Title: Taking Care Of Me
Author: Katie
Story Summary: What you didn't see in "Teach Me Tonight"
Spoilers: Up to and including "Teach Me Tonight"
Pairing: Rory and Jess
Authors Note: This is my very first fanfiction so PLEASE send me
Feedback…Good or bad!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Gilmore Girls…I wish I did though.
Chapter 30:
Rory leaned into Jess's hand slightly. She took a few deep breaths and started to get her tears under control. She hated the pained look in Jess's eyes. She hated the way she was feeling at that moment. "I'm sorry…" She mumbled looking up at Jess.
"Don't be…you didn't do anything." Jess whispered as he tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry…" He added and he lightly ran his hand down her arm to meet her hand which was clenched into a small fist. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before he rested his hand on top of her smaller, balled up one. "What got to you this bad about this?" Jess asked not know any other way to phrase it.
"I feel so stupid…I just…what they were saying, its things I used to worry about. And I know now that its not true…or at least I thought I did…" Rory looked up at Jess to see the confused expression on his face. "Things like just being a phase for you…the good girl…" Rory trailed off as she watched Jess's confusion turn to hurt.
"Rory, how could you think that? After everything, how could you possibly think that I look at you that way? I've never thought of you like that, I thought that by now you would know that." Jess finished still looking at Rory who was looking back at him. Did she honestly believe that she was a conquest for him? He could understand her thinking that at the beginning of the relationship…but now? After everything they had been through together, how could she still think that way?
Rory looked back at Jess. "I don't think that way. I just…I was scared about it at one point, a long time ago…But hearing someone else say it…some one you were with at one point…And someone who you were close to…It just got to me. I'm sorry Jess." Rory didn't know she could have let herself believe that Jess didn't love her. She looked up at Jess and noticed that all the emotion was gone from his face. He was now with her like he was with everyone else. "Please don't look at me like that," Rory whispered moving her hand slightly to intertwine their fingers.
"Like what?" Jess asked a little harsher then he meant to. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that as mean as it sounded." Jess said to her and gave her hand a small squeeze. Jess sighed softly. How could she think that?
"Like I'm everyone else…you're not supposed to be guarded around me." Rory said softly and moved a little closer to him.
"Rory, right now you sound like everyone else…you were always the one that trusted me…that knew I wasn't trying to be with you because it was the 'good girl conquest'…how could you think that now?" Jess asked her. His eyes still were showing no emotion.
Rory closed her eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath. That hurt, but she knew she deserved it. "I know that you love me, and that I'm not a conquest, it just scared me to see who you used to be and who you used to be with and hear them say all those things. I know that's no excuse. Please Jess…I'm sorry…" Rory softly touched Jess's cheek with her free hand and looked into his still emotionless eyes.
Jess nodded slightly. He could tell she was sincere in all that she was saying. He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. He buried his head in her hair and let a few tears escape from his closed eyes.
Rory tightly wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. She rested her forehead on his shoulder and let a few stray tears fall from her eyes. "I love you, Jess." She whispered and pulled him closer to her when she felt his tears on her neck.
"I love you, Rory" He answered drawing small circles on her back with his fingers. "I love you" he whispered.
They slowly pulled back from each other. "Do you still want to come over…we have the house since mom's still in Boston." Rory said pulling her hand across her face to pull away the tears.
"Sure…I guess…" Jess answered her. He didn't want this to come between them, not after everything. He figured he could go over for a while and leave if it got to be too much.
"Great…" Rory trailed off quietly as she stood up. She sighed softly to herself. How could she of thought that? Rory turned to face Jess and saw the still empty look in his eyes. Rory closed her eyes for a moment and loosely wrapped her arms around Jess's neck as he stood up next to her. She felt Jess's arms go around her waist as she leaned up and kissed him softly. She could feel him returning the kiss and could feel that it was half hearted. She pulled herself out of the kiss and pulled herself close to him, "I'm sorry" She whispered before pulling away, grabbing his hand and starting the walk to her house.
