Nick had seen pain. He'd seen a lot of it. He had known loss, felt it day after day. But something about those last few hours had taken their toll on the young CSI. Sara Sidle, best friend and newly admitted lover, was dying. There was no salvation, no miracle cure that could return her crushed body to normal. The clock was ticking its away across the bleak hospital walls. Grissom, Catherine, Warrick, and Greg seemed to take comfort in the slicing silence that filled the waiting room. Nick held his head for a moment. What would be the outcome for everybody? When Sara's heart comes to a stop, when they pant her up and bury the talented beauty, what happens to the ones she leaves behind? Stokes felt the warm tears trickle down his cheek and nose. While the other few men surrounding him tried to ignore and give space, Catherine softly held the young man. As he wept she caught a glance at the hurt, unsure boy hiding away in such a fragile soul.
"Cath," stuttered Nick, "I'm scared."
"I know Nicky, I know. We all are, you just have to remember that whatever happens, it's gonna be all right." The doctor came with his immense pity and glory. Nick knew he held the key answer to Sara's survival. The surgeon scanned the room and began to speak.
"Whichever one of you is Nick Stokes, she wants to see you now. But I must enforce the seriousness of this situation. Miss Sidle has a matter of minutes left. If all of you wish to say goodbye then use time wisely, be slightly rushed. Oh, I am terribly sorry for your extreme loss. Excuse me..."
And just like that he was gone. The five friends left in complete shock. Catherine was resting against Grissom who himself seemed distant. Warrick, who was not as close to Sara as the others, still felt as if someone had kicked him in the gut. Greg was silent. Tears escaped from his chocolate brown eyes. Sara had taught him most everything he knew about processing a crime area. They became great friends all around. Nick was ahead of the others running to reach the fading girl. Thought free flowed through his head. Matter of minutes? How can you tell someone how much they mean to you, that they changed your outlook on life, that they opened up hidden memories in a matter of minutes? Nick knew he needed years, centuries to explain.
609 was Sara Sidle's room number. Nick slowly opened the door while losing his breath in the process. Here was the moment, no turning back now.
Sara's face was black an blue. Her beautiful eyes were swollen almost completely shut. Her lips had disappeared leaving horrid red scabs. Somehow through all of this she managed a smile. The warm caring person she rarely showed to anyone blared out. Nick sat beside the bed and stroked her pale cold hand.
"Sara, can you hear me?" it was almost a whisper. The man's throat closed, allowing no sound to escape but low mournful sobs.
"Nick...please...don't cry..." She had spoke, Sara could hear. With this small joyous moment the dark haired man let her talk.
"Nick...I'm so sorry for everything...I would have loved you so much better if only I had known that this...was going to happen. It wasn't my fault...the wreck...that man came out of nowhere...I need...I need for you to promise me something, though...Greg is gonna be worried about being by himself at work...give him a push and a shove every now and then...tell Warrick that his pen is in my locker...just grab it on his way home one day...Grissom, he needs to know that I looked to him as a...well, think of a name with high importance and put it in there...Catherine, she shouldn't worry about Lindsey so much, and that there's nothing wrong for buying for herself. As for Nick..."
"I'm right here baby, we all are." Nick had motioned in for the others as she began her speech. Everyone caught their own part. She even managed a chuckle out of Grissom.
"...tell Nick yes. I love my own little family, even if we all have our faults and yeah we...work with dead bodies...for a living. Hey...do me a favor?...wake me up in five...I need to start processing those...bye..."
And just like that, she was gone. Sara Sidle had drifted off into eternal slumber with the happiness of friends and work in her mind. If a person had peeped in on the conversation they probably would have labeled it bizarre. But to the five remaining CSIs, it was beautiful. As tears ran down their faces Nick gently began to hold the young woman in his arms. They say that death is harder for the ones left behind. It now Sara's time to test that theory...
On the way back home Greg offered a ride to Nick. He gladly accepted. The car was hushed for a greater portion of the journey, but then again, there wasn't much to say. The emotions were so thick and exposed I fear that there is no possible way of recording them. Finally reaching Nick's house, Greg parked the car but kept the doors locked.
"Nick, I gotta know something man..."
"Greg, do I really have to answer one of your dumb ass questions now?"
"Yes." The seriousness glazed over Sander's eyes almost chilled Nick.
"What? What's your question?"
"Well," started Greg, " I'm curious about what Sara told you. I mean lets face it, those last few seconds she was delusional. What she said to you...did it have a meaning?"
The young CSI was shocked a the laugh coming from a man who had just lost his girlfriend.
"Oh Greg, Sara would be disappointed in you. I thought you could at least get this one right...I had...proposed to her...last night at dinner...I demanded an answer today. I'm just happy she remembered. It surprising what information the human brain can hold under increasing pressure, and what it can forget. Right now, I need to get a shower and get ready for work...no need in slacking, right?"
Greg nodded yes. Nick, with new tears brimming in his eyes, walked away into his apartment which would be much colder tonight.
Greg pondered on death for a long while after. Even at Sara's funeral he couldn't pay attention to the preacher's comforting words. Somehow he believed that he could grow from the experience, and he did. Greg Sanders married Sara Sidle's sister, who he met at the reception. He also worked his first solo case, with a shove or two from Nick. Catherine bought herself a new dress and was then invited to dinner at Grissom's place. They were married three weeks after Sanders. Warrick did get his pen back. That pen soon signed a check he used to help pay for his little girl's way into college. She studied forensic science, and replaced him when retirement came around. As for Nick, he let go. Five years after Sara's own death Nick was shot at a bank robbery. He was in critical care for two days. They buried him next to his fiancé.
Many times we have been preached on about cause and effect. Sara died young, yes. But her death opened up new doors for the CSIs. While a person hides away in the shadow of comfort they need to realize how mysterious life can be. Think about if you had crossed the street last week, you might have found your husband. What if you had went to a different school, would you have the same profession. Sara died knowing this, and so will her friends.
