Jiraiya's Modeling Corporation
It was a beautiful day in Konoha, by beautiful, I mean beautiful women.
"This is it, opening day!" Jiraiya said excitedly.
"So," Naruto began, "how much does this job pay? Does it pay in ramen?"
"Yea and how often do we get paid?" asked Konohamaru.
"Where are all the hot chicks?" asked Ebisu. "Jiraiya, you said that there would be hot chicks here!"
"They aren't here today, but tomorrow when we actually start business, they will be all lined up for you." Jiraiya replied.
Today was the grand opening of Jiraiya's Modeling Corporation. The business would take in aspiring models, both male and female, and put them through a rigorous five-day course. During those five days, each ninja would be taught the Orioke no Jutsu technique (Sexy Skill (Sexy no Jutsu)). Once the technique had been relatively mastered, they would then be moved on to photography.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Jiraiya spoke to the crowd outside the building, "for years, I have dreamed of opening up my own business. A business that I can be proud of, a business that will create great revenue, a business that will benefit everyone…"
"Especially the men…" said Naruto quietly.
"So without further adieu, Jiraiya's Modeling Corporation is now open!" Jiraiya shouted with a large grin on his face.
The crowd poured into the building with the occasional shouting of "Move!" or "Hurry up!" or "Oh, my leg!"
After everyone had moved inside the building for a tour, Jiraiya, Ebisu, Naruto and Konohamaru went to their respective houses for a good night's sleep. As each ninja's alarm went off at 7:00 a.m., they got up and ran off to the building. As each arrived at about the same time, they stared and at what was in the front of the building, a line, of about 200 women and few men.
Ebisu jumped up and screamed like a little girl at the sight of so many beautiful women at one time. So in excitement, all four snuck around and into the building through the back entrance.
"Ok, here's what to do," Jiraiya said to the other three, "Naruto and Konohamaru, you guys head to the training room, Ebisu, go to photography, me I'll be in the surveillance room. And with that, Jiraiya ran off squealing to the surveillance room, and the others to their assigned places as the front doors opened. One-by-one, the models entered the building, registered, and were escorted to the training room. Naruto and Konohamaru greeted each model as they came. "Hello. How are you? Welcome!" Naruto and Konohamaru said as the models walked inside the room.
"Hi Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten…Sa…Sa…SAKURA, INO, HINATA, TENTEN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE!" shouted Naruto.
"I want to look beautiful to impress someone," whispered Hinata.
"I want to look beautiful for Sauske-kun!" squealed Sakura.
"I want Gai-sensei to be proud of me!" said Tenten.
"I don't want to look fat." Ino replied.
"Ok just, go in…" Naruto said in a depressed tone. 'Holy crap, I can't believe that I have to teach girls I know! I had better get a bonus on my paycheck for this one.' said Naruto to himself. As soon as everyone had entered the room, Naruto and Konohamaru followed them in and locked the doors behind them.
"Ok, here's now it's going to work!" shouted Naruto to get the room's attention.
"It's our job to teach you the Orioke no Jutsu technique." added Konohamaru.
"And after you master the technique," said Naruto, "we will move you on to photography."
"Now do as we do!" shouted Konohamaru.
"Orioke no Jutsu!" shouted Naruto and Konohamaru together. In a puff of smoke, the two boys had transformed into two beautiful women surrounded by mist.
"Oh yea baby, that's what I'm talking about!" said Jiraiya with his eyes glued to the screen.
Echoing nose popping sound
Echoing jet propulsion sound
Ebisu fell down into the ground twitching. He had fallen down from the ventilation shaft.
"PERVERT!" said all the girls and kicked Ebisu's body straight the door and clear into the photography room.
H lay on the hallway floor twitching and had shoe marks all over his body.
Jiraiya was laughing so hard he cried and probably got a hernia.
"Ok everyone, now it's your turn!" shouted Konohamaru.
And it was like that for four more days. Properly done techniques, poorly done techniques, exposed perverted acts, and a lot of laughing. Finally on the sixth day, the training had been completed.
"Congratulations everyone, you all pass!" shouted Naruto and Konohamaru together.
"Now, get the hell out of here!" shouted Naruto.
"Photography is down the hall!" added Konohamaru.
And with that, all the ninja were pushed out of the room and shipped off to photography.
Jiraiya was enjoying himself up in the surveillance room. He lay back in a black leather chair with his eyes closed, yet awake. He was thinking about the past few months. He had been talking with local media sources, talking about his upcoming magazine, Konoha's Hottest Ninjas, which would consist of nothing but pictures of various ninjas using the Orioke no Jutsu technique. He was almost positive that his magazine would be a top seller, especially among the men.
"Welcome to photography, my name is Ebisu." said Ebisu to introduce himself, all the while trying not to drool. "What you do is simple, stand behind that backdrop," Ebisu said pointing to a large grey cloth on the other side of the room, "then you will use the Orioke no Jutsu technique, I'll take your picture, and then we'll all get on with our lives. 'Holy crap I love my job!' Ebisu said to himself. "Ok first up!" said Ebisu to call over the first young woman in line. The young woman walked over nervously and stood in front of the backdrop.
"Orioke no Jutsu!" said the young woman and in a puff of smoke, she transformed into a beautiful red-haired girl surrounded by mist.
"Ebisu-sama, why are you turned around as not to look at me?" asked the young woman.
"To conserve tissues, now here we go, one, two, three!" Ebisu said and the camera flashed.
"Did it turn out alright?" asked the young woman.
"I don't know, let's a quick look." Ebisu replied. 'Don't stare at her, Ebisu!' he said to himself. 'But a little peek won't hurt…' he argued back. Ebisu turned around with his eyes closed and would only open them for a second to see how the photo came out. He opened his eyes and his draw dropped.
Nose popping sound
Jet propulsion sound
Ebisu went flying with a trail of blood behind him. He lay sprawled out on the floor twitching. In about five minutes, he recovered, got up, called in the next ninja, turned around to take the picture, and turned around briefly to check…
Nose popping sound
Jet propulsion sound
He once again went flying across the room. It was like that all day; every time, he told himself not to look, but his massive perversion over rid his better judgment, and it cost him a large amounts of blood.
Where as Jiraiya was having a hell of a time in the surveillance room, switching between the positions of his eyes being glued to the screen or rolling all over the floor laughing his ass off.
By the end of the day, they had completed all but three spots in the magazine, the cover shot and the last two pages of the magazine. Accepting that the day was done, Jiraiya, Naruto and Konohamaru went home. Ebisu headed straight to the hospital, wanting blood transfusions and a glimpse of Tsunade's you-know-whats. The next day was much easier; only two ninja had shown up. Those two, for some reason, just decided to sit in the lobby all day.
"Naruto," Jiraiya said over the intercom, "Ebisu needs you in photography."
Naruto ran off toward the photography room. When he pushed open the door, he saw Ebisu all wrapped up in bandages.
"What happened to you?" asked Naruto.
"I had the greatest medical treatment last night!" Ebisu said with a grin almost too large for his face.
"Jiraiya said that you're going to be on the cover, sigh so let's get this over with." Ebisu said.
"My pleasure," said Naruto, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! (Shadow Replication)" One Naruto became several that filled the room almost completely.
Instinctively, Ebisu closed his eyes.
"Harem no Jutsu! (Harem Skill)" shouted Naruto and in a mere second, the room was filled with nearly naked blonde girls surrounded by mist.
"Ok, one, tow, three!" said Ebisu hastily. Flash the photo had been taken. Ebisu's eyes were practically glued shut, because he knew what would happen if he opened his eyes.
"Poof poof poof" said Naruto to imitate the sound that would signal the transformation back to normal. "Ok, Ebisu, we're all back to normal. You can open your eyes now." said Naruto with a sly look on his face.
"Ok," said Ebisu, "that's…" Ebisu's voice trailed off; as he threw his eyes open to see hundreds of beautiful blonde girls. "…bad." Ebisu added.
Really loud nose popping sound
Really loud jet propulsion sound
Ebisu took off straight through the concrete roof, leaving a trail of thick blood behind him.
Jiraiya eyes were so close to the screen, his eyelashes stood on end because of the electrical current, but only seconds later he was rolling on the floor laughing at Ebisu's stunt.
The clones changed back to normal, and disappeared. Naruto himself changed back to normal. Naruto walked out of the photography room laughing so hard he could hardly stand upright. He paused in the hallway to pull himself together. It took him a few minutes, but he managed to stop laughing. Naruto walked into the lobby, and stopped in his tracks at the sight of two male ninjas pacing around the room with their heads down.
Naruto's jaw dropped.
"What the hell are you guys doing here!" asked Naruto.
The two ninjas stopped walking, held their heads up, looked at each other, and then looked at Naruto.
"We're just as surprised as you are," said Sauske and Gaara.
AFTERWORD: Two more ninja were found to take the remaining two spots for the magazine in order for the first issue to be completed (besides, who would want to look at Sauske and Gaara anyway?). In its first day, Konoha's Hottest Ninjas sold over one million copies. However, reliable sources say that 99.9 percent of those who purchased the magazine never went past the front cover.
