Chapter 4 – tree of truth
So, here I am running, why I can't really say. I am running from the only gook thing that I could have had. But what confuses me the most is where I'm running. I meant to go home, where I could crawl into my bed and just cry. But I guess my feet don't agree because I am running to wards the woods, towards a path that I found with Brooke when we were little. I stop when I see the tree; it's the tree that Brooke and me carved into. The message is BD+HJBFF in messy little kid handwriting. Seeing that brings the tears back to my eyes. As I wipe them away I smear my mascara all along my cheeks.
I can just imagine what I look like right now. Probably disgusting and lost and fragile. That I sow I should always look, that is who I am on the inside under the mask that I wear day after day. I was so stupid that I didn't even stay with Nathan. I don't even know what made me run, but now I have time to stop and think. Why would Nathan even care, I mean sure we talk sometimes, and he Is a pretty nice guy, but I never thought that he would just care so much about me, Haley, a little spec in this great big world. That surprised me more than anything. But I saw the worry and compassion in his eyes, those amazing blue eyes. Whenever he looks at me, I feel like he can see into my soul, and even tough it scares me so much, I can't help but want him too.
This is crazy, I cant be thinking about Nathan Scott, this much. Its not like I like him, even if he is incredibly hott. Okay, I think that I am going crazy, and it is because of Nathan Scott. I really wish that I didn't run the way that I had; I would give anything to be in his arms right now. But I know that I must have blown it with him. Why would he want me know anyway. He probably didn't want to be with me in the first place, it was probably just because it was the right thing to do. But, I don't know, they way that he looked at me with those eyes and the concern etched on his every feature makes me think that maybe he does want me the way I want him. But am I ready for that dive yet?
Shit someone's coming, scratch that she's here, it looks like
"Brooke?" What the hell is she doing here, although it is kind of nice to see her, I guess I missed her a little bit.
"OMG Haley, I've been looking everywhere for you, what happened. Did Nathan hurt you, cause I swear if he did I'll kill him."
"Brooke, he didn't touch, I just freaked out over something so don't worry." As I look at her standing there I realized that maybe I judged her wrong she looks so frantic and worried. "But, um Brooke, I m really sorry that I freaked out on you the other day. I hope that you can forgive me." I am holding my breath and waiting…
"Haley…" This is it, she has a look on her face that I am trying to decipher but she is unreadable. "Of course I can forgive you. I love you so much, you are more like a family to me that my actual family. But I deserved what you said to me. I am really sorry that I was such a cold-hearted bitch to you, and I really want to be there for you. I want you to trust me again and let me trust you. You are my best friend in the entire world and I really missed you." O great, now I m crying again, but this time, its okay, its gook tears, and I have a shoulder to lean on.
"I missed you so much too tigger." As we sit here hugging and crying, I fell some of the broken pieces of my life slowly go back into place. But I couldn't ignore that empty space in my heart. A whole, that needs to be filled. And I have an idea who I need to fill it.
