Chapter Twelve

As soon as Remus had left the infirmary Poppy accio-ed a hospital gown for Severus to change into, Severus muttered something unintelligible under his breath but moved to comply and pulled his shirt off. Albus' eyes widened in shock before he abruptly turned to face the door.

"Severus, you have no sense of feminine modesty," Poppy playfully chided.

"That may be attributed to the fact that I am not a female." Severus sneered.

Poppy pulled a screen around Severus' bed as he finished changing.

"Okay, Albus, I am decent," Severus called out.

A moment later Albus' head peered round the screen, "Ah, if I was only a hundred and thirty years younger," he said with a smile.

"Albus," Severus said with a frown, "this is no time to be joking around,"

"It is somewhat disconcerting to see you in such a guise," Albus said as he sat down next to the bed.

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Albus said.

Severus retold the story from when he finished drinking the memory potion.

"Do you have any idea who would have set up the prank?" Albus asked when Severus finished his tale.

"Considering I am the most hated man at Hogwarts I could draw up a list a few metre long," replied Severus, "however, to overcome the wards on the classroom, the culprit would have to be from at least the sixth year. I shall have to check later,"

"Now, on a another question, I would guess that you would not want others to know of your.new form, so how shall we explain your presence?" Albus mused.

"You could say that I have been called away on personal business," suggested Severus, "and that I have appointed a new substitute,"

"Will you be a stranger, friend, or relative to yourself?" asked Albus, "I think it would be nice for you to take a break from being.you,"

"That might be nice," admitted Severus, "though I would prefer not to have to act too differently from myself. How about a relative, a very distant relative? Voldemort knows most of my immediate family,"

"If you want to keep your temperament you would need to be from your father's side of the family, I remember your mother was a Ravenclaw, very nice girl" Albus said.

"A cousin, twice removed, living in Eastern Europe.Latvia," Severus said. Severus' brow creased in thought before he said, "I will be called, Seraphina Snape,"

"Seraphina?" asked Albus.

"Yes it was my great grandmother's name," replied Severus.

Remus re-entered the infirmary for the umpteenth time that evening, this time he held a medium sized jar in his hand that contained a murky brown liquid. He strode over to Severus and gently placed it on the table next to the bed.

"I got as much as I could, Severus," Remus said, "Most of it has been absorbed by the floor,"

"Ah, Remus, let me introduce you to Seraphina Snape, cousin twice removed to our own Severus," Albus said.

Remus raised an eyebrow, "Enchanted," he said with a smile.

Severus rolled his eyes, "Don't even start, Remus,"

Severus picked the jar up and began to unscrew the lid when a voice interrupted his mission.

"Severus Snape you should be resting," Poppy scolded as she walked toward the trio, "there is no telling what that potion did to you. And you two," Poppy glared at Albus and Remus, "you should know better than to disturb one of my patients. I will take charge of this potion until I release you, Severus,"

Thoroughly reprimanded Albus and Remus bade Severus goodnight and left the infirmary, and true to her word Poppy took the jar and left Severus to sleep.

***

"No, I do not see any point in it," Severus said angrily.

"If only you could see yourself, you would agree with me," Poppy countered.

"Good morning, so what is the latest disagreement about?" asked Remus, as he walked through the doors of the infirmary.

Severus was standing next to his bed with his hands resting on the table; Poppy was opposite him with the bed keeping them apart. Upon hearing Remus, Severus turned and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to Poppy.

"I am just trying to convince Severus that he needs some lessons in being a female," Poppy said as calmly as she could.

"I do not needed lesson on being a female," Severus said angrily.

Remus looked at Severus a moment before he spoke, "Well, to be honest I think you may,"

Severus looked up at Remus with a taken-back expression on his face, "What?" he asked.

"The way you are sitting is one thing," Remus said.

Severus looked down at himself, "I do not see what is wrong, I always sit like this,"

"Exactly," Remus said, "you've always sat like that as a man. But no women sit with their legs parted like that,"

Severus fell silent, and his brow creased slightly, "I'll agree with you on that point, but still I do not see the need for lessons, how much is there to learn?"

"A lot more than you realise, Severus," Poppy said.

"Fine," Severus conceded.

"At last," Poppy said and threw her hands skyward, "thank-you, Remus,"

"Firstly, you will require some new clothes," Poppy said.

"What is wrong with my clothes?" Severus asked pointing to the pile of freshly washed clothes at the end of the bed.

"They are cut in a men's style, and I can see that you are not six feet anymore," Poppy said, indicating Severus' smaller form.

Severus, although was not six feet anymore, was a respectable five foot seven, and he now possessed a small lithe body.

"I have taken the liberty to purchase new clothes for you," Poppy informed Severus.

"What?" Severus asked aghast, "When?"

"This morning whilst you were still asleep, I took a trip to Diagon Alley by floo," Poppy said, as she pulled several small brown paper packages from her apron pocket and cast an enlargement charm on it before handing it to Severus.

Severus looked at the packages apprehensively and gingerly lifted them and placed them on his lap and took the brown paper off the top parcel. Severus' eyes widened when he saw that the garment was not his customary jet-black but a dark velvety blue, shaking it out he realised that it was a full, long-sleeved, high-necked dress.

"You expect me to wear a dress?" asked Severus horrified.

"All of the female staff wear dresses," Poppy said gently, "it is not proper wizarding etiquette for women to wear trousers,"

"Really?" asked Severus genuinely.

"Yes," Poppy replied, "the wizarding world does not change and adapt as quickly to the 'modern' times as the muggle world, Severus. We are almost on the verge of the twenty first century but we still retain many of the customs and laws that were laid down by our forefathers in the middle-ages, and women are still not seen as equals to men. Do you remember when women were finally given the right to vote in the wizarding world?"

Severus hesitated before answering, "It was in the late fifties, I believe,"

"Yes, long after the suffragette movement in the muggle world that allowed women to vote," Poppy said with a sigh.

"I have never realised that," Severus admitted, "Why does no one do anything about it?"

"There are people who are trying to change things but it is difficult work, especially with the draconian Ministry we have; on the highest board of ministers there are no women that hold a seat,"

"Surely if enough women rally against the Ministry that would start the ball rolling toward change," Remus suggested.

"Many of the women are bought up with the old beliefs and stringently follow them, however with more students coming from the muggle world there is hope that they will help bring about change," Poppy said.

"But still, do have to wear a dress," Severus all but whined, "it is bad enough have a female body but is it really necessary to dress as one,"

"Yes, Severus," Poppy said with a patient smile, "but do not worry, I did get a black robe for you, as well as one in dark blue. I thought that it would promote the idea that you were a different person,"

"Fine, Poppy, I suppose you will want me to get change now," Severus said with a sigh.

Poppy drew a screen around Severus' bed.

"Poppy?" Severus said slowly, "Do I also have female.underwear?"

"Yes," Poppy said.

"I was afraid of that," Severus said quietly.

On the other side of the screen Remus chuckled quietly to himself.

Meanwhile, Severus had taken his hospital gown off and had slipped into his white cotton briefs, and Poppy was showing him how to put a bra on properly. There were two main ways to put one on, either, fasten it round your torso first then twist it round to the proper way and slip your arms through the straps, or put the bra on the proper way and then fasten it blindly around the back.

Poppy unwrapped the second parcel; it contained a white, sleeveless dress with white embroidery down the chest and around the hem. The dress had a low square neckline that was lined with lace, and five opaque buttons from the waist to the neck.

"What is this dress for?" asked Severus.

"That is an under-dress, the material of the dress is not so thick and I know it can get quite cold in the dungeons at this time of year, I have also bought several pairs of tights, two thick ones and two thinner ones, they should keep your legs warm," Poppy said.

Severus nodded his thanks, and slipped the white dress over his head before pulling on a pair of thick tights. The blue dress went on next and as Severus was buttoning up the dress Poppy presented him with a pair of black dragon hide boots with a one-inch heel. Lastly, Severus put on the midnight black robe with black embroidery around the edges and fastened the silver clasp at the top.

Poppy closed the screen around Severus' bed, smiling at Severus she pulled him up to a standing position. "Well, Remus, what do you think of our dear Seraphina?" Poppy asked.

Remus turned round and his mouth dropped open, "Wow," was all he could say.

Severus scowled at him, "Whatever you are think, please desist," Severus said.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Remus said finally recovering his ability to speak, "you just look so different,"

"I know," Severus said resentfully, "instead of a forty year old man, I now look like a twenty year old girl,"

"Okay, shall we start our lessons?" asked Poppy cheerfully.

"Yes," Severus replied resolutely.

And so for the rest of the morning Severus learned the ins and outs of being feminine, from walking gracefully in high heels, or as Severus referred to them as 'ridiculous stilts', to his composure. Remus had opted to stay to give a 'man's perspective', and had past on his knowledge of women, Remus admitted that having lived with three sisters it gave him a insight into the workings of women.

Severus drew the line when Poppy wanted to teach him how to act toward possible suitors and on prospective dates. Fortunately Severus was a quick learner, which was a good attribute when playing a double agent.

Around lunchtime Albus strode into the infirmary and greeted them all in turn, stopping lastly at Severus, "You look wonderful, Severus, or should we start to call you Seraphina?" asked Albus.

"I think it would be better to begin calling me Seraphina, so as to reduce the chance of accidentally slipping up," Severus said.

"I have informed everyone at breakfast today that you had to leave to attend a personal matter, and that a substitute had been appointed. Have you thought more of a background for Seraphina?" Albus inquired.

"Yes. I was home tutored, which would explain why there is no record of me in any school, and because of that I was able to pass my OWLs and NEWTs before I was seventeen. Since I then I have been travelling around Europe plying my abilities as a Potion Mistress for experience and money,"

"Keeping it simple," Remus said.

"When would you like to 'arrive'?" asked Albus

"I would like a chance to analyse the potion first, so maybe this evening at dinner," replied Severus. ***

The evening arrived to find Severus busy in his laboratory, an elaborate construction of glass pipes, flasks on tripods being heated by a magical fires and spells was set up all over the three work benches. Liquids of all hues were bubbling, dripping and evaporating into other parts of the apparatus.

A knock at the door broke Severus out of his reverie, striding out of the laboratory Severus strode to the door and wrenched it open, a slightly stunned Remus stood ready to knock again.

"Come in and close the door," Severus said shortly and walked back into his laboratory.

Remus complied and followed Severus, his eyes widened in amazement as he saw the apparatus set up. "Wow, that's a lot of equipment," commented Remus, "what is it for?"

Severus smiled and said, "This is something of an adaptation of a muggle technique known as chromatography. The muggles use chromatography to separate mixtures into their constituents, then using other methods they determine what the constituents are likely to have come from,"

"Where did you learn about chromatography?" asked Remus.

"I spent some time in the muggle world some years ago," Severus replied.

Remus eyed Severus but did not comment on the remark, "So how do you know where the constituents came from?"

"That is one thing I learnt in the muggle world," replied Severus, "it seems that everything is made up of atoms and molecules, and they all act in different ways that influence the properties of the object that they make up.

"For example, salt is made up of two molecules sodium and chloride, when they bond together they share an electron, which is negatively charged, thus making one atom positive and the other negative.

"Water is made up of oxygen and hydrogens, oxygen is negatively charged because it has free electrons, and the hydrogens are positively charged because it is sharing its electron with oxygen.

"When salt and water is mixed together, the salt dissolves in the water because the positive sodium is attracted to the negatively charged oxygen and the negatively charged chloride is attracted to the positively charged hydrogen," Severus finished off.

Through out the mini-lecture Severus' entire façade had changed from his stoic expression to an animated one, which usually happened when he was talking about potions.

"Okay, I understood not a lot of that," confessed Remus, "but how will you know where the constituents belong?"

"I have tested every single ingredient in the potion making world and have a book of their constituents, as well as several muggle books," replied Severus.

"That's great," Remus said, "you should publish something like that,"

Severus' face melted back into neutrality, "No. No one would publish any of my work, that and many of the potion masters are somewhat stubborn in their ways,"

"Oh," Remus said, "Um, anyway, I've come to escort you to dinner, it's almost time,"

"I'll be done in a few minutes," Severus said and moved to the nearest work bench where a roll of parchment was held open on two rollers, three quills were situated on the full end of the roll nearest to the apparatus. On the space between the two rolls there was a line down the right hand side where adjacent lines of various lengths were drawn, and above each line was a picture.

"What are they?" asked Remus, pointing to the pictures.

"They are the molecules, this one," Severus said pointing to the diagram nearest to the quills, "is salicylic acid, it a constituent of willow and meadowsweet, it is this molecule that relieves pain. And the line next to it shows me how much was present in the mixture,"

"This is amazing," commented Remus, "are you saying that molecules like that is what makes a potion work? How?"

"That is a long story," Severus said, "But if you have time I can teach you what I know of muggle chemistry,"

"Why hasn't the wizarding world started to use stuff like this?"

"In the wizarding world, we have long known that certain plants and animals when ingested, inhaled or applied to the skin will produce a certain effect, we never knew why just that it does. In the muggle world they have always been reluctant to use herbal remedies, but lately they have experimented with our old concoctions and discovered what it is that makes it work.

"For example, they discovered salicylic acid relieves pain, after many experiments they changed parts of the molecular structure and then purified it and compressed it into pills known as aspirins," Severus said with a smile, "after hundreds of years, they have adapted an old willow bark potion into a pill, and they have ways of making salicylic acid from other molecules, so willow bark is not even needed,"

Suddenly the quills jolted into motion and drew a complex diagram, accompanied by a small line.

"It has finished," announced Severus.

"How do you know?" asked Remus.

"I added this molecule into the mixture so that I would know when the experiment has finished. It is extremely heavy and complex, so it will come out last, as opposed to a smaller, lighter molecule which will come out first,"

"You will have to teach me about these techniques one day,"

"If you have an interest I can teach you," offered Severus, "now I believe we are expected at dinner,"

The Great Hall was rearranged so that there was only one long table in the middle of the room as there were only a handful of pupils and teachers that were staying at Hogwarts over Christmas. The raised platform where the staff table usually stood was now the residence of three Christmas trees, all decked out in real fairies who lit up in different colours, bows of all colours, candy canes, an assortment of trinkets and a bright star on the top.

As Severus entered the Hall he saw that everyone was already present, Albus with Minerva and Poppy to his right, and Flora, Victoria, Alates and Hagrid to his left, on the opposite side of the table sat (in order) Ron, Harry, Hermione, two Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw. Everyone stared at Severus, as he took his place between Poppy and Remus.

"Ah, I see that everyone has spotted our new arrival," Albus said. "I would to introduce everyone to the new substitute teacher, Professor Seraphina Snape," Albus went onto introduce 'Seraphina' to everyone around the table.

"Would I be mistaken to assume that you are related to Severus?" asked Minerva.

"No, I'm Severus' cousin, twice removed," Severus said.

"Meaning no offence, but you look so young, and you are already a potion mistress," Flora said.

Severus smiled and said, "I was home tutored, so I took and passed my OWLs and NEWTs before I was seventeen. I've been travelling for the past three years, selling my work and apprenticing,"

The night continued in the same vein, as everybody wanted to know more about the new arrival, though thank-fully Albus, Poppy and Remus did their collective best to redirect the conversation every now and again.

*****