Thanks for the replies, and sorry that I left you hanging last time. Enjoy the update!

Chapter 10 – message in a bottle

"I…I…" I what, do I love him. Does he really love me? Okay let me think about this. Actually no, I'm done thinking. It doesn't help anything. "I love you too."

"I was hoping you did." He looks so happy and I am really happy too. I love that we are together and that I came clean about everything to him. It is so much easier since he knows about my cutting. It's hard with Brooke, maybe I should tell her, she is my best friend. I am not sure that she would understand though.

"Nathan, I think that I need to hang out with Brooke tonight, I really need to talk to her." I can tell that he immediately understood what I was saying.

"That sounds like a great idea. Good luck." He is so understanding, I love him even more now. Talking to Brooke, this is going to be a challenge. Deep breath.

"You are so understanding, thats why I love you." I lean over and give him a kiss before I venture downstairs to find Brooke. I just have to keep breathing. She is my best friend I'm sure that she will understand.

"Hey Brooke, Lucas." It could be hard to tear these two apart. "Brooke, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me tonight. You know, girls night."

"Sure Hales, I would love too. Lets go to your house." Okay she is up for it, but is she ready to hear what I am going to tell her. I really hope so because I can't just rely on Nathan, I need my best friend too. If she isn't there it would kill me.

It's been an hour and all that Brooke and me have discussed is our boyfriends and clothes. I really need to tell her, I know, but what I don't know is how to tell her. Should I just come out and say Brooke, I'm a cutter, or do I show her the marks and let her come to her own conclusion. I have no idea what to say, I guess I just have ot suck it up and go for it.

"Brooke, I have something really important to talk to you about." She looks worried, that's good, and at least it means that she cares about me.

"Sure, Hales, you know that you can tell me anything." I hope so.

"Brooke, promise that you won't say anything until I am done."

"I promise, Haley, is everything okay." I could still back out, tell some lie. No, I have to tell her. Her goes nothing…

"Brooke, I have a problem and I need your help." After that was said I rolled up my sleeves and I showed Brooke my deformed arms. "I have been cutting for awhile now and I thought that since you are my best friend and you deserved to know. I need your help Brooke. Nathan has been helping me, but I need my best friend." I look at her and see a mixture of emotion on her face.

"You told Nathan before you told me." What, that is not he reaction that I was expecting.

"No, I didnt tell him he saw the markings and he came to the conclusion. After that I told him about it, but only because he already knew."

"How long have you been doing this Haley?" Her voice was tight with anger and as I looked in to her eyes I saw no emotion. I am in total shock at her behavior. I have never seen Brooke like this before, and it scares me.

"Brooke, I need you right now, I just don't get why you are so angry."

"You don't need me Haley, you have your precious boyfriend Nathan. As long as he's around what's the point in even telling me. Seems like he has it taken care of." She is yelling now, and that is not a good sign. Brooke never yells at me, not like this at least.

"You only need me because Nathan wasn't good enough or couldn't handle it, well sorry if I don't want to be some lame ass second choice."

"Brooke, that is not how it is, you're my best friend and I need you." This isn't right, I shouldn't be begging her to listen, she is my best friend, I don't get this, I am so confused.

"Haley, you don't need me an I sure as hell don't need you!" In a second Brooke had her purse and was slamming my front door shut. She started her engine and pulled out of the driveway within a matter of seconds. I was in shock however. I cannot believe that she acted like that, and then she just left. I think she left forever. I need her; I don't know way she didn't believe me. I have only known Nathan a little while; he can only do so much. I have known Brooke forever, I need her to help me and be on my side. I look to the stairs and quickly run up to the bathroom.

I grab my razor but before I can make a cut I realize that the razor is dull and needs to be changed. I want to experience intense pain. I open up the bathroom cabinet to get another razor head when I see a little bottle of pills, labeled Pain Killers in my mother's handwriting. I am in pain and want it to stop, so these will be perfect.

I take the bottle and I pop 8 pills into my mouth, but as I think about I realize that I want quick results, I don't want to feel anymore pain, so I pop 6 more pills. I decided to sit and wait for then to have an effect. Then I look to my left and see my reflection and notice that I am pale and look scared and unnatural. Without a second of thought I am at the toilet violently shoving my two fingers into the back of my throat. Over and over again until I vomit. I try to catch my breath and I slowly rise to my feet. I walk to the phone and dial the number that I haven't use din a long time.

"Mommy, its Haley, please come home…"

I know that that was a little intense, but Iwas writing and it kinda of just flowed, I hope that it wasnt too bad, anyway thanks for reading, and please reply, I really appreciate it.