Disclaimer: Maybe Haruka & Michiru exist in an alternate universe and Naoko-sensei claimed that she made them up even though she actually just met them when she was warped to a different dimension... Ummmm... do I really have to make up another one of these? Alright. Repeat after me, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko-sensei, Toei, Bandai, Kodansha, etc... even though we would've kept it alive and made it so much better.

Handcuffs anyone?

Retaliation

Plan B: S & M


"Haruka-san," Seiya bowed formally. "I have a favor to ask."

Haruka was shocked. Since when did the cocky Sailor Starfighter bow down to anyone?

"I-would-like-your-permission-for-Michiru-san-to-spend-a-month-with-me," Seiya said in one breath.

"Nani?" Haruka's fist was inches away from Seiya's head. She paused to give the fearless fool a last chance to redeem himself.

"I need a pseudo-girlfriend to get the paparazzi off my back!" Seiya didn't even blink. He was expecting this kind of a reaction and calmly explained himself. "Ever since our return, they've been constantly wondering about our sexuality. Although Taiki and Yaten don't mind the media speculation about an underground relationship, I don't want that to turn into a threesome! So I need someone who is alluring enough to deceive all those damn reporters. I've already talked to Michiru-san and she told me she's okay with it as long as you're okay."

Not again...

"Why can't you ask the other girls?" Haruka crossed her arms defensively. The direction of this conversation was starting to sound all too familiar...

Since when did everyone share my taste in women? Haruka wondered. No matter how delicious Michiru is... Baka, that's not the point. Haruka scolded herself. First Chiba, now Seiya? What's going on lately? It's like some cosmic power is messing with me... (The evil author Ayu no Ichigo laughs in the Tomoe Souichi manner..., sorry, bear with me during my one and only chance to shine in this story.)

"Believe me, Haruka-san, I considered. Honestly, requesting this favor is one of the top three on my suicide list," Seiya admitted. "But no one else is the perfect candidate. Rei, Makoto and Minako will probably go after other idols while 'dating' me. Ami is so serious, so she's not convincing. Setsuna-san is a little 'mature' for me, not to say she's not sexy. And Odango... well, that would just be too dangerous for us to play with fire. Just a month, Haruka-san. I just need to generate some hype and then Michiru-san will be free to 'break up' with me."

Despite her fuming rage, Haruka had to agree that Seiya had a point. Michiru was the perfect lover, she would definitely put to rest any rumors of Seiya's sexuality if she played his girlfriend, but...

"Why should I grant you a favor?" Haruka suddenly recalled the dressing room incident many many years ago. She didn't exactly want to risk playing with fire either.

"Well, Haruka-san, you actually owe me a favor."

"I do?"

"Hai," Seiya finally got the chance to stretched out his back. He had Haruka just where he wanted her. "Remember before you faded away during your last fight with Galaxia?"

"So, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, you had asked us, the Starlights, to take care of your Princess for you. And we kept that promise."

"You're upholding me to a promise that I made on behalf of saving the world?" Haruka couldn't believe Seiya. "That's a new low, even for you."

"You didn't let me finish," Seiya good-naturedly brushed off the insult. "Of course, I won't hold you to that promise. I was going to say or, if you prefer, there was also that incident last month at your place..."

"What incident?" Haruka challenged.

"Wake up... Make up... Shape up!" Seiya reminded as Haruka hastily covered his mouth while glancing around nervously. (Please see Amusement if you don't know what's going on.)

Seiya grinned when Haruka pulled back. "Do we have a deal now?"

No, Seiya was not low. He was the bottom.

"..." Haruka could only glare at Seiya and uttered some inaudible phrases.


That evening Haruka came home to find Michiru packing three Louis Vuitton suitcases in the master bedroom.

"You're quick to dump me," she said bitterly to the violinist.

Upon seeing her partner's disgruntled face, Michiru dropped the remaining of her clothes into the last suitcase and coyly approached Haruka, planting a deep, delicious kiss on the racer's lips.

"I'm proud of you for being so helpful towards a friend in need. Seiya told me about how understanding you were," Michiru smiled sweetly after delivering her "reward" to the racer.

"Believe me, I've been feeling way too generous lately," Haruka retorted bitterly. Thoroughly enjoying the erotic kiss just made her realize how much she will be missing out on for the next month.

"Frowning causes wrinkles, Haruka," the Senshi of Embrace gave her lover a playful squeeze, snuggling. "Besides, I will only be gone for a month."

"But," Haruka protested, "we have never been apart for that long ever since we've known each other."

"We can always talk on the phone," Michiru suggested. "Since we're supposed to be 'broken up', we just can't physically be caught seeing each other in case the media snoops around. Otherwise, my facade with Seiya will automatically be destroyed"

"But, what if that bastard offers to help you undress again?"

"Ara, so you were jealous. Don't tell me that still bothers you. You should know that I was only testing him," Michiru was a little surprised. She gestured to her open suitcases, "Don't worry, I'm packing your pajamas, my lingerie collection is staying here."

"But, how will I fall asleep at night without you in my arms?"

"Maa..." Michiru giggled, blushing. "Then I guess we need to make the most of our time, ne?"

Unfortunately, the blonde, preoccupied with concerns, was completely oblivious to the playful innuendo. "But-"

"Haruka," Michiru interrupted, silencing Haruka with a delicate finger over her mouth. The blue eyes were mischievous; the soft lips, seductive. "Tonight is the last time I will see you for a month. Don't tell me all you want to do is talk."


At dawn, when she heard the black limousine pulling into their driveway, Michiru slowly dragged herself out of Haruka's arms. After showering, she checked her reflection in the bathroom mirror and studied the faint, but apparent, dark circles under her eyes.

That's what you get for sleeping only an hour. Michiru sighed grabbing her concealer.

Strong arms encircled her from behind as Michiru applied her makeup. "Why didn't you wake me?" Haruka's voice may had been groggy, but the husky sexiness was always evident and it never failed to bring a smile across the other's lips.

"I thought you would be too tired to see me off," Michiru turned around and brushed a wisp of blonde hair away from the teal eyes, "especially after being so 'active' last night."

"I am," Haruka admitted as she watched Michiru dressed, "but I have to also set some ground rules for Seiya."

"Haruka!"

"What?"

"Just promise me you won't get jealous or do anything rash no matter what you read in the tabloids," Michiru offered her final words of wisdom as she finished getting ready. She headed downstairs with a suitcase while Haruka followed with the other two, heavier ones.

Michiru kissed Haruka goodbye at the doorway, but Haruka held tightly onto the violinist's waist, unwilling to let go. This was harder than she thought.

"Haruka," Michiru was trying to struggle out of the suffocating hug. "Let go."

"Can we go on a vacation when you're back?" Haruka breathed in the scent of Michiru's perfume. "Alone?"

"Hai," Michiru bewitchingly coaxed, pulling her partner's arms away from her an inch at a time. "We'll make up for lost time when I come back, ne? So, be good!"

"Don't worry, Haruka-san," Seiya assured as he approached the couple. He had been patiently staying inside the limousine to give the inseparable two some privacy, but enough was enough. Does it really take an hour to say goodbye? "I will take good care of Michiru."

That's Michiru-san to you, damn alien bastard. Haruka cursed internally. Seiya, you better not go too far with this.


"Everyday." At 9:30 on a Saturday morning, Haruka sighed exasperatedly as she tossed another tabloid down across the breakfast table. "It's Seiya with his annoying arms around my Michiru. Seiya grinning like a fool standing next to my Michiru. Seiya and his cheesy and revolting lyrics targeted at my Michiru."

"It's only been two weeks," Setsuna had already grown accustomed to the daily complaints and was long over feeling sympathetic. "Plus, you yourself agreed to Seiya's request... I was actually quite surprised. Why were you feeling so generous again?"

"Ummmm..." Haruka had to think quickly. "I felt sorry for the bastard."

"I see," Setsuna tried her best to hide her all-knowing smile. There weren't too many perks to being the Guardian of Time; it had always been taboo this, taboo that. But being able to discover embarrassing past secrets of others, however, was one small advantage. She returned her attention to the morning paper she was reading, taking another sip of her red tea. Suddenly the always poised woman started choking uncontrollably.

"Are you okay?" Haruka asked, concerned.

"I'm... fi... fine..."

"Let me see that."

"See what?"

"What do you have there behind you?"

"Nothing," Setsuna had purposely caused a distraction to hide the day's entertainment section behind her. Of course, Haruka was quick enough to catch the movement, she was the wind.

"It's about Michiru and Seiya, isn't it?"

Setsuna winced knowing there was no way out. She unwillingly surrendered the paper to Haruka, "Hai, just don't freak out."

As always, Seiya's shameless face was plastered all over the entertainment section. Haruka was used to that by now. However, it was the title of today's article that shook her world: Making Beautiful Music Together: Seiya Kou Announces Engagement to Kaioh Michiru.

Haruka's eyes grew wider with each word, she took a deep breath and read on.

"Saturday, Apri 30, 2005.

"ODAIBA, Tokyo (Entertainment Nippon) - In 1997, Three Lights vocalist Seiya Kou (24), along with bandmembers, guitarist Taiki Kou (24), and keyboardist Yaten Kou (24), mysteriously bowed out of the spotlight at the height of a seemingly short-lived career. After a long absence, the Three Lights came back earlier 2005 by successfully releasing a Euro-mix version of 'Nagareboshi he' / 'Todokanu Omoi: My Friend's Love'. Both songs were they claim to fame in the 1996-1997 era, and their new remix single debuted at No. 1 on the Oricon charts last month.

"Now all grown-up, the idol boyband is yet again quickly gaining a large female fanbase, across all ages. The question the majority of the Japanese female population is asking: Are the three eligible bachelors available? The lack of trophy girlfriends within the celebrity population, both domestically and internationally, has lead to suspicions regarding the members' romantic orientation. Are they, or are they not? After all, the Three Lights do all seem to possess the perfect hair, delicate features, and androgynous voices.

"While Taiki and Yaten still remain a public mystery, Seiya had been romantically linked to a mysterious blonde-pigtailed girl that attended Asabu Juuban High School with them years ago. The rumors were never confirmed by the teenage heartthrob himself back then. In recent weeks, however, Seiya has been spotted courting classical violinist Kaioh Michiru (26).

"The talented duo first met nine years ago at the Yoyogi National Stadium for their joint concert. There were even reports that sparks may had been flying then. Seiya was spotted visiting Kaioh after their performance together for a lengthy amount of time in her dressing room, behind closed doors. He was later thrown out, allegedly by Kaioh's then beau Formula-1 racer Tenoh Haruka (26).

"Prior to Seiya, Kaioh had been dating Tenoh since her debut as a violinist prodigy ten years ago. The couple's sudden split is undoubtedly the work of a persistent meddler. Seiya has been rumored to have written his next solo dedicated to the aqua-hair beauty. Despite being overwhelmed by journalists and paparazzi alike, the playboy singer does not shy away from the cameras when it comes to talking about his new love, 'Michiru and I, us, it just makes sense.' The press has failed to get in contact with Tenoh for his response to this comment.

"The Three Lights press conference is scheduled for this morning from 10:00 - 11:00 at the Fuji TV Plaza. Upon announcing the dates for their summer concert tour, Seiya has confirmed that he is going to make 'an important personal announcement'. There has been speculation that he will be proposing to Kaioh in front of live national television."

Haruka glanced up at the clock, 9:51, tick, 9:52.


The abundance of estrogen can be smelled in the air. Cameras flashed wildly in a sea of screaming female fans. The Three Lights were at the center of the plaza sharply dressed in the latest fashion: from their Hugo Boss pinstriped blazers to their Just Cavalli denim jeans to their Prada Sport tennis shoes... the trio almost sparkled.

"That about wraps up the conference," the enthusiastic host declared. The dates and locations of the summer tour across Japan had been announced and the press conference was drawing to an end. "Three Lights-san, any last words?"

"Thank you, Mina-san, for coming out here today," Taiki offered a slight nod, his air of sophistication stirring up another round of applause. "Please continue to support our music."

"Minna," Yaten blew a kiss into the ecstatic crowd. "We look forward to seeing everyone of you there this summer."

"And now..." the host announced dramatically, "as promised, Seiya Kou-san has a few important words to address to all of his fans. Seiya-san?"

Seiya finally took to the stage, flashing a taunting million-watt smile, causing some fans to faint under the hot pre-summer heat. "I just want to let everyone know that I have never been happier in my life, both professionally, thanks to all my fans..." Seiya winked, "...and personally, thanks to the new love of my life, Kaioh Michiru." He smiled flirtatiously at Michiru standing between their agent and publicist, and held out his hand to her.

Playing along, Michiru joined Seiya on the platform and allowed him to suavely placed his arm around her shoulders. "I have an important announcement to make. Michiru and I..."

A rumbling of the motorcycle engine drowned out Seiya's last sentence. Tire rims were scrapped as the half-assed parking job tilted the vehicle over, but its owner, the blonde car-enthusiast did not give her blunder a second thought as she stormed her way towards the center of the plaza.

It's the ex-lover! The crowd, shocked and excited, parted to make room for the Formula-1 racer.

"Seiya!" Steam was practically visible as Haruka approached the stage, planting herself between Michiru and Seiya. "You better have an explanation for this."

"Haruka-san, come on now," Seiya whispered, placing one hand tightly over the microphone to prevent the public from listening. "You agreed to this."

"This was not part of the agreement," Haruka hissed, raising her voice just a little for some of the reporters in the front row to catch on. "You betrayed my trust in you."

"Keep your voice down," Seiya tried to reason. He glanced at the attentive crowd, everyone was straining their necks to hear the private conversation. "This is all just for show."

"I don't care anymore." Even with the covered microphone, many heard the racer's next words loud and clear. "I feel cheated. I can't go on living in this lie!"

Both reporters and fans were getting a little confused. Most had innocently assumed that this was just the testosterone-driven confrontation between the ex-boyfriend and the new steady, but the conversation was now certainly heading towards a new direction. The paparazzi were salivating.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Haruka was not finished and decided that the three visitors were overstaying their earthly welcome. "Don't you have an Empire to rebuild?"

The Three Lights stared at Haruka. She did not just say that.

"Don't you guys have better things to do on Kinmoku-"

Right at that moment, Seiya grabbed Haruka's head and sealed her lips with the only thing he could think of... his lips.

The cameras went wild.


Underground Lovers: Formula One Racer and Three Lights Vocalist Outed!

The titles...

Seiya Kou, "Tenoh Haruka is the Love of my Life!"

...went on...

"We Have Nothing to Hide," Tenoh Haruka.

...and on.

"Thanks for diverting the attention away," Yaten expressed sincerity for one of the few times in his life.

"Yes, you and Seiya being in a relationship is definitely more intriguing than myself with Yaten," Taiki added whole-heartedly.

Haruka quickly reminded herself that Michiru made her invite the Three Lights over to make peace, not war. Of course, Seiya, being still angry with Haruka, did not even bother to show up, but Taiki and Yaten were not ready to give up any opportunity of mockery. Unfortunately, Haruka had also promised Michiru that she would be on her best behavior if she still wanted to go on that vacation.

"I said we have nothing to hide because I am not in a relationship with Seiya," Haruka felt she needed to say something in her defense as she balled up each and every tabloid with her fists. "Since when did that translate to 'I'm proud to be in a homosexual relationship with Seiya?'"

"You can hold another press conference and clear up your sexual ambiguity. That way, it can be a heterosexual relationship," Setsuna suggested, giggling wickedly with Michiru.

Haruka shot Setsuna a dirty look. But her animosity was short-lived as she saw the Two Lights approaching Michiru out the corner of her eye.

"Since Seiya is 'out of the closet', the media should expect Michiru-san to be on the rebound," Taiki directed his attention to Michiru and offered a white rose that came out of nowhere.

"Now that Seiya can never hope to clear his name, we finally have the opportunity to save ours," Yaten looked meaningfully at the violinist too. "Michiru-san, your shade of lipstick today looks absolutely stunning on you!"

"Taiki-kun, Yaten-kun," Haruka walked over and protectively hid Michiru behind her as she flashed them the most seductive smile that her very well-hidden feminine side was capable of. "I am just as good of an actress as Michiru, you know."

That night, an unexpected meteor shower occurred. Three streaks of shooting stars twinkled across the calm skies towards a far away direction, a certain star called Kinmoku-sei...

O-shimai


Ichigo's Notes: I absolutely love messing with Haruka and making her to do out-of-character things by being possessive about Michiru! Can I officially change my name to "Haruka Tormenter", no? But in writing these stories, I also I think I'm going to be in trouble with Haruka for a very long time, gulp...

Haruka-sama, I've learned another lesson, please touch me gently!

If you haven't figured it out, these retaliations are against a certain cross-dresser for kissing some random rabbit. If she can't keep her lips locked, then it's only fair that she gets kissed by another cross-dresser (or hermaphrodite). : p