He swallowed but obeyed. He didn't need to concentrate to sense the air move ever so slightly when Sohryu brought his hand up and the heat of the other man's body, radiating from the fingertips that hadn't even touched the skin on his neck. Just millimeters above his skin the fingertips were caressing him, brushing over the hair that was standing up because of the goose bumps. Neck, throat, ears and jaw line without making contact to the exposed skin, and Terazuma let his head fall back, becoming more and more aware of the other body close to him. Then the fingertips did touch his skin, and it was like a flash of heat, like pure electricity, making Terazuma shiver and moan.

Ghosting over highly sensitive spots at his ears again before Sohryu gently caressed his lips-- Terazuma had to steady himself at the other man's shoulders or he would have toppled over with the sensation. Feeling the shikigami shift slightly fingertips were replaced by lips, butterfly soft and gentle, and he opened up without even thinking. Wrapping his arms around the strong body, Terazuma sighed and moaned when he felt those lips caress his, that hot inquiring tongue stroke over his sensitized mouth, asking to be let inside.

Too long. It had been too long. He was thirsting for a loving touch, for a kiss, for... more. Three decades of loneliness boiled up inside him, made him desperate, made him hunger for every little attention, and he knew that something inside of him was breaking.

Terazuma utterly surprised himself by not only letting it, but inviting it in, and eagerly so. Sohryu's hands glided down his body, teasing him through the fabric of his shirt first before he touched bare skin. Terazuma was suddenly highly aware of the other man, of his position upon Sohryu's lap, and the certain pressure against his crotch-- but then Sohryu teased a nipple with his thumb, deepening the kiss, a hand sneaked between his spread legs-- and Terazuma cried out hoarsely as all the pent up frustration and need and pleasure suddenly exploded in a mind numbing sensation of completion.

Coming back to himself Terazuma found himself lying lax on top of Sohryu, gently cradled against a hard naked chest.

His back was stroked soothingly and he was still only too aware of touch of bare skin against skin.

"You... you made me... "

"You came," Sohryu rumbled softly. "That was the intention."

"In my pants!"

An amused chuckle. "Not necessarily. Did it feel good?"

"Uh..." Terazuma shifted uncomfortably, and Sohryu chuckled again.

Soft lips brushed against his and Terazuma kissed him back, the initial shock of kissing another man long gone. Sohryu gently pushed him off his lap.

"There's a perfectly nice lake, Hajime. Use it if you want to. Nobody will disturb you here."

He looked into those strange eyes, blue-gray with a slit pupil. Terazuma knew little about shikigami, but for the first time he wanted to; at least concerning this man.

Shrugging out of his shirt and his pants Terazuma was aware of the those eyes watching him as he revealed his body to the shikigami.

The water had just the right temperature, and it was caressing his skin like soft silk when Terazuma dove through effortlessly. He loved swimming, almost as much as he loved archery and martial arts. The silence under water was as meditative for him as was concentrating on the target with his arrow-- focusing on one point, freeing his mind of disquieting and distressing thoughts and images, and become one with the world. It was pure Zen, peace in itself, and only somebody who practiced the same art would be able to understand how something as simple looking as that could pacify his usually upset mind. Somehow Terazuma had the impression Sohryu could.

Stepping out of the water Terazuma indeed felt refreshed, but he was aware of his own nudity again. Sohryu handed him a robe and he slipped into it thankfully.

"You're a handsome man, Hajime," the tall shikigami said quietly.

"I'm a freak," Terazuma muttered.

There was a hand on his neck, pulling him close to the handsome man who had just given him the best thing in a long time. Blue-gray eyes fixed on inhuman red ones.

"You are Terazuma Hajime. Nothing more, nothing less. This," he caressed one pointed ear, "doesn't mean you're different from any other shinigami. They all carry something that makes them different from the next." Now those fingers caressed the stripes underneath his eyes. "You have beautiful eyes, Hajime. Quite expressive when you're not constantly frowning."

"They're red!"

"So? Tsuzuki's are violet. Mine are blue. Byakko's are red, too."

Terazuma looked away, face a grimace. He hadn't been born with that color! It was a sign of his possession and the creature inside him. He rarely looked into a mirror if he could help it.

"As long as you can't accept Kagankokushunkei, you can't accept yourself. Physical release will only give you a little breathing space, Hajime. It takes the edge off the tension. You need to accept what you are, and you need to accept the shikigami you are bound to." Sohryu's voice was soft, gentle, cajoling.

"What if I can't?" he wanted to know, voice weak.

"Then you will continue to self-destruct. I want to help you, Hajime, because I like you, and because I can't sit by idly and see two beings in such pain, but you need to cooperate." Sohryu caressed his skin, fingers playing over one ear. "Please?"

He sighed softly, deflating a little. Terazuma knew that this wonderful feeling that he was currently experiencing wouldn't last. And he knew sex wasn't the answer either. It was a momentary release, fleeing from reality, just feeling... feeling like he had never done before in all his shinigami life. His body craved contact and his mind was thirsting for more of those electric overloads.

Sohryu wanted to help.

And he needed help.

"Okay," he murmured.

Soft lips captured his and he was kissed. "Thank you," the shikigami murmured.

° ° °

Terazuma didn't know what exactly he had expected Sohryu to do to help him. The shikigami had told him that sex wasn't the ultimate solution and he had agreed. The tension inside him came from lack of control and a too tight control in one.

"You're all knotted up," Sohryu explained to him when they met again. "Everything inside you is one big tangle and that can't be solved by physical release alone."

Terazuma stared out over the lake. "I know."

"Do you have any hobbies?"

He blinked and turned to look at the man standing calmly at his side. "Huh?"

"Hobbies?" Sohryu repeated.

"I, ah, do archery."

He was actually very good at it, one of the few things he liked and into which he could absorb himself-- until someone waved a red flag in form of Tsuzuki in front of him. That man always got him over the edge in no time.

"Good. To be a master at that you need to concentrate, to meditate, find your center."

He sighed. "I'm not so good at that. I get distracted."

"How about we find a way to lengthen that moment of total peace, enable you to ignore the world outside long enough for your emotions to settle when you get upset? I find that swimming is calming for me, for instance. I like the water." Sohryu smiled. "There's nothing like being alone, under water, with nothing but your own heart beat to listen to, to swim in this environment where nothing else can enter your peaceful state of mind."

Terazuma looked at him, drawn to that gentle baritone, the hypnotic timbre, and he wanted nothing more than to be close to this man, have him touch him. Be touched and touch in turn. He longed for that peace, that calm center, as well as human contact. His tactile sense was like a dried out well. All his senses were hyper aware, better than anyone's because of the parasite, but he had always seen them as a liability. Everything hurt him, everything was bad...

It didn't have to be bad.

"So, how about it?" Sohryu asked, looking questioningly at him.

"I'd like to try," Terazuma found himself answering.

And so their meetings began to encompass a variety of meditation techniques, underwater swimming, archery, and whatever else Terazuma wanted. Even without Sohryu, who couldn't be with him all the time, he continued the lessons and something inside of him started to relax.

"Tell me about yourself," Sohryu asked softly as they lay together on the fresh grass, the sun playing over their bodies.

Terazuma looked at the azure sky. "What do you want to know?"

"You said you were a detective before you died...?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Not exactly my life's dream."

"Then why choose that profession?" came the question.

He sighed a little. "Family tradition. Dunno about you guys, but for some families in the world of the living, tradition is everything. And some traditions involve the eldest male child taking after the father, the eldest daughter following the mother. I was the unlucky son to be chosen to become a police officer. Dad was a high ranking official, as had been his grandfather. Grandfather was a commissioner, actually."

"So you followed in your father's foot steps?"

"Kinda. I hated it, but I had no choice. I wanted my father to be proud of me, it was expected of me, but I didn't want it at all." Terazuma looked glumly at the clouds passing over the blue sky. "I hated the politics and the guns. I wasn't a good investigator at all."

"You made detective."

A snort. "Dad's influence. I should have remained a beat cop, but hey, I was a Terazuma. I had to become more. So I did and see where it go me. I was killed by a rotten cop on the take and I didn't even realize it until it was too late."

Terazuma sat up, feeling the old anger rise. The Black One stirred, but he seemed to be more careful lately. The mediation and relaxation helped, as did Sohryu.

The shikigami pushed himself up as well, regarding him calmly. "What would you have done if not for tradition?"

He closed his eyes. "I always loved the traditional sports. Archery was my passion ever since I had been a child. I once tried kendo. I liked it, but my father said to concentrate on the Academy. I snuck away to watch others, to secretly shoot archery."

A warm hand curled over one shoulder. "Maybe it's the path you should follow now. You are free of your mortal bond, Hajime. Free to be who you want to be."

"I'm a shinigami," Terazuma muttered.

"Infinite possibilities."

Yes, infinite. He was immortal, a guardian of death...

Sohryu kissed his neck and he closed his eyes, enjoying the tender contact. Hands slipped around his waist, pulling him against the firm, warm and very solid form of his lover.

"Be what you want to be," Sohryu whispered, never stopping his caress.

Hands glided over his skin, leaving a fiery trail behind. Wherever he had been touched, his skin tingled and prickled, overly sensitized, and all Terazuma could do was dig his fingers into the ground and gasp for air. Sohryu knew exactly what he was doing, nibbling at the tip of his ear and working himself down his neck and chest.

Terazuma hadn't really noticed that the shikigami had freed him from the shirt, but when the hands slipped deeper he tensed. Sohryu stopped, looking at him questioningly.

"Hajime?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Let me help you with that doubt of yours."

And before he could grasp the concept, Sohryu had shrugged out of his own clothes, lying at his side in all his naked glory. Terazuma had seen him that way only once and his body reacted immediately to the sight. His eyes slid over the well defined chest, down to the flat stomach, long legs and... he had to swallow when he couldn't help notice that Sohryu wasn't unaffected by what they were doing. Nope, definitely not.

"I'd like to feel your skin against mine, Hajime. Very much so."

Sohryu ran fingers over his chest and ribcage, working himself down south, and Terazuma moaned when his body responded. Sohryu's fingers brushed over him.

It felt good... so much better than everything Sohryu had done to him until this point, and Terazuma's eyes slid shut, hips arching into the touch-- and then he was released of the confinement of his jeans, feeling the tall shikigami's body glide along his unhindered by any clothing.

He felt the rush in his ears, heard his heart race, and was highly sensitive all of a sudden. More than before. A lot more than before. Sohryu kissed him, smiling at his dazed expression.

"Now that we took the edge off it," the shikigami whispered, "we can start for real."

Terazuma gasped as those nimble fingers stroked over him, and he twitched. Yes, the first need was sated, but it had also stoked an appetite... an incredible appetite for more.

And Sohryu saw the hunger. He smiled more and ran a hand over Terazuma's sweaty chest. He lowered his head and licked over one nipple, making the shinigami whimper.

"Soh... ry.. u..."

"Just enjoy," came the rumble.

Oh, he was! He definitely was...

tbc...