2

An hour later, Dax, looking refreshed from a good night's sleep, came in, in civilian clothing, as she was not on duty. She was holding a mug of Raktajino in one hand and a covered tray in the other.

"What's that?", Bashir asked.

"Breakfast, as promised," Dax replied, setting the tray down on the small table next to Tanner's bed, then handing the mug to him.

"Dare I ask what you brought me?", Bashir enquired dryly.

"Compliments of Quark," Dax said, flashing a smile. "A true human breakfast, he promises me."

"I suppose that would depend on which human you ask," Bashir muttered under his breath, lifting the tray's lid with some apprehension. Then he raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Not bad! And enough for two. Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a lemon danish. I know Quark didn't put that danish there."

"No, that was from me," Dax admitted, smiling as he handed her a plate. Bashir sat down in a chair, Dax claiming another. He felt odd, having a chat over breakfast with one friend while another lay unconscious right beside him.

"How's she doing?", Dax asked, taking a big bite off her icing laden danish.

"Still the same," Bashir replied, shoveling some eggs onto his fork. "Although Lieutenant T'Sarak did a mind meld just an hour ago and says she's fine, that her body's just resting."

"Thas gu nus," Dax said through a mouthful of pastry. She swallowed, then licked her fingers. "How about you, Julian? How are you doing?"

Bashir sighed as he swallowed his eggs.

"This is not something I'd ever like to relive," he commented dryly. Then he closed his eyes, rubbing them gently. "When I became a doctor, I knew I would have to face this sort of thing, and I knew the risks of being posted in deep space when I joined Starfleet. So did Shannon. I just never imagined I'd be sitting beside her sickbed waiting for her to wake up. I never imagined I'd see her like this."

Dax gave him a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know, it's hard to watch a friend in pain."

Bashir nodded.

"I think," he started, then tried to sort out what he was trying to say. "I think that this is the worst. It's like– It's almost like looking at myself there on that bed."

Dax gave him a curious look, nodding for him to go on. He sighed, poking at his food.

"We were the same age when we entered the Academy, and when we each graduated, and we always had the same goal: deep space missions. And we both got what we wanted. It's a rather sharp reminder that getting what you want doesn't guarantee your survival."

"The Dominion," Dax said.

"If they could do that to her," Bashir said, nodding at the bed, "Then what about the rest of us? Are any of us safe, Jadzia?"

Dax sighed.

"I don't know. I doubt it. But it's a risk we take."

Bashir nodded, sighing.

"I know. A lot of humans think 'it will never happen to me'. I just never thought it would happen to her."

"I understand what you mean," Dax said.

"I'm sure you must," Bashir replied ruefully. "With seven lives under your belt."

"Curzon did a lot of foolish things and he saw a lot of his friends die," Dax said.

"Well, I don't intend to let Shannon die. Not until she's reached her hundredth birthday, at least."

Dax smiled as she finished her breakfast.

"Anything else you need, Julian? Aside from a shower?"

Bashir shot her a look as he cleaned his plate and handed it to her.

"Thank you so very much. I'm fine."

"Promise me that you will at least get a shower today."

Bashir rolled his eyes.

"I've already promised Shannon I'd stay here until she woke up. I don't intend to break that."

"I'm sure the last thing this poor woman needs is to wake up to a doctor who hasn't bathed in days."

"Days," Bashir snorted. "It's been one night."

Dax gave him a radiant smile.

"Will you apologize to Garak for me, if you see him? I meant to meet him for breakfast today."

"I talked to him yesterday, but if I see him again today, I'll let him know," Dax promised.

"Thank you," Bashir said sincerely.

"Are you going to stay here all day?", Dax asked.

"As long as I have to," Bashir replied. "I have some other work to do, and I do spend most of my days here anyway, you know."

"Well, let me know when she wakes up."

"I will." Dax turned to leave, but Bashir held up a hand quickly. "Wait, Jadzia."

"Yes?"

"The Vulcan ship. Was it the Jem'Hadar?"

"Yes, but we were lucky. Only one raider, which is why we're still in one piece." Dax paused. "While we were beaming the crew to the Defiant, I was able to establish a link with the T'Kail's main computer and upload all of their data to our computer. I've transferred it onto the station's computer and the Vulcans have downloaded it. They'll be able to take it with them when they leave. Commander Tanner might want to know that when she wakes up."

Bashir nodded, relieved and pleased. It was reassuring to know that eleven months of work on the part of Tanner and the Vulcans had not gone out the airlock.

Dax bid him good-bye and left the infirmary. A few minutes later, Dr. Ilia stopped in, coming on duty. Bashir was immensely glad to have her on staff at the moment; she was on an exchange from Bajor, and here for nine months. He found himself rather hoping she would stay; she was an excellent physician. But with the increased threat from the Dominion, most of the Bajorans were opting to return home and Bashir thought Ilia might choose the same when her time on the station was up.

"How is she?", Ilia asked.

"The same. I was just going to go check on Sub-commander Varel."

"I'll do it," Ilia said. "It's my duty shift anyway. I'd tell you to go home, but I imagine you're staying here."

Bashir nodded. The blond Bajoran woman gave him a smile and disappeared to do her own work. With a sigh, Bashir turned back to Tanner, looked at her for a few minutes, then shook his head. He set himself to the task of the odds-and-ends jobs that rarely got done on time around the infirmary, trying to keep himself occupied. After awhile, an Andorian came in, seeking some aid from a sprained wrist she'd sustained in a holosuite. Bashir sent her on her way to see Ilia. About a quarter of an hour later, he saw Sub-commander Varel leaving and then Ilia came to see him. Bashir stepped into the corridor.

"She checks out, and she says she feels fine, and I can't see any reason to keep her here any longer."

"Good," Bashir replied. "Commander Sisko will be happy about that."

"So will the Vulcan commander, I imagine."

"What about the Andorian woman?"

"It turns out she had hairline fractures on her lunate and capitate, as well as some muscle strain. I've regenerated the muscles and healed the bones, but I'm keeping her here to rest for about half an hour. She didn't seem adverse to that."

"Glad to hear it." He paused. "How are the Vulcans and Andorians getting along?"

Ilia laughed.

"The reason you just saw Varel leaving is she was talking to our Andorian patient for ten minutes. Last night, I saw the Commander Sokath and the Captain Viryl in Quark's, comparing data."

Bashir raised his eyebrows.

"In Quark's?"

Ilia shrugged a smile playing on her lips.

"It's as good a place as any," she commented.

"I suppose so," Bashir conceded.

Ilia flashed a grin.

"I'm going to check on my patient," she said, and went back the way she'd came.

Bashir returned to Tanner's small room, letting out a deep sigh. This was going to be a long day. He went back to work, fighting the urge to check the time every five minutes, or to give Tanner constant scans.

He was in the middle of checking an inventory report– and trying not to nod off over it– when he heard a small noise from beside him, the faint, shaky sound of a deep breath being drawn in. Bashir snapped his head up and saw Tanner's eyelids fluttering. He put the datapad aside and stood, taking her right hand in his and touching her forehead with his left fingertips.

"Shan?", he said quietly.

Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his, although they were glassy and slightly unfocused. A moment later, they cleared and a smile tugged at her lips.

"Hey, Julian," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"How do you feel?"

"Really thirsty," she managed.

Bashir got her some water quickly and held her head up so she could drink it. She downed all of it quickly, then he let her lay back.

"Better?"

"Much."

Bashir pulled her into a hug, taking care not to sit her up too much or too quickly. Tanner wound her arms around his shoulders, hugging back, although her grip was weaker than usual.

"How long have I been here?", she asked.

"Nineteen hours."

"What about the others?"

Bashir smiled.

"Everyone else is all right."

Tanner coughed and he helped her sit up a bit for a moment.

"Just me, needing all the extra attention?", she asked, her face still pale, but her brown eyes sparkling.

"There were some other injuries, but you're the last one still here. Sub-commander Varel just left a couple of hours ago."

"What about T'Sarak?"

"I let her go this morning."

"Morning? What time is it?"

"Just after twelve hundred hours. What's the last thing you remember?"

Tanner's brow furrowed as she thought.

"You… and T'Sarak. I think T'Sarak was doing a mind meld."

Bashir stared at her in shock.

"You remember that?", he asked.

Tanner nodded carefully.

"You were unconscious," Bashir told her.

She blinked at him.

"Well, your memory seems to be working just fine, then," Bashir said.

"Better than normal," Tanner replied. "Can I sit up?"

"If sitting up is going to lead to standing up and walking around, then no, not yet."

She gave him a look that he knew so well: wry, with a twinge of amusement and impatience.

"Julian, I have to go to the bathroom."

He felt his lips fighting a smile.

"All right, fine," he said, and helped her sit up. "But we're going to do this slowly. If you get dizzy at all, I want you to tell me."

"You're the doctor," she replied.

"Just you remember that."

Carefully, he helped her to her feet, one arm under her shoulders to support her, his right hand holding hers to keep her right arm around his shoulders.

"I feel fine," she assured him.

"I've heard that too many times from too many patients. You were unconscious for almost an entire day, Shan."

"I'm not arguing with you," she replied, a smile on her lips.

He got her into the small bathroom and she pointed very firmly at the door. In this, he relented. Despite what he'd just said, Bashir knew Tanner well enough to know she'd ask for help if she needed it.

When she was finished, he helped her back to her bed, but let her stay sitting while he took some scans.

"Well?", she asked.

"You're fine. How do you feel?"

"I have a bit of a headache and I'm stiff."

"That's to be expected. Nothing else, though?"

"No. Should there be?"

"Well, you had a punctured lung, broken ribs, a broken right humerus and a concussion. But you seem to be healing just fine from the looks of this…"

"That's good," Tanner said, then rubbed her eyes. "Would you like to tell me what else is wrong?"

Bashir blinked at her.

"How did you know?", he demanded.

"Because I've known you for eleven years, and you're really terrible at hiding things."

Bashir glanced down at the tricorder before looking back up at her. Tanner watched him carefully. Although her face was still paler than it should be, the result of her injuries, her brown eyes were sharp and intent. She pressed her pale lips together, then raked a hand through her long brown hair.

"All right," Bashir relented. "But nothing else is wrong. There's just something different."

Tanner gave him a puzzled look and Bashir picked up a datapad, calling up some information. He stood beside her bed, giving the 'pad to her, then pointing to the scans he wanted her to see.

"You see this one here? That's your brain wave patterns from eleven months ago, when I did your physical before you left on the T'Kail. The one at the bottom is Sub-commander Varel's scan, which I took yesterday, and it's for comparison. The one in the middle is the scan I took for you last night."

Tanner looked between the three readings.

"I don't understand," she said. "Why have my brainwaves changed?"

Bashir sighed.

"Well, I was hoping you might help shed some light on that. Did anything happen to you while you were with the Vulcans? Did you come into contact with any virus or entity?"

"No," Tanner replied, looking puzzled.

"Did any of the Vulcans perform a mind meld on you?"

"Well, yes, once. They taught me some Vulcan meditations and I was curious as to what a mind meld was like."

"But you didn't notice anything unusual about that? Nothing really– I'm not quite certain, but maybe overpowering?"

"No," Tanner replied. "T'Sarak did it and she said it was fairly straightforward with humans."

"What about the meditation?"

"It was just meditation, Julian."

Bashir rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"You didn't hit your head, or anything?"

"No, nothing remotely injury inducing happened until we were attacked by the Jem'Hadar."

"Did you have any medical scans taken by the Vulcans?"

"Yes, of course. I did three away missions, and I was scanned each time I got back to make sure I wasn't carrying any pathogens."

Bashir nodded, glad for that.

"Good, that will give me something to compare these new readings to."

Tanner looked relieved.

"We you able to save our ship?", she asked.

"No, but Lieutenant Dax was able to upload your computer's memory into the Defiant, which means you haven't lost your research data and I can access your medical scans."

"Have you told anyone about this?", Tanner asked, gesturing vaguely with the datapad.

"No," Bashir said, taking it from her. "I am your doctor and this is your… condition. I'm not even sure it can be called a condition right now. I don't know what it is. But I know it's not a virus or a bacteria, and I know it isn't causing you any harm. Until I've figured out what's going on, I don't intend to share this with anyone." He shot her a meaningful look. "I know what it's like to have an unusual medical history."

Tanner gave him a grateful look.

"I've got to keep you here for observation anyway. Come on, lie down again. I'll raise the head of the bed, if you'd like."

Tanner nodded and helped her lie down, then adjusted the bed so she was half sitting up.

"I'm going to get one of my nurses to go get you some food– some real food, not this replicated garbage."

"How long are you going to keep me here?"

"I don't yet. But those were serious injuries and you need to rest."

Tanner nodded.

"All right."

Bashir smiled at her.

"Don't worry, you're fine. And I won't torture you with my company longer than necessary." He gave her smile. "I'm glad you're back among the waking. I'll be back in a moment."

She nodded and Bashir left quickly, in search of an on-duty nurse.


Commander Benjamin Sisko entered the infirmary and met Bashir in the corridor. The doctor was clean shaven and look rested. Sisko immediately filed this information mentally under "good news".

"Ah, Doctor. How's our remaining patient?"

"Go ask her yourself," Bashir said with a smile, gesturing to the small private room. Sisko stepped inside, followed by Bashir, and Tanner looked up when they entered, smiling.

"Commander Tanner," Sisko said, "Good to see you awake again."

"Thank you, sir. It's good to be awake again." Her Welsh accent was as crisp and strong as Bashir's English one.

"How are you feeling?"

"Other than tired, I feel fine, sir," she said, and she looked it, too. Especially when compared to how she had looked coming out of surgery. Sisko had come to the infirmary immediately after the Defiant had docked, just in time to see Bashir putting his comatose patient on a biobed. Sisko did not think he would ever forget the expression on Bashir's face as he and Nurse Nadir transferred Tanner from the stretcher to the bed; it was the expression of a man in his own personal hell.

Sisko knew exactly how that felt.

Now, Tanner looked more or less the way he remembered from her stop here eleven months ago, save for the paleness of her face and the fatigue around her eyes. And the infirmary pajamas.

"Glad to hear it," the commander said, grinning. "How much longer is Julian going to hold you here?"

Beside him, Bashir gave a derisive snort.

"At least a day, sir. I want to make sure she gets enough rest and recuperates properly."

"You'd think he doesn't trust me," Tanner commented, her eyes twinkling.

"I trust you," Bashir countered. "It's Quark and his racquetball holosuite program I don't trust."

"I've spoken to Starfleet Command," Sisko said to Tanner. "Since you weren't scheduled to return to the Alpha quadrant for another four weeks, they've granted you and Lieutenant T'Sarak permission to remain on the station and analyze your data here, if you'd like. You're certainly welcome to use our science labs."

"I would appreciate that," Tanner said. "What about the Vulcan scientists?"

"I had a meeting with Captain Viryl and Commander Sokath, and Viryl has agreed to give the Vulcans passage home if the Vulcan High Command approves it. Apparently, Viryl and Sokath are eager to exchange the results of their studies. I'm sure the Vulcan Science Council and the Andorian Science Authority won't be too hesitant to promote that kind of cooperation."

Tanner smiled.

"I'm sure they won't."

"Admiral Paris sent the information about your next posting. Apparently, both you and Lieutenant T'Sarak are being offered positions on the USS Blessing Way."

"The Blessing Way?"

"One of the new NCX ships. It's undergoing final construction at Utopia Planetia right now, and should be under way within six weeks. I've brought you the information on the posting and the mission."

He gave her a datapad, which she accepted with a nod.

"In the meantime, the Enterprise is scheduled to pass by here in twenty-five days, and they will be able to take both you and Lieutenant T'Sarak back to Earth before the Blessing Way is launched. Admiral Paris assures me that if you don't want to do another deep space mission for the moment, that Starfleet Command can find you a research lab on Earth."

"Thank you, sir. I'll consider it," Tanner said, but Sisko thought he could see the decision in her eyes. He had seen it in so many of the officers here: the need to be out there, exploring. He saw it in the mirror whenever he looked at himself.

"I've also been assured that Starfleet will contact your family and let them know what's happened and that you're back in the Alpha quadrant."

"I'd like to speak to them, too, sir. It's been a long time."

"Of course. Let Doctor Bashir know when you're ready, and we can establish a link with their homes."

"Thank you," Tanner said sincerely.

"I've also been asked to inform you that Commander Sokath wishes you a speedy recovery. I imagine he'll be down to see you shortly now that you're awake."

Tanner smiled and Sisko saw a rare look in her eyes: true appreciation for Vulcans. He had seen in a few other humans, those who actually managed to make friends with such a behaviorally alien species, and he respected that.

"Thank you, sir. I'd like that."

"Good. Don't let Julian keep you here too long. I think he likes having patients in here a bit too much for his own good."

"Or for mine, sir," Tanner said with a small, mischievous grin.

"If you don't stop harassing your doctor, I'm going to give you something that will really help you sleep," Bashir threatened with a smile. "You may be a lieutenant commander and I may only be a lieutenant, but this is my infirmary and I don't want my recuperating patients getting too rowdy."

"I don't plan on disobeying your orders, Doctor," Tanner said, smiling as she did so.

"Good. Then get some rest."

"I expect to see you soon, Commander," Sisko said with a grin, and then left. Tanner raised her eyebrows at Bashir, then reclined the bed, closing her eyes. The doctor smiled, shook his head, and let her sleep.


Julian Bashir removed his uniform jacket and sank onto the edge of his bed with a deep sigh. He rubbed his eyes wearily, trying to banish the headache that was brought on by fatigue and doubt.

It had been a long two days, and it didn't promise to get any smoother soon.

Commander Sokath had readily released both Tanner and T'Sarak's medical scans, so that they could be entered into the officers' Starfleet medical records. Bashir had checked T'Sarak's just in case, but there was nothing unusual about the Vulcan's scans, nor had their been when Bashir himself had examined her.

The Vulcans hadn't noticed anything in Tanner, of course, as they had been scanning for pathogens, not brain activity.

He stared at the datapad in front of him. There were three scans on it. The first, taken twenty-two days after entering the Gamma quadrant, was normal. The second, taken after six months, was halfway between Tanner's normal waves and her current ones. The last one, taken five weeks ago, showed the same levels she displayed now.

But there was nothing to indicate why.

With a frustrated sigh, Bashir tossed the datapad onto the table beside his bed. How was he supposed to determine what was going on when there was no hint as to what had happened? The scans the Vulcans had taken showed her to be in perfect health. The physical Bashir had done before she left showed the same. Once she had fully recovered from the attack, he knew he would get the same results.

She was acting no differently than he'd ever known her to. Every other system in her body was functioning normally, except her brain.

He changed into his sleep wear, and lay down on the bed on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Lights off," he sighed.

The room plunged into darkness and Bashir closed his eyes.

Despite the problem with which he was struggling, it had been a long two days and he felt himself drifting off. He was grateful. Already half asleep, he yanked the covers over his body and tucked his hands behind his head.

Within another few moments, he was asleep.

He slipped into a dream. There wasn't much he could see; everything was blurred, but the colours and overall shapes of things seemed familiar to him. He could hear the faint sounds of a conversation in the background, although he had no idea what was being said. The voices seemed familiar. The small noises coming from around him also seemed routine. The hum of the lights, the faint beeps of machinery.

It was his infirmary, he realized.

It was quiet and the lighting dim, so it must his infirmary at night.

Bashir felt peaceful; this was so common to him that it was like a second crew quarters. These were everyday noises, everyday voices, the background noise to his life.

"Julian?", a voice whispered just inside the edges of his hearing.

Bashir's eyes snapped open and he sat up before he was fully awake.

"Shan?", he demanded, looking around the dark room. "Lights!", he snapped.

They came on full, momentarily blinding him. Wincing, he squinted hard until his eyes adjusted, then looked quickly around his bedroom.

He was alone.

Bashir clambered out of bed and did a quick check of his entire quarters, coming up empty handed. He stopped in the livingroom, chewing his lower lip.

He knew he'd heard Tanner's voice.

Quickly, he returned to his bedroom, changed back into his uniform, and headed down to the infirmary.

Inside, the atmosphere was exactly how he'd dreamt it. He could even hear the muted conversation from his dream, and this time, he recognized the voices: Dr. Ilia and Nurse Nadir. He came upon them a moment later, and the women looked surprised

"Julian?", Ilia asked. "Is everything all right?"

"I– think so," Bashir answered. "I've just got to check on something. Don't worry. No emergencies."

Ilia nodded, looking puzzled, but returned to her work with Nadir. Bashir hurried down the corridor into Tanner's room.

It was mostly dark, illuminated by a faint blue light and the instrument displays. Tanner was sleeping peacefully on the biobed, on her back, with her hands crossed over her stomach. She did not stir when he came in, and Bashir checked all of her vitals quickly. Every reading was normal– well, what was becoming normal for her– for a sleeping body.

He sighed, rubbing his chin, cursing to himself.

In the morning, he was going to have to have a very serious talk with the Vulcans.