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WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Summer in L.A.

Ryan took it all in. He knew that she had left, but would have never of thought that Sandy's story would hit him so hard. Ryan wanted to find her, and he wanted to find her now.

"I need to find her Sandy." Ryan told Sandy, rushing out of the kitchen, trying to find his shoes. Once he got his shoes on, Sandy stepped in front of the door, with his hands on his hips.

"You are not going anywhere."

Sandy blocked the door, forcing Ryan back inside. Ryan gave up, and walked back towards the sofa, falling down. When he fell, he realized just why Sandy stopped him from leaving.

"So the ribs hurt a little Ry?" Sandy asked, even to know he already knew the answer.

Ryan's body would be sore for the next couple of days because of walking for the fist time in three years. It was funny how quickly for Ryan he could forget that he had just spent a good three years in the hospital, in a completely immobile position. But he had, and was now reminded of it.

"You bet it hurts." He confirmed with Sandy.

Sandy smiled and told Ryan to give it a rest. Ryan could go on his baseless scavenger hunt to find Marissa another night. But tonight was a night of rest.

Sandy's story had taken so long, that it was already time for dinner. Neither Sandy nor Ryan was very hungry. So they decided to forego dinner for the night and go straight to sleep, Sandy to his room, and Sandy to his very new room.

Sandy walked into his room, took of his tie, and lay down on the bed. He took a deep breath, and turned on the television. When he switched the station to TBS the superstation, he was not very surprised to see The Shawshank Redemption playing again. The movie was on for the tenth time this week, and each time Sandy came across it, he would stop and turn it on. The movie actually gave him hope. He thought about the struggles that Andy Duphraine went through in the film, and related it to his own life.

See Tim Robbins's character Andy, had some rough things happen to his life, but he always kept hope alive, and it eventually set him free. Sandy actually had the same feelings in the beginning. But after watching for the fourth and fifth time, he had begun to doubt himself, wondering how things had gotten so screwed up. Somebody one room over from him, was wondering the exact same thing as he was.

Ryan lay on his bed thinking of all the problems that he needed to fix. He needed to talk to Kirsten, and repatch his relationship with Seth. Ryan needed to see Marissa for his very own eyes and bring her home. He needed to be the hero all over again like the old days, except this time, Sandy now needed him just as much as anybody else. Ryan was just wondering one thing, how did this family get so screwed up. But 3000 miles east, somebody was thinking the very same things.

Seth Cohen sat in his apartment in a high rise on the campus of New York University. It was already nine PM, and he looked down at the small yellow cabs and cars passing below, being their horns like it was human nature. The city that never sleeps and he was use to that by now. Seth looked out the window to what would be the direction of California. He hadn't thought about him for the longest time. He hadn't remembered the good times they shared. He had put his brother in the back of his mind for so long. But now, somehow, Ryan came back to the forefront of his thoughts.

He sometimes wondered if Ryan was still on life support, if his dad had left him on it. He wasn't sure if he really cared. Seth had given up all hope a long time ago, unlike Andy Duphraine. Seth remembered watching that movie with his father, whenever it was on. He slowly realized that he was turning more and more into a Brooks, a person who when the going gets tough, would simply give up. That is what he did with Ryan. Sometimes he thought he had let Ryan and his father down, but most of the time, he was steadfast in his belief that he needed to get away from his father, and his ideas were better for Ryan. But today, he felt like Ryan knew what happened, knew somehow that Seth had tried to kill him.

So Seth sat in his apartment, his one room, one bedroom apartment, thinking about for the millionth time in the past three years about What Could Have Been.

Ryan slept peacefully that night. Surprisingly, he had very little dreams, and the ones he had where actually positive. He had no nightmares, or anything out of the ordinary. When he woke up, he smelled the familiar smell of bagels toasting in the morning. As Ryan made his way down the stairs, he looked over at Sandy who was in the midst of finishing off the final drops of his glass of bourbon. Ryan quickly hid his face. Sandy was drinking, at nine o'clock in the morning.

This was an act that Ryan would be used to from his mother, but not from Sandy, he expected more from him. But he couldn't say anything to him.

"Hi Sandy." Ryan said, walking into the room, making sure That Sandy had put the bourbon away before coming in. He didn't want to embarrass him, as his stories had embarrassed him enough.

"Hello Ryan." Sandy responded, fumbling with the coffee cup in his hands. He nearly dropped it, but put it down just in time. Though Ryan did pick up on his trembling hands, an obvious sign of alcoholism, but Ryan still thought nothing of it. If there was anyone that he would doubt being an alcoholic, that would be Sandy, so he couldn't believe it, and he didn't.

"Hey Sandy. I Have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"Where is Summer?"

Summer, Summer had actually stayed in touch with Sandy. She was really the only person from what he could call his old life that he still had. She being Seth's girlfriend, after getting back together during those three years, was Sandy's closest link to Seth. She kept him informed.

"Summer is still in Newport. I still keep in touch with her. She is my only person left in Newport, before you came back. She goes to UCLA, here is the address of her dorm." "Ryan, might I ask why you are going to see her?" But in reality, Sandy knew why Ryan wanted to see her.

"To find out where Marissa is."

That is what he figured, and Ryan was off. Ryan got behind the wheel for the first time since the accident. He took a deep breath, started the car, and drove out on the street. Luckily for him, nothing drastic changed over the past three years, dealing with automobiles. There were no flying cars yet, or thrusters in the back of the car. So he still knew how to drive.

When he finally got out on the road, he was a little uncomfortable, driving 50 in a 65, getting passed left and right, even by a car full of nuns. But he let them go by, because they had God on their side. The trip did not take that long actually, or at least shorter than the time Ryan thought it would take.

When Ryan finally got to the campus, it was crawling with people. He was luckily enough to spot Summer coming out of her film class. Then it happened. There eyes met.

Summer looked over at the person staring at her. It looked exactly like…..OH MY GOD! It was Ryan. But how could it be Ryan? He is in a coma and would probably never wake uP! She thought to herself. Summer became scared and started running. She ran and ran and ran to her dorm, but when she got there, she saw Sandy's car waiting outside, and Ryan step out of it.

"Hi Summer."

"Ryan?"

"Yea, it's me."

And for the second time, somebody collapsed at the sight of him.

Ryan smiled at first, knowing that his presence could have such a profound effect on somebody else. Then Ryan went into action. He walked over to Summer, and took her in his arms. She was out cold. HE saw a girl walking into her dorm.

"Excuse me, this is my friend Summer, and she fainted."

The girl looked at Summer, and then at Ryan.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU PERV!" The girl then proceeded to take out her pepper spray, and spray it all in Ryan's eyes.

Ryan screamed in pain, and dropped Summer hard onto the grass. The girl then ran away as fast as she can. UCLA must have a lot nut jobs there.

As Ryan started to come to from his eye injuries, so did Summer. Ryan rolled off his stomach and onto his back as a small crowd formed around the two twenty year olds. Ryan opened his eyes to see the crowd. They looked kind of hostile towards him. One walked up with her cell phone in hand.

"I'm gonna go call the cops!"

"NO!"

Who was that that was defending him? It would be nice to get some support.

IT was Summer.

"HE came to see me; I was just shocked, when I saw him, that's all."

The crowd dispersed, and Ryan and Summer stared at each other for the longest time, on the grass, neither of them knowing where to begin. Summer was just getting over the shock that Ryan, who she thought was pretty much dead, was all of the sudden, sitting next to her waiting for her to say something to him. But the words just wouldn't come out, they couldn't. This was just too much to handle for her, so she needed the escape. She learned from Marissa the best way to escape. Since she didn't have any vodka, she took the second route. She cried.

"Don't Cry Summer." Ryan said, breaking the silence, as well as the distance between the two. He hugged her, bringing her close to his chest, as she continued to cry hysterically. He was tentative to hug her, but he was now just being a friend, helping another friend in her time of need.

"I…thought….you..wwwerrre dead." Summer told Ryan, in between her cries. Ryan didn't know what to say, because frankly, everyone thought he was dead. HE didn't understand how he was here today, because if he was in everyone else's situation, he would have thought he'd be dead too.

"Well im not, and im here right now, so can we can go inside and talk about things? Okay?"

Summer nodded her head and with the help of Ryan, got up off the grass, and walked inside the dorm, and up to her room. Funny enough, the girl who sprayed Ryan with the pepper spray, had the room across the hall. When she saw Ryan walk inside, she ran inside her room, slammed the door shut.

"Campus nut case Ryan, don't worry about her."

Ryan laughed.

Ryan and Summer walked into Summer's room. Summer went over to her bed and sat down, putting her head into her hands, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

Ryan chose to walk around her room, while she settled down. She had pictures lining the walls. Summer was lucky enough to have a single room, so all the pictures and thing were hers. All the pictures just happened to be of the four of them, Ryan, Marissa, Seth, and herself.

Ryan picked up the pictures sitting next to her bed. One was of Marissa, one was of Seth, and one was of all four of them. He wasn't really surprised that he didn't get one of himself, as he was never really that close to her. The only real time he had spoken to Summer was when he went over her house to ask her about Seth, shortly before he got into his car accident after his visit to Marissa's.

Ryan picked up one though of the four of them, last year at the wedding, the day that changed all of them forever.

"I remember that day."

"What?"

"I remember that day." Summer chimed in.

"You were leaving that day. Everything was about to change forever. Marissa was going to drink again, Seth was going to leave, I would go to therapy, and you would go to Chino to be with Theresa. Sandy and Kirsten, the perfect couple, would start to fight; Julie and Caleb would form the most gruesome of twosomes ever in the history of the earth."

"Those were the days."

"I'll say."

There was a long pause, probably about two minutes, as they continued to stare at all the pictures.

"So, how are things with…." Ryan started, but was quickly broken up by Summer's question.

"Ryan! What are you doing here? When did you wake up? I thought you were dead for sure." Summer told Ryan, as his eyes shifted towards the floor, to admire his shoes. He couldn't even look Summer in the eyes while he spoke to her.

"I'm sorry Ryan, if it's a touchy subject, I really am."

"No, its fine that is why I came, to talk to you about it. I woke up like three days ago. It has been what, three years. You know that everything is so screwed up?"

"Yea I know. I seem to be the only sane one of late."

"Are you and Seth still…." Ryan asked her inferring something.

"Yes we are, and have been for the past four years. It's hard with the long distance relationship, but it's even harder with the fact that our relationship was strained, with his father and him fighting. You do know about that, right?"

Ryan nodded his head.

"Yea, personally, I don't agree with what Seth or Kirsten did, but it isn't my business. I do however keep in touch with Sandy. I am the person he comes to when he wants to know about his family, and what is going on with Seth and Kirsten. But they do not know that I talk to him, and if they did, I don't know what would happen. I mean because both of them have changed so much since well you know, they tried to…you understand. But whatever, we are still together. Ryan, I have a pretty good idea about why you are here, but I'll ask anyway, why are you here?"

Ryan waited a couple of seconds before responding, but he finally did.

"Marissa."

"Just what I thought" She responded. Summer motioned for Summer to sit down next to her on her bed. Ryan sat down, and she began to talk.

"It hit me hard when Marissa left. I actually went back into therapy. I mean she was…I mean is my best friend. We hadn't been separate from each other, pretty much all our lives. We have always been so close, and she just took off out of nowhere. Things were just so rough on her. Sandy and I were the only one's really here for her, and I had a lot of troubles, with Seth and all. So it was really only Sandy. But when she left, everything fell apart."

"Do you know where she is?" Ryan asked her, getting right down to the point.

Summer sighed, "Yes I do. I know where she is, but she made me promise never to tell anybody ever again.

"Summer" Ryan said in a stern voice. "You can tell me."

"I'm not so sure Ryan. I mean if you are gonna go and patronize her because of what she did with D.J. then I wont, because her life has been tough enough."

"I will not Summer, I promise. I just want to see her. No matter how much she has screwed up, I must admit, I miss her, and I still love her. I just want to bring her home safe."

Summer knew she was breaking. She was going to tell Ryan where she was, and break the one promise that she had said so long ago that she would always keep.

"Summer, where is she?"

"Sacramento."

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