A.T.S.T.: Chapter the 2nd

By:Somebody, Somewhere

Disclaimer:Don't own Dragonball, etc. etc. etc., blah, blah, blah. Seriously, could anyone really mistake me for Akira Toriyama and co.? I don't think so.

Acknowledgments:I wrote this fanfiction for the Insaiyan site for Vegeta Goddess' open fanfiction contest about 8 months ago and never submitted it. It was based on the A/U and plot in "Seduced by the Devil" and "Passion's Price", which she wrote.

Warning:Out of Character-ness, naughty language, and yes, horror of horrors, HUMOR.

Chapter 2:

A month passes as Bulma finishes the upgrades on the new-and-improved spaceship/time machine/dimensional crossing whatever-you-want-to-call-it hybrid really-good-gas-mileage vehicle and Vegeta gets in some serious iron pumping. They stock up on supplies for whatever situation they think they may encounter on Namek and during the 'liberation' of Chibi Mirai Trunks. But, first, Bulma has some news for Vegeta….

Bulma brushed her hands off on her slacks and looked nervously at her new 'husband'. "Vegeta, before we go, there is something I have to tell you." She took a deep breath, "I'm late."

"So the gizmo isn't ready. We'll just leave in a couple of days. Or weeks. No big deal. We literally have all the time in the world.", Vegeta answered as he chinned himself up on the bar of some newly built gym equipment.

"No, Vegeta, I'm LATE, late!" she emphasized.

"Oh, Do you mean THAT kind of late? Well, it shouldn't be much of a shock, really. I mean, we've been all over each other like bunnies in heat. How do you feel about two brats? Do you want more than just the one?" Vegeta replied calmly still chinning away.

Bulma reaches up and tickles his ribs.

"Hey, ha ha ha, knock it, ha ha ha, off!", and he crashes to the ground.

"Well of course I want more than one, I want to have lots and lots of your babies, well, okay, two really, but maybe a third if this kid turns out to be another Trunks. I always wanted at least one little girl." Bulma replies staring down at him, hands on hips.

Bulma leaned down and helped pull him up from the floor.

"Hhn, that's nice for a change, a Bulma who actually likes the idea of getting knocked up by me."

At this, Bulma punched him and said, "'Knocked Up!' What thing to say!"

So as they made their final preparations for departure and scoured the dimension's primitive, undeveloped planet for valuables to take on their trip back to their respective homes. They also compared notes on where their dimensions history diverged.

"So Bardock survived snotty mini me, huh, and all three of his spawn ended up on Chikyu?" Vegeta asked Bulma.

"Yeah, apparently he purged this world of fortune tellers, and they cursed' him with the ability to see the future, although, if they could see the future, and knew someone was going to kill all of them you'd think they would of a.) got out of Dodge City, I mean left the planet OR b.) had a nasty little surprise waiting for the planet purgers OR c.) Both of the above. At least that's what I would have done if it had been me. So anyway it was like this…."

Folks, this is going to be a chapter full of flashbacks.

Bardock's space pod had all but crash landed on Vegeta-sei. He staggered out of the ship and looked around at the dock personnel. He had made it back just before Freiza was scheduled to destroy the planet. He had another flash of the future.

Babbling to the Saiya-jin surrounding him of the impending planetary doom he staggered down the street and collapsed at a local bar. The other patrons whispered and giggled over the 'drunk'.

As he was helpless to stop or even warn them of the end, Freiza arrived, and then it was far too late. Kakkoroto was launched to Earth and was raised as a native, Turles was picked up in his pod by pirates and raised as a pirate and is killed by 'Goku', Raditz grew up Freiza's slave and died in combat with his own long lost brother. Nappa and Vegeta killed by 'Goku' a year later and Freiza dies on Namek.

Bardock abruptly straightened up, "Out of my way! I have to attend the launch of my youngest son!" He ran as fast as his he could, even though he was still badly disoriented by the alien's curse. And then it happened. Freiza had arrived, but instead of destroying the planet, Freiza was the one destroyed, by a Super Saiya-jin, a legend, he claimed to be a stranded time traveler.

The terrible future Bardock had foreseen was averted and as one of Vegeta-sei's top scientist he was assigned to find away to get rid of, er, assist the time traveler in returning to his rightful place. The legend leaves and it seems that things will turn out all right for the Saiya-jin, if it weren't for one person: the new King Vegeta.

This Vegeta was a whiny, squeaky over-pampered twit. The little brat was a self indulgent, self important, egotistical snot-faced creep! Bardock and all the other Saiya-jin knew they were in for a rough time with the little creep, but only Bardock knew about the Dragonballs.

A great dragon filled the sky surrounded by seven glowing spheres.

"Reflect a moment upon your desire…."

Bardock called his older sons to him, "Boys, we're going to go on a little vacation…"

Bardock wasn't entirely sure what the dragon or the glowing spheres meant, but in his previous visions of the other future they seemed the center of his youngest son's new life. In his vision he saw his son and various companions killed in battle and then magically restored to life, (an impossible feat!) made possible, somehow, by these glowing spheres. He knew that somehow he would find his youngest, weakest son and the old man he saw in his visions and then they would lead him to these Dragonballs.

The old man was sweeping the walk in front of his cabin with his newly acquired grandson tied on his back when a bright light streaked across the night sky. He leaned on his broom like a walking stick as he tracked the small, round silver object with his eyes.

"Shimatta, I wonder who's gonna show up on my doorstep now?"

Hey, I told you guys this chapter was lousy with flashbacks!

A tall, wild haired man and two young kids stood in front of the geezer with the baby. A casual observer would have immediately noticed a resemblance between the large, tailed man and all three tailed children.

The large man looked at the old geezer and said, "We need to talk."

And they did talk long into the night and for a good portion of the next day. Finally, some agreement was reached between them and the large man left without any of the children.

Curiously enough, before the large man left the planet he returned to his pod-like vehicle and came back to the cabin in the woods with what appeared to be a first aid kit. Moments later inside the cabin there came a yells of "OUCH, ARGHHH, DADDY PLEASE STOP!NOT THE TAIL! NOT THE TAIL!" A short time later an observer would have seen the old geezer with the wailing tail-less baby on his back and two tail-less little kids with X-shaped bandages on each of their bums wave good bye to the large man.

When the vehicle was out of sight the old man turned to the kids and said, "Let's get packed up. I want to be ready for tomorrow. We should leave early if we are going after the dragonballs."

Several months later……

The clouds roiled and thunder flashed in the night sky, an enormous serpentine something filled the sky. It resolved itself into a huge snakelike dragon.

"Reflect a moment upon your desires…"

The old geezer looked up at the dragon and said, "I wish the previous King Vegeta to be returned to life, the father of the current King Vegeta."

"GRANTED"

END FLASH BACK SEQUENCE aren't the special effects in this fanfic just fabulous?

"So my father got wished back to life?", Vegeta asked, "I bet that pleased the little bastard no end. Having to go back to being 'Prince Vegeta'!"

"Yeah, you can bet it did", Bulma replied, "Well, that's how Goku and his brothers ended up on Chikyu-sei. Bardock told Grandpa Gohan it was their tails that let them transform and also told him that if he didn't want to die of accidental trampling he'd better keep them from seeing the full moon or get rid of their tails. He hated to get rid of their 'Saiya-jin pride', but his visions told him they wouldn't really need them to become super strong, and Gohan insisted. Gramps didn't care for the part of the vision where he gets squished flat."

"So my father returns to life and mini-me gets a nasty surprise. Heh, when I was trapped in the past, that little snot was looking for some comeuppance. I literally hated myself. Why didn't Bardock just wish himself into a super Saiya-jin and take out the little creep and take over Vegeta-sei. We Saiya-jin aren't that sentimental about weak leaders, and we wouldn't pass up the opportunity to grab power, food, oh heck, anything for ourselves."

"Well, he probably would have if he knew the true power of the Dragonballs. However, he only saw visions of them returning people to life. So, he shows up on Gohan's doorstep and tells him he purges planets for a living. You think that old geezer is dumb? Hah! No way! He lets Bardock think the only power dragonballs have is returning people from the dead, and only he has the power to summon the dragon. Well, Bardock has to be satisfied with the return of 'old' King Vegeta. The Saiya-jin spend the next couple of decades fighting off an army of angry Aisu-jin led by King Cold. In the meantime on Chikyu-sei, me and the Z-senshi go off on our merry adventures. Then, all of a sudden, last year, who do you suppose shows up? 'You' and Nappa. 'You' want Goku and company to take care of the Aisu-jin. Apparently, 'You' were warned as a child to get rid of the infant Kakarotto, but 'You' sent him off to Chikyu-sei anyway. 'You' said you were sure you would be stronger than some third rate Baka and weren't worried."

"I know from personal experience just who gave the squeaky twit that advice. I knew he'd never take it. Well, I was actually looking forward to that little jerk getting the beating Kakkorotto doles out, and now I know he actually got it I'm not the least bit surprised or disappointed."

Bulma drew back to get a better look at him. "You sound as if you hate 'yourself' as much as I hated 'myself'."

"I did, and I still do!"

They ate dinner and were finishing up 'dessert' whenVegeta yawned and stretched. "Ahhhhh, so Kakkorotto didn't get suckered into marrying the harpy? That's a story I'd really like to hear. Your version must not be nearly the third class baka mine was."

"I get why you refer to him as 'third class', but why do you keep referring to him as a fool?"

"That grinning dolt? Even if he didn't have his skull cracked open as a kid the goody two shoes is always going on about 'the right thing to do' until even his team mates want to scream. I mean the guy is so dumb he didn't finish Freiza off the first time when he had the chance. For that matter, he didn't finish me off and my whole goal in life until he keeled over from heart disease was killing him. Bah, mercy!" Vegeta answered. "And don't get me started on him and women and biology, his fear of needles, and his personal hygiene!"

To this Bulma said, "What head injury?"

Yes, folks this is the cliff hanger for chapter three