Running In Circles


James Potter was dead. Caradoc Dearborn's body was missing.
They had never been friends, only members of the Order. But after the unveiling of the prophecy, they both became part of a desperate plan; one that would change the future and deceive the world.


I. Out of Hiding

June 30th, 1996

The streets below were dark, save for the orange lights that were few and far between.The evening fog had already begun to rise from the Thames, condensing on the window panes and floating on the chill air that soaked into the older buildings. It was a night he would always remember. He turned away from the window, drawing up the curtains to keep out the cold.

"And he's dead?"

"Yes."

The flames twittered, scattering their shadows on the wall. He had forced the question from himself. For heaven's sake, he knew this was coming. The recurring nightmares had been haunting him for years.

"You are certain?" He tried to keep his expression unreadable.

"Quite."

"And Harry?"

"Back at Hogwarts."

He felt himself frown. "Where he should be." He strode to the fireplace and glanced down at Caradoc. "It's nice to see him kept there every so often."

"There's no need to be angry with me."

"No need. Only will."

Caradoc scowled. "You tend to be angry, don't you?"

"You should have learned that from me by now."

Unwilling to pursue the argument, Caradoc sighed. He could never win a battle against this man. "Well then, have it your way. I've said all I have to say."

The man's reply was blunt. "Indeed."

"I'll leave you to grieve, then."

"How thoughtful."

After a slight hesitation, Caradoc's head disappear with a pop.

Turning away, the man strode to the decanter, pouring himself a glass of hot liquid. The steam swirled up violently before disappearing into the air.

He was dead.

He re-corked the bottle and slowly lifted his glass. His hands trembled. Scowling and clenching his teeth, he tried to control them.

Dead.

Some mistakes were irreversible. No amount of strength, no amount of effort, no amount of grief could bring back someone who had died. Wearily, he sat down in his chair. He knew that. For heaven's sake, he should be used to it by now.

He sipped carefully and watched the steam re-kindle itself briefly. Every time something like this happened, he felt the same. He felt overwhelmed. Overshadowed. Buried helplessly in his own guilt.

He sipped again, wincing as the hot liquid scourged his tongue.

God, he was guilty. Guilty for everything. For not doing anything when people needed him, for not protecting his friends, for not protecting protecting his family-

Nothing to be done anymore, he told himself. Only the horrible task of waiting. His grip around the cup tightened as he thought of what he could have done if only he had been there.

The shadows flickered over his face as frustration pounded against his chest. He sipped violently, clenching his teeth in anger while letting the liquid burn his throat.

Caradoc said he would let him grieve. But what was grief like to him anymore? He was always grieving. It was monotonous - a ritual of his daily life. He had been grieving for fifteen long years.

Except now it was for Sirius.

All of a sudden, he was overcome by exhaustion, feeling embarrassingly weak.

Too far, he thought.

Abruptly, he stood up, spilling some of the liquid on his hand. He cursed and set the glass down on beside the decanter. Reaching for his cloak, he wrapped it tightly around himself and tucked his fingers firmly around his walking stick.

Quickly, he strode out of the room. It was about time he needed to speak with Caradoc in person. He must be heard this time. He WOULD be heard. He impatiently descended the dark stairwell and pulled open the door.

Caradoc would have no choice but to listen to him. He would make sure of it.

Too far. He had let it go too far.

As he stepped onto the street, he brought the hood of his cloak up to shield his face.

All right, Sirius. He thought desperately. I'm going to come out now.


Disclaimer: (twitters about nervously) I...err...don't own anything...