A/N: This chapter is mostly dialogue but hopefully it's funny.
GW: Ok so what's the plan
HP: We'll meet at lunch in the tunnel to Honeydukes. I thought if it was okay with you we could mess around with the Dorsey's a bit, you know crank calls, ordering pizzas, I met you at the beach last summer kind of thing.
GW: I've got an even better idea that will almost assure you get royal treatment next summer
HP: What?
GW: Ok here's what we do….
"It's bloody dark in here Harry."
"Here, Lumos, better"
"Thank you, had me the phone please. Did you look up the number?"
"Yes, I owled for a phone book from Hogsmede last weekend. Here, it's 857-962-6485.
Sound of dialing
"Hello Joe's Pizza Place, how may I help you?"
"Um, hello, I would like 12 pizza's delivered to number four Privet Drive please."
"What would you like on them?"
"What do I-, Harry, what do we want on them?"
"Um…. anchovies and extra cheese on all of them, they hate anchovies and cheese is apparently bad for you."
"Anchovies and extra cheese on all of them please."
"Your total comes to 50 pounds, they'll arrive in about an hour. Thank you for ordering from Joe's Pizza Place, we realize you have your choice of pizza places and we're proud you've chosen us."
"Ok, I need the Dursley's number now Harry."
"857-594-8826, but I've just thought of something, they might have caller ID now"
"What's that ?"
"It's so you can tell who's calling"
"Oh, we're good Hermione told me her numbers blocked."
Dialing
"Vernon Dursley speaking"
Click
Dialing
"Vernon Dursley"
Click
"Vernon Dursley"
"Hi, my name is Lily Evans, may I speak to Petunia please."
"Petunia, telephone."
"Hello."
"Hello Petunia this is Lily."
"Lily? Lily as in Lily Potter, my sister?"
"The one and only"
"But, but you're dea-"
"That's what you thought isn't it, I'm alive but unfortunately in no position to take care of my son, however I expect he will receive better treatment this summer than he has before, if he isn't you can fully expect a visit from me, and I will be angry Petunia, you do remember what happened last time I was angry."
"Yes you blow up the-"
"Remember that Petunia, now I don't want Harry to know of my existence for his own good and of course given a choice he would not be with you at all. Enjoy your pizza!"
Click
"That was good Ginny, really good, she didn't know what hit her."
"All in a good day's work, being the youngest of seven assures a gift of lying."
"Really?"
"Oh sure, I needed some kind of defense mechanism against six brothers. Who would ever expect that innocent little Ginny could crash Bill's broom, nope that was all Ron."
"Interesting."
"Hey you're invited to Christmas this year it'll be a lot of fun with all of us at the Burrow."
"Really, the Burrow for Christmas, wow I can't wait."
"You are a child at heart aren't you Harry Potter. It's going to be so insane you're going to wish you were back at quiet old Hogwarts, trust me on this."
