With a Father's Love
By Teri

Summary: We know Xander has loved Buffy since he first saw her, but what if it was a different kind of love? Sound a little odd? You might be surprised how well the pieces fit. Come on, you know you are curious. Aren't you? Rated: PG

Warnings: Hank/Joyce - Post-Chosen with some flashbacks


Chapter 9: Boys and Girls of the Romantic Variety

"You always gave the impression you were IN love with Buffy? Why was that?"

"Ah, well you see that served two purposes. One, I had come to realize that Wills had a crush on me and I had hoped that my 'crush' on Buffy would dissuade her. Two, what better way to ingratiate myself into Buffy's good charms than being the slightly goofy, good friend, with the minor crush."

"But you always seemed jealous of her boyfriends."

"What father, especially one trying to keep his daughter alive and well, would be happy to see his daughter dating the undead? Especially stable-Mable Spike and Mr. Broody Angelus?"

"I grant that one, but Riley, Parker, Wood . . . "

Xander had the good grace to grin, a small self-deprecating look on his face. "Well, Joyce always said that Fathers since the beginning of time have been jealous of their daughter's affections. Not sure I agree, but then again I never knew Joyce to be wrong about anything." Xander looked at Giles almost daring him to make a comment.

"However, as Buffy's Father it was my job, whether she knew it or not, to make sure the guys she dated were good enough for her. Parker certainly wasn't. Wood was too bent on revenge at the time. Riley was the best of a bad lot, but still definitely not good enough for my girl. Even Pike was better than the Sunnydale lot."

"What about Cordelia and Anya?" Giles asked not able to integrate the picture of this man who seemed to adore his wife with the boy who regularly disappeared into the janitor's closet and who was a regular topic of discussion for a very sex-obsessed woman.

"Would you believe that Cordelia is the more complicated answer of the two?" Xander asked.

"Not long after Buffy arrived in Sunnydale, I started to get recurring visions of Cordelia and the Cordettes ending up as vamp bait. Other times, I saw Cordelia working with our self-proclaimed Scooby group, graduating, contributing, and fulfilling a higher calling. So, the question was 'how to get her more ingratiated with our group?' It was actually Joyce's idea. It was clear that she needed someone who believed in her, noticed her for herself not her looks or position. Joyce claimed that Cordy was just like she had been in high school. I didn't see it, but she usually just laughed at me and said it was because I was in love that I didn't see what a bit-- she had been in High School. The truth was we did kiss a little, but not as much as everyone thought. She really just needed a friend."

"You weren't much of a 'friend' when she found you and Willow, ah, 'fluking' I believe you called it." Giles asked.

Xander sigh and turned away from Giles. This was still a sore topic for him. "I still don't fully know what happened with that. I had never felt so out of control before in my life. It wasn't love, it was pure lust. It was really starting to freak me out. At first, I avoided Joyce. I was too ashamed. I quickly realized that I needed help - that something wasn't 'natural'. I confessed everything to Joyce. She was hurt at first, but then she saw my reactions when Willow came around. She realized there was something more going on. We concluded that it was a spell. Joyce at the time thought it was Willow either on purpose or by accident. I came to agree, but now after all this time I think it was all part of the plan to get Cordelia to go to LA. Hurt her; make her vulnerable, just one part of the whole plan to create Jasmine. To this day, I don't know. I can only guess. I only know that it happened and I ended up hurting a dear friend and the woman I love."

"Surely your 'fluke' with Willow couldn't have hurt Joyce more than your engagement to Anya?"

This time Xander started to laugh an action that only seemed to confuse Giles.

"You know how An, use to care more about the wish than the circumstances?"

Giles nodded.

"She knew exactly who I was. She knew that Cordelia and I weren't in love. She knew Joyce and I were. So, after she was made human. She came to me with a deal. If I helped her fit in, helped take care of her, she would act as my girlfriend. She said people are expected to break into couples for the purposes of mating and if I didn't couple I would be obvious. This way she would be my cover and help make sure I didn't cheat on Joyce and she would have someone she could trust to point her in the right direction. She then reminded me that she could spill my secret if I didn't uphold my end and that if she ever did get her powers back she would find a way to make sure I was very sorry."

"She blackmailed you into a relationship?" Giles asked incredulously.

"I was kind of in a corner, so I took her to see Joyce. The two of them worked out the terms of our agreement. After a while, the whole threat thing disappeared and the three of us became very good friends."

"And the wedding?"

"Joyce had already . . . left by the time I asked Anya to be Xander's wife. Being the money whiz she was she had already gotten me to promise that I would marry her before I changed back to Hank that way she would get my pension from the construction company. It wasn't much, but I had earned it. She was so scared with the Glory thing, I needed to give her something to look forward to and I knew there would never be anyone else for me but Joyce. I think at some point she had started to care for me and I her. I don't think we were ever IN love, but we did love each other. She got wrapped in the whole "I'm getting married thing.' I suppose I did too. It was nice to have something that felt so real especially after my little girl died."

Xander stopped and was staring at nothing. It took him a moment before he was able to continue.

"One night, after Buffy came back, we were talking. We both realized that getting married wasn't really the right thing to do that we had been reacting to circumstances not really making smart choices. She wanted to find away to go back to 'work' and I couldn't deal with being married again, even if it were in name only. So, she came up with the whole left at the alter thing hoping it would earn her way back - it did."

"You had never intended on getting married?"

"Nope, that I why I didn't fight to get you to come out here. If we had really been getting married there is no way that either of us would have let you stay away. Anya really did see you as the one other mortal person on her side."

"I had heard you were quite jealous when she, ah, that is to say, you caught her with Spike." Giles stated more than inquired.

"Well, I wasn't happy about it. I still cared for her and knew that turning to Spike was a rotten, stupid, totally beneath her idea, but most of it was play acting how I thought I should be responding based on the little left at the alter scenario we had cooked up and she knew it too. I think she liked playing the scorned woman after all those years."

"What about Ted and Joyce?"

"Appearance sake. Nothing more. Of course it turned into a big mess." Xander looked over at Giles. "So, everything clear yet?"


Xander's question is to Giles and the readers alike. Anything Giles should be asking Xander? Anything not quite make sense yet? OR are you ready to move on and have someone else run into HANK. Who? I'm not telling yet. You have to wait and see.

I am so glad a few people are enjoying this story.

Thanks,

Teri 9/13/04

PS: One of the reviews asked how things would be different if Joyce had lived. The question and its answer came alive in my mind, so expect an alternate version or perhaps someone will ask Xander the same question and we will get to see the answer some time.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your reviews, questions, suggestions, and ideas!