Title: Deployment I

Author: Anne Taul
E-mail: annetaul@home.com
The FF of Anne Taul is archived at: http://www.geocities.com/atjag101

Rated: PG-13 (NC-17 available)
Classification: JAG Story/Adventure/Romance: Harm/Mac
Summary: How will Harm and Mac react if she's sent to war?

Disclaimer: JAG characters portrayed belong to JAG, CBS and
Paramount Television. No copyright infringement intended. All other
characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual
people are purely coincidental.

**********************************************************

Petty Officer Tiner stuck his head into the door of the JAG office
kitchen. "Colonel MacKenzie, Commander Rabb, the admiral wants to
see you in his office right away." Then turning to the other man in the
room, "Lieutenant Roberts, he asked that you be on standby to come
in on their conference if needed."

Harm and Mac followed the yeoman out, while Bud responded with a
"I'll be ready. Just let me know."

================================

ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S OFFICE

AJ Chegwidden looked up from the file he was reading as the two
officers entered. "Commander, Colonel, have a seat."

They dutifully took the chairs in front of the admiral's desk.
After a few awkward moments of silence, the admiral addressed Mac,

"Colonel, what are you working on right now that's crucial?"

"Well, Sir, I've just begun the investigation of the alleged pornography
scandal at Quantico, but it hasn't reached a critical stage yet. I'm
drafting charges for the Perry court martial, but since Captain Perry
has civilian counsel, I don't expect them to counter the charges soon
enough to get to trial this month. Then there's …"

"AJ cut her off. "Do you have anything currently in litigation?"

"Only Ensign Starker's Article 32 hearing. It starts on Friday."

"Commander Rabb, is there anyway that you can handle that?"
Mac spoke up, "But admiral, I've been preparing for that for weeks,
why would your take it away from me now?"

"Because, Colonel, you're not going to be here. We'll have to reassign
all your cases for now."

"Not going to be here? What do you mean, Sir?"

"Mac, I got word this morning that the Marine Corps is pulling you out
of JAG and reassigning you."

"What?" she was shocked, to say the least. "Where am I going, Sir?
Why?"

"From here, you'll go to Iran. After that, possibly Pakistan or even
Afghanistan. Who knows?"

"Wait a minute, Admiral." Harm interjected. "That's where the
fighting's going on. Why would they send Mac there?"

"When I saw this, I checked it out. Apparently they need more field
officers and diplomatic officers, as well, though I don't know which
you'll be Colonel. Mac's been selected because of her language
skills."

"Sir, we need Colonel Mackenzie here." Harm rationalized.

"I agree, Commander, but I can't stop the Marine Corp from deploying
its officers in a time of war."

"When do I leave, Sir?"

"You're just going to accept this?" Harm looked at her, incredulously.

"What choice do I have?" she answered.

"Here are your orders." AJ handed her a file. "You ship out Friday
morning."

"Sir, this is Wednesday. That's not much time." She observed.

"No, it's not." He conceded.

"You always told me that marines were ready to go at a moment's
notice." Harm teased.

"I guess so." She returned.

"Naturally, you can have tomorrow to prepare, after you brief the
people taking over your cases."

"Thank you, Sir. I'll be here early tomorrow to get that taken care of."

"Oh. And Commander, please organize a get together of some kind
tomorrow evening as a send off. Maybe McMurphy's or something like
that."

"Aye, Sir."

Soon they were dismissed, and Harm and Mac walked together back
into the bullpen.

"It's going to be strange around here without you." Harm stated.

"It may only be for a short time." Mac answered.

"There's just no sense in taking a lawyer and sending her to a combat
area."

"I'm sure it will mostly be negotiations and diplomatic work." She
ventured. "But I'll have to be prepared for anything."

"See you later, Harm," she said, as she entered her office, "I'm going
to make a list of stuff I've got to get done before I can leave."

=========================================

THAT NIGHT
MAC'S APARTMENT

Mac picked up a stack of laundry and headed to the front door to
answer the persistent doorbell.

When she opened it, Harm stood in front of her, smiling broadly.

"Hi." She said, weakly.

"Hi, yourself." He replied. After a pause, he continued, "I thought I'd
stop by and see if I could help with anything."

"I don't think so," She responded, "but come on in and keep me
company."

He entered, closing the door behind him.

They sat on the couch. "Mac, I'm really going to miss you."

Anticipating the change of duty station was one thing, but this was the
reality, and it hit Mac hard. Leaving Washington. Leaving JAG.

Leaving Harm. It all might be too much. Harm's sparkling green eyes
caught hers and she whispered, "Me too."

Then she got up and walked to stand in front of the window. Gazing
outside, nothing really caught her attention.

"But, you know, it won't be forever,. I'll be back."

"And you'll promise to be careful?"

"Of course."

Harm sighed deeply as he stood and looked at her back. "I just can't
believe it. You're leaving JAG and leaving ... me. I don't know what I'll
do without you."

"Oh, you'll do fine." She encouraged him. But her face betrayed the
sadness she felt.

They stood still, just staring at each other for several minutes. Then, it
happened….

Harm moved closer to grasp both her shoulders. He held gently, then
moved in slowly and kissed her. It wasn't a quick kiss, but, rather, a
long, slow, passionate one. She responded fully and pulled him
closer. Almost immediately, their hands were exploring each other. He
pulled away and said, I think I better get out of here before I do
something I shouldn't….. before we do something we might both
regret.

She nodded slightly.

He kissed her forehead lightly and headed to the door.

+ + +

AN HOUR LATER
HARM'S APARTMENT

He could just kick himself. He had kissed her. He certainly hadn't
meant to, but it felt wonderful and right. He had kissed her, but then
he had backed away.

The truth was that if something had happened, he could never have
regretted it. He spent half his life dreaming of what it would be like to
really be with her. Of course, he'd never get that chance now. Day
after tomorrow, she'd be gone. God knows when he'd ever see her
again.

Harm went to bed and fell into an uneasy sleep. He saw her walking
toward him. She was wearing only a towel (he'd had this fantasy
before). When she reached the bed, she dropped the towel and
climbed in next to him. He awoke to realize it was only another dream.
She was leaving him. He just couldn't stand it.

+ + +

SAME TIME
MAC'S PLACE

How could she have just let him walk out like that? She had waited
years and years for him to be ready to make a move. Maybe now
wasn't the time, but could she be sure? When would she ever have
the opportunity again to find out?

Mac hadn't been looking for this time away from JAG. But, she had to
admit that most of it did sound exciting. Part of her was actually
looking forward to it. The only reservation she had about the whole
thing was leaving Harm behind. She wasn't sure she could stand to
not see him every day. Would she still dream about him at night?
Had she given them a real chance?

Morning was going to be here early, so she headed off to get some
rest. Sleep overtook her quickly. Then he came, as he often did.
Harm entered her bedroom, with a wild look on his face. He came to
the side of the bed and stood over her. Mac waited for him to say
something – anything. But he didn't. Instead, he sat down on the bed
beside her, but kept staring at her. Harm's hand touched her face,
gently. Then he lowered his head to kiss her. The kiss was insistent
and demanding. She couldn't help responding to it with a like
forcefulness.

She sat bolt upright in bed, fully awake. She reached to shut off the
alarm clock. It was almost time to get up. Damn! Why did she have
dreams like this about him?

What was she going to do without him while she was gone. The
prospect of not seeing his face everyday, of not having him tease her
and melting under the power of that smile all weighed on her.
Why had she let him leave last night? Why hadn't she told him how
she felt? She was afraid that he didn't feel the same way. But she was
sure that he felt something. She should have made him stay and
forced them both to face up to whatever was going on between them.
With her going away, they might never have another chance.

=========================================

NEXT MORNING
JAG HQ

Harm walked briskly off the elevator to see that Mac was already hard
at work in her office, organizing files to hand off her cases. He
stopped for a moment and just looked at her. He was going to miss
having her around here.

She looked up and motioned him in.

"I thought I'd give the Baxter court martial to Bud., but it's going to
take a lot of time. So, I'll need you to take over the appeal in the
Pennington case. Okay?

"Sure." He readily agreed. "What about that investigation on the
murder at Camp Pendleton?"

"There aren't very many leads. You can have that one too. Lt. Singer
asked for the Hershey case. What do you think? Can she be fair with
that?"

"I don't know. That's a real judgment call. You better check with the
admiral."

"Will do. Harm, why are you looking at me so strangely? Are you
okay?"

"I'm sorry." He said, snapping out of his daze. "It's just hard to imagine
this place without you in it."

"Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine not being here too."

"You're going to write and keep in touch, right?"

"Of course I will."

"By the way, the staff will expect you for a going away get together at
McMurphy's tonight about 8. You'll come for a drink and good
wishes?"

"You couldn't keep me away."

"Say, Mac, why don't we go together. I could stop by and give you a
ride. Maybe we could even get there early and have a little dinner?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Great, I'll pick you up. Now, I've got to go tell everybody about the
party."

Mac continued going through her cases and figuring out where to
assign them until about noon. Then, the admiral told her to go home
and pack. With a quick, "See you for dinner tonight." into Harm's office
door, she left for what would be the last time in the foreseeable future.
She was saddened.

THAT NIGHT
MCMURPHY'S TAVERN

"That office is going to be awfully lonely without you." Harriet
observed. "Yeah, I don't know what I would have done without you
these last few years. " Bud added.

"I'm going to miss you guys." Mac stated, into a hug.

Admiral Chegwidden came to talk to her, and she thought he seemed
almost tearful. She would really miss him too. Lt. Singer made a
remark about "continuing the high standard" Mac had established for
female JAG lawyers. Mac tried to be gracious and polite in wishing
her luck.

As the party wound down, she and Harm were the last JAG staff left.
"Ready to go?" he asked. She walked to the jukebox and made a
selection. "I need a memory to take with me. Dance?"

He swept her into his arms and out onto the dance floor. They swayed
to the music and ended the song with a very light, gentle kiss. "Now
I'm ready to go." She informed him.

LATER
MAC'S APARTMENT

"Can I help you with your luggage or getting anything done before you
go?"

"Thanks, but I think everything's ready."

She was, once again, looking out the window at nothing in particular."
He walked behind her and looked over her shoulder. Then, taking her
hand in his, he led her back to the couch. "Sit down." He instructed.
She sat beside him. "What?" she inquired of his unusual behavior.

"You're leaving and I don't know when I might see you again. Mac, I
have to tell you how I feel. You can't leave without knowing."

"Okay, so tell me."

Harm placed a hand along side her cheek and moved her head close
to his. His mouth covered hers in a deep kiss.

Mac responded. She couldn't help herself. She remembered how he
had left the night before, without her even hinting at what she wanted
from him. She wouldn't make that mistake again. By this time, Harm
had pulled her to a position sitting in his lap.

He stopped for just a moment and said, "Mac, I love you. Are you sure
you want this?"

"Don't say that you love me. I want this, Harm. I want you. But all I've
got is tonight. Give me a memory to hold onto, but it can't be anything
else."

They continued undressing each other. Then, he picked her up and
carried her to the bedroom. He turned the bed down and deposited
her in it. Climbing in with her, he pulled her close and held her tight.
For a few minutes they just lay, clinging to each other. They had been
so long getting to this moment that it somehow needed to be savored.
He whispered, "You are so beautiful."

She was gazing in his eyes when she responded with, "You're
beautiful too."

Their lips fused; the kiss was so intense that it took their breath
away. Harm began running his hands over her smooth skin.
She almost panicked. "Harm, I'm gone in the morning. I don't have
anything to give you but tonight."

He assured her, "That's all I need."

=========================================

With the internal clock-keeping track, Mac woke at the time she had
determined she would need to begin getting ready for her trip. What
she found; though was that she was lying face down on top of Harm,
who was lying on his back. Her face was nestled snugly in the crook
of his neck, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her. It was
comfortable. She felt safe. She needed to get up, but didn't want to
wake him. However, their position was making that impossible. As she
moved, even slightly, he was roused from sleep. Harm looked up into
her eyes and greeted her, "Good morning."

"Hi." She returned. Then he kissed her, and her urgency in getting
up faded a little.

"You still have to leave, don't you?"

"Yeah. I need to get in the shower and start getting ready."

"Can I give you a ride to the airport?"

"Thanks. No. I've got a cab coming."

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"Me too." "Did we at least make you a good memory to take?"

"It was the most wonderful night of my life. Thank you, Harm." This
time she kissed him.

She moved to get up.

"No." he challenged. "Give me ten more minutes. Ten minutes can't
make that much difference."

"Okay, but then I've got to go."

Harm rolled them over so that they were lying on their sides, facing
each other. He kept one arm around her. With the other, he lightly
stroked her cheek. "Mac. I screwed up." He admitted, soberly.

"Oh?"

"I told you that this one night was all I wanted – that it was enough.
But, Sarah, it's not. I want more. I love you."

"Harm, I love you too, but I've got to get in the shower right now."
She stood. He grasped her hand in his and admired her form. Then
he brought the back of the hand to his lips and kissed it. "Goodbye,
Darling."

She half expected him to get in the shower with her, but he didn't.
Mac dried and dressed. When the doorbell rang to announce the
taxi's presence, she picked up her bag and headed to the door.

A note taped to the inside of the front door read:

"I miss you already. I want you in my life. Promise me that
we'll talk when you get back. Please be careful. I love you,
Harm."

She wiped a tear away as she exited the apartment.

END