Lyric Credits: I used a line from Chances Are by Bob Seger and Martina McBride as the title of this chapter. This song is off of the Hope Floats soundtrack


R e v i s i t e d
A One Tree Hill Fanfic by 0621


Chapter Five: You're the Only One I Can't Forget

Karen hadn't changed anything in his room. That was the first thing Lucas noticed as he stood in the doorway, frozen in place by a wave of emotion. For so many years, this room had signified everything that was good in the world. He'd been living at Dan's for so long that he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to come home. And now that he was standing on the threshold of his past, he felt very acutely a sense of great loss. Nothing was the same, nothing was simple anymore. Nothing would ever be that simple again.

He'd come to see his mother, though as of late their reunions had been lacking in warmth and fuzziness. He knew that she didn't understand why he chose to live with Dan, and he hated that he couldn't tell her. While it drove him insane to cause her pain of any kind, in the end he knew it would be better to protect her as best he could from the firestorm he was about to bring down. He was going to nail Dan Scott to the wall, no matter how long it took, no matter what it took. And the less Karen knew about it, the better.

He took a step into the room and glanced around, sliding his hands into his pockets the way he always did when he felt vaguely uncomfortable. He'd missed this place more than he'd thought, and that was saying something. Finally, he perched himself on the edge of his old, familiar mattress and took a deep breath. It felt good to be back, even if it was just for a short visit. It reminded him of who he was, of what was important to him. Being in his old room helped Lucas put his entire world back into perspective and allowed him a moment to refocus.

He was just stretching out on the bed to close his eyes and relax for a moment when there was a quiet knock in the direction of his open bedroom door. He opened one blue eye and for a moment was transported back in time. There was Haley, his best friend and sole confidant, standing in the doorway of his room after a shift at his mom's café, and just as full of life as she'd ever been.

Except for that was the old Haley. The new Haley—the one in his doorway this afternoon—looked tired and worn, and her puffy red eyes gave away the fact that she'd recently been crying. Lucas opened his other eye and propped himself up on one elbow.

"Hales…"

Haley hesitated, her voice strained. "I saw your car out front and…and…"

She took one hesitant step forward, and then dashed to his bedside, the tears streaming down her cheeks once more. She climbed onto the mattress next to him and he scooted to make more room for her, gathering her up into his chest. She buried her face into his shirt and choked back a sob. He could see traces of blood on her fingers, but she didn't appear to be cut or scraped anywhere. The fact that she was here at all, however, told him that something was seriously wrong.

"What's going on?" he murmured, keeping his voice low and soothing as he rocked them both gently. He really didn't have to ask—he knew that Nathan and Haley were going through some serious trouble. Still, he also knew how therapeutic it could be to put a name to the emotions and fears boiling up inside.

"I've ruined my marriage," she managed, sucking in ragged gulps of air as she tried to control her tears. His fingers ran through her hair and he sighed.

"You didn't ruin your marriage, Hales. You and Nathan are just going through some hard times. But you guys love each other, and I know that you'll be able to get through this."

Haley shook her head against his chest. "I just walked out on him again, Lucas. And he didn't stop me."

Lucas blinked in mild surprise. Perhaps things were more serious than he realized. He'd been so wrapped up in his own struggles lately, and Nathan had been so closed off, that he hadn't really been paying the amount of attention he should have to the people that mattered to him.

"What do you mean?" he asked carefully, hoping to get the story straight.

"I went to the apartment, and we got into a fight. And when I asked him if we could…" She choked off. "I just left. I couldn't be there anymore. And he didn't even say anything."

Lucas was silent for a long time, mulling this over in his mind. To be completely honest, he had no idea what to tell Haley. He was hardly the go-to guy for relationship advice. So far he'd screwed over pretty much every relationship he'd ever been in. And he'd certainly never been married. But Haley needed him, and he needed to be there for her. That was just how their friendship had always worked, and now more than ever, the two of them needed to lean on each other.

"He hasn't been himself since you left. For a while he went back to the old Nathan. And after that he just closed himself off, stopped talking to anyone. He's taking this whole thing really hard, but that's only because he loves you. Don't give up on him, Haley," he told her, his voice soft but firm and his eyes burning into hers. "He hasn't given up on you, no matter how hard that is to believe right now."

She held his gaze for a long moment, her brown eyes wide and serious. There was a sadness behind them that didn't used to be there, and Lucas' heart ached to see it. His arms pulled her closer and tucked her head back into the curve of his neck gently. Things had changed, that was for sure, but one thing would never change, and that was how he felt about Haley. They were bonded for life, friends no matter how much time went by or how much distance spanned between them. Somewhere along the way he'd lost sight of that fact, but he wouldn't let that happen again. She was too important to him.

"I just don't know what to do next, Lucas. I've never been this scared in my whole life," she whispered. "I don't know how to reach him, or how I can make him listen, and I know he'll never understand—"

"You're already looking at it from the wrong point of view," he said, firm once more. "He's your husband, Hales, and he's just as scared of losing you as you are of losing him." Maybe even more so. But he left the last unsaid, choosing instead to brush his hand over her hair and let his own steady breathing pattern soothe her.

"But what if he's right? What if…what if we can't fix this?"

Lucas didn't even hesitate, his gaze looking further than the walls of his own room. "You will."

•••

"And then?"

"And then…nothing." Peyton shrugged one shoulder, trying to avoid Brooke's curious, pointed gaze by turning her eyes to something else, anything else, in her bedroom. The emotions were still too raw for her, the memory still too fresh in her mind. She hadn't really had time to come to grips herself.

"What do you mean, nothing? Peyton, you proposed to him! For heaven's sake, something had to have happened! What did he say?" The brunette waved her arms about in the air wildly for a moment, her half-painted toenails temporarily forgotten.

"He said…" There was a pause here. "He said that it was a very sweet offer, but it wasn't something to rush into. He said that people should get married for love and love alone, that marrying for the wrong reasons was more damaging than anything, and that he didn't want me to feel pressured into a lifetime commitment, especially since we're both so young."

Brooke paused as well and stared at her feet for a long, competitive moment. "That," she said at length, "is a very Jake Jagielski thing to say."

"Well, thanks for using your powers of perception for the greater good rather than personal gain. That still leaves me at square one." Peyton heaved one of those patented Sawyer-sighs, two parts emo and one part uniquely her. Brooke stared at her blonde-haired friend, her brow slightly furrowed.

"But…Peyton, do you really want to get married? Especially right now? I mean, just take Nathan and Tudor girl for example." She reached out and touched Peyton's arm. "Marriage doesn't solve problems."

The two women stared at each other for a long time, communicating silently. Finally, the blonde lifted her had and put it over Brooke's, accepting the comfort she was being offered, and recognizing the logic behind the advice.

When did we both get so cynical? When did we stop believing that everything will work out for the good guys in the end?

"I know," she admitted. "But for Jenny, I'd be willing to give it a shot."

Brooke watched her closely, the way she did when she hoped to get a glimpse of something real behind the mask.

"You know I'm here for you no matter what," she said softly, her fingers gentle on the skin of Peyton's forearm. "I'm glad you came to me with this. Although…" A slow, warm smile curved the brunette's lips as she regarded her friend. "I never thought you'd ever come to me saying that some guy refused your proposal. I didn't think you'd ever want to be married, never mind the fact that you asked him."

Peyton rolled her eyes, an almost-smile lighting her features for a minute as she swung her pillow half-heartedly in Brooke's direction.

"Well, now I guess you can say you've heard it all. Nothing can shock you."

"There's the snarky P. Sawyer I know." Brooke's grin was dazzling. "I was beginning to worry about you." Delicately, with the expertise of one who has become well-practiced over time, she ran the tiny brush over the nail on her big toe, considering the deep red color. She was hoping some good old girl time would snap Peyton out of this latest funk, although she suspected it wouldn't help much.

"Speaking of worrying…" Peyton tried to catch her friend's gaze. "What's going on with you? You might be able to fool Felix, but you can't fool me. And I heard you gave Lucas the cold shoulder at the café yesterday."

"Gossip whore," Brooke accused, trying to sound lighthearted and casual. "I'm fine, I promise. And while it's always fun to watch two boys squabble over you, I try not to encourage it between Lucas and Felix. Things are tense enough between them as it is."

The blonde shook her head, her expression serious. "I'm not buying it, Brooke. What's the deal? What's going on between you and Lucas?"

"Who said anything was going on between me and Lucas?" Brooke waved her hand in dismissal, but Peyton wasn't going to let the subject drop. She simply nailed her friend with the patented Sawyer stare and waited. It had never failed to get an answer out of Brooke before, and it didn't let her down now. The brunette crumbled, her face losing its casual nonchalance.

"Fine. You win." There was a pause from Brooke and Peyton held her breath, bracing herself. Whatever it was, it meant rough waters ahead in Tree Hill. "Lucas and I…there's something…I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to get hurt again, but when I'm with him…"

"Did something happen between you two?"

Brooke winced and Peyton realized she'd hit pay dirt.

"Something happened between you two." She sighed. "So what are you going to do? Are you going to break things off with Felix?"

"I…I'm not even sure I want to end things with Felix. Peyton, Lucas screwed me over pretty hard. How can I be sure he won't do it again. Besides…" Brooke trailed off, the look in her eyes distant and almost sad. "He doesn't feel the way about me that I feel for—it's just not going to happen."

For a long moment, Peyton was silent. Then, slowly, she reached out and drew Brooke into a warm embrace.

"When did things get so complicated?" she murmured, closing her eyes. Brooke made a half-amused, half-sad noise against her shoulder.

"When Lucas came into the picture."

"He is a complicated guy."

They laughed softly together for a minute, neither knowing what to say. They'd come a long way in a very short time together, somehow managing to rebuild their friendship and recapture the trust they'd once enjoyed. It didn't matter that there wasn't a constant dialogue anymore, their understanding went deeper than surface commonalities.

They sat in the quiet for a long time, lost in individual thoughts. It was peaceful to be this way, not to speak. There was a comfort just in the nearness of a friend, a comfort that Peyton deeply appreciated. She wanted to convey this to Brooke, but she was loathe to break the spell. Instead, Brooke did it for her.

"Hey, Peyt—" she started, but was cut off as the door to Peyton's room opened unexpectedly. Both girls turned toward the sound, and almost identical looks of surprise crossed their faces as they recognized their visitor.

"Nathan," Peyton managed, stricken by the look on his face. There was blood on his shirt and a little more on his hand, his hair was disheveled and his eyes were stark and desolate. The skin around his eyes was stretched tightly over his cheekbones and his mouth was drawn into a firm, straight line. He looked awful, and both girls immediately guessed why.

"Are you okay?" Brooke asked, standing quickly. She took hold of his arm and made sure that the bleeding wasn't anything serious. Satisfied that his wound wasn't deep and the blood was dry and old, she led him to Peyton's bed and gently forced him to sit down. Peyton sat up and scooted closer to her ex, her heart aching for him.

"Sorry," he said, his throat dry. "I just needed to get out of my apartment, and—"

"Don't worry about it," Peyton assured him, reaching up to touch his shoulder. "Now, what's going on?"

"I think…" Nathan tried hard not to cry, but he was quickly losing the battle. "I think it's over between me and Haley."

•••

Gooseles • I really enjoyed writing chapter four. I like Peyton's relationship with Jake and the way she all but adopts Jenny in the show. Plus, I had a lot of fun throwing Felix in there to add some character conflict. I've never really liked Felix, but I do like what he does for Lucas' character. Gives him a bit of an edge, I think, the same way Nathan did in season one.Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I really love reading your reviews every chapter, it keeps me going. See you in chapter six!

l-a-c-18 • Why thank you! The Brooke/Lucas kiss was definitely a jump-starter for the drama. It's hard not to focus on them because I adore their relationship. I also like that Chad and Sophia are together in real life. They're a beautiful pair. I plan on adding a confrontation between Luke and Brooke in chapter six—they've definitely got to clear the air.

Nathan and Haley is a tough one for me, too. The direction they've taken in the show is very upsetting to me. On the other hand, I want their reunion to be realistic. I do believe she wants to make their marriage work, but the wounds are still very raw right now.

Anyway, I'm really grateful that you took the time to review chapter four and I hope you enjoyed chapter five. See ya next time around and thanks for the support!

iloveoth • I'm so glad you love the story! I'm sorry this update took me so long but I hope you liked it. The dinner scene was one of my favorites, too. Thanks for reading and taking the time to write me a review! I hope to see you in chapter six!

Rocker87 • I'm very happy to hear that you're enjoying my story! Thank you for your compliments and I hope you liked chapter five!

tardychick • I love Naley, Brucas and Jeyton, too, and I'm glad to hear that you like the fic so far! I'm sorry the update took a while, but I hope it was worth the wait.

IntentionallyCruel • Thank you for your compliments! I'm glad to hear that this story is drawing the readers in. I hope it continues to intrigue you. See you in chapter six!

HipHopper92 • Thank you so much! I hope to see you in chapter six!