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What Will Happen Now
Jake got up to check on Jenny, forgetting that she was with Peyton. He hadn't heard any noises all night and one of his biggest fears was that something would happen to Jenny and he wouldn't notice because he was sleeping. Consequently, he slept, waiting for the slightest noise in the night.
Considering his sleeping habits, he was surprised to find that Jillian had sneaked out during the night. He fell asleep with her in his arms and woke alone. After making a quick trip to the bathroom, he noticed the light filtering into the dark hallway from underneath her bedroom door.
He assumed that she must have just left his room and was getting settled in her own bed.
Jake opened the door slowly, wanting to take a peak at her before heading into her room. He was planning on crawling into her bed with her but was surprised to find her not in bed but sitting at her desk, the light coming from the single desk lamp, shining brightly onto an open textbook.
Jake stood, unsure of what was going on, while Jill reached towards her bed for another book that was sitting on top of the perfectly made bed that was obviously not slept in.
In the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Jake standing in the doorway. She gasped loudly, obviously unsure of who was standing there. She fell out of her chair, her hand on her heart, followed by a laugh once she realized it was just Jake.
"Can you make some kind of noise or something next time? I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest."
"What the hell are you doing?" He looked over at the alarm clock that was sitting on the table next to her bed. "It's after three."
"I wanted to work on some stuff so that we can go out tomorrow. You know, so we could do whatever you want."
Jake evaluated the situation to figure out if she was telling the truth.
"You don't have to wake up in the middle of the night to do homework. We don't have to spend all day together or we could do homework together or something."
Jillian closed her books and shut off the desk lamp, coming closer to Jake. She slid her arm around his neck and kissed him pushing him toward her bed. He landed on her bed, Jillian kneeling beside him.
"Stop, Jill." She complied. "That doesn't work. Tell me the truth." She moved to her lips toward his neck. "No. The truth." He knew she was hiding something.
Jillian moved away, back to the seat in front of her desk. She didn't understand what had come over her but she wanted to be able to talk to him, though she really didn't want to have to live with the consequences of his knowing what really was wrong.
"I had a lot of work to do so I decided to do some of it now, alright? I'm too awake to sleep anyways."
Jake glanced over her; her legs were trembling. He remembered the last time that he saw that problem was when she first started on that medication for her headaches. They had to change the dosage to help combat against the side effects.
Jillian saw him watching her legs wobble against her control. She let out one of those nervous giggles she was prone to when she was out of control of a situation.
"Don't look at me." She turned away, her hands on her face trembling to the same absent beat as her legs. "I'd rather not be able to sleep than the pain of a migraine."
Jake looked away like she asked. "I'm worried about you."
"Don't be."
"You have so much in your life. I guess I just want to make things as easy for you as possible. You seem too busy lately to be happy and I don't want you to be too busy; you'll miss things. I want you to be happy."
He looked back at her, she looked like she was about to tear up.
"That might be one of the sweetest things you've said to me."
"Its just the truth."
"I feel like I'm falling apart, you know? I take the medicine to feel better and I never sleep anymore."
"You do this a lot?" Jillian nodded, not trudging any further into the discussion. "Every night?" Again she nodded.
Jake came around the bed and sat on the edge next to Jillian in her computer desk. He placed his hands on top of Jill's little hands that were sitting on her knees. The shaking, under the pressure he applied with his hands, momentarily ceased and Jillian breathed in deep.
"Just know that I'm here to help you, even if it's just to stop the shaking." She smiled and stood.
Jillian stood in front of him as he reached and hugged her stomach. She held his face in her hands and kissed him, gently pushing him into a laying position on her bed, her on top of him. He returned her kiss, though there was a lot of doubt in his mind and in his heart.
"Nothing is different than before." She kissed his neck. "Jill, let's not do this now."
"A lot is different now. You didn't ask me to marry you again." He laughed. "And I feel a little different now."
"I'm not sure."
"You're one of those believers, Jagelski. Let Fate take this one."
He let go all the things that told him to stop, that this was not the time. He wanted to be close to her more than he wanted anything else; the second thing he wanted was to help her get through this rough patch that Peyton was talking about. He hoped that he wasn't just seeking pleasure, but was trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Jillian was just hoping to get Jake's mind off the fact that she didn't sleep anymore, spending every waking moment thinking about something that needed to be done. She needed the gratification that sex would bring. She was tired all the time and wanted nothing more than to be with him.
It was also sweet of him wanting to take care of her, though she knew things had gone too far for him to be able to fix it now.
Jake was drying his hair, walking down the stairs, a big grin on his face. He woke up alone in Jill's room but knew that he was not alone in the house because before stepping into the shower, he found a note on the bathroom; two stick-figures holding hands, a big heart between them. Jillian was a goof ball.
He rounded the bottom of the stairs, passing the book covered table and moving directly into the kitchen to find Jillian over the stove, scrambling eggs. She was wearing a pair of his boxers and one of his workout shirts. He loved when she wore his clothes.
He stood behind her, kissing her neck, listening to her giggle. He went and sat at the table, stealing a piece of bacon before leaving the kitchen. All the while they were in silence- Jill cooking and Jake watching her- Jake thought that this is the life. This is the life that he wanted to live more than anything.
"Sleep well last night?" Jake was indicating the books, papers, notes, and the notebooks that were scattered
Jillian smiled while she was bringing in the food, her back to Jake. "Old habits die hard." That was a no.
"Well, I guess I can forgive you since you made me breakfast." Jillian sat down and glared at Jake while he started eating. Once he noticed he stopped chewing. "What?"
"Go put a shirt on." Jake had his towel draped over his shoulder and a pair of basketball shorts on.
"I've never heard you say that to me." He laughed, though he realized she was serious. "Why?"
"We are eating." She was completely serious and it made Jake laugh.
"You are wearing my clothes, but you get to stay at the table."
"I'm dressed; you are not."
"I want my shirt back."
He moved toward her, grabbing at the bottom of the shirt in an attempt to take it off of her. She screamed and giggled in one while Jake tickled her so that she would lose her grip on her shirt.
Just as Jake was lifting Jillian out of the chair, the shirt already half off of her and Jake kissing her right behind her ear, Peyton came into the room, quickly turning around.
"Okay, bad timing." She began to walk away, her eyes shielded with her hand.
"No, we are done. Stay and eat breakfast with us."
Peyton lowered her hand as she turned around. Jillian was putting her arm back through the t-shirt and Jake ran up stairs to put a shirt on of his own.
"I can't stay really long. I know I said that I would watch Jenny all this weekend but I got to drop her off."
"That's okay, you gave us a whole day off. We needed the time alone."
"I can see that." Peyton arched her eyebrow, making Jillian laugh.
"Did something come up? Or are you spending the day with Lucas?"
"My dad called late last night to tell me that he is coming in this afternoon and I wanted to go down there and pick him up." It was easy to see that Peyton missed her dad and was happy that he was coming back.
"That's great, Pety." Jill hugged her. "Thank you again."
"I'm going to go." Peyton squeezed Jill and then started for the door just as Jake was coming back down the stairs. "I put Jenny in her playpen. Call me later and fill me in on what happened this weekend." She smiled her best fake smile she could muster while she walked out.
"That was weird." Jake shook his head. "Well, for me at least." He looked down at the first he put on because he thought Peyton was staying. "Want to pick up where we left off?"
She smiled at him. "Another time. Let's eat and then I need to work on my stuff for school."
Jake went back to his seat at the table while Jill went to the other room. He watched her walk out of the room, thinking how beautiful she looked, even though her hair was a mess and she was wearing his clothes. He always thought of that when she walked out of a room, knowing that she would re-enter and smile at him.
"Why did Peyton stop by?" Jill re-emerged in the room, carrying an alert, bouncy Jenny. "Never mind. Come here baby."
Jake pulled her high chair from the corner and placed the baby in it. He went into the kitchen and retrieved a bag of cheerios and placed a handful on the table part of the high chair. Immediately Jenny started popping them into her mouth and chasing them around the tabletop unable to grab them with her two fingers.
The minute she laid eyes on her baby, Jillian felt guilty about the night before. She couldn't believe that she could be so irresponsible again. Regret filled her heart and she felt bad because she knew that Jake didn't feel the same way. He was so happy and he felt that they did nothing wrong.
Maybe they didn't do anything wrong; Jillian didn't know. Right or wrong, they did not do the responsible thing of waiting till at least Jillian was on the pill. Jillian put on her best fake happiness look and ate her breakfast.
Jake looked over at his two girls while he poured on his syrup. They were sitting around the table like a little family does on a Sunday morning. The baby between them, the mom trying to help the baby feed herself, the dad glancing through the newspaper; this is how Jake remembered his childhood. It made him smile.
"I love you, Jilly." He smirked at her while he grabbed Jenny's cheek lightly, making her giggle and smile a couple-toothed smile. "I love you two, buggy."
Jake looked at Jill, obviously waiting for a reply. Jake knew that she loved him, but he liked to hear it anyways, just like Jillian liked to hear him say it to her as well.
"I love you too, Tubby."
She smiled at him though in her heart, she wished that maybe they loved each other a little less that they really do. That kind of love had only gotten them into trouble in the past.
