A/N: RFR fanfiction! Yeah. It is. The new episode from last night was inspiration to my RFR-tired mind. I guess this is for Amy, even though she may totally, totally despise it. I have no clue. I hope not?
Title's an Alanis Morisette song that I do not own. The title came last, though.
P.S. My other RFR fic, "Inside," is either discontinued, on hiatus, or will be updated tomorrow. Yeah. Probably the second one, though.
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I was walking down the hall one day with a couple of my sleazeball friends one day. They were talking about some hockey game--I added in a couple of my signature River Pierce jokes every once in a while--and goofing off. I glanced over only for a second, and saw the flip of blonde hair, heard a faint but undeniably genuine giggle. And so the story begins.
From the beginning, Lily Randall was a pursuit. It never made much sense to me why guys weren't lining up at 5 AM at her locker just to smell her hair already. My only guess was the group of boys who seemed to play the constant shield around her, day in and day out. I guess I was the only one who knew better. I mean, really... Mr. Buddha? Tim's little bro? McGrath? These guys wouldn't even hurt a fly walking all over their food. And, well, then there was that Parker girl, who, even now, knowing all that I do, I still admit is a little freaky. Maybe even freaky enough for guys to misconstrue the facts enough to think Lily Randall is this way. But I'm not complaining. Their assumptions were River Pierce's gain.
I never try too hard with things. It's just not very... becoming of me, when I try too hard. So when I'm sitting there, pulling every joke I know out of my back pocket only to stare back at her pretty little disappointed and confused face, I knew there was something wrong here. I was the most popular, charming, adored guy at Roscoe--without a doubt. Girls around me seemed to apply their cherry red lip gloss with just vague hopes that maybe I'd choose them to come with me that night to the Lookout Point. Then there was this girl, who didn't seem to care what I thought of her at all, who didn't seem to notice at all that I was straining just to keep her attention, who seemed more preoccupied with Ray Brennan than River Pierce.
I'd like to say I went home, sulked about it in my room for an hour, then went back and found another girl who actually wanted me and we lived happily ever after. But I'm a man of honesty. There was definitely some sulking, but for a little more than an hour. Try, the next couple days. Suddenly, I became aware that the Roscoe world may not revolve around my every whim. That maybe people had lives out there and wanted to date people, not just in the meantime until River came around, but really. And this wasn't just my personal vendetta against Ray. This was like war against mankind. I had to capture the last of the rebels, turn them onto my side. The only part of this story I regret, is that the way I did it was with a complete farce.
But I have to say... it worked. And it might've begun with Ray's jokes, but Lily wouldn't have stayed for just that. Because if I were just imitating Ray, why wouldn't she have gone out with him in the first place? Part of it was River Pierce charm, undoubtedly. But I don't actually know why I appealed to Lily Randall, or how she finally began to look past the opinions of her RFR-loving guy friends, and well, the entire school's covert conception of the guy I am--a self-centered cocksure jock.
I don't think I'm that guy anymore. Because a couple weeks ago, if you caught me alone and asked me who I really was, I would've admit it. I was more that guy than the esteemed, community-serving "A" student/football QB/radio personality River. But I never really saw it as hurting anyone that I played so many roles in this crazy high school world. Everyone was doing it, and if mine happened to be idolized by tons of guys and worshipped by tons of girls, how could I say no? It was in the first few days, though, that I saw the error of my ways. Every time I'd walk with her and a friend would walk by and make a funny comment, I would always shoot back with something arrogant, but it was always disguised by the perfected grin. The person would walk away, feeling better about themselves, having talked to the head honcho just once that day. But Lily? She saw through everything. She wasn't fooled by the looks--she just listened. That was all anyone had to do to see right through me. And I guess it was remembering "my" contagious personality that kept her from dumping me on the spot, but she would always get this little pouting look on her face. I realized early on this Lily was not a Lily to be reckoned with. She wasn't going to put up with those sort of comments, which baffled me to no end. Because those were the kind of comments I made, and I had always made. I continued to wonder just who she had fallen in love with, if not the guy who made those comments.
But things got heavy whether I understand them or not. There was already PDA in the hallway, and movie nights are her house. It wasn't exactly conventional River Pierce dating, but that was probably why things only got hotter. And there were never those awkward moments of being unsure whether the other wanted to kiss or not. Lily would always cock her head to one side, and smile warmly. She tasted like pure, not like desperation. And when the rumours started flying around about us sleeping together, I froze. Rumours like that usually worked in someone's favor, but this time around, it would've destroyed her reputation. It was that night when she accused me of starting it that I realized who I was. I was standing there trying to defend myself like a kicked puppy, but she just shot me down.
I was going soft, but for the first time, I was happy with that. Lily exposed to me the side of me I never thought I even possessed. This guy that had the capacity to love without ulterior motives, and care enough to fight for something. And even if I still did make those arrogant comments and act like the idol I was, every time she ran her fingers through my hair and stared at me intently, I knew she was seeing right through me.
And for once, I knew it was a good thing.
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P.S. Much thanks to the people that have been playing the Ukrainian music in the park behind my house all day. They provided a wonderful soundtrack to this piece of fanfiction. Cough.
