Coping with Existence, Part Two-Ars

June 4, 2016

Afternoon.

The day had become warm and sunny, all sunshine and fuzzy feelings. Not too hot, a little over not hot enough, just the perfect temperature. It made people want to find their own patch of sunlight, beneath a tree that let juuuuust enough sun through it's branches, and stick a sign into the ground next to it that read "Sunbeam property of...ME! Haha! Stay off my sunbeam or I'll sic the squirrels on ya! GO, MY MINIONS!"

Or something like so.

However, on this wonderful of wonderful days, not everyone was sunbathing in his or her own private sunbeam. Two teenagers, bored out of their skulls, were contemplating what to do. One was thinking of playing a certain cello to relieve some of the boredom he was suffering from until the evening. The other was thinking along less musical terms, trying to follow the television show she was barely hanging onto mentally.

Both were trying quite hard not to think of the other.


Shinji finally got fed up with his own thoughts and decided to break out the cello. He pulled the case from his closet and delicately laid it on the floor. Opening the case, he pulled the cello upright and picked up his bow. Nudging away the case with his foot, he propped the instrument against his leg. Shinji was ready to play, but the problem was that he didn't know WHAT to play. He decided to ad-lib for a while until his mind came up with something.

He put his bow to the strings and produced a low, clean hum. Satisfied with his cello's tuning, he proceeded to make music.


Asuka was knocked out of her mind haze when she noticed a deep, yet quiet humming noise emanating from the hall. Particularly coming from Shinji's room. Although she swore she wouldn't say it out loud and NEVER to Shinji, every time she heard his music she stopped whatever she was doing at the moment and listened as well as she could. It was rare to hear the boy play and even rarer still to see him play for an audience. She turned off the TV and sat alone on the couch, eyes closed. Even though Shinji was in his room, probably sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes closed in concentration, the way Asuka focused on his music made it seem like he was right there, alongside her.

A tear leaked out.

Asuka wiped the tear away angrily. How dare her tear ducts shed any of their contents for anyone! Especially HIM! It had never happened before as the boy played. Why should it now? "Damn you, Shinji," she swore quietly. "Damn you for your kindness, your patience, and your wonderful music." She sniffled a little as the cello picked up a bit in volume, changing into something that sounded like "Ode to Joy".

Shinji Ikari continued to play for the audience of one he didn't even know he had.


The reverberations from the wooden craft of art flowed from pitch to pitch, humming low and high, first slow, then fast. Effortlessly, his bow slid across the strings. Concentration was gone from his mind as he freed his thoughts go and let his fingers dance.

It always led back to Ode.

He found himself smiling slightly as his fingers automatically found the places they had been taught to go. The sound lessened at first before raising in a triumphant crescendo as "Ode to Joy" hummed out, crisp and clear. Even though the cello could not generate enough sound to produce the sensation of hearing the song in its full orchestral majesty, it took Beethoven's creation and added it's own qualities. It was as though the cello itself were alive and conducting a concert within its wood.

His bow, in his mind, became the conductor's baton, jolting and twirling with the music. The deep bass hum were the brass and deep-voiced string instruments; the quick, high notes, the woodwinds, violas, and violins. His fingers were in perfect unison with those of the imaginary orchestral music-makers, never faltering, or hesitating. The orchestra pitched and swelled, living in a concert hall of a polished and well-used cello. Time was, for the moment or minute or age it took to play the Ode to Joy, oblivious.

Shinji wondered if his mother could see this.

His mood was darkened slightly when he realized the only sounds his mother could hear were ones of raging battles, shrieking Angels, and the quiet buzz of NERV headquarters working around her. The Evangelion Unit One, keeper of Yui Ikari's soul.

As if responding to his sudden lapse in happiness, Shinji's cello produced a loud SQUEEEEK! The boy jumped slightly and laughed nervously. He gently opened the case of the cello and placed it inside, taking a moment to put the bow in a separate side pocket. Stretching and popping his back, Shinji glanced over at his bedside digital clock. The display read 6:37. Alarmed, the boy opened his door and literally ran into Asuka, falling to the floor.

"Aaah! Gomen! Gomen!" Shinji repeatedly apologized, trying to pick himself off the floor. A blushing Asuka looked ready to kill the young man, but simply shrugged it off (an action rarely done by the young lady), and pulled Shinji upright. "You ever try to grope me like that again and they'll never find your body, baka."

"I didn't! I wasn't!"

"Whatever. Misato said you've got about thirty minutes left to get ready."

Which, of course, meant...

"We have an hour to prepare for tonight, then lounge around for another twenty to thirty minutes as she frantically tries to choose what to wear, right?" Shinji asked.

"Right," Asuka sighed. "We've been living here long enough to know our guardian's habits, hobbies, and beer choices. Must be some kind of record."

This made Shinji smile a little. Misato WAS becoming too predictable.

"One last thing," said Asuka. "I get to shower first."

Normally, Shinji didn't fight for bathroom time (owing to the fact that Asuka held the looming threat of a butt-whupping over his head), but after playing his cello for about an hour straight, he wanted to unknot his body from staying in the same position too long. "Hey! I want to relax a bit! Just this once?"

"No, Shinji." Asuka said, blushing again.

Shinji started to get frustrated. "Well, why not?"

"I'm kind of already...dressed for the occasion." She said, blushing harder.

It was only then Shinji noticed her state of dress...or rather, undress. Clad in only a towel, Asuka was trying to hold her bin of toiletries in front of any embarrassing parts, so as not to cause problems. Shinji promptly spun around, hoping he hadn't incurred the wrath of Asuka.

"I was already on my way to the bathroom when you came barging out and ran into me. I figured you were preoccupied with playing your hunk of wood, so I just nabbed a towel." Asuka explained.

Shinji frowned at his cello being called a hunk of wood but let it pass. "Fine," he conceded. "Just don't take forever this time, okay?"

"Ooooh, someone's got a spine." Asuka teased Shinji before leaving for the bathroom. He smiled, then shut his door, already deciding on what to wear for their dinner arrangement.


'When did they build THIS?' Shinji's mind wondered. The restaurant was huge. No, huge was an understatement. Gigantic was more accurate. The restaurant was a multi-tiered building, with area on each tier to hold easily a few hundred customers. The entire place could have probably fit his, Ayanami's, and Asuka's Evas, if they were crouched slightly and close together. He wondered briefly if NERV contractors had anything to do with the dynamic structure of the restaurant...but dismissed it. Instead, he focused on the ever-growing line of couples behind them. It stretched from the close to the center of the restaurant (conveniently where they were located, waiting for the maitre d' to seat them) to well beyond the door. Finally, the man checked his watch one last time, nodded to the staff, and simply, but smoothly, said, "Welcome."

In front of Shinji, Kaji extended his arm towards Misato, who gladly took it. Like some sort of nobility, they walked past the maitre d's podium, led by a waiter. Shinji almost stepped forward when his own arm was entwined around someone else's. He turned his head slightly to see Asuka, arm locked around his, leading him forward.

"What are you doing?" he whispered into her ear, alarmed.

"Hamming it up, baka." She whispered back, smiling smugly.

Shinji didn't know what ham had to do with formalities, but decided to go along with it anyway.

They were led to a large elevator near the maitre d's podium, which acted as the central hub of the restaurant. It stretched from the ground floor to the very roof of the building, stopping at each floor to allow patrons to disembark to their tables. The elevator itself was made of what seemed to be glass at first, but was really extremely resilient plastic, made to mimic glass. It was very impressive, Shinji thought, as he watched the floors drop away around and below him as the elevator rose. At the sixth floor, it stopped, and Kaji and Misato got off. Shinji followed, but Asuka held his arm tightly, and said to Misato, "We're going to be eating on the roof, okay?"

"Oh, really?" Misato said, smiling in a way Shinji wasn't sure if he liked or not. "A romantic dinner alone? The two of you? Gasp! My God, Kaji, we're becoming bad influences on them!"

Shinji blushed, and from the increase in warmth from Asuka's arm wrapped around his, he knew she doing the same as well.

Kaji just smiled knowingly, and said, "Well, if you really want to, we won't stop you. Just remember Shinji," he added with a chuckle. "The man always pays for the lady on a date."

"It's not a date!" Shinji and Asuka said simultaneously, reddening even further. Kaji and Misato just laughed, and continued on.

The elevator doors closed, and the lift returned to its climb.

Reflecting on Kaji's comment, Shinji glanced at Asuka. Her face was in full blush, complementing the vibrantly red evening dress she wore. Black arm-length gloves and heels finished the outfit, and while her face needed no makeup to further her beauty, her azure eyes were a stunning contrast. The boy suddenly felt under-dressed in his simple tuxedo. He shivered slightly, and unexpectedly.

The roof, in Shinji's opinion, seemed more extravagant than the rest of the building. It was a large, crystal-like dome that sat on the restaurant's top; the glass was so transparent that the boy had no doubt that if it wasn't for the little stained-glass patterns, he probably would have walked right into it. The fading sunlight, almost completely gone, but not quite, reflected brilliantly through the structure. That, coupled with the height of the building and the magnificent light draining from the surface of Tokyo-3, made it quite a breathtaking spectacle.

Both Children were awestruck for a moment.

"Would Sir and Madame prefer to have a window seat?" the waiter leading them smiled, noticing the effects of the dome's build. Mutely, and somewhat eerily, they both nodded in perfect unison.


Dimly, Asuka made a mental note to refer this restaurant to Hikari.

From what she had seen so far, Asuka had been damn glad to accompany Misato and Kaji. The staff was hospitable, the place was immaculately clean, and the menu...well...

"I've never heard of so many things in one menu!" Shinji gasped, leafing through the foot-and-a-half high menu. "What's creamed corn?"

Asuka sighed, and flagged down a passing waiter. "Two steaks," She said, authoritative. "One medium rare, and the other..." Asuka looked expectantly at Shinji, who was still browsing the menu with wonder. She cleared her throat, causing the boy to jump a bit, and ask, "Yes?"

"How do you want your steak, Baka?"

He frowned in confusion. "Steak?"

"Yes. Steak. Meat. How do you like it?" She said, exasperation seeping into her voice.

"I've never had steak."

"Oh, for Gott's sake--make his well done. And a couple of glasses of your best wine."

"Ma'am," the waiter said patiently. "Would you happen to have a form of identification?"

In response, Asuka pulled out her NERV ID. The waiter's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"Ah...I see. Very well then." He walked off to get the drinks, sweating slightly. Not even Shinji could resist smiling a bit. NERV had way too much influence in Tokyo-3.

"So, Baka," Asuka said, after finishing a chuckle. "What do you think?"

"About what?"

"Us."


Warning sirens went off in Shinji's head.

"What do you mean, Asuka-chan?" Shinji feigned ignorance, almost visibly trying to not blush. If the affectionate title bothered or embarrassed the girl, he could see no sign.

"Well...for starters, things have been pretty normal since the Angels were defeated, right? I mean from the occasional sync test and sparring with the Evas, nothing's happened."

"Right."

"Haven't you ever thought about it before? When we were battling Angels, did you ever wonder what it would be like after Eva? After all was done and we saved the world?"

Shinji shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I used to think about it a lot, to be honest. When the end came, I thought the calm and peace would be such a shock, and for a while it was. But then it became the same as before Eva." He shook his head. "No, that's not right. Before, I had nothing. Existence was my worry. Now, I have much more."

He thought he saw a smile flit across Asuka's face.

"Pardon me."

Both jumped a little, then realized the wine had arrived.

Asuka peered at the bottle. "Sake?"

"Yes, ma'am. The highest quality rice wine we have here, as per your request."

Asuka looked ready to kill the man. She steeled herself to shout the man into the ground, stories below, when Shinji, anticipating this, covered her mouth. "This'll be fine, thanks." He took the chilled bottle from the waiter, placing it in the little ice-filled bucket on the table. The waiter bowed slightly, and walked off. After a few seconds, Shinji realized that he still was silencing Asuka, and removed his hand. "Gomen." he said, trying not to smile at Asuka's half-furious, half-impressed glare.

"Whatever, Baka," she sighed, impression winning over anger. "Shut up and pour me a glass."


"I still can't believe that stooge dropped trou right in front of me!" Asuka exclaimed, sipping her third glass of sake. "He has absolutely no shame!"

"You should have seen him when Misato visited the school for parent-teacher conferences. He almost fell out the window trying to get a good look at her!" Shinji chuckled, as he carved a small piece out of what was left of his steak.

Somewhere, deep within the recesses of Tokyo-3, in an almost pitch black room, hunched in front of a television and sweating slightly from exertion, Touji sneezed. His character on the screen faltered slightly, allowing his stooge friend to finish it off. "Dammit!"

The steaks had been delivered some time ago, and to Asuka's opinion, hers was one of the best she'd had. It tasted a little like heaven, if heaven was cooked medium rare and made of meat. Surprisingly, the sake went well with the food, and was giving her a pleasantly calm feeling. She thought she heard a buzzing noise, but dismissed it as ambient chatter. "So!" she said, trying to ignore that damned buzzing. "How's tonight been so far?"

"Rather good," Shinji said. "I'm glad we came with Misato and Kaji."

Asuka chuckled as a thought crossed her mind. "Hey, Shinji...do you remember the plugsuit I let you borrow?" She had the wicked pleasure of seeing the boy blush redder than she'd seen him before.

"I was kind of hoping to forget about that, Asuka-chan." he mumbled, eyes averted, then looked up with a grin. "How about the elevator?"

She blushed back. "I'm gonna kill that stooge." Asuka muttered.

Shinji swore he heard a sneeze from a few floors down. He shrugged, and returned to finishing off his steak. Asuka sipped a bit more sake, marveling at the sharp flavor. Another thought came to mind, and she grinned evily. "Oh yeah?" She said, preparing to knock the boy on his ass with one word. She balled up her verbal fist, pulled way back, and just as Shinji was taking a sip, she swung: "Strudel."

The boy instantly snorted into his drink.

Damn, I'm good, thought Asuka as Shinji choked and tried desperately to wipe the spilled liquid off his face as quick as possible.

"You win," he spluttered. She grinned, stood, taking the bottle of sake with her, and started walking to a side door that led out to the balcony. "Where are you going? They're going to think we skipped out on the check!"

"Stargazing, Baka. I'll see you out there."


It took Shinji a few minutes to get the check settled with the waiter (apparently the NERV-issued ID doubled as a credit card), and he joined Asuka out on the balcony. To be precise, it wasn't exactly like a balcony, but due to the grandeur of the rest of the restaurant, he was surprised to see only a squat cylinder about the width of a water storage tower occupying the rest of the spacious roof. As he opened the door to enter, he gasped in shock. Outside the cylinder, the city lights made it nearly impossible to see all but the brightest of the stars in the night sky. Inside, it was almost completely black, lit only by the mesh of stars suddenly viewable. He ducked out for a moment, looked up, and saw only a few. He entered again, and saw the sky ablaze. Shinji glanced around, and saw a dim figure beckoning him over. As he got closer, Shinji could see Asuka smiling in the starlight.

"I have to say," Asuka began, taking a swig of sake. "I am impressed."

"Yeah..." Shinji just stared up in wonder, trying to think about what kind of technology would be able to make the sky so beautiful. Both Children continued to stare at the vastness, occasionally pointing out constellations, and the longer the stargazing continued, Shinji noticed, the closer Asuka got to him, until they were rubbing shoulders. The boy wondered if this was another of Asuka's tricks to bait him into trying something, then screaming pervert, but decided to let her try. He wasn't going to be fooled.

That is, until Asuka kissed gently him on the cheek.

He froze, completely unsure of what to do. Her lips were so soft, and warm...no! I musn't think of such things, he thought desperately. Asuka nuzzled into his side, arms wrapped around him, sake bottle all but forgotten on a nearby table. "I'm sorry, Shinji-kun."

"A-Asuka?"

"I've treated you like dirt ever since we met. I've called you names, hurt you, embarrassed you...can you ever forgive me?" she asked, with slightly wet eyes. Shinji realized that Asuka was either drunk or feeling very, very apologetic at the moment. He was betting on the former.

"Asuka?" he asked, placing a hand on her cheek. She nuzzled into it, confirming Shinji's fear. "Come on. We should go...we can't let Misato and Kaji see you like this." He picked her up, supporting her as they walked to the exit of the observatory. Shinji stuck his head out the door to check for any of the other patrons--thankfully, there was nobody around. He opened the door for Asuka to exit, and she walked somewhat unsteadily through, apologizing constantly. Rather than get annoyed, Shinji helped her out onto the roof and back to the doors of the dome. He noticed an elevator nearby, less extravagant than the first, and opaque. They entered, and Shinji pressed the button for ground floor, fumbling around Asuka's form. The girl clung to him, protectively, almost sobbing apology after apology into his shoulder.

As the elevator descended, Shinji picked Asuka's head up, looking into her teary blue eyes. He blushed at the bold move, but said in a gentle voice, "Asuka-chan, I need you to dry your eyes, okay? We'll be out of here in a second, and on our way home. Will you do that for me, please?"

He stopped breathing when Asuka kissed his cheek again, slowly, and for quite some time. He tried not to think of her warmth as she stepped back and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Okay, Shinji-kun."

The lift reached floor level. Asuka straightened as best she could, and stepped out, holding onto his arm as before. Shinji led them to the exit as quickly as possible, waving good night to the maitre d'. Asuka waved a tipsy good-bye as well, then clung to Shinji once more. They both cleared the door without so much as a glance from the people waiting in line. Shinji breathed a little easier.

They made it about another block before Asuka stumbled, legs suddenly not working. Shinji gasped, grabbing for her, picking her up.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said, slowly, quietly. "I'm okay..." Her legs slid out from under her, and she almost collapsed to the ground. Shinji held her up. He knew she couldn't make it home like this on her own.

"Climb on."


Thank god, Shinji thought, that they decided to build the damn place so close to Misato's.

"Hey," Asuka said, behind him. "Why do they call it piggy-back?" It was the fourth time she had said that in ten minutes, but Shinji asked "Why?" anyway.

"I don't know," she giggled, squeezing his hand gently. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Even though Asuka wasn't heavy, and he wasn't that physically weak, Shinji's arms were tiring, and his back was starting to hurt after carrying the girl piggy-back style for the past eight blocks. The upside to the whole situation was the fact that Asuka had been holding his hand for the past eight blocks as well. Her warmth was the motivation to get her home safely.

"Just a little more..." he said.

Another five minutes, an elevator trip, and several awkward stumbles later, they were at the apartment. Shinji placed Asuka down and held her against him while he pulled out his keycard to open the door, but as the door slid open, Shinji lost his balance, causing them to fall into the apartment. He almost shouted in shock, and wrapped his arms around Asuka to prevent her from injury.

The neighbors below, an elderly couple in their late seventies, had almost gotten to sleep when the ceiling shook slightly, and they heard a loud THUMP! The man grumbled something about lack of respect for peace and quiet. The woman just adjusted the little mask covering her eyes.

Shinji recovered from the nasty little fall, groaning a bit from the pain in his back, but his attention soon turned to the girl laying on him, in his arms.

"Asuka!"

She had an ear pressed to his chest, eyes closed. "Shh..." she whispered. "I can hear your heart."

Shinji's heartbeat almost doubled in an instant. A thousand scenarios flashed through his mind. Misato walking in on them seemed to be the prominant cause for worry in most of them. He had a right to worry; Asuka was lying almost full-length on him, hands on his shoulders, legs locked around his. He could feel them pressing through her evening dress, almost as if the dress itself wasn't there. He swallowed, nervously trying not to make things worse.

Asuka looked up, into his eyes. She was blushing so slightly, a peaceful look on her face, a small smile on her lips. She moved closer to his face.

"I want to kiss you..." she said, inches away.

"Do you want to kiss me?" she said, centimeters away.

"Yes..." he said, thinking of nothing else, millimeters away.

As the space between them closed to a mere breath, Shinji thought once, I musn't run away.

They kissed.

Immediately, Shinji found that this was a far different experience than the first night they kissed. For one, his nose was free to breathe, which he found to be a luxury. He focused on the warmth of her lips, the soft texture of them, the smooth pebbley feel of her tongue against his as it hesitently ventured into his mouth. His arms never moved from around her waist, encircling her, protecting her. He gave himself to the kiss, as she gave herself as well, suckling gently against his mouth. The warm weight of her form on his was as much stimulating as her kiss.

He was lost. Oblivious to all but Asuka. Dimly, a small bit of doubt floated through his mind, a remnant of his fear of rejection.

"Please...don't stop!" Asuka moaned as she came up for air.

That bit of doubt was stamped upon repeatedly by a large, Eva-like foot, and booted from his mind.

They met in a second kiss, stronger and more intense than the last. Shinji could taste the sake she had drank, spicing her breath and the sensation of her lips, spurning him for more. Again they kissed, each warmer and deeper than before. All doubt melted away from his mind, giving way to pleasure, familiarity, togetherness. The solid feel of Asuka reassured Shinji that this was not a dream, or a fantasy, and her want of him was an assurance that this was real.

Presently, Shinji became aware of a problem that had developed during the course of he and Asuka's kissing. Asuka seemed to have noticed it as well; she was blushing redder than her Unit-Two.

"Um...I think I should move." said Shinji.

Asuka just silently nodded, picking herself up with evident reluctance. Shinji stood, almost hurting himself in the process from the sudden limitations of his pants. Asuka giggled, and allowed herself to be led to her room, holding his hand the entire way. They dodged the occasional beer can, and moved aside the stray instant ramen cup, finally reaching Asuka's room. Shinji slid the door open, and helped Asuka to her bed...but before she climbed in, the girl stopped him.

"What's wrong?" Shinji asked, worried.

"It's nothing...just...stand still for me, would you?"

Shinji stood completely still as Asuka took a few breaths and turned herself around. She stepped back until his chest was connecting against her back, took his hands in hers, and raised them to her--

Shinji immediately stiffened. (Author's Note: Bad pun!)

Asuka leaned back and kissed him once more. The warmth of her--no! But they felt so--gah!

"Just enjoy it." She smiled gently, breaking from their kiss, holding his hands in place.

Shinji took in a breath, then released slowly, calming his tension. Asuka kept his hands there for a few heartbeats more, then lowered them. He helped her into bed, covering her gently. She smiled at his kindness, kissed a hand softly, holding it. Shinji took the chair from her little desk/clothes drawer, and sat down by the bed, never letting go of Asuka's hand.

They stayed like that for the rest of the night.


Hoooooooleeeeee Shit! Damn, but it has been a while!

Yes people, contrary to fact, I am and/or was not dead; I was just hibernating, due to procrastination that exceeded an amount of time it should have. I live to write another day! Hopefully.

It's been a heck of a couple of years (I think), but now that I'm finally leaving some of the chains of education behind (read: graduating) I can focus on more fanfic writing! It's a win-win scenario, why not! Well, sort of. I'm going to lose a major source of inspiration for writing, but as they say, adaptation is a necessity.

Wait. That may be wrong. Oh well.

Thanky Dance to: the wonderful people I call my friends, whom I made promise to get me drunk before graduation; Jolt Cola and Wet-Planet Beverages, for FINALLY rearing their heads in my local area. Mmm...Jolt...; Alan Rickman, who made absolutely no contribution to the making and putting-off of this fic--I just wanted to add him because of his excellent voice acting done for Marvin the Paranoid Android; and the mean bastard who invented where I get most of my news from. Sad, isn't it?

Apology shuffle at: the esteemed Strike Fiss, for the "buzzed joke". Sorry, Fiss, I couldn't resist throwing that in there. Go check out his website ( as an apology if you haven't heard of him yet.

As always, though now recently renewed and refurbished, you can email me at if you'd like to throw down the gauntlet! or just send me a What's Up or something.

Cheers.

Ars