The note had meant everything to me, and I almost felt alone in all this but I hadn't been. My mother was also lost in all this; I mean to her she just lost her husband and none of us had no clue where he disappeared to, or why he left and that's what killed me. Sango had already lost a father of her own years ago to a local shooting that devastated her family completely. I don't know people expect you to pick up the pieces after everything is shattered and broken, and it hurts too much to get things back in order again. It's not like any of us can pretend that this never happened, even though that's what I'm trying to do is lie to myself. But I can't fool myself and yet knowing he left and he's outside there somewhere, and will he come back? That's one question that will only be answered if I ever see his face again.


I just sat there in my bedroom grasping the smashed and broken pieces that laid all over the floor, and the shards of glass from the picture frame that shone beautifully underneath the sun's light. I just gently picked up the pieces calmly, feeling my hand pulse and throb each moment that felt like I was continuously getting stabbed. I grasped all the huge pieces and carefully threw them out, until my room looked almost normal, almost like nothing had happened, but that was a lie in it's self.

" Are you ever going to come back? Or are you going to leave us here to die inside and out?"

I questioned holding the huge frame between my lap, staring down at the huge blown up professional looking picture of my father and I, with me dressed in a small green skirt and a smooth white top, holding a soccer ball faithfully under my arm with pride. His smile was the gentlest of kinds, and now I sat there glancing at the mirror blindly touching my face and remembering the things I had of him. Like his famous smile, and his beautiful grayish eyes. Before I would have loved to forget that, but now I was almost thankful for it.

' I can't hate you. You mean too much to me. I thought quitting the soccer team would help get rid of the hurt inside but, I think it would hurt me even more to give up on a dream."

I told myself smiling at the picture of my father, feeling my eyes slowly disappearing while I managed to hang it back on the wall, where it was meant to be. Suddenly the phone interrupted my bitter sweet thoughts that lingered around him, seeing the black phone near my bedside was the closest thing to grab. I quickly dashed for the phone quietly placing it to my ear, and realizing my mother had gotten it and I was just ready to hang up when….

' Dan.. Please talk to me! I know your there, were so worried about you. Please don't do this to us!' My mother cried from the other room with the strain of worry and despair in her voice, realizing nobody on the line was talking but she seemed to know for sure it was my father.

I had been so close to hanging up the phone until I heard my mother's voice desperately crying out, and I almost didn't believe it was him. I mean there's was no one's voice there except heavy breathing, and it the caller came underneath 'unknown name'. I mean it could have been anyone. But, I began to believe it when I heard my mother's voice sincerely crying out, almost instinctively knowing it was him and suddenly I believed it, I had to.

' Dan please don't hang up. Please say something! I know it's you, were not mad we just want you to come back home. We miss you and love you a lot, and Kagome is lost without you!'

It sounded as though my mother was having a conversation to the phone then anything else. When I heard the smug heavy breathing, and the background noises of static and trucks flying by on a highway my heart sunk. It felt like someone was grasping onto my heartstrings to the point I could barely breath, or even dare move an inch. The voice captive my whole body, standing still in the spot with the phone so close to my ear it was becoming sore.

' Dad…is that really you?'

I had thought when I heard no one respond, but yet still refused to hang up. When it came under unknown and my father was unknown as well I had imagined him standing a phone booth at some corner of a small coffee shop in the middle of no where, only surrounded by long dirt highways and tons of forest areas surrounding him. My throat was becoming tight and sore, feeling my eyes beginning to burn trying to hold back the feeling of sadness and tears hoping I wasn't going lose my breath in the phone, but I did.

My mother had ranted on and still listening to what we had assumed our father's heavy breathing until it had went quiet and my mother's voice sounded so low, and me knowing both had heard it clearly; the sound of a girl whimpering.

' Kagome, you there, honey?'

She asked sweetly trying to make the situation alright and ok, but even motherly love wasn't going to cut the feeling that was lumping in the back of my throat. I didn't say a word, all was heard on the phone was my heavy whimpering and the heavy breathing of a man's voice. My mother swallowed again, and with almost parade of happiness underneath her voice.

' Kagome it's alright. You can talk to your father, ok?"

She softly whispering hanging up the phone for my own privacy, knowing she didn't want to hurt and hear her child whimpering any longer than I did. I almost panicked, I wanted to hang up the phone but good would that do if that was him? And if he made one phone call what made me believe he'd call again? I heard a click, and finally there was my heavy whimpering and the heavy breathing. I hesitated whether to even speak up or not. It was like I was almost scared to, but this would be my first and only chance if I wasn't careful.

The heavy breathing had finally stopped, as though he was listening to my whimpers unclear of what to say to me. My hands were trembling feeling the pit of my stomach tying in a million knots almost feeling sick, as though this was a life or death situation and in a way it was. Finally, I swallowed and winced hard feeling tears linger off my cheek towards my fingertips.

" …Daddy?"

I barely managed to get out of my system. It hurt so much just to even speak that word, let alone anything at all. I waited patiently laying on my bed, staring at his photo panting a picture in my mind that he was holding the dirty phone used by many other people, and standing in front of a highway. It was almost like I could see him, but that wasn't the case.

Then the heavy breathing sped up, and next thing I heard was a final, ' I'm…sorry.."

Next thing I knew I heard another voice kicked in after a single beep, thinking he was still there.


' I'm sorry but this line has been disconnected…" The girl's taped over voice told me over and over again, and once again in French. Then I actually heard the disconnection click that made my heart bleed and felt myself hurting and whimpering even more then before. I threw the phone down, and threw myself into the pillow and smothered my whimpers ready to grasp whatever near me and throw my room upside down again

" Damnit! The minute I went on the phone to talk to him he hung up on me. It has to be my fault! He didn't hang up on my mother, but he hung up when he heard me. Why!"

I began grasping the pillow tightly that I laid on, feeling the fabric pull and rip underneath my head, towards the grip of my fingertips. It had to be my fault, I saw no way else it wasn't mine. I mean he stayed on the phone with my mother as she tried talking to him, and there was no doubt in her mind that wasn't him. The minute I had been left on the phone with his heavy breathing and tried to talk to me, he left again. Just like he had left a single bullet through my heart. How could I not feel like the cause, or the blame? It was impossible to say it was something else, when it truly felt like it wasn't.

I heard my mother whispering voice echoing outside my door hearing her talking to someone else, who's voice I barely heard through the sounds of my whimpering. I watched her grasp the doorknob and opening the door to the dark depressing room, only making out shadows and shades of black and white. The curtains were closed over, while I threw myself in the pit of darkness after that phone call.

" Kagome, you have a visitor."


Before I could respond to tell her I didn't want anyone bothering me, I already heard footsteps in the room and the door quietly closing behind me. My mother had walked off, as I felt someone throwing their weight on the bed and softly getting comfortable acting as though they didn't want to disturb me. I felt a tug against my pant leg, as I found myself brought back to life when I heard the voice that sounded like she wore her heart on her sleeve.

" Kagome, you read my letter right?"

I softly nodded, now fully lifting my head up for her even with the tears running down my face. If it had been anyone else I would of still hid and buried my head in the pillow, while they only heard sobbing and smothering words but with her, I was comfortable to do anything around her even when I felt like being alone she wouldn't let me and that's what I loved her for.

I calmly looked at her, and noticed her hair for once, was actually thrown down then slicked in her usually ponytail. Her strands of hair were tucked behind her ears, as I looked at the new piercing she had gotten in her left ear at least three small hoops piercing straight in a row. She gently rubbed the side of my back for support, while she just took her left hand and shoved me quietly against her side trying to comfort me anyways she possibly could.

" Ya I read it, when my mom gave it to me. Thanks Sango. That letter meant a lot to me. I already have to stored away with the other notes you've given me before. It had me feel a lot better."

She light bloody red shirt looked darker than normal underneath the shadows, and I could make out the outline of her and seeing sunlight peaking through the blinds hitting the sides of her face and shoulder showing me she was wearing a sincere smile.

I peered at the glowing indigo alarm clock that showed it was just hitting five, as the sun was slowly sinking down shining of beautiful rays of orange and violet through out the sky before the stars began appearing.

" Sango aren't you suppose to be at your baseball championship right now! I thought that was like your final big season you were looking forward to!"

Sango laughed softly, as the sides of her hands hit nudged me playfully as she titled her head high up to the window that covered by the blinds attracted to the beams of sunlight that was barely coming through.

" Ya well I know it's a big season, and the last play of the year. I've trained hard and have fun with it but I wanted to come see you and see how you were doing. I don't care if they play on without me, besides I place my friends first before all this stuff. Baseball means a lot to me, but you mean a hell of a lot more. Besides I'm not leaving my friend to feel all upset and alone about what has happened without me. I'll never let you be alone, even if you wanted to be!"

She yelled excitedly, and it was true. She was the type of girl that would give up anything important that she had worked on hard on, even for a simple problem that many friends could care less about. If I called her for help, she'd be move right away without no hesitation and I loved that about her. She was such a nice person, no one could dare take advantage of well, because they'd feel guilty more than ever. She placed her friends first before herself, and I knew there was barely any people in the world like that anymore, but I got lucky.


It amazed me. She had skipped the last game of the year for baseball for me, when she had her heart and soul into that game. I just smiled stupidly amazed by how she was, while she threw herself down on my bed with her arms spread out like an eagle.

" You damn well know that's true Kagome! Damn this bed is comfy!"

She commented staring at the ceiling, and patting and touching the sheets of my bed trying to figure out the material, that caused me to break out of my depressing coma as I began laughing as though I held it all in and waited for a paracular moment to let it all out. She continued rambling on seeing her jumping on it slightly, seeing her free fall into the bed that basically knocked me right off of it.

" Want to play a game Kagome!"

It wasn't really a question with her, it was more of a demand. She began laughing so hard her cheeks were transforming red, and noticed before she said another word she had jumped too high to the point her head met directly with the top of the ceiling. I watched her fall lifelessly to the mattress, while my instincts were just to laugh but I kept that bad just in case that hurt. I kneeled over her, seeing her hand covering her head while all I heard were heavily sobbing.

" Sango, you alright. Here let me-"

I could barely finish my sentence until she grabbed my ankle teasingly making me fall party off the bed, and realizing now it was heavy laughter, but regardless it still hurt. I began laughing so hard as though I never had any fun at all. It seemed my happiness, my joy, everything was sucked out of my life when my father disappeared and that's all I worried about. With her, somehow she made me forget it more and more and when she was gone I'd go back to missing my father. She just grabbed the pillow from my bed, and childish rushed over to me attacking me it until all I saw was feathers floating around, as though a dove had been hit with a bullet.

" Come on! What are you scared?"

" To kick your ass? I don't think so!"

She egged me on, as she held the pillow firmly in her hands while I narrowed my eyes still full of laughter grabbing the small pillow beside me and fighting for a straight hour until all the stuffing of the pillows were gone, and all the feathers were floating and softly covered the floor of my bedroom. We just looked at the mess and laughed, seeing the pillows were deformed as we rested on the bed, grabbing a huge glass of water and chugging it down after fighting and screaming for a straight hour, more or less.

" Kagome I heard about the phone call. I'm sorry about it. I believe myself it was your father because if I was some random person they wouldn't have hung on that long. Don't be upset he hung up on ya, I truly believed he did because he was scared that he hurt his daughter more than anyone else. I think when he heard your voice he panicked and hung up. I know even if he attempted to call, he's at least trying to tell you in a sense he cares, and that he loves you guys. Your lucky you have your father in someway, because mine is dead."

I bit down on my lip, laying my head right beside her both of us staring at the ceiling while I threw a small hand sized stuffed soccer ball toy, and my father had bought me when I came straight out of the hospital. I threw it into the air, and snapped slightly still feeling tension and wrapped up rage running through my veins again.

" Well to me he's practically dead!"

I screamed out, feeling I wanted to take back the words that shot straight from my mouth. My hand could barely catch my words and I was regretting even the simplest things that strongly came out of me. Sango smiled abit and I knew then she was thinking of her own father, and ready to give me some advice that actually did and meant a lot to me. Sango gave me a swift hit in the head, and grabbed the ball that was partly in mid-air and rested it on her chest.

" Well Kagome, you know he's alive though. He made a phone call that proved he was alive and well, and to almost indicate he's still thinking of you guys even if all you heard was breath through the phone, I mean the whole thing meant a lot more than that. People who passed can't make phone calls. The only way you know they are alive because your apart of them, and the only way you can see them is through picture frames and dreams, nothing more, nothing less."

My mouth slightly dropped and I felt so selfish now when Sango had spoke truthfully what was on her mind. I felt so rude, so not understanding that I was lucky more than some people even if my father had ran away from home. He still managed to call, and told us just by calling us he cares and that's he's alive and well. With Sango all she had was memories, picture frames and dreams to hold her through, and that was the only way to make it seem as though her father was still alive. I almost felt bad how I was acting, and felt bad for the fact I was pitying her instead of anything else. You thought her eyes would swell with tears thinking about him but instead, she had a gleam in her eyes that was indescribable, and a smile that you couldn't ignore.

" Sango…"

I said feeling almost bad, as she lifted her body partly from the bed and turned towards me with a smile, adjusting her new piercing in her ears that were clearly bothering her abit and probably felt alittle swollen since she looked like she had gotten them not even 24 hours ago. She just cheerfully placed a smile on her face and grabbed my wrist and threw her wallet from her back pocket, grasping a wade of cash with a smile on her face knowing exactly what she had in mind.

" Look don't worry about it. I'm fine! I'm more concerned about you right now Kagome. After all it's nothing none of us expected. I never thought my father would die from an incident like that, and you never thought he'd run away. But we'll always miss them. Fact is your father could come back if he wanted, I know my can't. But that's not the point. I came here to cheer you up, so let's go!"

She dragged me from the depressed looking room, throwing up the blinds letting the sunshine come through as she rushed towards the door in a hurry acting completely bubbly, when she was going too fast for me to even react to. She stood by the door way while I stood looking at my father and kept in my what she said, as her voice getting furious.

" You coming or not? Cause the movie starts in less than an hour so come on! I'll go without ya so hurry!"

I just closed my eyes tightly almost like a secret prayer to my father, while I smiled brightly sweetly whispering the words, ' No matter what you do I'll always love you.'

As I quickly sped off, hearing the jingle of the change in my pocket speeding downstairs with Sango's cash in her hands and me feeling like I could do anything now that I was with her.-


sweetypie-brat: To be honest I've never lost a father as hard as that sounds to believe through writing this story. I write about things that people lose, or under go through life as painful as it is.. I know some friends who have so it inspirited me to write something like this. I just want people to be aware about how they feel when things happen like this. I hope you didn't take offense to this or anyone for that matter.But thanks so much for you review, it truly meant a lot. 