Grissom walked into his office and saw the thick envelope on his desk. He sat down and opened it up. There was a disk and then resignation papers. Sara's...Grissom was confused and then he grabbed the disk and popped it in his computer. A single file was on it so he opened it up.

It said that this was what he wanted. What he would read was the explanation he wanted and in the end was the reason she left. What she said was:

Everyone has an image they place me as here in Vegas. Some think of me as cold, others as to empathic, and some just think I work too much, but what you're going to read Grissom, is what I was and what made me who I am, who you see me as. I don't care if you let the others read this or what you choose to do with this, but I didn't want to leave without you knowing why. Why I'm leaving is because I've out stayed my welcome. I should have left before, but you said that I should stay so I did. In the end look at me. I've been suspended for telling off Catherine and who knows what's next right? I knew that if I had to explain this to you face to face, then all I've worked for would come to an end. I'm not who you think I am Grissom. What I did in the past was dark and what I went through was darker. There's a reason I'm the way I am. I told you part of it. You know I had a brother, and that I watched my mom kill my dad. Yeah small thing in my hell of a past. So read on and here's your explination.

Until I see you again if I do, Sara Sidle.

"Grissom," Catherine said from the doorway and he looked up. "I need to borrow Sara for a case since you borrowed Nick."

"You can't," Grissom replied and Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" Catherine asked.

"She quit," Grissom said and Catherine walked over to where he was.

Together they closed the office door and sat at the computer, and began to read.

> > > > > >

(Sara's Point of View)

AN: I know this is in the past but recent music and songs I know are what's going to be playing because these songs would fit in. You all can deal. I'm turning 14 this month so don't know 80's music that well.

There are so many places I could begin you could never guess. I could start in Middle School where the conquering and my addictions began. I could start in High school where I was at my worst. I could start where I realized what was going on and how my brother died because of similar means that I was doing. I could start way back as to why I would even consider doing stupid things like I did. When you're a kid you don't want to think about the consequences.

Maybe a little background will help. I was born Anjelita Maria Alejandra Servantez Ramirez. I went by Anjelita Ramirez. I was born in Tamales Bay, California when my parents were there on vacation with my brothers and sister. My dad was latino and my mom was born in the Caribbean. My two older brothers, and older sister were all born in Monterrey, Mexico. I was born with my twin brother Xavier in California so we were deemed US citizens. My mom finally convinced my dad to settle in the States. So they moved to Tamales Bay.

My siblings from oldest to youngest went Tadeo, Javier, Catalina, then me and Xavier. Our latin heritage was big to our dad. My first language was spanish. My parents were also devoted Catholics so we grew up in church. My parents taught us all "Life's three virtues" which were Love, hope, and faith. Something we heard our dad saying later in life was "La fe es inĂștil, la Esperanza un dolor, y el Amor pica con fuerza." It means roughly: Faith is useless, Hope's a pain, and Love stings hard.

We lived most of our lives with our parents. As Xavier and I got older though we noticed our parents arguing way more often. When we were 9 our dad snapped and well...we won't go into details. Xavier and I were 9, Catalina was 11, Javier was 12, and Tadeo was 15. We all went into Foster care and that went to hell. Tadeo was never seen again and for all I know he could still be alive. Javier died in his foster house. Catalina stayed with Xavier and I, and ended up dead the same night we were sent to the hospital in a car crash. Basically, my dad was right when he said all that stuff about love, hope and faith in my eyes.

Finally Xavier and I landed in a house that we stayed in for more than a year, a personal record. Best part, the parents were oblivious. They were the coprorate type and we were there as presentation. All we had to do was get good grades, look pretty around the others my parents worked for, then we could do whatever. That didn't turn out too good.

Alright I think that's enough background for you. In middle school I did in total three assignments on my own, but I got straight a's. That's the plus side of having people who wanna be like you. Get them to do your work. Sit next to some nerdy kid who will let you copy off his papers on test just if you talk to him. It also helped that Xavier was a genius. He got all a's and all, then would spend his day at the beach surfing.

Soon as everything went to hell and most of our real family was dead, we couldn't give a crap what we did. We didn't care about anything anymore. At school Xavier was the idiotic surfer/skater. We all know the type. Always got detentions because he was skating on campus and stuff like that. Then there's those girls who are beyond popular, and seem beyond the rules. That'd be me. Came into classes late, didn't do anything, yet got A's just to piss off the teachers. Trust me it worked real well.

Anyways, the thing is that Xavier and I were the total opposites. I was the popular crowd, he was the outcast with his gang. Didn't matter just as long as we rarely mingled together. Guess I should start with the details.

It was my last year at Tamales Bay Middle School. As 8th graders we ruled the school, and boy did we rule it good.

> > > > > >

September 15, 1984 in Tamales Bay, California.

"Girl if you don't hurry your ass up we're going to be late to school," my brother Xavier said as I tied my long wavy hair up.

I called him Blaze like everyone in the town did. We had a hell of a past. I grew up seeing my parents drinking and smoking so that I didn't realize that it wasn't normal. Then I realized something was wrong the first day I saw my dad hit my dad. Then he started hitting Blaze and me. We're twins. So when we were 9 when he snapped. We went into foster care. We finally settled in our third foster house for awhile, the Russel house where I stuck with my name Anjelita Ramirez. So we're headed to 8th grade, but I want to tell you about the Russel household a bit. Our mom and dad divorced when we were in 4th grade and now that we're in 7th, they're separated and we live with our mom, Melinda. She smokes and drinks a little but not enough to where it's bad for us. Mel's dating this guy who I can't stand. Blaze doesn't care. He spends his time with his friends out surfing, and getting high. So, he does his thing, but I'm not as lucky. A month into my mom and step-dad's relationship I saw him sniffing coke in the bathroom one morning. From then on I hated the guy and couldn't give a shit. While our mom was away and he was there he'd hit me as usual, but I just let it happen.

"I'm coming dumbass," I said to Blaze and we headed outside with our backpacks towards school.

"Watch what you call me Anjelita or I'll kick your ass," Blaze said as we walked.

"Yeah right wuss," I countered and he just scoffed.

I cut to the other side of the street and met up with my friends. We had dominated elementary school and were now doing the same for middle school. Us three wore low jeans that clung tight to our new curves, and tight shirts that showed our tan bellies. We were the popular kids as everyone would tell you. Our hair was perfect as was the makeup we aquired by means of survival. So we entered West Tamales Bay Middle School walking in and seeing our friends from before.

"Anjelita girl," Nikolai grinned walking over and sliding his arm around my waist and I turned to him.

"Nikolai," I grinned kissing his cheek and hugging him tight.

"Ladies," Nikolai grinned to the other two and his guys smirked as I looked at them.

"Hey boys how bout some lovin'?" I grinned and they smiled.

I hugged and Kissed Nikolai's friends, Mason, Jared, Bryant, and Alejandro. My girl friends also got in with the love from the guys. My girls were Amber, Jessica, and Nikki. We all walked through the hallways nodding a people we knew and making fun of the lower class kids as we went by before Amber and I spotted some guys looking at us. We walked passed with smirks and our usual slutty looks on.

"Hey boys. Enjoyin the show," I grinned and they hollered appriciateively to us making us grin and laugh.

"Anjelita come hang with us after school," One of the guys grinned.

"You wish Antonio," I grinned as I linked arms with Amber and Nikki.

We walked through the hallways and nodding to people who called out names. We passed a few new kids in our 8th grade classes and looked at them in disgust. Normal kids. Oy! See we dressed slutty, got the guys, took the risks in school, and because of that were envied by all afraid. At lunch I got up to go talk to Nikolai out on the field.

"See you in Geo," I said to Amber who nodded.

I got up and walked out getting calls in my wake. I noticed one of the new girls following me and I let her as I walked trying to decide if I should talk to her.

"Nice shirt," I said not turning around as I walked.

"Cute Belt," She replied and I paused turning.

I eyed her over. She wore jeans, converse, a t-shirt with a heart in flames on the chest, bracelets and a wristband. Her blonde hair fell just at her shoulders. This all compared to my black tight pants, black top that tied down the middle revealing my belly ring, black bracelets and a silver cross that fell from my neck. My dark brown hair fell wavy past my shoulders and I wore black converse also.

"Meet me at Main Street and Central at 6 to shop," I told her and pulled out my trusty gel pen from my pocket.

I grabbed her arm and wrote my number on there.

"Come or give up," I said and started to walk away.

I realize now that I didn't even ask her name nor give her mine. I just gave her my number and left. That's when it started. By the time I was through with that girl, she would have been transformed into one of us...something that no one should want to become.