Title: Graves and Goodbyes
Author: Samantha N.
Rating: PG
Summary: Someone reminisces about the past and a fallen friend.
Disclaimer: I own anything you don't recognize. The rest belongs to JKR.
Author's Note: Revised version of my old story Black Rose. A thank you to the reviewers of the older version is at the bottom.
Why
was I one of the chosen ones?
Until the fight I could not see
The
magic and the strength of my power
It was beyond my wildest
dreams
Dark wings they are descending
See shadows gathering
around
One by one they are falling
Every time they try to
strike us down
Don't you die on me
You haven't made your
peace
Live life, breathe, breathe
Don't you die on me
You
haven't made your peace
Live life, breathe, breathe
As they
took your soul away
The night turned into the day
Blinded by
your rays of life
Give us the strength we needed
Dark Wings by Within Temptation
The snowfall was the first thing on my mind as I apparated. The light reflecting off of the snow assailed my eyes and dazed me, obstructing my view from the field beyond.
I had planned this visit to the battle field where the final battle had taken place for days now, but now that I was here, I hesitated, playing with the beautiful bright silver rose in my hand. The only thing that I thought about was the fact that it was silent, the kind of silence that muffles everything and makes you remember long forgotten things. However, as though I had no control over my thoughts, the familiar surroundings caused me to think the last months leading up to the battle, and the events ran over and over in my head.
I recall the relief and shock we all felt at the beginning of his seventh year, when Harry told us that in his studies he had come across the solution to all of our problems. We laughed and thanked whatever gods and goddesses that were listening for allowing us to see this war drawing closer to its end.
The graduation ceremony that year had seemed especially beautiful and meaningful; it meant, for every one of us close to Harry, that he had achieved the one thing that he had wanted in life. He had survived to become not just an adult, but amazingly brave, charitable, and independent adult.
I can still see the pleased smile that greatly contrasted the deep, weary lines on his face as he accepted his Wizarding Diploma. I remember sitting in the stands, delighted to be able to see him smile a real smile for the first time in almost two years.
We spent time after the ceremony just mingling on the grounds and enjoying the beautiful day. In fact, we were so happy and oblivious that the attack was a total surprise. It happened so suddenly that all we could do was take defensive stance and pray. I almost got myself killed as I dueled with the Death Eater Dolohov; but surprisingly enough, Draco Malfoy saved me. I was prepared to see the death and destruction, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened in those last few minutes.
FLASHBACK
The metallic sound of clashing swords reached my ears from where Harry and Voldemort fought in a blaze of incantations and sparks. There was scarcely a pause, but Harry eventually found an opening to hurt the Dark Lord enough to give him an opportunity to cast the spell.
I watched as a bright purple light engulfed them both. It seemed ages later when the light faded and I saw Harry fall. I abruptly remembered how to make my legs move, and found myself using every ounce of the remaining energy I had to get to Harry as fast as I could.
I dropped to my knees beside him and my teary hazel eyes met his emerald. He smiled and for the second time that day, I saw a contented look on his face.
"You know that I'd never leave you, right? No matter what, I'll be there for you." He looked at the tears now streaking down my face as I realized what was happening.
He smiled gently at me as he went on, "I love you guys, you're my family and nothing can ever change that. I just hope that someday you'll understand why I did what I did today, and be able to move on."
END FLASHBACK
I had held him as he died, and I'll never forget the look of peacefulness on his face. His impromptu speech was the reason for this little excursion into the past today.
I finally reached the weeping willow tree on the far side of the field, which was my destination. The snow was still falling softly, and I stood silently beside the grave hidden underneath the draping branches.
The pain of Harry's death had dulled, the last few years giving me time to cope with the outcome of the war. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I kneeled next to the flat marble headstone set into the ground.
"They say that the death of a loved one fades, you know. But I think that no matter how many people mutter that small phrase to themselves, it will never cease to be bullshit." I snorted to myself as I paused for a moment.
"If you truly love someone, that love never fades. And if you lose someone you love, that pain never fades. Most people fool themselves into being able to hide it, but… It is always, always there, waiting to smother you.
"I still think that, when we weren't looking, the pain slowly suffocated you. Maybe even as we were looking on, to blind to see anything, or possibly not wanting to see any fault in you. Not wanting to believe that the person who was to save us, needing any saving himself." I paused again, wondering if he could even hear me. But I pressed on, needing to get this off of my chest.
"I think that, during the last few years, I was allowing the pain of losing you to slowly smother me, just as you did when Sirius died. And that is the most selfish thing I could have done in this situation, Harry." I paused to blink back the tears gathering in my eyes, and to swallow around the lump growing in my throat.
"I… I think that I'm finally ready to let go." I let myself sit in silence for a while, letting the tears fall freely. As the sun started to set, I slowly stood and spoke once more to the tombstone.
"I guess this is good-bye Harry." With those words, I let the world dissolve around me, and apparated.
A/N: I hope that this longer and revised version of my older story will receive more recognition… and not embarrass me as much as the other one did…
To the reviewers of the older version, thank you, you helped me gather the courage to keep on writing and, eventually I got around to revising this old thing. kisses/hugs
Feedback: Was it too corny? Sappy? Stupid? Please let me know and hit the review button below. (Hehehe…phonetic synonyms are awesome).
