So Long Sanity
Summary: Kagura was a college student looking for an apartment. Sesshomaru was a college student looking for a roommate. Unluckily for both of them they found eachother…so no one's getting their security deposit back.
Disclaimer: Yes I do own InuYasha, I also have ocean front property in Arizona and…. Hey, why are you looking at me like that?
Chapter Three: One Day at a Time
Thanks to Elvis and Kurt Cobain the world will never be the same
You gotta make history one day at a time.
The sun shone brightly through the eastern facing window and onto Kagura's eyelids. Cracking one ruby eye open Kagura scanned her surroundings and found them to be even more unfamiliar than the room she had fallen asleep in last night. The maroon colored sheets were fragranced with a mixture of Lancôme Miracle for men, Candies for men and Nautica Longitude Latitude. The sheets were also of a much better quality than the sheets and blanket she had been issued last night, Kagura guessed that they were four hundred thread count Egyptian cotton.
The ebony haired woman scanned the room a bit more; across from the bed was a wide screen plasma TV and a tricked out entertainment system with a high tech DVD player, stereo system, and speakers mounted on the four corners of the walls, which were painted a pale silver and adorned with posters of scantily clad women leaning on motorcycles or cars and framed posters of old movies. A metallic blue electric bass guitar and a silver glitter electric guitar propped up against a decent sized amp completed the décor. It was definitely a guy's room.
"Well," Mused Kagura as she finally decided to remove herself from the bed, "I guess I'd better go help Sesshomaru with breakfast before he burns down the whole building." Scooping up the clothing she had pilfered last night, Kagura walked out the door following the scent of burnt food.
Sesshomaru stood in front of his stove hands on hips, glaring daggers at the contraption that would not allow the inu youkai to cook eggs, sausage, and pancakes properly. His once immaculate kitchen was in shambles with a bowl of pancake batter tipped over on the green granite counter top of the island. Egg shells decorated the other counters and the remains of a gallon of milk graced the ceramic tiled floor.
"I hope you're not expecting me to clean up this mess." Kagura said plaintively staring at the disaster that was the kitchen.
Sesshomaru whirled around to face his roommate and noticed the t-shirt she was wearing. "Hey, that's my shirt!" he exclaimed. The t-shirt ended mid-thigh and the sight of Kagura's long toned legs unnerved him a bit and caused his face to turn as red as the shirt in question.
"Yeah, do you want me to take it off?" Kagura began lifting the shirt as if to take it off and got as far as the top of her green gingham Hello Kitty panties before putting the hem back down.
"No, that's quite alright." Replied Sesshomaru averting his eyes back to the hated stove. "Oh, I made breakfast!"
Kagura walked over to where Sesshomaru was standing taking care to dodge the remains of eggs and milk, "Uh, we have another carton of milk, right?" she asked eying the large white puddle.
"Yes, we do. And I hope you're hungry because I cooked a lot of food." Sesshomaru placed the serving tray filled with sausage and pancakes onto the kitchen table with a flourish smiling the whole time. "Well, eat up."
"You must be joking." Kagura snorted trying to suppress her laughter and failing miserably. "Well, at least the sausage looks edible." And she took one of the links off of the tray and took a big bite. "Wah! It's frozen!"
Sesshomaru looked at his roommate in disbelief, in his opinion the sausage was the only thing on the tray that was identifiable. Wanting to prove his ruby eyed roommate wrong he picked up another sausage and took a bite. "You're right, they are." He admitted in defeat.
Kagura noticed her roommate's crestfallen face and tried to cheer him up. "Hey, at least you tried. Why don't I help you clean up this mess, then I'll take a shower, get dressed and take you out for breakfast. You can then help me move in as payment for the help and the food."
Sesshomaru was about to protest that he didn't need her to buy him anything, but then he remembered that he had used up most of the groceries that were in the bag and needed to buy more. "Fine, I'll go with you, but…."
"This is not a date!" They told eachother in unison.
Taking a shower didn't take long for Kagura when she didn't have all of her toiletries and cosmetics. She just grabbed the shampoo from the corner of the bathtub and the Fresh sugar scrub then using Sesshomaru's loofa from Bath And Body Works she scrubbed down with his Longitude Latitude body wash. 'Well, I smell like Sesshomaru, but at least I'm clean.' Kagura thought to herself stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her hair and another one around her body she grabbed one of Sesshomaru's toothbrushes and his cinnamon flavored toothpaste and brushed her teeth. Pleased with her personal hygiene, Kagura walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where she had left her bra and pilfered clothing laying carelessly on the floor since there was no furniture to drape them over.
After dressing Kagura walked into Sesshomaru's room where he was tuning his bass and humming a song. "You ready?"
"Just about." Sesshomaru pushed himself off the bed and looked Kagura up and down as if trying to decide if it was mere coincidence that Kagura had the same clothes he did or that she had taken the outfit from his room.
"What? Do I have a booger in my nose?" His staring was making Kagura uncomfortable.
"No, you don't. I was just thinking how nice those jeans look on you."
'Oh thanks, so you wanna get going before there's no more seats?"
"Sure." Sesshomaru grabbed his black leather jacket to complete his look of a cream colored mock turtleneck sweater and black cargo pants.
"Now this is what pancakes are supposed to look like." Kagura told her roommate stuffing a hunk of blueberry pancake in her mouth. "Not those charcoaled things you made. Not that I didn't mind the gesture."
"Well, I'd never done anything like that before." Sesshomaru protested while taking a forkful of scrambled eggs and bacon into his mouth. "All I usually have for breakfast is coffee and toast or a bagel."
"Then what possessed you to try and cook this morning?"
"Well…" Sesshomaru racked his brain for a good reason to have made a failed attempt at breakfast. Something better than the voice in his head had come back with a vengeance that morning on the shitter and suggested that the culinary skill impaired youkai try to make amends with Kagura by cooking breakfast for her.
"Well, I'm waiting." Kagura drummed her perfectly manicured scarlet nails on the Formica table in an impatient gesture.
"I decided to throw caution to the wind and try something new."
"Like trying to burn down your place of residence?"
"Sure, why not? It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"It always does." Kagura replied smiling then she realized that she had to get her stuff unpacked today. "Well boxes don't unpack themselves. I think we should probably get going. I still have to call that moving company so they can deliver my bedroom furniture. Oh, and we have to buy groceries too."
"Okay, let's get going. I have a feeling I'll have to scrape something else off the walls by the end of the day."
Three hours later the majority of Kagura's belongings were transferred from her truck to her and Sesshomaru's apartment. There were more toiletries in the bathroom than Sesshomaru felt necessary for one woman and more cosmetics than he'd seen in Sephora.
"Ne, Sesshomaru, what were you doing in Sephora?" Kagura asked her roommate suspiciously after he had made that comment.
"Where else would I buy Fresh sugar citrus facial scrub?" Sesshomaru retorted.
Kagura just sighed and placed her clothes in their proper places, that's when she realized that there were more skirts, dresses, nice pants and nice shirts than there were hangers in her possession. "Hey, Sesshomaru!" She called leaning out the doorway.
"Yeah, what?" Sesshomaru was trying to learn the tabs for Glycerin by Bush and he was upset about being interrupted.
"We need to pick up hangers along with the food when we go out."
"Hn."
"Do you think you could make a list, please? I have to put my underwear away!"
Sesshomaru's face turned beet red. "Yeah sure, just don't mention your underwear."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me, put down fabric softener on that list."
Reluctantly putting down his beloved silver electric guitar, Sesshomaru complied and began making a grocery list for his demanding new roommate.
Half an hour later Kagura and Sesshomaru were crammed into Sesshomaru's silver Volkswagen Jetta. Kagura had offered to drive her truck, but Sesshomaru was not about to entrust his life to some crazy woman who had run him over yesterday.
"And you're any better!" Cried Kagura as Sesshomaru cut off yet another fellow driver. "At least all I did was run into you with myself. You're gonna run over someone with your vehicle!"
"Says who?" Demanded Sesshomaru as he switched lanes to exit and changed radio stations at the same time. "I've been driving for six years." He bragged. "I can even drive with my eyes closed." He turned his head and looked at Kagura mischievously. "Ya wanna see?"
"No, that's alright I believe you." Kagura told the maniacal driver in what she hoped was a reassuring tone. "Besides, you'll miss the entrance to the grocery store and you don't want to do that."
"Okay, but if you get on my nerves again I'll show you anyways." Then Sesshomaru whipped his car into an empty spot and stopped just inches from another supermarket patron's front bumper. "Okay Kagura, we're here. And we're sticking to the list." He resolved.
The couple walked to the entrance of the grocery store with an exuberant Sesshomaru constantly checking his panic button until Kagura snatched it from his hand. "I swear if you do that one more time I'll take that key fob and shove it sideways up your ass." She growled showing off her sharp white fangs." The silver haired youkai just nodded timidly suddenly he was very afraid of his new roommate. "Good."
Sesshomaru, overcome with a sudden feeling of cooperation grabbed the cart from Kagura and began to fetch and carry the things she named off the extensive grocery list until she said the phrase that brings fear to all men human, youkai and hanyou alike. "Okay, I need you to grab two boxes of Tampax tampons. One regular absorbency which is in the yellow lettered box and one in light absorbency in the purple lettered box. If you can get the pearl ones I'd really appreciate it."
Sesshomaru nearly dropped the bottle of shampoo he was holding. "What did you ask me for?" He finally choked out eyelids twitching.
"You heard me, tampons." Kagura was as calm as ever.
"You're joking, right?"
" 'Fraid not. I'm a woman, I get a period, and therefore I need tampons. Oh and some pads too."
Sesshomaru leaned into the shopping cart for support; unfortunately the shopping cart didn't feel like supporting Sesshomaru and rolled forward causing the unfortunate youkai to fall to the floor in an ungraceful heap.
"Such a graceful person you are." Kagura laughed trying to help Sesshomaru up.
"You're laughing at me?" Sesshomaru asked frowning.
"No, I'm laughing at uh… the…." Kagura looked around anxiously for something to save her and spotted Yura and a tall handsome grouchy looking man scanning the aisles She thought at first that her best friend was drunk and therefore with Hiten until she noticed an odd looking purple mark on the man's forehead . "Hey Yura, get yourself over here and meet my roommate!"
Sesshomaru shot Kagura a pleading look but it was too late, Yura had seen and heard the other woman and began dragging her companion with her. "Oh man, he has nice hair!" Yura exclaimed in typical Yura fashion. "Although not as nice as Bankotsu's." And she tugged lightly on the man's long black braid.
"Ow, knock it of Yura." Bankotsu protested. He then retaliated by yanking on a handful of Yura's short black hair.
"Ouch!"
"How do you like it?"
"I don't." Yura assured her companion pulling on his hair again.
The hair pulling continued for a minute while Kagura and Sesshomaru looked at eachother trying to figure out if they should try to break it up.
Sesshomaru rolled his amber eyes and finally decided to say something. "Uh, Nice to meet you Yura, Bankotsu." He said in his usual icy but polite voice, "But Kagura and I have to finish our grocery shopping. Isn't that right Kagura?"
"Yes, of course Sesshomaru." Kagura replied smiling.
"That's good." Yura told her friend. "You told him about the mixer, right?"
"Huh?" Sesshomaru looked utterly confused.
"I take it from the look on your face that my dear friend forgot to inform you of my sorority's mixer this Saturday, which is tomorrow. That's so like Kagura always study, study, study."
Sesshomaru had the decency to look and act shocked. He couldn't picture his new roommate studying vigorously instead of attending a rowdy party.
"Kagura, how could you not remember this? Especially when your new roommate is so hot."
"Very easily Yura." Kagura responded feeling her face warm at Yura's suggestion that Sesshomaru was good looking. "I have a paper due this Monday in my lit class. Two exams on Tuesday and I've been moving."
"You wouldn't have to deal with the moving if you had just stayed with me." Yura complained looking at Sesshomaru's hair. "But I can see why you decided to stay at his apartment."
"Hey, Yura." Bankotsu interrupted his girlfriend, "If you want to beat the rain this afternoon I suggest you hurry it up a bit. We have a role playing game tonight."
Sesshomaru and Kagura looked at eachother in amusement. "He's joking right?" Kagura asked her friend trying not to laugh.
"No, I'm not." Bankotsu replied petulantly. "Yura and I met playing Vampire the Masquerade."
"Figures."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yura asked looking through Kagura and Sesshomaru's shopping cart for the kind of shampoo Sesshomaru used to get his hair nice and shiny.
"That a girl like you would find a guy who likes to play pretend on the weekends." Replied Sesshomaru smugly.
Yura tugged on Sesshomaru's silvery locks in retaliation for his remark.
"Ow!"
The bantering about role playing and hair pulling went on for about five minutes before everyone got bored. Kagura assured Yura that she'd be at the party tomorrow and made Sesshomaru apologize for insulting her. Then everyone went on their merry way.
Sesshomaru looked at the shopping cart. "Is there anything else we'll need?"
"Yes, bread, milk, eggs and juice." Kagura replied.
They grabbed those items along with the offending tampons and got in line. As she helped Sesshomaru load the contents of the cart onto the conveyer belt for the cashier, Kagura noticed that there was an ungodessly amount of ramen underneath of the fruits, vegetables, meats, cereals and toiletries that had been chosen. Taking two containers of kimchee flavored ramen into her hands, Kagura confronted Sesshomaru. "What are these?" She asked in an accusatory tone.
"Well, they look like containers of ramen." Sesshomaru replied in a voice that seemed to imply that he found Kagura quite dense.
"I see that. I'm just wondering why there are four dozen of them hidden under the rest of the groceries."
"I uh….I didn't buy enough yesterday?"
"You lied to me?"
"Well, yeah."
"Why?"
"Because you get on my nerves!"
"The same can be said about you!" Kagura shot back angrily.
"That'll be a hundred and fifty-three dollars and two cents." The cashier told the couple, trying to hurry things along.
"I'd rather stick my balls in a meat grinder than hang around with you all day!" Sesshomaru shot back, oblivious to the fact that he was in public.
"Ahem, $150.02." The cashier tried again to no avail.
"I'd rather set my bra on fire with my boobs still in it!" Kagura retorted angrily.
"Manager, I need some assistance at lane seven." The cashier pleaded over the P.A. system.
"Well, I'd rather eat live scorpions." Sesshomaru assured his roommate.
"And I'd rather you two pay for your stuff and leave at once!" Thundered a new voice.
Sesshomaru and Kagura looked up in fright and saw no one there. Then they looked down into the extremely pissed off face of an elderly old man with bulging eyes glaring daggers at the bickering college students. "I'm sorry, sir." Kagura said in an apologetic tone, "My friend here skipped his medication this morning and I only just found out about it."
Sesshomaru seethed but said nothing. He'd get back at her sooner or later. Just not now because she was the only one with money.
"Very well." Said the old man, his face slowly turning back to a normal shade of peach instead of the tomato red it had originally been. "Just pay, leave and make sure it never happens again."
"Thank you sir." Kagura fluttered her eyelashes and paid the cashier. "Come along, Sesshy. You don't want to miss your afternoon nap."
Sesshomaru complied and followed Kagura out the door and into the pouring rain.
"Missed my medication!" Sesshomaru fumed as they stopped under the overhang of the supermarket trying to figure out where the car was parked. "You told the guy I missed my medication."
Kagura looked up at the fuming man she called her roommate. "You had a better idea?" She asked bemused.
"Yeah, you missed your medication." Sesshomaru retorted scanning the misty parking lot for his silver colored Jetta.
"Why don't you just use that damned key fob?" Kagura asked.
"Because you have it."
"Oh. Yeah." Kagura hit the red panic button and tried to find the place the sound was coming from.
Sesshomaru was a bit sharper because he noticed the flashing red lights of the car's rear end. "Over there." He pointed and they ran through the downpour towards the lights and sound of the car.
When the last bag was loaded into the trunk Sesshomaru made another gallant move and let a sopping wet Kagura sit in the Jetta while he put the shopping cart back in the cart corral. Then when he got into the car himself Sesshomaru popped a burned CD in to the CD player and turned the volume up a few notches. The music began to play then the lyrics to the song started.
Kagura sniffed the air pointedly as they began to leave the parking lot. "It smells like wet dog in here." She complained softly because she was wondering why Sesshomaru had put on this CD "Hey, isn't this song Innocent by Fuel?"
"Yes, what of it?" Sesshomaru asked
"Well, the song sounds the same, but the singer doesn't."
"Ah, well you noticed that much. It's a start." Replied the icy youkai, his amber eyes never leaving the slick road. "Maybe you'll recognize more later." He added almost to himself.
A few hours later the groceries were put away and Sesshomaru was taking a shower leaving Kagura to make dinner. Sesshomaru claimed it was because she owed him and Kagura retorted that it was because the only thing he could cook without ruining it was ramen. The silver haired youkai just kehed and walked into the bathroom leaving Kagura to her own devices.
"I should piss him off and cook strictly vegan for a week." Kagura muttered to herself hoping that because the water was running at full force her roommates hearing would be impaired. "But that would piss me off even more than it would him I bet. Damn his longer fuse than me!" Having now ruled out a strictly vegan meal, she now rummaged through the vegetable bins and found the head of romaine lettuce and carton of strawberries that she had insisted on. "Now all I have to do is grill up some chicken and find those caramelized pecans that Sesshomaru was snacking on."
A half hour later Kagura had put together a strawberry chicken pecan salad that would have even the pickiest of coinsures mouth's watering. Even the sullen Sesshomaru had pronounced the food delicious, and he couldn't stand Kagura.
"Yeah, and I bet even you could make it." Kagura chided remembering the scene from that morning.
"Yes, I believe I shall keep you around for the cooking." Sesshomaru told the young woman in a praising tone.
Kagura didn't find it all that praising so she shot one of the sterling silver napkin rings at the silver haired youkai's head. "No dessert for you." She snapped walking out of the kitchen in a huff.
"I'm sorry!" Sesshomaru called after her. There was no reply so he decided to do the next best thing. He cleaned the kitchen like he was supposed to do that morning.
Fin
Well, that took considerably longer than my last two chapters. It was also considerably longer than the last two chapters. Nearly fourteen pages went into this chapter. In my defense on the amount of time this chapter took, I also wrote two oneshots. I suggest you read those and review if you want me to get another chapter out fast.
Review Shout Outs: OnlyCoolEmoboysKiss (what does EMO mean?) Lady Jolly, RavenLuvsBB, Inu-Midoriko. Hands everyone cookies. Sorry if they're burnt, Sesshomaru cooked them.
