DAY 1: Alter Ego
Wait a second.
Did I really hear it completely right that my master just heartlessly ordered me to sleep in his room for seven whole days? Or I'm just plainly going crazy?
Honestly, I prefer the latter part.
That Li Syaoran is insane. Totally. Every worshipping fan girl of his should know this little something: Li Syaoran is a heartless, slave-driving demon. And an idiotic one at that. Doesn't he even realize that with that humongous size of his castle-like mansion, at least twenty guest rooms exist?
THEN WHY DOES HE HAVE TO INSIST ON SQUEEZING ME IN INSIDE THE SAME ROOM AS HIS?
Oh, God. I am so not going to survive seven days with him. I am so going to slowly perish with constant skyrocketing blood pressure.
If there will be a divine moment when I can get my hands on him, the planets shall align, the clouds will part, and an angel will shed one single crystalline tear, which will fall to the Earth like a huge ball of fire; leaving nothing but ashes where once flourished a civilization of peace and harmony; but from the ashes, the seed of a new beginning reaches upwards to the light of the new-mornings sun… And from there shall emerge the new Eden, because Li Syaoran shall be dead.
Aww, just so great. So much for my very unusual and utterly disturbing surge of poetic-ness today. I think I'm going insane. God help me.
Anyway, this pretty much settles it: LI SYAORAN: SPAWN OF SATAN.
"And if you're planning on disobeying your master, slave, it's not going to succeed, I assure you," he said, carefully emphasizing the word 'slave' from his whole sentence, as if his high-tech radar-ear had detected my plans on assassinating him.
He casually unfastened his seatbelt, and then I saw the corners of his mouth turn upwards into a sly smirk. "And there's another thing." It turned into a lopsided grin. "I only have one bed."
Flaming now for his irritating indifference, I crossly took off my own seatbelt and shifted my position to face directly at The Jerk, flashing the fiercest angry glare that I could manage; even if I had to really exert all the force I possibly can just to move all facial muscles to form a huge frown.
And instead of going all calm and cool and with poise, which is apparently the best thing a 'proper and elegant young woman' should have done (as Tomoyo could've quoted with her high-pitched scolding tone), I just intelligently went, "Excuse me, Li Syaoran! Who the hell are you to force me to sleep at your room?"
Although he should've been seeing some red flames in my eyes or some kind of demon emerging from them, he just grin never disappeared—that same irritating one that I hated very much the first second I saw his silly-looking, moronic face inside my apartment room, and the one I still hate and probably will hate forever.
"I thought I had already answered that I while ago," he said as-a-matter-of-factly, now facing me fully eye-to-eye too. His face was, infuriatingly, much nearer to mine now, as I can already see that demonic flicker within his amber eyes. "Choose one: the asshole or the master?"
Did he really want to be rushed to the emergency room this absolutely peaceful and very b-e-a-uuutiful morning? I wanted to punch him straight at the face right then and there to see his nose squashed like a totally gross, wrinkled, overripe tomato!
It was too much to handle for such a pitiable, tortured Kinomoto Sakura, who, in the very first place, just wanted to lend some help to her (supposedly) best friend so she can get out of her pathetic mess and live as a free citizen of this country (and probably fly straight to New York or Italy for personal shopping for a new Prada bag—and I am not being sarcastic)!
But it seems like my parasympathetic nervous system is maddeningly going to overcome my will and would decide to calm down all the enraged organs within me. Oh, I believe I entirely remember my Science class from years ago, back in Junior High; in fact, I remember that I'd been getting straight As in Biology, not Fs, which I'd been constantly obtaining for Algebra and Calculus.
And it might be just true, for I realized that my hand is starting to withdraw itself from slapping this incredibly-good-at-sarcasm, rich businessman-turned-magazine-model, "striking young Chinese entrepreneur" that very second.
You are so, so stupid, Sakura.
He chuckled again, and nauseatingly, I can feel that my anger is not affecting him a bit. Not even a little. Calm, cool and composed Li Syaoran is obviously teasing me again, like he just developed this new habit, which, unfortunately, is centered on his new slave. I bet he has found in me another subject to test his sarcasm skills upon.
Just so great. My life is getting worse and worse by the second. What did I do to get this?
"Having second thoughts on hitting me? What's with the sudden cold feet?"
"I am NOT having cold feet."
"Then why didn't you hit me?"
I glared at him and huffed, "'Be kind to animals.' Didn't your mother teach you that?"
"So what kind of animal am I, huh?" he asked with a goofy grin, and I almost didn't succeed in suppressing a small giggle.
"A slimy reptile." Like dinosaurs, which doesn't exist anymore. I'll do anything just to make him, and all of his kind, go extinct. Girls deserve gentlemen, not animals.
"What, like an iguana?"
"Exactly. Like an ugly, annoying iguana."
It was then that he started to say nothing. There was this eerie silence all around us. I began to think that he's finally got nothing more to shoot back at me, and that he's accepted defeat. Because he's only staring at me.
Boy, was I ever so wrong.
And he's still staring at me.
"Li, stop that." I scowled at him, pretending that it's not enough to make me back down. It's scaring me enough that I can't say anything more. I'll hate myself even more if I lose in his game now. But I just can't help but think about what's probably going on in his mind, what kind of thoughts are now forming in his head… What he's planning to do.
"What should I stop?" His whisper was low and hoarse. I felt the heat creep up to my cheeks. I forced my eyes to look away. Anywhere, just away from his intense amber eyes, which are utterly responsible for making all of my blood rush to my cheeks.
"You're staring at me, and it scares me." I admitted, still not looking at him. I started to feel the dreadful goose bumps popping out all over my skin and all the hair on my arm and the back of my neck all sticking up. I know it's quite exaggerating to describe it like that, but, God, the distance!
He laughed at me again, which made me feel so pathetic and undignified. I don't know how he does that. "You said I'm like an iguana. All iguanas do is to stare at people."
I hate the way he makes jokes when it's not time to make one. I hate the way his eyes make my knees feel all weak. I hate how his voice sounds too low and mysterious, almost spine-chilling.
"That look… gives me the creeps."
"And why does it give you the creeps?"
I didn't answer him. What should I say? That I don't like his gluey stare? That I don't even like his presence like that, especially in absolute stillness? But no word, even a single sound, came out of my mouth, even this time that I really wanted to scream. Oh God, please send someone here! What if he does something to me? How much more suffering should I receive in this living hell?
When I thought that things couldn't get any worse, it does. His body was almost leaning on me, while he supported his arm on the head of my car seat. He's as close as a breath away, so close that I could smell the fresh spicy scent that clung to his skin. And although I know that the other girls would enjoy this, it's not that way for me.
I tried to back away to leave a space between us that I almost didn't realize was already fully leaning against the car door, but he's just closing in on me some more, trapping me with his body and the door. When I could really feel his hot breath on my neck, all my mind could register is the word "escape".
When I wish that Tomoyo is following me with her video camera, she isn't here to just pop out of nowhere and laugh her usual adoring laugh. Why does she have to do this to me? Just one interruption would definitely save me from this playboy!
No luck. No one's coming. Not even one maid or a driver or anyone. It was just the two of us in that big, dark garage. And I'm trapped.
With no choice left, I chose to break the silence myself. I took a breath and finally faced him, and then I heard myself squeak, "Li—"
"If you hated 'my lord' that much," he interrupted me with another of his spine-tingling whispers, "you could just call me Syaoran… okay?"
I turned my head back to the window, never answering him. Me? Calling him 'Syaoran'? I couldn't imagine myself doing that. And no one can possibly make me. And don't he dare to call me 'Sakura' or 'babe' or any other pet name, or I might just kill him.
Yeah, maybe sooner or later, we should all expect in the news all over the world: 'Kinomoto Sakura, 20, murdered the most wanted bachelor, Li Syaoran, billions of girls tracking her down with a big murdering knife in their hands.'
But I don't care. I just do NOT care, especially if I just happily killed my mortal enemy, the person that I hate most in my entire life. At last.
But I just hope he wouldn't have killed me before I do. You know, killed me by the hideous, endless mocking and fighting. He just couldn't seem to get tired of teasing me. And flirting with me, like what he's doing right now.
Why did I agree to be Li Syaoran's slave, in the first place? What ever happened to my pride? I knew who he was from the start. World-famous playboy. And that's exactly the kind of man I wanted to avoid all my life.
"Sakura…"
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"I told you, don't ever call me by my first name!" Sakura loudly snapped with such a cute grimace.
I couldn't help but smile at that. "Sakura-chi."
"I hate pet names. 'Kinomoto' is fine with me."
I didn't expect that it'll be so hard to tame such an innocent, naïve cherry blossom. I had known that it'll be hard. From the moment that I heard her voice from the phone, I knew. But that's what motivated me more to make her… surrender. The challenge.
But what's the entire stupid reason I took her as my slave, in the first place?
I don't remember. I don't know why. I just got her for no special reason at all. I just liked her the way I heard her voice for the first time. I liked the way she acted when she's with me. I liked the way she argued with me. It was a unique characteristic. She was different. And I wanted to know more about her.
So that's it?
Yep. I think.
I slowly started to cup her chin with my free hand, forcing her to look straight at me. I want to see her eyes; I need to see them. Those brilliant emerald eyes. They were gentle, yet firm. Thoughts of seeing them with a smile on her face came rushing into my mind. I want to see that. Badly.
"Sakura-chi," I insisted. "What if I tell you that if you don't call me by my name right now, I would lose all self-control I've been keeping up and really kiss you?"
I can see her furious, enraged look this close. And I can foremost see the slight quivering of her lips as she obviously couldn't choose what words to reply. It was those soft lips that are making my self-control disappear. God help me.
"I still don't want to call you that name," she declared, and tried to pull away, but I caught her shoulders.
"So that's that…" I only stared at her more. "You're okay if I kiss you."
"Kiss yourself!" she huffed, and then desperately tried to pull away from my arms again. It didn't take much effort to hold her down once more.
"How can I?" I grinned foolishly, trying to twitch my lips as if to kiss myself.
"Idiot!"
And then she laughed.
I couldn't do anything but take in the sight of that. Maybe it was the last time I'll ever see her laugh. All of a sudden, I felt a surge of happiness. The feeling almost surprised me. Her smile alone made my heart beat that fast.
I continued to slowly close the distance of her lips and mine. Truth be told, I wanted to kiss her right from the start. I needed her, though I can always feel the damn hesitating conscience. But this time, I could sense that her scent is intoxicating me. Her cheeks were tainted with an adorable pink flush. Her eyes looked like real emeralds, wide open, staring worriedly at me. Her lips were parted in short breaths of air…
Gods, I'm losing it.
"Li, I told you to… stop that…"
Her voice had no trace of force now. It was so soft, barely audible. It was then that I realized that both of her hands held on tightly to the front of my shirt. Her small hands were almost trembling when she murmured, "Stop."
And I did. I don't know if it was my conscience telling me to stop, or if it was how her voice sounded so pleading that I couldn't help it. I just did. Silence came upon us, that no other sound could be heard, except for her deep, raspy breathing.
"I hate you," she breathed, almost a faint whisper.
I know… I know.
But this is who I am. Maybe she already has this mental image of me formed inside her head. And no matter how I look at it, she hated that image. She thinks I can't be trusted. That I'm not the type of person who will be sincere to her forever.
How can I ever change that?
Sakura, if you could just tell me.
Sighing, I sat back on my seat and opened my door. She stayed still and didn't move until I opened her side of the door and offered her a hand.
She only looked at it, never saying anything.
I breathed another exasperated sigh, and then I put on another happy mask. "I'll show you around the house, Sakura-chi." I grinned, going back to the normal master-slave mode that I thought I wouldn't be able to play again.
This made me think that she only sees one side of me. The unforgivable, unlikely-to-be-genuine one.
Gods, Sakura. Do you know what you're doing to me?
She then looked at me as if I'm insane, and disregarded my helping hand, standing up by herself. I moved out of her way as she pushed to get through. "I can get out of your car by myself, thank you."
"Don't forget who the master here is," I smirked, and she didn't say a word. "If you couldn't satisfy my needs, I can always fire you. But then your best friend will be in trouble, right?"
"Fine," she growled. "What should I do now?"
I don't know myself. I'm already satisfied with you being here with me.
But I didn't say that. I pretended to say in a serious voice, "Escort me to my house."
She looked surprised. "Escort you? Into your own house?"
I laughed. "Okay, I was just joking. Just follow me inside, better?"
She didn't answer. Loudly, that is. Her lips curved suspiciously, as if irritatingly mumbling something, flashing the same sullen glare I got from her earlier. I'm sure I heard her, even if all came out as a whisper.
"Did you say something, babe?"
"Nothing, my lord," she grumbled with such a cute pout.
"Good girl."
I thought she was going to throw up with that much irritation of me. I can see it very well on her pretty face.
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"Damn you, Li."
Those were the words I whispered to myself. I know he heard me, but instead of pointing it out to me, he only smiled gently, as if I never said anything at all.
"Good girl," he had said.
Good girl. Good girl! I thought I would throw up with that. Is he that older than me that he can call me as a 'girl'! How old is he? 50 and can be my dad? I feel like I'm being treated as a five-year old and he's twenty.
I let him walk in front of me, so he couldn't see how much I'm glaring at him, drilling holes into the back of his head from behind. It was a good thing too. That I stayed behind him, I mean. So he couldn't see how I couldn't help my jaw from dropping into the marbled floor of his mansion.
By the time we reached the living room, a huge and extremely sparkling one at that, I had to drag my jaw across the room. The curtains over the big glass windows were extravagantly designed, as if each one of the embroideries sewn on it is worth more than what I can earn for fifty years. There was a whole treasury of antiques from China. There was even a marble statue of an ancient Chinese shogun with his beautiful armor suit.
I felt as if the Li's mansion is a modern palace. More beautiful than the ones seen in the movies!
I looked around further, and my thoughts sank. He saw me inside my apartment room, which is roughly only half of this room. Ugh. Oh well, can't help it, he's the one with the rich family. Look, everywhere he goes, the maids, I think at least thirty, kept on greeting him "master".
Some of them though, the ones whose ages are probably around ours, I don't know if they greet him because of his highness in position, or because they want a smile from the playboy. It sucks.
"First stop, the kitchen." He smiled at me, and then motioned to a black-haired maid, handing her my bags. "Take it upstairs in my room." The maid nodded without any single word and headed straight to the stairs.
I followed him to another room behind what he said was the dining room. "I thought you're probably hungry." He opened the refrigerator and took out two bright red apples. Yum.
No—erase that 'yum'. May that 'yuck'.
"I'm not hungry." I'm angry, I added silently with a false smile.
"You're hungry." He corrected me, as if he knows everything about me, and tossed me one apple taking a bite on his own. Yeah, I am hungry, but I just can't eat anything from that guy. What if it has poison or a drug that makes you fall asleep? "I order you to eat right now."
"What if I don't want to?"
"You should."
"I don't want to." I tossed the apple back to him.
I almost thought he was going to force open my mouth and stuff the whole apple in when I resisted. Too bad, he didn't. All he did was let out another laugh. "So if you're not hungry, should we continue to my room and… do some stuff?"
Stuff?
Oh God, stop. I'm having inappropriate thoughts. I'm really going insane. Maybe he only meant that we're going to fix my things or something. I am really becoming weird, I don't know myself anymore.
"Fine." I heard my voice squeak.
He tossed me the apple again with a huge grin, and I hesitatingly took a small bite on it.
He then snickered. "So you're hungry after all."
Ring!
He let out a pained sigh, and, after giving me a knowing look, he turned his back on me as he answered it. I heard an angry woman's voice, and Li's angry answer too. Minutes of arguing passed, and with a growl, he ended the call and took my hand, pulling me outside the house.
"Where are we going now?"
"Mother just called me up, and damn it, she wants me in the meeting right now," he answered, briskly walking. "I told her I want a day to myself, and now—" he cursed in a whisper as he opened the door to the driver's seat. "Uh, Sakura, get me the long-sleeved shirt and the coat there at the backseat."
Woah. You can't imagine how I was flabbergasted. Now I really looked as a slave. It wasn't a request, but an order. It wasn't a 'could you get me my shirt'. Gods, whatever. I opened the door to the backseat and got his clothing, and got in the front with him. He suddenly started to undress, taking off his green shirt.
I covered my eyes with my hands and shrieked without any concern of hurting anyone's ears. Oh my God… what's this!
"Li!"
"Sorry, sorry!" he apologized, getting the shirt that I accidentally dropped from my lap. I took a peek between my fingers, and there he was, topless! Great that nobody was around, or else we might've been mistaken as… as… Sheesh, I don't want to say it!
I HATE LI SYAORAN!
"Hey, I said I'm sorry! What can I do? I need formal attire!" He left the coat with me and started the engine, rushing out of the garage with an instant eighty kilometers per hour.
I am going to die. What am I doing here? Is he going to kill me? A desire to hold someone's hand came rushing to my head when I felt that he isn't planning on slowing down. But whose hand? It's either I hold his hand or die.
I pick die of course.
90 kph. We're flying. Oh my Lord. I've always hated fast cars. 100 kph.
I looked at him. His face doesn't show any sign of nervousness, unlike mine. Calm and cool businessman stereotype.
Speaking of businessman…
"Aren't you going to do something with your jeans?" I found myself asking him.
He suddenly guffawed. "Why, did you want me to change my pants there, too?" he joked, eyes still focused on the road.
"Oh, shut up. I don't think I'd like that."
He laughed again.
I think it's best to leave him like that. Especially if I'll definitely enjoy myself in that 'formal' meeting. Let's see how he'll look with white long sleeves, black coat, jeans, and the best part of all…
…rubber shoes.
Li Syaoran is going doooown. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.
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It was a little past six in the evening when we returned home.
I mean, to his home. Oh Kami-sama, I'm really losing it. All this laughing is getting into me. I've been laughing the entire day. With all the VIPs, presidents, and other businesspeople in the formal meeting.
As soon as we stepped into the room, all heads turned towards him. Nobody said anything, and I was sure everybody would hear a pin drop. But not until a certain azure-eyed guy started to snicker amusedly, then everyone burst into chuckles.
He said between chortles, "Dude, nice outfit!"
Li only laughed with him. "You think so?" And then, as if nothing happened, he started to talk.
I couldn't stop laughing since then, whenever the thought of him came into my mind.
"So, what do you think about your new fashion style, huh?"
"I think I like it," he replied with his trademark smirk.
I broke into another amused laugh as I held on to the grand stair's railings to keep myself from falling.
"Here's my room," Li stated, turning the knob of a beautifully carved, wooden door on the second floor. "Or rather, our room, Sakura-chi."
I suddenly stopped in silence and glared at him again. "I told you, don't—"
"Don't… what?" he whispered to me seductively, taking my hand and slowly pulling me inside.
"Don't… ever… call… me…"
I didn't have the strength to finish my all-so-short sentence, mesmerized by the beauty of the room. It was as big as the guest-receiving room downstairs. It's even bigger than my apartment room! Decorated with royal green curtains and bed sheets, it was almost like a room of a rich—ultra-rich—prince. It was the room of Li Syaoran, the heir of the Li. One of the richest and most handsome princes in the world.
But my Prince Charming, a playboy?
No, thanks. I didn't plan on becoming a part of his collection of "fair maidens".
"Like our room?" Li asked, gently pushing me to his king-sized bed. Though I resisted, it was a hard thing not to let him push me. I wanted to sit on the bed and discover how soft it is. I had to admit: I always wanted to have a room like this. Oh, Kami-sama.
"No. Not a single thing I like here. Disgusting." I sat straight, but my hands can't help but feel the soft comforter.
I'm such a liar. I love the room. I wish it was mine.
But yes, it's kind of mine right? For one whole week, as Li Syaoran told me, that is. Just so horrible though. If he weren't just the owner of this room, I would gladly accept the invitation and sleep all I can. But knowing that he is, red alert. Danger for one week.
Just then, the bad feeling returned. It still wasn't winter, or at least a few days before winter, but it feels so cold like a snowy night. Under my master's spell, I felt like I couldn't even move a finger or scream. He placed both of his hands on the bed, on either side me. His face was inches from mine.
"What do you want?" I roared. I was blushing too hard that I wouldn't be able to deny it once he notices. I can feel it. The heat in my cheeks was too obvious to even hide.
"What shouldn't I do?" he whispered, and I struggled as he pushed me down on my back. And there he was, smiling again, on top of me. I wanted to get his elbows, which were supporting his weight, off the bed, and throw him to outer space.
His face was right above mine, and I couldn't help but admire his features. I can't deny that he's one hot guy, but I'm not looking on the outside. No, I have not yet seen what's inside of him. I've just seen how he acts normally.
But I know, I know. Behind this façade… I know and I terribly hope there would be the real Li Syaoran. The one I shouldn't hate.
I saw him breathe hard. He took a hand and reached on to my face to smooth back a couple of strands of my bangs that had fallen over one of my eyes. And then he held my eyes once more. Like how his eyes in the magazine did.
"Why do you keep on looking at me like that…?" I whimpered.
Was that whimper from me? I terribly sound like a little abused kitten.
He pressed his forehead into mine, and then closed his eyes.
"Syao… ran?" I heard myself whisper again.
"Sakura…" He then buried his face on hair that was spread just beside my neck, and breathed a soft, "I don't know… I don't know."
Suddenly, I realized: It's not the real him. I mean, figuratively. He's hiding some emotions or something from me. I don't know what, but he's acting like a totally different person from the usual Li Syaoran, some total opposite of him. It was a gentle side of him I never saw. It made me wonder if he had a persistent other ego.
Maybe, just maybe, the playboy I had drawn inside my head is really not the real 'him'.
"Well, I thought we should eat dinner now," someone amusingly said, and the two of us turned our heads to the door. "…but I think I disturbed the both of you."
