Trusting Love
"A person who trusts no one can't be trusted." Jerome Blattner
Why wouldn't he trust her? Why could he not open up that hard shell casing of a head, and spill his emotions out to her in all his pain and joy like he use to? She could understand with the divorce but it's been so long now, and they were best friends….that barely spoke outside of work. To Olivia trust always came free from Elliot but now, it seemed like she had to push him harder everyday to hear if he's really doing ok. With the job they have they need to always be able to relay on each other to vent, but if you keep feelings like that locked up for too long, its like feeding yourself poison.
One day Olivia had had enough; she needed to talk to him. This case was tough and Elliot was a ticking time bomb. And like a bomb she had to dismantle him, before he did anything stupid. She just hoped she wasn't too late.
Olivia had been walking around the precinct for the last ten minutes looking for Elliot when she finally found him in the break room, sitting in front of his locker, hunched over, with his head in his hands. He looked beat. But the last few months, that has been his usual persona. She walked over to him and silently sat next to him. She knew what she was about to say would only hurt him, but it was there job, "We got another victim," she said her eyes staring straight forward at the lockers in front of her.
He lifted his head from his head and stared at her with his piercing, sky blue eyes. She wanted to turn her head and lose herself in those eyes, like there was no tomorrow. But she couldn't cause if she looked into those eyes all she would she is his constant pain, and that she could not bear. Elliot sighed deeply and slowly rose, "Lets go check it out," he mumbled as he started to walk towards the door. "Wait," said Olivia a little too quickly, as she impulsively grabbed his wrist to sit him back down.
He quietly complied with her request and took his seat on the locker bench. "What is it Liv," he said anxiously, as if expecting this 'talk'.
Olivia put a loving hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I'm just…just a little worried about you, you seem a little…" she stopped contemplating which word would fit, "…stressed lately."
Elliot looked downward and fidgeted with his hands a little, "That's very caring of you Liv," said Elliot as he cautiously lifted his head up so his eyes met in a lock with hers, "But what do you really want to know?" Olivia let out an exasperated sigh in her failed attempt to hide her true motives. What was she thinking? Elliot had been her partner for almost seven years now; he knew what she was thinking without even looking at her.
She got up and walked over to the other side of the room, perching herself next to a window, with yellow rays of sunshine streaming through it. She stared out the golden window with a dazed look on her face before she finally said, "Why didn't you tell me about your divorce?"
Elliot gave a shrug as he lazily leaned on a wall next to her, "You already had enough crap in your life to worry about, you didn't need be concerned about the problems in my life," he said with an airy attitude. "You didn't trust me," she whispered, spitting the words out like acid, her stare now turned icy still gazing out the window.
"Liv," He said putting a hand up trying to stop her before she got started, but it was too late and when Olivia Benson got fired up, you could never stop her. "We've been partners for seven years El…seven years, and you still can't talk to me if something this major happens in your life!" she said, starting to raise her voice a little. She had turned to face him, and her stare had become a glare, now directly on him. "Olivia, I would have its just…" he said stopping in mid sentence to think of what in the hell he could say next to calm her down. "What happened Elliot!" she said throwing her hands up in the air and starting to pace fiercely, back and forth, one foot in front of the other, "You use to talk so openly, but now it seems like you have to break something or yell at someone before you talk to me about it!" Olivia said now shouting.
Elliot opened his mouth to try and say something, but was cut off by Olivia in her rant of emotion, "Were partners El…I'm supposed to have your back in every situation, whether someone's got a gun pointed at your head or your going through something more personal like a divorce!" Olivia finally stopped her screaming for a moment to catch her breath, giving Elliot a chance to talk, "Look," he said staring at Olivia's form, now leaning up against a stack of lockers her chest heaving up and down from being out of breath, "I'm sorry I haven't been open with you for the last couple of months, but there's been something keeping me from talking to you lately," said Elliot only to once again be interrupted by Olivia.
This time she walked right up to him, her face only about an inch away from his, she had to lift her head up a little to meet him at eye level. "What in God's name could keep you form trusting me, what could you be so afraid of to build a wall between our friendship," she whispered, almost menacingly.
Elliot sighed deeply, with a depressing frown painted on his face, "Something that's been going on for a while, that neither you or me had control of," he quietly said as he turned around and started walking toward the window Olivia had so intensely gazed out of.
"Yeah well," said Olivia perfectly intent on starting another one of her rants, if Elliot with his most shocking remark yet, had not cut her off.
"I can't talk to you freely anymore and tell you the truth about everyone and everything anymore because I'm afraid of letting the fact slip that I love you," shouted Elliot, his crystal blue eyes never leaving Olivia's face. "What…what did you say…?" said Olivia in shock. "I said that I love you," Elliot sighed as he turned around and started pacing slowly, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
"El," said Olivia taking a step toward him, "Are you sure about this?" her voice a little shaky. Elliot stopped pacing and walked right up to her, putting two loving hands on her shoulders and losing himself in those dark chocolate eyes like he had never done before, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life," said Elliot clearly. Olivia tried to talk, but now it was his turn to rant, and she had to listen. "I really don't know what comes next Liv, and I don't know what people are going to think," said Elliot truthfully, "I just know that I love you more than words can say and I 'm going to love you forever… so you just got to trust me with that." Elliot said staring at her intently, holding his breath waiting for her answer.
"Always," Olivia softly whispered, as a single tear rolled down her check and she pulled him into a warm embrace.
A/N- What do you think about it? I know it's a little fluffy but I tried to be as realistic as possible. I prefer a end where they just hug instead of kiss, because if they kiss it seems like there going too fast. Well, just PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think!
Chao!
Yours till aliens abduct us all,
Truly Insane
