed. "You two have been like scalded cats for the past two weeks."
"Eleven days actually."
"Pardon?"
"It was the memory spell," Xander explained. Giles groaned, oh bloody hell. "We'd just finished slaying four vampires. And," the young man glanced down to the floor. "We were kissing when the spell broke."
"Oh bollocks." Giles took a second to collect his scattered thoughts. "And what did Faith say about it?"
"That's the problem," Xander shook his head. "She won't talk about it."
"Oh." Giles steeled himself for his next question. "And what do you feel about it?"
There was a long pause before Xander raised his head and began to speak, his expression troubled. "That first night I met her outside the Bronze I started to fall for her." Giles blinked, he'd never suspected. "I think I cheated on Cordy with Willow to push away my feelings for Faith, how warped is that? Then she turned bad," Xander's eyes filled with pain. "I could tell she'd been abused as a kid. It takes one to know one and I knew the anger she'd feel. The night she tried to kill me in her motel room – nothing, the Master's Tunnels, Spike, Angelus, the Judge, Graduation, or Glory scared me like she did." "She's changed," Giles commented softly.
"I know. When you told me she was returning I was terrified, angry that she of all people was replacing Buff," Giles flinched at the mention of his surrogate daughter. "But I also hoped she'd managed to beat the past -."
"And she has," Giles broke in. Xander nodded. "You haven't answered my question?"
"Faith's everything a guy could want. She's sexy, funny, smart, and energetic. And that night-."
"Please. No details," Giles said shakily. At his time in life he didn't think he could cope with the images.
"But she's not Anya."
Giles released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. The one thing he didn't need was an angry former vengeance demon trying to kill his son and his Slayer. "You'll have to speak to Faith."
"I've tried. She just got me thrown out of the Doublemeat Palace! And I love that place!"
Giles hid a grin at Xander's out-raged look. At Xander's age he'd been thrown out of far more exclusive places. And less lofty establishments too. His amusement died as she realised what he had to do next.
* * *
Giles winced as the shop door crashed shut and a volcanic looking Faith stormed in. "Do. Not. Say. A. Word!" The Bostonian Slayer barked.
At that moment Dawn walked in from the training room at the back. "Hi Faith! Want to spar?" the teen's beaming smile slipped to be replaced by a grimace. "Oh maybe after you've cleaned up a little-."
"DON'T!" her face contorted in fury, the east coast native stormed past the ex-key and into the gym.
Giles cast the bemused looking teen an irritated glance. "Oh thank you Dawn. Have you considered a career in the diplomatic service?" Muttering expletives under his breath he hurried after the brunette bombshell.
When he entered the gym he found the raven-haired Chosen One pounding the practice dummy with a ferocity that made him wince. He did so hope she wasn't visualizing the unfortunate mannequin as either him or Xander. At his arrival Faith turned towards him, her dark eyes smoldering with rage. "There better be something up at Doublemeat Palace," she growled. "Otherwise the Council will find themselves short a stuffy former librarian."
Giles decided to treat Faith's words as hot air, otherwise he'd been booking a ticket back to the motherland. "We need to talk about you and Xander," he declared, pushing the door shut behind him.
In an instant Faith's expression changed from furious to wary. "There is no Xander and me."
"Faith, I'm aware of your kiss."
"Xander's got a big mouth," Faith shook her head. "It's none of your business."
"I'm afraid it is," Giles allowed a hint of steel to enter his voice. "You are my responsibility. And Xander is your back-up. More than that," Giles softened his tone. "I worry about you."
All sign of rebellion left the brunette's face, softening her beautiful features. "Fine," she sighed before slumping down on a bench. "You know that since I went to prison I haven't got any?" Giles groaned a sex talk? This wasn't in The Watcher Manual. "First morning in prison, five bulls surrounded me in the showers. Decided I was going to be their bitch. Lucky for them I managed to stop myself from killing them just hospitalised them. A few days later I was in the laundry and found three dykes holding this girl down. They were gonna rape her with a broom handle." Giles felt his stomach clench as the Slayer shrugged. "I stopped 'em. I started a gang – first-timers, kids, just protecting them from the predators. It wasn't Slaying but I was helping. Point is, any one of my girls would have gone down on me, some because they actually wanted me but some just to keep me sweet. But while I was inside Angel and the prison shrink made me realise that I was worth more than just being somebody's quick fuck. Prison isn't real conducive to long-term relationships and besides I'm not a muff-diver." Oh there it was again, Giles hid a grimace at the images. "And I wasn't going to fuck a guard," Faith's expression took an expression of distaste. "So I figured I wasn't going to get any again," Faith winked at him. "Lucky I had my fingers and memories."
This time he groaned. "Fascinating," he said dryly. "Can you hurry to the point?"
"When I got released I was terrified about a ton of shit. Could I stay good? How would you guys react? Did I still have the moves in a fight? Would I be able to resist going back to being a nymho?" Faith paused. "At first things were rough. Then after I staked Spike, me and Xman started to talk. I kinda liked Xan, but back in the day me and steadies didn't mix. But now I started to think about him as a potential, he had all the goods – he's pretty decent in the sack," Giles rolled his eyes, the girl was sex- mad. "Funny, kind, loyal, honest, and brave. But he's got a girl-friend," Faith shrugged. "So he's off-limits to the new Faith. And I was five by five with that. But after that kiss-." "Faith, Xander is exceptional," Giles commented. "But he is not unique. There are plenty of good-."
"What decent guy's gonna want a murdering former jailbird?" Faith interrupted with a shake of her head. "Besides, I don't want anybody else."
"Faith, Xander worked with Buffy for years while harbouring feelings for her. And he's your friend, you more than most know how precious friends are."
Faith nodded slowly. "I'll talk to him."
"Good girl," Giles paused. "Faith if you have problems. Of any nature you can talk to me. That's what I'm here okay?"
His words were rewarded with a small smile. "Thanks G."
* * *
"Where's Gary?" Faith asked as she shoved her gear into her locker. She'd hoped he was working today; he was the only vaguely human staff member.
"Hasn't turned up today," Manny replied. "He's definitely not management material."
And I bet he's heart-broken about that, Faith mused. Another employee missing. And nobody knows what is in a Doublemeat Medley burger. Suddenly Faith made a horrifying connection.
* * *
"G," the Watcher looked up at her entry. She nodded towards the Englishman before sauntering over to the table, dropping her package on the table in front of Xander, and hurried back over to the shop counter. "I think I've solved our mystery."
"Oh really?" the Englishman looked excited. "Do tell."
Faith nodded obediently, G was going to be so stoked. "The ingredients that created a DoubleMeat Medley are this big secret right? And all the people have disappeared around Doublemeat." Faith paused. "I figure that burger isn't animal meat, it's people!"
"Oh crap!" Faith spun round to see Xander coughing up part of the burger she'd brought, his back being patted by Anya. "Why did you bring it back with you?"
Faith hid a smirk at Xander's distress. "I figured Pip could run a chemical analysis on the burger to see if I'm right."
"Good idea," the middle-aged man praised before turning to Pip. "Can you do that Dawn?"
The teen looked at the burger with distaste before nodding. "I'll get right on it."
"What will you do Faith?" Giles asked.
Faith grimaced. "I'm going back, maybe I can catch them in the act."
* * *
"You're sure that's the result. There's no meat in the Doublemeat Medley?" Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. God he felt so violated.
Dawn nodded. "I've run the tests twice."
Xander looked at Giles. "You realise what this means?"
Giles nodded. "That if there is something going on at Doublemeat it might not be someone human and internal at all, Faith might be caught by surprise by a demonic attack."
Xander grimaced. "I'll head over there."
* * *
"Is that you? Oh," Faith looked across the deserted restaurant to see an old woman she'd seen last two lunchtimes. "Hello. Sorry, I thought it was a friend. What can I get you?"
For a few seconds the elderly woman stared at her and then smiled kindly. "Just you dear."
"What the fuck!" Faith's eyes widened as the woman's blue wig flew off and her neck lengthened to giraffe proportions, her old lady's head still sitting on top. Shaking off her shock, Faith vaulted over the counter and charged the demon.
As she neared the demon it vomited a white gunge at her. She dived to her right but was caught on the left leg by the liquid, her mouth drying with fear as she felt her legs grow numb and sudden lethargy overcame her. She was screwed.
Suddenly the fast food joint's outside door swung inwards. Oh shit, Faith forced a desperate scream. "Xan! Run!"
Before the male Scooby had chance to move, the demon hit him with some of its milky white liquid. Without even a whimper Xander hit the floor. The demon's head bobbled from Xander to her, its eyes widening with delight. "Not one but two tasty treats? Oh such service!" Faith tried to move, but nothing.
* * *
Clem hummed merrily as he hurried through the night towards his destination and his new friend. He liked Faith. At first he'd thought her brash but then he'd realised that beneath her brittle armour there lay a longing to be loved and to belong. Just like him in fact.
And even better she'd promised him food.
Shoving the restaurant doors open he walked in and stopped dead at his two friends lying motionless on the floor, a long necked figure stood over them. Even as the demon turned towards him Clem forced away his shock to race forward. Ignoring a white fluid that hit him square in the face he grabbed his friends' attacker by her elongated neck and waist, lifted the writhing demon over his head and threw it into the meat grinder behind the counter.
Racing over to the grinder he punched the demon in the mouth as it attempted to climb out, knocking it back down. After turning the machine he hurried back to his friends, relieved to see that Faith at least was moving. "So Faithy where are those burgers you promised me?" he asked eagerly.
"Trust me Clem," Xander said dryly. "You so do not want to eat them."
"Hey! I make good burgers!"
