AN: Set after 'Father's Day' – enjoy. Feedback would be good.
All's Fair in Love and War
She couldn't move or speak – her mind had shut down completely. She didn't even remember how the Doctor had managed to get her back inside the TARDIS. She felt empty and so alone. Guilt weighed down on her like a tonne of bricks, and she was powerless to resist. She lay on her bed, fully clothed, staring up into the darkness of her canopy. In the silence, all she could hear was the echoes of pain:
Another stupid ape…
For once you're not the most important man in my life…
You got what you wanted so that's goodbye then…
Goodbye… would he really have gone had it not been for the Reapers? Would he just have left her there, alone in a past where she could never fit in? Tears came to here eyes again, stinging as they streaked down the raw skin. That was the only ability left to her; to cry. So she did: she cried for her father; for the people she almost killed; for the sense of loss inside her; for killing the Doctor.
The Doctor. How could she ever face him again? She had killed him, and what for? For seeing her father die again? What had she gained? Nothing…
She gave way to yet more tears, and shook with the pain as she closed her eyes; remembering…
The Doctor paced up and down the control room, thinking. He was still in shock – he had almost been killed. Rose blamed herself for it, and of course, he realised, it was partially her fault. 'No', he berated himself, 'It was your fault too. You agreed to take her. You should have realised. She did what any human would've done.'
But she wasn't any other human. She was Rose. His companion. And he loved her.
He knew this for certain. When they had sat with the baby Rose in the church, she had apologised and he had comforted her. When his hand held her cheek, he wanted to reach out to her, kiss her. But he knew this was impossible. He thought he had seen love in her eyes too. But he must have been mistaken. She wasn't even speaking to him now. She might never want to even look at him again.
Anyway, even if she did feel the same way he knew that he couldn't do anything about it. He was an alien to her.
Rose's sobbing interrupted his thoughts. He had heard this many times in the last hour or so, but he had never been able to bring himself to do anything. But times had changed. He had finally admitted to himself what he felt for her. Her tears now had more of an impact on him. So impulsively, he turned on his heel and sprinted to her room.
Stopping in the open doorway, he peered into her room. She was lying on the bed, shaking with the pain of her sobs. Her eyes were tight shut and her hands gripped at the sheets, knuckles white from the effort.
He knew he should have just stayed there, not interfered. But he couldn't. She was so helpless. He needed to comfort her and he just hoped that she needed him.
He covered the gap in a few steps, and leaning down, he touched her bare shoulder lightly. She moved with such speed it was as though his touch had burned her. Staring down into her deep sorrow-filled eyes, he felt the tears overwhelm him. She gazed up at him. It was as though he was some bright angel come to wake her from a nightmare. But the angel was crying - his eyes filled with pain and sorrow; letting salty tears run unchecked down his face and splash onto hers.
Without thinking, she flung her arms around his neck and brought him onto the bed beside her in a tight hug. She was surprised at the sudden return of agility to her body, and at the realisation. It wasn't an angel – it was the Doctor. She knew this the instant she felt his warm leather coat and his hands. Hands which were now firmly clamped around her shoulders.
He buried his race in her neck and they held onto each other as fresh tears welled inside them and spilled over. Both were shaking and sobbing, letting their pain and hurt flow from them. Finding comfort in each others arms.
"I'm sorry", she whispered, her breath tickling his ear
"I know", he replied, "me too."
After all the worries and guilt, all the pain and sorrow, all he hurtful accusations, they had said it. They had apologised, and both knew that nothing more needed to be said. They were equals once again. The Doctor decided it was time to do what he knew he had to.
"Rose?"
She pulled away to look at him. He was smiling slightly.
"Yeah?"
"I need to tell you something. You probably won't like it and I won't blame you if you decide never to speak to me again. But after all we've been through I've only just realised, and well it has to be said…"
"Stop burbling you idiot and tell me", she grinned at his flushed cheeks – already knowing what he was going to say.
"I love you." he blurted.
He gazed down at her, waiting for her to do something. Say something. Anything.
The silence as broken by a choked laugh. Was she going to throw it all back in his face? He feared the worst:
"And how long did it take you? I've known that for ages - was just wondering when you'd finally figure it out. God, you aliens – so slow sometimes. I love you too you dimwit."
He stared at her, his expression was almost laughable; a cross between shock and joy. There was love in it too though, and lust…
Everything after that was a blur to them both. She felt his pulse quicken as her mouth went dry and he closed the gap between them. He noticed her ragged breathing and the warmth of her skin as he bent down to claim her lips.
Their first kiss was desperate and passionate, he ran his hands under her nightshirt, caressing her body with a tender touch; she ran her hands through his hair and moaned as he pushed his tongue into her mouth. She bit it gently, stroking his bottom lip with her own tongue, making him shiver with pleasure. He felt as though she had set his entire body on fire, he was burning up with want and need, he had to act on it or be consumed by the flames.
She pulled him closer to her, wanting to feel the double-beat of his hearts against hers, wanting to fill the empty void within her. There were still too many barriers, too many clothes separating them. She tugged at her nightshirt, and managed to free herself of its cloth embrace. She then made short work of his garments. Soon they were both panting with a fierce passion as their bare skin touched, their hands slid over each other, exploring.
He laid kisses on her breasts and sucked gently at each nipple, while she arched against him in an attempt to get even closer. He had to stop this however, when she reached down between his legs and wrapped a small hand around him. He took a moment to recover from the delicious shock before grasping at her hands to prevent further efforts. His face was contorted with the mental effort of getting control over himself.
Seeing this she panted: "Have I hurt you? What's wrong?"
He could do no more than shake his head, pointing downwards. All his attention was taken up with getting a grip on the situation.
She understood. He needed more, but wouldn't be able to last long enough if she continued along that vein. It had to be here and now then, she decided, and in so doing, pressed her lips to his in a silent consent.
With renewed strength, he kissed her back, pressing her down to the mattress. Her pulse quickened in anticipation as she felt him nudge her legs open with his knee. She obliged and cradled him between them as she pulled him closer still.
Looking into her eyes for one last time, he registered the desire and love. She needed him, and he was damn well do something right for a change. So, finally giving way to passion, he pressed his mouth to hers and pushed into her.
She felt him enter her, and instantly knew that it was the right decision – it just felt so right. He gave her a little time to adjust, before thrusting into her again, building up a rhythm. She responded to his touch and me his thrusts with her own, trying to get closer still. She felt his hands, running up and down her body, sensual and tender as they caressed her skin. He groaned as she traced her fingers up and down his spine, taking in every inch of his muscular form.
She marvelled at his strength as he pounded into her over and over, mouth still firmly attached to hers, his tongue wildly sliding up and down her own. As the rhythm kept building, she felt the pressure within her gaining momentum and increasing. He too felt this as she tightened her grip on him, muttering incoherently into his ear.
Finally, she felt the pressure reach a climax before it suddenly dissipated, spreading waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Simultaneously he felt release, as glorious bliss flooded every inch of him. They held onto each other throughout, riding the waves together, as one.
Hours later, they lay there in the darkness, side by side, each felt a wonderful feeling of satisfaction. The empty voids inside them had been filled – the gaping hole of loneliness was no more. They had each other, till the end of time. And when you're a Time Lord, forever is a long time.
