The Next Best Thing
by Apple-chan

Pairing: Ino/Shikamaru. Or Shikamaru/Ino, depending on how you look at it.
Theme: Extortion.
Warnings: PG for Ino swearing.
Notes: Dedicated to enerirenie.
Disclaimer: Not mine.


Nara Shikamaru stared at the structure in front of him. Then, he turned to his companion and gave her a wary look. "…What are we doing here?"

"Oh, don't ask anymore. Just walk, will you?" His companion said in a huff, pulling his arm forcefully towards the structure known as the movie house. Right in front was a huge billboard that said: Ninja Warriors: Attack of the Skeletons—Opens today!

Shikamaru stared at the billboard, trepidation spreading all over his body like some kind of virus. "What is this?"

His companion, none other than his teammate Yamanaka Ino, gave a long-suffering sigh. "Isn't it obvious? It's a movie. Now let's go." She pulled his arm forcefully once again, dragging him to the ticket booth inside the movie house.

He practically choked. "W-wait a second. We're watching that?" A look of dread crossed over his face.

"Yes. Why? Is there a problem with it?" She asked in a demanding tone.

"Yes there is."

"…WHAT?" She practically shouted.

He gave a shrug. "It's stupid." He said matter-of-factly.

She glared at him. "It is NOT!"

"It is." He gestured dismissively towards the billboard. "Do you see that title? Honestly." He shook his head. "Ninja Warriors: Attack of the Skeletons?" He snorted. "Please. It's got stupid written all over it."

"Oh yeah?" She challenged. "How can you be so sure of that? Have you even seen it?"

"I don't need to see it to know how stupid it is," he replied dully. "Let's watch something else." He pulled her arms towards the opposite direction. "There's another movie over there, look—"

"NO. WAY." Again, she pulled on his arm forcefully, glancing at the other billboard with great distaste. "I am NOT watching a perverted R-18 movie and you can't make me!"

"Fine." He gave her a superior look, then detached his arm from her grip. "Then you go watch your stupid ninja thing, and I'll watch my movie." With one last wave, he walked off towards the direction of the Icha Icha Tactics: The Movie ticket booth. "See you later."

"NO." With lightning-fast reflexes, she ran forwards and knocked him towards the ground before he could react. "You're coming with me whether you like it or not."

"...Hey!" Shikamaru protested, groaning under Ino's weight. He gave her a look. "Get off me."

"No." She pinned his arms firmly to the ground. "I told you, you're coming with me whether you like it or not."

"I am not."

"Well you have to."

"Give me two good reasons why."

Ino glanced at the billboard, and then, at Shikamaru below her. "Because, that's R-18."

He raised an eyebrow. "So?"

She flung her arms wildly. "We're fifteen! We can't go see an R-18 movie if we're fifteen!"

He shrugged. "…So I'll bluff my way in, no problem."

She rolled her eyes. "Even if you can bluff your way in, you still can't watch that."

Again, Shikamaru's eyebrow went up a notch. "And why not, pray tell?"

Ino thought for a moment, and then smugly replied, "Because you promised Daddy that you'd take me out tonight."

He blinked. "I did?"

An exasperated sigh. "Yes you did."

"When?"

Ino rolled her eyes and sighed with exasperation. "Last night! Hello?" She fought the urge to knock him over the head with a hammer. Which would be pretty painful for him, as he was still currently pinned to the ground.

"I don't remember."

"Oooh!" Finally unable to contain herself, Ino knocked him over the head with her fist.

"Ow." As he rubbed his injury, Shikamaru gave him a sullen look. "I really don't remember doing anything like—"

"It doesn't matter if you don't remember!" She interrupted hastily. "You're still going with me. Come on." She stood up, then turned back to him. "Stand up." She ordered.

Shikamaru crossed his arms over his chest and didn't move.

Ino blew out her hair in frustration. "Stand UP, you lazy ass."

Shikamaru turned his head and ignored her.

The blonde clenched her teeth and practically tore out her hair. "If you don't get up right NOW, we're going to miss the movie."

"…And how does that affect me?" Shikamaru scratched his head and looked up at the sky, yawning with slight boredom.

Ino gazed up at the sky, not to admire the night clouds, but to pray for patience. "I hate you."

"Hmm. Thanks."

She groaned. "Shikamaru, get up this INSTANT!" She practically screamed.

"Wait, let me think…" He paused. "No."

A few minutes more of this and finally, Ino threw her hands up in the air with defeat. "...Oh, never mind. Why do I even bother?" She sighed, then turned to the still cloud-watching Shikamaru. "You know what? You WIN. You can just rot over there for all I care. I'm going to watch my movie."

Shikamaru gave a disinterested wave. "Have fun."

Ino growled in reply, tossing her hair as she stomped away. Insufferable bastard.


Out of the corner of his eye, the fifteen-year-old Chuunin watched as his teammate of three years walked away from him, towards the entrance to the movie house. Come to think of it, he was just a little way off from the movie house, and he could actually follow her if he wanted to—but that's a big if. It was just far too troublesome to bother.

And besides, he'd known Ino for far too long. He didn't really need to go after her. All he needed to do was wait ten seconds, and she was going to come running back to him. He was one hundred percent sure of that.

Truthfully, he did remember promising her father that he would take her daughter out to the movies tonight. Of course he remembered. How could he even forget? Inoshi all but threatened him to do it. He just…happened to have lost track of time earlier today, that's all. He forgot that he was going to pick her up, and so…Ino ended up picking him up, and dragging him towards the movie house. After which, their discussion earlier commenced.

She was easy to rile up. Honest to god, she blew up at the smallest things. Contradict her a little, say something bad about something she liked—like that movie Ninja Warriors: Attack of the Skeletons, heaven forbid—and she would immediately get angry. Her eyes would start flashing, she'd growl…and if you get her angry enough, you might hear a large stream of colorful profanity from her mouth enough to last you a lifetime. Or in certain instances, she might get physical—which is what happened to him.

Seriously…on any other situation, this might be something that would annoy him, but right now, since he was doing it on purpose, it was just all in all amusing. He enjoyed riling her up. It was one of his better hobbies as a fifteen-year-old ninja on a long vacation—second to watching the clouds with Chouji, that is. Being lazy with Chouji was the best thing; arguing with Ino and pissing her off was the next best thing.

And then…seeing her give up—that was always the best part. Shikamaru closed his eyes as he counted down the seconds.

Four…three…two…one…

A shadow loomed over him. Shikamaru couldn't help but grin. It was, of course, non other than…

"All right, what do I have to do to make you get your butt out of there?" Ino said in a 'you'd-better-answer-me-right-now-or-I'll-kill-you' tone.

Shikamaru lazily opened one eye. "Go down on your knees and beg."

Ino looked stunned. "You've gotta be freaking kidding me."

"I'm not." He gave a yawn.

"You're really going to make me do this?"

He opened both of his eyes and glanced up at her. "I'm not forcing you, but if you want me to go with you, then…"

"Okay, FINE." Ino threw up her hands in the air, then slumped downwards in a begging position. She then gazed at Shikamaru with hopeful eyes. "PLEASE. Come with me. PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and holy…come with me." A vein was on the brink of popping on her forehead. "PLEASE," she said again.

Shikamaru gave another yawn just to spite her.

"PLEASE." Ino said, for the fourth time. In between clenched teeth. And with a murderous look in her eyes. Come with me right now or I swear, I will KILL you.

He stretched his arms out for a bit. "I'll think about it."

If looks could kill, Shikamaru would be dead by now. "You can't think about it," she said viciously. "I need you to answer me right NOW."

"What's in it for me?"

…And the vein popped. "What's in it for you? What's in it for YOU? What's IN IT FOR YOU?" She shrieked. "What do you MEAN what's IN IT FOR YOU?"

Shikamaru forced himself not to grin too widely. Second to watching the clouds, getting Yamanaka Ino all worked up and angry was definitely the next best thing on earth. Honestly, he can do this every night, every single moment of his waking life, and all day long. He can do this forever. "I mean, suppose I go with you," he said carefully, "…what will you give me in exchange for my company?"

"ANYTHING YOU WANT!" She practically screamed his head off with her answer. "Just GO with me, all RIGHT? Then you can have ANYTHING you want afterwards!"

"Anything I want?" Oh, this is even better. Definitely, definitely better. "Anything at all?"

"YES, dammit!" Ino exploded. "Now are you going with ME or do I have to DRAG you?"

"…Nope. I'm going." Lightning-fast, Shikamaru stood up from his position and held his arm out to the blonde kunoichi. "Come on. Let's go watch your Ninja Warriors."

"Ugh. Finally." Ino took his arm, and as soon as she got up, she slumped down against him, her head resting against his shoulder. "…You're so troublesome."

Shikamaru chuckled. "That's my line."

"Whatever."

Yep. Second to watching the clouds, this was definitely the next best thing.

END.


Author's Notes:

I've decided there would be a follow-up fic for this, since it needs one. So yeah, follow-up fic, coming up...soon. Hopefully.

Ninja Warriors: Attack of the Skeletons is my own personal creation. Icha Icha Tactics, however, is not, although I got the idea to turn it into a movie from one of the Naruto episodes (100 or something, in which Kakashi saw a billboard of Icha Icha Violence the Movie).

As always, feedback is very much appreciated.